Get really stressed, anxious and ill at just the thought of university work, help! Watch

Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You've done really well, even just going to all the therapy and asking for help is an achievement

Thank you, I'll try! Sometimes it's hard to tell what is the anxiety and what is me, especially when I feel a bit ill and I don't want to go out, I think am I really too ill to go or is it just the anxiety making me feel like I don't want to go? Sometimes I think I put too much pressure on myself but it's difficult to know whether it is ok to not go to things sometimes because a lot of the time I feel bad afterwards for not going but it's annoying having to go against myself all the time. It's really difficult to decide.

At the moment all I pretty much want to do is play games and I'm wondering is that bad. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just my mental state makes me not want to do anything which then makes me think a lot about the things I should be doing which in turn makes me stressed.
I think the turning point for many people is when they begin to put themselves first. I have a basic rule - if it doesn't feel good, dont do it. Never go out because of peer pressure. If you feel good staying in your PJ's playing games then do it! 'Lazy' is a word which needs to be removed from your brain with anxiety there is no such thing as lazy. You wouldn't call someone with a broken leg lazy for staying home.. so why is anxiety any different? I used to push myself, agree to things and think 'as long as I go ill be fine '.. it got me in loads of situations that I didn't want to be in and made me ill. Now I live much slower, I make sure I have a lot of time doing nothing (I took the whole summer for 'me' time even though everyone else seems to be working - I don't regret it ). My goal of life is happiness.. not success with anxiety every happy moment is success
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(Original post by Hevachan)
I think the turning point for many people is when they begin to put themselves first. I have a basic rule - if it doesn't feel good, dont do it. Never go out because of peer pressure. If you feel good staying in your PJ's playing games then do it! 'Lazy' is a word which needs to be removed from your brain with anxiety there is no such thing as lazy. You wouldn't call someone with a broken leg lazy for staying home.. so why is anxiety any different? I used to push myself, agree to things and think 'as long as I go ill be fine '.. it got me in loads of situations that I didn't want to be in and made me ill. Now I live much slower, I make sure I have a lot of time doing nothing (I took the whole summer for 'me' time even though everyone else seems to be working - I don't regret it ). My goal of life is happiness.. not success with anxiety every happy moment is success
That's great advice and a great motto! I seem to go through a mix of feelings very often and even if I do relax for a while, I still get stressed easily and feel tense after. I've even started worrying about what this is doing to my health, now and in the long-term. I think too much too.

What are you planning to do with going back to university? I hope the academic year goes ok for you and the work
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's great advice and a great motto! I seem to go through a mix of feelings very often and even if I do relax for a while, I still get stressed easily and feel tense after. I've even started worrying about what this is doing to my health, now and in the long-term. I think too much too.

What are you planning to do with going back to university? I hope the academic year goes ok for you and the work
Thats good though recovery is making the relaxed bits longer and the aftermath of stress shorter!
Don't worry about long term, you're young and will bounce back plus the older you get the more controllable your emotions become! Females our age are very susceptible to anxiety.

I'm going into my second year I don't get anxious about assignments so I'll be okay, it's just the 5 week placement that'll be a challenge
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Thats good though recovery is making the relaxed bits longer and the aftermath of stress shorter!
Don't worry about long term, you're young and will bounce back plus the older you get the more controllable your emotions become! Females our age are very susceptible to anxiety.

I'm going into my second year I don't get anxious about assignments so I'll be okay, it's just the 5 week placement that'll be a challenge
That's a good way to think, I think I was focusing more on the fact that I kept feeling rubbish, rather than the fact that I am getting over it, I just hope that the next phase might be to not feel badly in the first place. Thank you

It's great that the assignments don't make you anxious, at least it's only 5 weeks and you have support and you know the area, good luck
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's a good way to think, I think I was focusing more on the fact that I kept feeling rubbish, rather than the fact that I am getting over it, I just hope that the next phase might be to not feel badly in the first place. Thank you

It's great that the assignments don't make you anxious, at least it's only 5 weeks and you have support and you know the area, good luck
Positive thnking ^^
Thank you if you haven't already (anonymous xD) please follow me so we can keep in touch ^^
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Positive thnking ^^
Thank you if you haven't already (anonymous xD) please follow me so we can keep in touch ^^
That's something that I haven't quite mastered yet, I managed to do it for a couple of days once and I felt great but I think that the worry and stuff just takes over.

