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    (Original post by Andy Social)
    Maybe don't immediately offer/ask if she needs help... Unless she clearly shows that's she's struggling and in want of help, it could be perceived as slightly demeaning/patronising -especially as she's the only girl in the class, taking a subject dominated by males, in which females often struggle to be 'taken seriously.'

    Perhaps she wouldn't see it that way, but I know some people would. Why not just strike up some light, slightly awkward, meaningless small talk at the end of a lesson (even if it's just a brief comment/question on its content), then 'friend' her on facebook. There you can initiate and develop a friendship within the bounds of both your comfort zones.
    Yeah, that's actually an great idea, soi guess comment on her appearance?
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    I would encourage you to talk to her as well, also as it is the first week i would wait to see if you truly do like this girl as first impressions can sometimes be deceiving, as the year goes on you'll see what I mean, I would encourage you to be patient, wait to see if there are actually things you like about her and not just her appearance, as she is very timid this may take awhile, also try talking to some of her friends this would hopefully show her your easy to talk to.
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    (Original post by K.Alim97)
    I would encourage you to talk to her as well, also as it is the first week i would wait to see if you truly do like this girl as first impressions can sometimes be deceiving, as the year goes on you'll see what I mean, I would encourage you to be patient, wait to see if there are actually things you like about her and not just her appearance, as she is very timid this may take awhile, also try talking to some of her friends this would hopefully show her your easy to talk to.
    That may be hard to talk to her friends since she could be in a position like me and not really not anyone from college.
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    (Original post by Andy Social)
    Maybe don't immediately offer/ask if she needs help... Unless she clearly shows that's she's struggling and in want of help, it could be perceived as slightly demeaning/patronising -especially as she's the only girl in the class, taking a subject dominated by males, in which females often struggle to be 'taken seriously.'p
    This. Imo if your thinking of approaching her like this I think you should ask her for help, even if you don't need it. You don't need to lie and pretend your failing or anything, just ask if she wouldnt mind going over something small with you. Or think of a question about the theory and ask her advice on it. This would break the ice, get you talking to her and if she's shy it might make her feel better about herself as it would show you think she is smart / talented/ someone worth approaching.

    I could be wrong as everyone's different obviously but I know that I would prefer that to someone assuming I needed help when I don't.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, that's actually an great idea, soi guess comment on her appearance?
    Well it depends.. She's taking A level CS, so she's clearly somewhat intelligent. Often, intelligent girls (especially if they're shy) are only ever complimented on their intelligence, so would be incredibly appreciative of compliments on their appearance. In the same way, attractive girls frequently complimented for their attractiveness greatly appreciate compliments on their intelligence. They're different, original and make their giver stand out to the recipient. And they make them feel valued as an all-round human being.

    However, you also have to again consider the point that girls taking STEM subjects often feel more obligated to 'prove themselves' in order to be 'taken seriously' and are incredibly conscious of how they are perceived by others intelligence-wise. Only mentioning her appearance could make you seem shallow and her feel inadequate. You have to be sensitive to this.

    Basically, yes compliments on appearance can't ever really do much harm. But make sure you (especially at first) focus on her other qualities (personality, intelligence etc). This will ensure she feels like you fully appreciate and value her as a human being (something which many teenage boys fail to do).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay, I'm 16 and I've never been in a relationship, though I have asked out 2 girls though been rejected by them both. So I'm in my first week of college and I've just met a girl in my computer sicence class, and while I know it's only been a week whilst I've been there i think she is the 'one'. I don't know how to really talk to her though, I think she likes gaming like me, however I'm not positive if she does.she's also really shy (like really shy) and it would be awkward talking to her since she's the only girl in the class. I've also got a friend in my class from my old high school and he keep in contact with all the rest of my high school friends so he'll make it even more awkward if I get rejected by her. Another problem is that I believe I don't see her in any other of my classes and I believe the only free time I have to speak to her is lunch after computer science on Monday. I also like a lot of self confidence. Anyone got any helpful tips?
    Start up a conversation. Talk about if she likes games and maybe which ones she likes to establish some common ground to get her out of her shell. (hopefully she doesn't just like cod or minecraft :P).
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    Start up a conversation. Talk about if she likes games and maybe which ones she likes to establish some common ground to get her out of her shell. (hopefully she doesn't just like cod or minecraft :P).
    Lol I mean she did put her hand up when the teacher ask if anyone had played cod. I mean I used to play cod back in mw2 so it wouldn't be to bad.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That may be hard to talk to her friends since she could be in a position like me and not really not anyone from college.
    Reasons why this mightn't work out well:

    1. This is an incredibly intimidating thing to do. You could (most people would) mess it up, thus ruining her friends' impression of you. Never underestimate the power of 'the friends' opinions.

    2. This, especially in the first few weeks, does seem a bit strong (bordering stalkery).

    3. Many girls delight in discussing the details of new-found-guy-friends with their close buddies. Attempting (potentially catastrophically) to do this would deprive her of the opportunity.

    An opinion unformed is an opinion unspoiled.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol I mean she did put her hand up when the teacher ask if anyone had played cod. I mean I used to play cod back in mw2 so it wouldn't be to bad.
    I suppose it down to preference really. I was interjecting my own so my bad.

