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Why are we compelled to befriend one another so strongly? Why is loneliness so bad? watch

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    (Original post by HawluchaGracias)
    I don't think you understand

    I would do anything right now to be out of this situation. It is completely against my will that I am in it and it is hurting me like nothing else. It is sapping all motivation from me to get what I need to get done, done. It is paining me so much. I can't think straight. My throat is clogged up and I feel like I'm choking, the same feeling you get when you are incredibly nervous, but constantly there for minutes and minutes rather than a few seconds. My forehead is throbbing. I just want someone to talk to in person ffs. Someone who cares, someone I can care about. Anyone. Why can I not get this when I see absolutely fools with friends? People who are cruel... When I try my best to help everyone that I can. When I try to remove all prejudice from my mind? What am I doing wrong? What sort of colossal failure am I when so few suffer from these issues?
    I do understand, but since every answer was just making you feel worse, I thought I would give you an answer 'outside the box'! Yeah, I'm sorry you feel that way.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    I do understand, but since every answer was just making you feel worse, I thought I would give you an answer 'outside the box'! Yeah, I'm sorry you feel that way.
    Crying doesn't necessarily mean it is making me feel worse. I just want, right now, to share my feelings with other people. Obviously I have nobody in real life, so this is the second best alternative I guess. Nothing will make the feelings go away; but if I can see that people care somewhat then it will significantly reduce the pain.

    The fact that you altered the way you responded to try and make your response as good as possible shows that someone at least cares a little bit and that just gets me right in my heart... I just... Feel like nobody cares about me at all you see.

    So, thank you. Thank you for having at least a little bit of sympathy for the problems of a stranger *melancholy smile*
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    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    Tell him to **** off because I am THIS close to calling the police.
    Duly noted.
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    I agree. Don't like depending on people or catching feelings
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    (Original post by HawluchaGracias)
    It seems almost counter-intuitive. Sure, sharing heads and specialisation is a more efficient way to get stuff done. But... Man. It just hurts. Why? How badly I wish I could just make my brain switch off all the desires to speak to people and not be lonely. My life would be so much more productive and I could do all that later...

    I'm struggling
    Do you not want to talk to people? Because being social is healthy, people build each other, help each other grow without even knowing.
    Give in to your desires and go talk to someone
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    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    Tell him to **** off because I am THIS close to calling the police.
    You could just tell me yourself, you know :sad:
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I agree. Don't like depending on people or catching feelings
    Yeah, it's a ***** isn't it? If only you could psychologically just switch off those feelings when you like. Would make life quite a lot easier. That said, such empathetic people are still the best I find. They make the best friends. But, finding another is too difficult in a world of callous souls.

    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    Do you not want to talk to people? Because being social is healthy, people build each other, help each other grow without even knowing.
    Give in to your desires and go talk to someone
    I do indeed; but not about trivialities. Most people bore me for numerous reasons. Either, they are only talking to me for their own benefit and are not particularly moral, or altruistic people. Or they only get so far with the conversations, only wanting to talk about what entertains them, resulting in me very quickly getting bored despite wanting to get to know them better in the first place hence tolerating small talk for a brief while in order to attempt to "befriend" them.

    It is all very frustrating for me because I do try to talk to people but it never manifests itself in an actual friendship - someone I can trust. It sounds quite selfish the way I put it above, but I assure you it is not as anyone who is a TSR friend of mine will probably vouch, I am quite a kind person myself and I would do next to anything to help a friend of mine, but despite this, I cannot find anyone who is willing to reciprocate that on anywhere near the same level.
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    I do indeed; but not about trivialities. Most people bore me for numerous reasons. Either, they are only talking to me for their own benefit and are not particularly moral, or altruistic people. Or they only get so far with the conversations, only wanting to talk about what entertains them, resulting in me very quickly getting bored despite wanting to get to know them better in the first place hence tolerating small talk for a brief while in order to attempt to "befriend" them.

    It is all very frustrating for me because I do try to talk to people but it never manifests itself in an actual friendship - someone I can trust. It sounds quite selfish the way I put it above, but I assure you it is not as anyone who is a TSR friend of mine will probably vouch, I am quite a kind person myself and I would do next to anything to help a friend of mine, but despite this, I cannot find anyone who is willing to reciprocate that on anywhere near the same level.
    Well, can't argue with that, i do love my own company and hate small talk, so maybe that's why the 'getting to know someone' is boring for you because it takes time.
    Mmm, so maybe someone who listens to you more rather than aimlessly talks about their own life? Understandable but you gotta compromise in these things.

    Actually yh i can relate because small talk doesn't allow me to fully express the type of person i am or engage in something meaningful so i can leave without a friendship because i don't connect with that person.
    Some day you'll meet people who you connect with even through small talk, these people are everywhere tbh

    It's not selfish because we can choose our friends, be as selfish as you wish, no company is better than bad company.
    Omg i've had similar problems, sometimes i can be too nice and people can take advantage of that, it's hard to trust people because people form trust through disloyalty behind your back.
    Sometimes not everyone can live up to the morals you stand by and people are raised differently - still trying to understand that but yh people don't respect friendships.
    People don't take friendship serious any more and when people like us do, they don't get it, the thing is people treat people like crap,
    when you have standards you'll find not all can live up to it and you'll be disappointed but you may meet a good friend so don't just become anti social in the process
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    (Original post by HawluchaGracias)
    I don't think you understand

    I would do anything right now to be out of this situation. It is completely against my will that I am in it and it is hurting me like nothing else. It is sapping all motivation from me to get what I need to get done, done. It is paining me so much. I can't think straight. My throat is clogged up and I feel like I'm choking, the same feeling you get when you are incredibly nervous, but constantly there for minutes and minutes rather than a few seconds. My forehead is throbbing. I just want someone to talk to in person ffs. Someone who cares, someone I can care about. Anyone. Why can I not get this when I see absolutely fools with friends? People who are cruel... When I try my best to help everyone that I can. When I try to remove all prejudice from my mind? What am I doing wrong? What sort of colossal failure am I when so few suffer from these issues?
    sorry you feel this way,
    It's loneliness and feeling isolated.
    It's okay we all get that somedays, is your next step uni?
    Because you'll be meeting lots more people, i think you need someone to be there, to show love and affection which all humans crave because we are social creatures/
    In this age of capitalism humans are often driven to isolation because we are no longer in close kept communities we are separated and driven by desire for materialistic things which leaves us empty, rather than forming meaningful relationships with others or ourselves.

    Your family can be a support system remember that
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    Mental disorders/milder personality disorders (including those involving an absence of unconditional love/need for social validation), isolation, and social affectation
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