Lol ok

Sorry I have another question, do you have a work routine (like certain times that you work and how do you know that you'll get all your work done in that time as things always take longer than I plan)? I've been trying to work one out and I came up with an idea but I'm not sure that it will work and I don't know whether to jump straight into it because it might be too much for me and make me tired plus I haven't had the lecture on the assignment I'm focusing on yet but I'm thinking time spent reading would surely not be a waste of time or will it be, as there is no strict reading for this assignment and I may go off tangent or something, especially as I am trying to do more planning than I usually do in an attempt to cut down my work time (I work way too much and I'm desperately hoping to do as little work as possible this year but able to get firsts). Now just this is stressing me out and giving me a headache. I wonder how can I deal with anxieties myself. It's even more annoying because I felt so good after CBT and I can't remember why and I don't know why I suddenly became worse in a way.
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's something that I haven't quite mastered yet, I managed to do it for a couple of days once and I felt great but I think that the worry and stuff just takes over.

Lol ok

Sorry I have another question, do you have a work routine (like certain times that you work and how do you know that you'll get all your work done in that time as things always take longer than I plan)? I've been trying to work one out and I came up with an idea but I'm not sure that it will work and I don't know whether to jump straight into it because it might be too much for me and make me tired plus I haven't had the lecture on the assignment I'm focusing on yet but I'm thinking time spent reading would surely not be a waste of time or will it be, as there is no strict reading for this assignment and I may go off tangent or something, especially as I am trying to do more planning than I usually do in an attempt to cut down my work time (I work way too much and I'm desperately hoping to do as little work as possible this year but able to get firsts). Now just this is stressing me out and giving me a headache. I wonder how can I deal with anxieties myself. It's even more annoying because I felt so good after CBT and I can't remember why and I don't know why I suddenly became worse in a way.
Well I always start assignment 2 - 3 weeks before they're due. I have lectures 3 days a week and the other two week days I do assignments. I always finish by 5:30 and never work on weekends (unless I was really struggling but that's not happened yet). I know this doesn't sound like much time but I feel that if I have a good plan and work efficiently then I always finish on time and get firsts. Maybe you should visit the student support and ask for tips on using your time effectively?
How long do you normally spend on an assignment?
I think having clear time boundaries helps you have a relaxing evening to destress
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Well I always start assignment 2 - 3 weeks before they're due. I have lectures 3 days a week and the other two week days I do assignments. I always finish by 5:30 and never work on weekends (unless I was really struggling but that's not happened yet). I know this doesn't sound like much time but I feel that if I have a good plan and work efficiently then I always finish on time and get firsts. Maybe you should visit the student support and ask for tips on using your time effectively?
How long do you normally spend on an assignment?
I think having clear time boundaries helps you have a relaxing evening to destress
I have been to some classes about time management but I can just never get anything to work, I end up spending ages planning and then I never get everything done in the time so it overruns. I've been thinking of doing something similar to you this year but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get enough done.

I always start doing the weekly readings for all the lectures but they take me so much time so I'm hoping to really cut that down but then on top of that I need to work on assignments and my concentration is not great!

I usually start it pretty early like maybe 4 or 3 weeks before the deadline, if there is enough time but also I can be doing two or three assignments at a time sometimes. I did actually manage to do an assignment in two weeks and did really well but it was incredibly stressful and tiring.

I've been putting off my first assignment because I just really don't want to work. We haven't had the lecture on it yet but there is some guidance so I think I'm just going to use that before the lecture to get some done. Between lectures and readings and breaks I feel like there's not really enough time to work on assignments and still get them done in two or three weeks and have evenings and weekends free. I'm going to try to work more in a library environment and finish between 3 and maybe 6 but I really don't know if it's going to work and how I'm going to keep going but it would be good to have evenings and weekends free with the work out of the way.

Yeah I thought that if I have evenings and weekends free it may stop me from thinking about the work because there will be a clear boundary.
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been to some classes about time management but I can just never get anything to work, I end up spending ages planning and then I never get everything done in the time so it overruns. I've been thinking of doing something similar to you this year but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get enough done.

I always start doing the weekly readings for all the lectures but they take me so much time so I'm hoping to really cut that down but then on top of that I need to work on assignments and my concentration is not great!

I usually start it pretty early like maybe 4 or 3 weeks before the deadline, if there is enough time but also I can be doing two or three assignments at a time sometimes. I did actually manage to do an assignment in two weeks and did really well but it was incredibly stressful and tiring.

I've been putting off my first assignment because I just really don't want to work. We haven't had the lecture on it yet but there is some guidance so I think I'm just going to use that before the lecture to get some done. Between lectures and readings and breaks I feel like there's not really enough time to work on assignments and still get them done in two or three weeks and have evenings and weekends free. I'm going to try to work more in a library environment and finish between 3 and maybe 6 but I really don't know if it's going to work and how I'm going to keep going but it would be good to have evenings and weekends free with the work out of the way.