    But yeah sure if that's the case you can establish some common ground right there. Honestly try not to overthink it as hard as that can sometimes be.
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    Start up a conversation. Talk about if she likes games and maybe which ones she likes to establish some common ground to get her out of her shell. (hopefully she doesn't just like cod or minecraft :P).
    ^great advice
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    (Original post by Andy Social)
    Well it depends.. She's taking A level CS, so she's clearly somewhat intelligent. Often, intelligent girls (especially if they're shy) are only ever complimented on their intelligence, so would be incredibly appreciative of compliments on their appearance. In the same way, attractive girls frequently complimented for their attractiveness greatly appreciate compliments on their intelligence. They're different, original and make their giver stand out to the recipient. And they make them feel valued as an all-round human being.

    However, you also have to again consider the point that girls taking STEM subjects often feel more obligated to 'prove themselves' in order to be 'taken seriously' and are incredibly conscious of how they are perceived by others intelligence-wise. Only mentioning her appearance could make you seem shallow and her feel inadequate. You have to be sensitive to this.

    Basically, yes compliments on appearance can't ever really do much harm. But make sure you (especially at first) focus on her other qualities (personality, intelligence etc). This will ensure she feels like you fully appreciate and value her as a human being (something which many teenage boys fail to do).
    I really can't remember what she said what she wanted to do after college, I think it's was that she wanted an apprenticeship at 'rare' (very large British game company.) I also want to become something in the gaming industry (most preferably artifcial intelligence programmer). Should I bring something up about that or would it be really awkward?
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    I suppose it down to preference really. I was interjecting my own so my bad.

    But yeah sure if that's the case you can establish some common ground right there. Honestly try not to overthink it as hard as that can sometimes be.
    The only thing is this might mess up, since lately I have been playing a lot of Nintendo games, since nothing has interested me on ps4. The thing with Nintendo games (as of right now) they seem to be categorise under die-hard gamer/nerd, so if I start talking about games I might start talking about how I like zelda, and she may think I'm way too nerdy for her. Should I just try to keep talking about casual games like cod...etc?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The only thing is this might mess up, since lately I have been playing a lot of Nintendo games, since nothing has interested me on ps4. The thing with Nintendo games (as of right now) they seem to be categorise under die-hard gamer/nerd, so if I start talking about games I might start talking about how I like zelda, and she may think I'm way too nerdy for her. Should I just try to keep talking about casual games like cod...etc?
    You're overthinking it.

    Just relax and try to break the ice. Overthinking what you might talk about makes the conversation awkward and hard to maintain.

    If you like Nintendo, then feel free to mention it. Be confident about your interests and you should be fine. I simply mentioned cod because since you know she plays it you can establish common ground by recalling it.

    Like after easing into the conversation "I saw you raised your hand when the teacher asked if anyone plays cod. I play cod too, maybe we could play sometime" or "Do you play cod as well I think I saw you ect"
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    Try and sit next to her in the class you have with her. If your nervous, just start with small talk. A compliment would be a good start Once she becomes more familiar with you it will become easier for you both to feel comfortable around eachother and get talking
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    You're overthinking it.

    Just relax and try to break the ice. Overthinking what you might talk about makes the conversation awkward and hard to maintain.

    If you like Nintendo, then feel free to mention it. Be confident about your interests and you should be fine. I simply mentioned cod because since you know she plays it you can establish common ground by recalling it.

    Like after easing into the conversation "I saw you raised your hand when the teacher asked if anyone plays cod. I play cod too, maybe we could play sometime" or "Do you play cod as well I think I saw you ect"
    ^Yah, tis good
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    (Original post by rachiriot)
    Try and sit next to her in the class you have with her. If your nervous, just start with small talk. A compliment would be a good start Once she becomes more familiar with you it will become easier for you both to feel comfortable around eachother and get talking
    I would sit next to her in class, but we're in a seating plan
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    You're overthinking it.

    Just relax and try to break the ice. Overthinking what you might talk about makes the conversation awkward and hard to maintain.

    If you like Nintendo, then feel free to mention it. Be confident about your interests and you should be fine. I simply mentioned cod because since you know she plays it you can establish common ground by recalling it.

    Like after easing into the conversation "I saw you raised your hand when the teacher asked if anyone plays cod. I play cod too, maybe we could play sometime" or "Do you play cod as well I think I saw you ect"
    Okay, but how will I be able to talk to her after class? As we are leaving it? I mean the last couple of lessons she goes out of the classroom before I do. Would it be strange to say her name and ask her to wait?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay, but how will I be able to talk to her after class? As we are leaving it? I mean the last couple of lessons she goes out of the classroom before I do. Would it be strange to say her name and ask her to wait?
    Nope, not really.

    Don't worry, just do what comes natural to you.
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    (Original post by SophisticatedSir)
    Nope, not really.

    Don't worry, just do what comes natural to you.
    Well, okay I'll try this method on Monday and will try and report back to this topic on Monday, thanks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, okay I'll try this method on Monday and will try and report back to this topic on Monday, thanks.

    Whoops, thanks everyone for your replies.
 
 
 
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