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The universe is 20 years old watch

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    That was ... Somewhat interesting.
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    (Original post by REMLewis)
    It's called a sentence, honey
    There's always a joker in the house

    (Original post by MouldingMercury)
    Sorry >< I'm not trying to be condescending or anything, do tell me what it is you don't understand, I'll try my best to explain. c:
    I understand that there is a guy with flaky skin sitting in a phone box answering the phone.
    The conversations he has with people though seem to make no sense whatsoever. I have no idea what's meant to be going on in this story at all.
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    Nice work, very good! I can certainly empathise with the main character, which is worrying me more than slightly
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    Nice work, very good! I can certainly empathise with the main character, which is worrying me more than slightly
    At least you don't identify with any of the other characters. That would really we worrying ;P
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    There's always a joker in the house



    I understand that there is a guy with flaky skin sitting in a phone box answering the phone.
    The conversations he has with people though seem to make no sense whatsoever. I have no idea what's meant to be going on in this story at all.
    Hey Pinky,

    The first time he answers the phone someone just hangs up.
    The second time, someone is trying to sell him things no one ever needs.
    The third time a stranger is calling the wrong number (he fools around)
    The fourth time, some overly "spiritual" woman is trying to "help" him. (Also, a cat passes by)
    The Fifth time, he is talking to someone he talk to routinely, and telling him the things he tells no one else.

    It isn't necessarily a "story". There're no stories in the real world, things just happen.
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    (Original post by MouldingMercury)
    Hey Pinky,

    The first time he answers the phone someone just hangs up.
    The second time, someone is trying to sell him things no one ever needs.
    The third time a stranger is calling the wrong number (he fools around)
    The fourth time, some overly "spiritual" woman is trying to "help" him. (Also, a cat passes by)
    The Fifth time, he is talking to someone he talk to routinely, and telling him the things he tells no one else.

    It isn't necessarily a "story". There're no stories in the real world, things just happen.
    But it doesn't make sense. If it's supposed to mimic the "real world", as in what would really happen if some flaky man were repeatedly answering a phone box phone, what's all the stuff about the box of mosquitos, and the gallon of tears, and all the random existential universe stuff?

    Thank you for explaining. I'm afraid it still seems kind of all over the place to me, but I accept that you understand what you've written, even if I don't.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    But it doesn't make sense. If it's supposed to mimic the "real world", as in what would really happen if some flaky man were repeatedly answering a phone box phone, what's all the stuff about the box of mosquitos, and the gallon of tears, and all the random existential universe stuff?

    Thank you for explaining. I'm afraid it still seems kind of all over the place to me, but I accept that you understand what you've written, even if I don't.
    No, it doesn't mimic the "real world", that's the last thing I would want to do. I just said that about stories. I admit some things are unsolvable (for any other reader than me, since they are personal references). For instance, the box of mosquitoes comes from a dream I had. I normally try not to explain things too much (I'd rather people stay confused than settle for one answer over others). The last caller is supposed to be the main characters unconscious mind.

    Do you generally have an issue with things when they aren't fully explained? (serious question) Still a bit confused as to what you think doesn't make sense.
    These things he says at the end, are the main character trying to describe living, from his perspective. As simple as that :3

    (I'm happy to try explaining any particular details that you think are out of place/ nonsensical, if you think that would help)
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    (Original post by MouldingMercury)
    No, it doesn't mimic the "real world", that's the last thing I would want to do. I just said that about stories. I admit some things are unsolvable (for any other reader than me, since they are personal references). For instance, the box of mosquitoes comes from a dream I had. I normally try not to explain things too much (I'd rather people stay confused than settle for one answer over others). The last caller is supposed to be the main characters unconscious mind.

    Do you generally have an issue with things when they aren't fully explained? (serious question) Still a bit confused as to what you think doesn't make sense.
    These things he says at the end, are the main character trying to describe living, from his perspective. As simple as that :3

    (I'm happy to try explaining any particular details that you think are out of place/ nonsensical, if you think that would help)
    Your "story" (if not a story, what would you prefer I call it?) is very abstract, and while I don't mind that you enjoy writing abstract prose, you can't expect people to understand your thought process behind it if you aren't clear on the subject matter.

    I write books, and I try to make it clear to the reader what is going on, because I don't want people scratching their heads and wondering what's going on. Don't confuse that for lack of mystery. I try to weave into my plots tit-bits of information that leave the reader guessing until close to the end, where it all comes together in hopefully an "ah-ha" sort of climax. That's just my style, it's the way I write.