Yeah I thought that if I have evenings and weekends free it may stop me from thinking about the work because there will be a clear boundary.
Sorry if you have already said but what course do you do?
I don't do any extra reading, I just do it when I'm doing my assignment. If you are doing a course like English lit then that'd be impossible though.

What is your first assignment and how long is it? Sometimes I like to think about it on a smaller scale. Say it's 2000 words over 3 weeks. Thats 6 days spent working, so that's only 333 words a day.. which isn't much!
I make a lot of very rough notes as I go, I have a big a4 note pad and write ideas I've read and the references as I go. Then after I've done enough reading to form a paragraph I use these notes to make one. Does that make sense?
So my original plan is:
Write essay on partnership working
Main points:
Empowerment (one section )
Self awareness (another)
Partnership (another)

Then on 3 separate a4 sheets I title each piece with those and read about each subject making notes and references.

I hope this makes sense, it's hard to explain in words
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Sorry if you have already said but what course do you do?
I don't do any extra reading, I just do it when I'm doing my assignment. If you are doing a course like English lit then that'd be impossible though.

What is your first assignment and how long is it? Sometimes I like to think about it on a smaller scale. Say it's 2000 words over 3 weeks. Thats 6 days spent working, so that's only 333 words a day.. which isn't much!
I make a lot of very rough notes as I go, I have a big a4 note pad and write ideas I've read and the references as I go. Then after I've done enough reading to form a paragraph I use these notes to make one. Does that make sense?
So my original plan is:
Write essay on partnership working
Main points:
Empowerment (one section )
Self awareness (another)
Partnership (another)

Then on 3 separate a4 sheets I title each piece with those and read about each subject making notes and references.

I hope this makes sense, it's hard to explain in words
I'm studying Criminology. You're lucky in that respect, we are expected to read at least one or two readings per module per week. I always start out trying to read what I have to because if the lecturers say I should do something I feel like Ii have to and I feel anxious if I don't but I end up cutting it down and just reading for the lectures where I know we're marked on that or if Ii will be asked questions. It takes so much time though. I might also be doing a wild English Lit and film module this year though.

It's a literature review, I think it's about 2000 words but before that there is the reading and planning, trying to find things that fit together, referencing throughout and at the end, reaching the word count and checking lots. When I go back to uni I will have a bit over two weeks o work on it, I've already done a little planning and reading but not enough. I've been told by the doctor to focus on one thing at a time but that's difficult when you have a load of different lectures, induction, meetings etc. and an impending deadline and you know there's lots to do for it, plus the fact that my concentration is rubbish and I do not want to stay past 4 (if I can even get to that most days!).

That makes sense, it's basically what I was originally doing but then I realised that I was spending way too long on reading and making notes. Then I started doing this strategy where I would do one or two readings, start an essay and find references around them but that was still taking ages. Now I've started making small brief bullet points about what a page is about and written the numbers so once I have more info together I can go back to those pages, read it again and write.
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm studying Criminology. You're lucky in that respect, we are expected to read at least one or two readings per module per week. I always start out trying to read what I have to because if the lecturers say I should do something I feel like Ii have to and I feel anxious if I don't but I end up cutting it down and just reading for the lectures where I know we're marked on that or if Ii will be asked questions. It takes so much time though. I might also be doing a wild English Lit and film module this year though.

It's a literature review, I think it's about 2000 words but before that there is the reading and planning, trying to find things that fit together, referencing throughout and at the end, reaching the word count and checking lots. When I go back to uni I will have a bit over two weeks o work on it, I've already done a little planning and reading but not enough. I've been told by the doctor to focus on one thing at a time but that's difficult when you have a load of different lectures, induction, meetings etc. and an impending deadline and you know there's lots to do for it, plus the fact that my concentration is rubbish and I do not want to stay past 4 (if I can even get to that most days!).

