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I am a 22 year old male, will be dating a 16 year old female?! watch

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    I think it is weird that this is the situation but if everyone is fine with it then date only if she's at least 16. Maybe not have sex for another 2 years after that


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    Leave her alone and let her grow up, shes still a child in the eyes of tge law regardless of how mature you find her
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    Not good mate... still, you'll be put onto a register, that's nice. All the local parents will know where you live as well, might come in handy maybe?
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    she is a child with a child's mind....ewwww
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    The only person whp can tell the maturity level of the girl is him. They do seem to be treating it sensably and they havent done anything illegal. In the end, live and let live, if they want to try I dont see why not, its entirely legal. You are going to have to get used to the fact that people will find it creepy though. It is a very big age gap and chances are, youre going to find a big maturity gap.
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    I guarantee you she is not mature enough to compensate for an eight year age gap. She's FIFTEEN
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    I like how you've altered the ages in the title. Fact is your 23 and she's 15. You will be 24 when she is 16. Even when I was a first year at uni I'd have felt really bad about dating someone so much less life experience. It would just feel wrong being with someone who's not legally allowed to be in a pub or a bar...what do you suppose will be the lifestyle balance besides going to the mall for milkshakes and going to the cinema.

    Just no.....

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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    I guarantee you she is not mature enough to compensate for an eight year age gap. She's FIFTEEN
    Depends how immature the OP is XD But yeah itll probably be too big but I guess theyll find out soon enough.
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    When I started dating my parents always told me that I should stick to the 5 year rule. I like the 5 year rule and will encourage my children to follow it one day. Basically I date people a maximum of 5 years older than me until I graduate and then I start to let myself go a bit if someone takes my fancy.

    23 years old and 15 year old is a bit creepy but 16 years old and 21 is fine to me.
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    Her friends will want you to buy them alcohol.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Is she a High Church Anglican, by any chance?

    :congrats::congrats:
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    I think it's quite bad that people are being so judgmental towards the person that asked the question; even if you don't believe in what he is proposing, it does not give you the right to be so rude (frankly); he is only looking for honest advice as to what to do, and thought this would be a secure and open environment to do so. Please bear this in mind before answering.

    Now, back to the question, I'm going to be a typical A2 English student and analyse this methodically. Please bear in mind that these are just my thoughts - I haven't been in a situation like this so I'm basing it off what I would deem as appropriate arguments.

    PROS:
    1) From the way you described it, it seems that you are both committed to the idea of being together
    2) You are clearly good friends with her, which a good building block for romantic relationships IMO
    3) You have been open about it with her parents, so you don't have to go behind your relations' backs, and she will feel comfortable with your circumstance
    4) You seem to have taken a mature attitude towards the idea of the relationship by waiting for her to be 16, and have been patient
    5) Being in a relationship with someone more mature may help her feel safe with first experiences e.g. sex, because your post suggests that you are also very mature and would not abuse her innocence

    CONS:
    1) Although it may not seem so in a few years time, the age gap will seem HUGE at the minute. This is because in childhood development, because adolescents are still in a learning stage, each year means huge progressions in maturity levels. Even if she is mature for her age, this does not prevent this maturity issue from being a huge hindrance
    2) Given her circumstance, this may not be the right time for her to enter a serious relationship, especially due to (1). She is about to do her public exams, inevitably one of the most stressful periods in her life, and she honestly doesn't need relationship stress to add to that. Balancing revision and hobbies may make it very difficult for her to give you attention, and the last thing you want is to be a distraction, because these are some of the most important years in her life, especially if she wants to pursue higher education
    3) The fact that you originally stated you were 22 and she was 16, but then conflicted this by saying you are actually 23 and she won't be 16 till next year sends across mixed messages about your patience - you don't want to rush her into doing things she doesn't feel comfortable in doing; just because she is turning 16 it doesn't mean she will want a full blown relationship straight away now she's legal

    So while there may be seemingly more pros than cons, the severity of the cons mean that we should take them into greater consideration than the pros. Personally I would say to avoid entering a romantic relationship now, because I wouldn't say this is the right time for her due to her position in education and because of the vast difference in maturity. If I were her, I certainly would turn you down if you asked me in the same way you intend on asking her, not because I wouldn't care for you, but for the aforementioned reasons. However, this isn't to say you should break off contact with her. It's fine to stay in an amicable relationship with her, but I would just advise you to wait for a bit for her to fully mature and to get this period of her life over with. If you truly love her, you owe it to her to let her go for a bit so she can achieve what she wants career-wise. I would say maybe when she's at least 18 would it be OK to start considering it again.

    That's just my opinion, and I wish you luck with your situation.
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    A 6 year age gap isn't so bad....unless she's a kid.
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    Legal, consenting adults can do whatever they like. Once she turns 16, provided you're not in a position of authority, then it's up to you.

    It's quite possible that the maturity gap will be too great and it won't work out, but I have no idea what either of you are like, and it is not my place to judge.

    When I had just turned 17, I met my boyfriend who was almost 30. I don't think we would have been as well-matched if we had met even six months earlier (because finishing school and starting college gave me a kind of emotional/developmental growth spurt) but I know where you're coming from.