    Your stye is much more ambiguous. I got to the end of your text and didn't really have a clue what anybody was talking about. There is no definition between the people who know the flaky man, and the people who don't know the flaky man, so the reader really can't tell who he is having a conversation with. It is not apparent at all that some are strangers to him and others are not.

    His own musings on the universe are strange, and I find I can't empathise with a character whose thought processes are so different from my own. His perspective seems extremely existential and I don't understand where he is coming from. Why does he think the universe is only 20 years old? Why is he even in a phone box answering the phone so often anyway? Is this man homeless? Nothing is explained.

    You say the mosquito thing came from a dream and that you'd rather people stay confused, and then a moment later you say you don't understand why I don't think your story makes sense. That in itself is a complete contradiction. I'm confused because it's confusing.

    It's fine that you've written something abstract. It's like the literary equivalent of an abstract painting. However you have to accept that not everybody will understand it, and not everybody will enjoy reading something that is written in this style.

    I think we'll leave it there. We clearly just have different ideas about prose and styles of writing
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Your "story" (if not a story, what would you prefer I call it?) is very abstract, and while I don't mind that you enjoy writing abstract prose, you can't expect people to understand your thought process behind it if you aren't clear on the subject matter.

    This is not a story, a story implies a linear narrative with a clear beginning, a series of events leading up to the 'Aha!' climax, and a concluding end, which I think you'll agree this doesn't have. It's just a piece of writing. This is definitely not abstract prose, words have meanings and are a direct reflection of the real, concrete world. The value of abstract art is precisely that their experience is beyond words. You can't describe an abstract painting, you can only look at it (In this sense, they are even more real that representational paintings, which are basically visual lies). If you said surreal, I would have agreed (even then, it's only very slightly surreal).

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I write books, and I try to make it clear to the reader what is going on, because I don't want people scratching their heads and wondering what's going on
    Ok, we have very different intentions ^_^. I both want to confuse people, and state the obvious, because life is both confusing, and frightfully bare/ straightforward.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Your stye is much more ambiguous. I got to the end of your text and didn't really have a clue what anybody was talking about. There is no definition between the people who know the flaky man, and the people who don't know the flaky man, so the reader really can't tell who he is having a conversation with. It is not apparent at all that some are strangers to him and others are not.
    Yes! Ambiguity is much more valuable than certainty. Ambiguity leaves room to think, certainty is just a dead end, a conclusion...Where do you go from there? Why do you feel the need to identify some 'theme' behind the conversations? They are words, expressions of the characters thoughts at the time he speaks. That's all. What they are talking about is what is written down. (You seem to think I have hidden some secret code or message...why would I do this?)
    Exactly, there is no distinction between the people who know him and the people who don't, that's exactly the point! Again, I'm not here to explain a scene to the reader, as if the reader can't think for himself, I'm just here to show the scene.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    His perspective seems extremely existential and I don't understand where he is coming from.
    Blasted out of a vagina, neither does he.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Why does he think the universe is only 20 years old?
    Don't take this too literally. He is 20 years old, therefore existence from his perspective is 20 years old...( cue argument: "If no one were alive, would the universe exist?" (the point is not to answer yes or no)).

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Why is he even in a phone box answering the phone so often anyway? Is this man homeless? Nothing is explained.
    Why should all this be explained, that would be terribly boring to the reader.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    You say the mosquito thing came from a dream and that you'd rather people stay confused, and then a moment later you say you don't understand why I don't think your story makes sense. That in itself is a complete contradiction. I'm confused because it's confusing.
    Making sense, and being confusing are two entirely different things. While this may be confusing, nothing is in itself incomprehensible, I intentionally write in very clear, raw English. Again, you mistakenly think it's a story, that it should have a clear plot, opening, conclusion... I don't see the value in those things. Different styles of writing ^-^

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    It's fine that you've written something abstract. It's like the literary equivalent of an abstract painting. However you have to accept that not everybody will understand it, and not everybody will enjoy reading something that is written in this style.
    Again, not abstract. You can't possibly compare writing to abstract painting. Abstract painting is a pure form, like music.
    You've understood the words on the page, that's enough. There is much more, but that's enough.
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    i enjoyed your tale from the Box
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    (Original post by the bear)
    i enjoyed your tale from the Box
    Thank you! :=)
 
 
 
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