That makes sense, it's basically what I was originally doing but then I realised that I was spending way too long on reading and making notes. Then I started doing this strategy where I would do one or two readings, start an essay and find references around them but that was still taking ages. Now I've started making small brief bullet points about what a page is about and written the numbers so once I have more info together I can go back to those pages, read it again and write.
Ah that's a lot of reading! Perhaps you could talk to the tutors and ask them if there is another way for you to do it? Such as highlighting the most important sections for you to read or not giving you a hard time if you don't manage it. I think the university could help in so many different ways if you push them! At my uni they have something called a peer assisted learner who can give you more support.
I know some universities don't offer a lot of help for mental health but they owe you the services otherwise it's discrimination..
Its good that you're developing your study style it sounds like the reading is one of the biggest obstacles, so let's think about how to change that. Have you thought about finding a program in which you input text and it reads it back to you? That way you can listen to your work instead whilst going on a relaxing walk.
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Ah that's a lot of reading! Perhaps you could talk to the tutors and ask them if there is another way for you to do it? Such as highlighting the most important sections for you to read or not giving you a hard time if you don't manage it. I think the university could help in so many different ways if you push them! At my uni they have something called a peer assisted learner who can give you more support.
I know some universities don't offer a lot of help for mental health but they owe you the services otherwise it's discrimination..
Its good that you're developing your study style it sounds like the reading is one of the biggest obstacles, so let's think about how to change that. Have you thought about finding a program in which you input text and it reads it back to you? That way you can listen to your work instead whilst going on a relaxing walk.
The uni have given me some support but none of it cuts down the reading or makes them more lenient. I have a mentor who I am hoping to see soon but there are timetable issues that I am waiting to be sorted out first. The thing is that I still have to do the work and it's annoying when some people come in having read lots of the readings, other people read none and still get by although I don't know what grades they have got for it.

That would be great. I have something like that for my laptop but not on a portable device unfortunately. I can't really concentrate on it at home and I can't take it into uni annoyingly. Also some of my readings are in books rather than available electronically.

I'm hoping to get some study skills help so I don't know whether that will help, I just hate waiting and not knowing!
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The uni have given me some support but none of it cuts down the reading or makes them more lenient. I have a mentor who I am hoping to see soon but there are timetable issues that I am waiting to be sorted out first. The thing is that I still have to do the work and it's annoying when some people come in having read lots of the readings, other people read none and still get by although I don't know what grades they have got for it.

That would be great. I have something like that for my laptop but not on a portable device unfortunately. I can't really concentrate on it at home and I can't take it into uni annoyingly. Also some of my readings are in books rather than available electronically.

I'm hoping to get some study skills help so I don't know whether that will help, I just hate waiting and not knowing!
Thats good at least .
The people who do the most boast the most! Its best to ignore them ^^

Hmm hopefully you'll be able to find a way around that as listening is much easier than reading!

I'm sure study skills will help just keep trying new things until it sticks! Have you asked your course friends how they keep up with all the reading and assignments?
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Thats good at least .
The people who do the most boast the most! Its best to ignore them ^^

Hmm hopefully you'll be able to find a way around that as listening is much easier than reading!

I'm sure study skills will help just keep trying new things until it sticks! Have you asked your course friends how they keep up with all the reading and assignments?
Lol! Thanks Yeah I'm not sure what I can do about that... Thank you, I just want something that works straight away, hopefully when I go to work I'll just get it done but I don't know if I can get myself to concentrate all the time.

I don't really have any proper friends on my course that I can ask. I have friends on other courses, some of them with illnesses and they just take time off when they need to and others just seem to get through it like one seems to hardly work compared to me. She works close to the deadline and still does well and I don't think she has much reading but the readings she does have I don't know, she just gets through them quickly. With assignments she doesn't seem to need to reference as much as I do and it doesn't take her as long to write an essay, she writes a lot in each go. My course seems more theoretically intense than hers though.
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Lol! Thanks Yeah I'm not sure what I can do about that... Thank you, I just want something that works straight away, hopefully when I go to work I'll just get it done but I don't know if I can get myself to concentrate all the time.

I don't really have any proper friends on my course that I can ask. I have friends on other courses, some of them with illnesses and they just take time off when they need to and others just seem to get through it like one seems to hardly work compared to me. She works close to the deadline and still does well and I don't think she has much reading but the readings she does have I don't know, she just gets through them quickly. With assignments she doesn't seem to need to reference as much as I do and it doesn't take her as long to write an essay, she writes a lot in each go. My course seems more theoretically intense than hers though.
Ah ye do you think you have mastered skim reading? Thats something very useful!

I wonder if you could track down someone on your course with consistently good grades and ask them s few questions? I'm sure they'd be flattered and willing to help
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Ah ye do you think you have mastered skim reading? Thats something very useful!

I wonder if you could track down someone on your course with consistently good grades and ask them s few questions? I'm sure they'd be flattered and willing to help
I find it difficult after a while. My anxiety seems to have seriously affected my reading ability. I think I'll have to stick to the quick look at introduction, conclusion and a little skimming in between technique. Although I said to myself that I would make notes for revision for exams as I go through the course this year, I bet that probably won't happen though. Especially as I don't massively read throughout the year.