    If it's legal, if her parents are okay with it, and if you both treat each other well, then go for it
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    (Original post by Plumstone)
    Legal, consenting adults can do whatever they like. Once she turns 16, provided you're not in a position of authority, then it's up to you.

    It's quite possible that the maturity gap will be too great and it won't work out, but I have no idea what either of you are like, and it is not my place to judge.

    When I had just turned 17, I met my boyfriend who was almost 30. I don't think we would have been as well-matched if we had met even six months earlier (because finishing school and starting college gave me a kind of emotional/developmental growth spurt) but I know where you're coming from.

    If it's legal, if her parents are okay with it, and if you both treat each other well, then go for it
    30! Cringe
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    (Original post by Capsicle101)
    I think it's quite bad that people are being so judgmental towards the person that asked the question; even if you don't believe in what he is proposing, it does not give you the right to be so rude (frankly); he is only looking for honest advice as to what to do, and thought this would be a secure and open environment to do so. Please bear this in mind before answering.

    Now, back to the question, I'm going to be a typical A2 English student and analyse this methodically. Please bear in mind that these are just my thoughts - I haven't been in a situation like this so I'm basing it off what I would deem as appropriate arguments.

    PROS:
    1) From the way you described it, it seems that you are both committed to the idea of being together
    2) You are clearly good friends with her, which a good building block for romantic relationships IMO
    3) You have been open about it with her parents, so you don't have to go behind your relations' backs, and she will feel comfortable with your circumstance
    4) You seem to have taken a mature attitude towards the idea of the relationship by waiting for her to be 16, and have been patient
    5) Being in a relationship with someone more mature may help her feel safe with first experiences e.g. sex, because your post suggests that you are also very mature and would not abuse her innocence

    CONS:
    1) Although it may not seem so in a few years time, the age gap will seem HUGE at the minute. This is because in childhood development, because adolescents are still in a learning stage, each year means huge progressions in maturity levels. Even if she is mature for her age, this does not prevent this maturity issue from being a huge hindrance
    2) Given her circumstance, this may not be the right time for her to enter a serious relationship, especially due to (1). She is about to do her public exams, inevitably one of the most stressful periods in her life, and she honestly doesn't need relationship stress to add to that. Balancing revision and hobbies may make it very difficult for her to give you attention, and the last thing you want is to be a distraction, because these are some of the most important years in her life, especially if she wants to pursue higher education
    3) The fact that you originally stated you were 22 and she was 16, but then conflicted this by saying you are actually 23 and she won't be 16 till next year sends across mixed messages about your patience - you don't want to rush her into doing things she doesn't feel comfortable in doing; just because she is turning 16 it doesn't mean she will want a full blown relationship straight away now she's legal

    So while there may be seemingly more pros than cons, the severity of the cons mean that we should take them into greater consideration than the pros. Personally I would say to avoid entering a romantic relationship now, because I wouldn't say this is the right time for her due to her position in education and because of the vast difference in maturity. If I were her, I certainly would turn you down if you asked me in the same way you intend on asking her, not because I wouldn't care for you, but for the aforementioned reasons. However, this isn't to say you should break off contact with her. It's fine to stay in an amicable relationship with her, but I would just advise you to wait for a bit for her to fully mature and to get this period of her life over with. If you truly love her, you owe it to her to let her go for a bit so she can achieve what she wants career-wise. I would say maybe when she's at least 18 would it be OK to start considering it again.

    That's just my opinion, and I wish you luck with your situation.
    I don't think anyone's being overly judgmental here. He asked for opinions on the matter, which is what he's getting
    OP and his girlfriend aren't having sex, but if their relationship is sexual in any way (i.e oral sex etc) then that will be counted as child abuse in the eyes of the law (as far as I know).
    Refer to OP's original post- he asked for opinions, not advice:

    (Original post by Bg63)
    Hello allI am a male, 23 years old and have great feelings for a 15 year old female. We love each other, she is very mature for her age that's for sure! That's the main reason I like her.Her parents are fine that we love each other, we won't be getting into a relationship till she turns 16 in April next year.No, we aren't having sex, we are not rushing the relationship at all.Now, I'd like to know of your thoughts and if anyone on here has been in a similar situation?Cheers
    I think the iffiness comes from the fact that she is 15. Once she turns 16, I don't think anybody will have much of a problem with it at all.
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    Isn't this considered grooming in the eyes of the law? :/
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    Her dad should be had up in court for dereliction of duty..
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    (Original post by Zarek)
    Her dad should be had up in court for dereliction of duty..
    My thoughts exactly...(starts at 0:35)
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    (Original post by Bg63)
    Hello all

    I am a male, 23 years old and have great feelings for a 15 year old female. We love each other, she is very mature for her age that's for sure! That's the main reason I like her.
    Her parents are fine that we love each other, we won't be getting into a relationship till she turns 16 in April next year.
    No, we aren't having sex, we are not rushing the relationship at all.
    Now, I'd like to know of your thoughts and if anyone on here has been in a similar situation?

    Cheers
    So basically you're a paedophile. Seek help.
 
 
 
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