I'd feel a bit embarrassed about doing that but the study skills should hopefully help with my time and I'm trying a different method. It's a lot but at least by the end I'll hopefully have a degree and I've got some support so hopefully I'll get through it and do really well, even if it doesn't feel like I can! I think everyone that does well struggles, even if they don't say. Thank you for the advice though
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Hevachan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I find it difficult after a while. My anxiety seems to have seriously affected my reading ability. I think I'll have to stick to the quick look at introduction, conclusion and a little skimming in between technique. Although I said to myself that I would make notes for revision for exams as I go through the course this year, I bet that probably won't happen though. Especially as I don't massively read throughout the year.

I'd feel a bit embarrassed about doing that but the study skills should hopefully help with my time and I'm trying a different method. It's a lot but at least by the end I'll hopefully have a degree and I've got some support so hopefully I'll get through it and do really well, even if it doesn't feel like I can! I think everyone that does well struggles, even if they don't say. Thank you for the advice though
Ahh.. there are 3 warpy thoughts in that sentence! Predicting the future, judging yourself and black and white thinking.. even if you don't make notes for exams yet that doesn't matter, one thing at a time remember?

I'm sure you'll make it ^^ you're doing all the right things and thinking ahead, trying to solve the problem etc a lot of people would just give up when it became difficult so that shows you've got strength of character and thatd really important for recovering from anxiety
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Ahh.. there are 3 warpy thoughts in that sentence! Predicting the future, judging yourself and black and white thinking.. even if you don't make notes for exams yet that doesn't matter, one thing at a time remember?

I'm sure you'll make it ^^ you're doing all the right things and thinking ahead, trying to solve the problem etc a lot of people would just give up when it became difficult so that shows you've got strength of character and thatd really important for recovering from anxiety
Thank you, I just like to know everything even though I can't, I want to know that I will get everything done in restricted times and I'll do well and feel good and that I won't have to stress when it comes to revision, having to spend time getting the material together. I think that's why I keep thinking about things, I'm always finding possible problems because I don't know what's going to happen and I'm worried that it won't go how I want it to, especially from past experiences.

Aw thank you very much!

I wish it didn't constantly feel like there are obstacles but I guess I need to get over that, learn to stop worrying about everything and just get on with things somehow. It doesn't help that I'm always thinking about the things I want to do (including when I'm supposed to be working) and if not then the things I should be doing.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, I just like to know everything even though I can't, I want to know that I will get everything done in restricted times and I'll do well and feel good and that I won't have to stress when it comes to revision, having to spend time getting the material together. I think that's why I keep thinking about things, I'm always finding possible problems because I don't know what's going to happen and I'm worried that it won't go how I want it to, especially from past experiences.

Aw thank you very much!

I wish it didn't constantly feel like there are obstacles but I guess I need to get over that, learn to stop worrying about everything and just get on with things somehow. It doesn't help that I'm always thinking about the things I want to do (including when I'm supposed to be working) and if not then the things I should be doing.
Yeah I know that feeling, if only we could see the future! I believe in positive visualization though if you write down what you hope will happen e.g 'I will complete all my work on time without feeling stressed and I will get a good grade and have fun' then imagine the good feelings you'd get in that situation if you just practice this every day when you're lying in bed or before the start of an assignment it might help! I wish there was a fast acting solution :/ are you on any medication btw?
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(Original post by Hevachan)
Yeah I know that feeling, if only we could see the future! I believe in positive visualization though if you write down what you hope will happen e.g 'I will complete all my work on time without feeling stressed and I will get a good grade and have fun' then imagine the good feelings you'd get in that situation if you just practice this every day when you're lying in bed or before the start of an assignment it might help! I wish there was a fast acting solution :/ are you on any medication btw?
I'm glad it's not just me! Hmm that's an interesting idea, I will try it! I think part of me has just lost interest in doing lots of assignments, I wish I could just sit in a lecture and enjoy it and enjoy time outside of it rather than having to constantly work throughout the year, I mean even during the Christmas vacation I only get about 2 weeks without university work.

I'm trying to keep up some of my relaxation exercises again, I seriously feel like I've developed an inability to finish things/keep them up

Yeah it seems like medication would be a fast acting solution but it would not change the way I think. I think that if I can work out what causes all my different anxieties it might reduce them a bit and if not, hopefully I can work out a way to reduce it in everyday life. I've recently started a vitamin that can apparently help, at first I felt like I felt partly better but I'm not 100% sure, I guess it needs time
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