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If you could write your personal statement totally honestly, what would you say? watch

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    (Original post by VannR)
    Exactly what it was that I said in my personal statement. Why would you make things up?

    EDIT: I see that a lot of people would have added a load of personal information into their PS. Talking about this stuff is "telling the truth", but I don't see why it is relevant for a PS.
    That's the joke.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    On the contrary, that's exactly what they taught us to do, and that's exactly what I wanted them to teach me when I went to uni.

    What else would they teach on a philosophy course?
    Unfortunately they won't. Just learning how to think would take up most of your time that you wouldn't have time learning anything else.
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    Dear Sir/Ma'am

    It was just banter.

    Yours Sincerely, Adam.
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    "I'm extremely desperate and I'm trying to phrase this PS so it doesn't sound like 50% begging and crying, and 50% bull**** bragging. So, here we go.

    I've had a rubbish past three years and frankly I would quite like something to work in my favour for once, so if you could just look at my GCSE grades and see how fabulous a student I used to be, that'd be grand. I'm clearly dedicated to the course - I've done a ****-ton of reading on it and extracurricular activities based around it - so I'm not sure what more you want from me other than for me to bend over and kiss my ass. Everyone in my academic reference is going to say what a wonderful student I am and how I am so pleasant to have around. The truth is, I hate A Levels. I hate what I'm doing, I hate where I'm living, I can't stand to stay at home any longer, I need a job (and apparently I'm underqualified for Macky D's, so degrees - here I come!), and I don't really know what to do with my life beyond this one very specific career I've chosen, so if I don't get an offer chances are I will probably sit rocking back and forth in my room questioning my existence and wondering why I'm putting myself through the stress and hell that is A2s when clearly I do not have the mental capacity for it.

    Thank you very much for your time. I was unsure whether you'd appreciate sophisticated *******s, or a touch of humour, so decided to throw in some sarcasm and hard-hitting truths to spice things up a little.

    Please, please take me. I'm so very desperate and I'm doing this all on my own because my college has never had a student achieve A grades at A2 and frankly don't seem to know what on earth they're doing. Have pity on me, I'm doing my best. Your buddy Scott

    PS. I will bring some diversity to your institution. If nothing else, consider me for that. Think of the Stonewall ratings!!!

    PS. PS. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since starting GCSE. Sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm exhausted."
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    Writing CVs/job applications is the worst :hide: I feel your pain :hugs:

    Companies always use loads of jargon as well on their job descriptions that I usually have no idea what they're on about.

    "Please give me the job, I need money and I possibly won't be completely **** at it :argh:"
    :yep: Exactly this.

    Oh and "I'm way, way better than anyone else applying, isn't that completely obvious to a freakin' five year old?".
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    'Let's cut the pretence: I've got no great reason to study the subject I'm applying for and you've got no great reason to be reading this other than to collect your paycheck at the end of the month. I've got the grades, I'm a reasonably punctual student with a clean criminal record, and I've saved you a lot of time that you would've otherwise spent reading an essay that can be summarised as 'look at me, mummy, I'm special.' So let's do both of us a favour and let me in, eh? '
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    (Original post by Scitty)
    "I'm extremely desperate and I'm trying to phrase this PS so it doesn't sound like 50% begging and crying, and 50% bull**** bragging. So, here we go.

    I've had a rubbish past three years and frankly I would quite like something to work in my favour for once, so if you could just look at my GCSE grades and see how fabulous a student I used to be, that'd be grand. I'm clearly dedicated to the course - I've done a ****-ton of reading on it and extracurricular activities based around it - so I'm not sure what more you want from me other than for me to bend over and kiss my ass. Everyone in my academic reference is going to say what a wonderful student I am and how I am so pleasant to have around. The truth is, I hate A Levels. I hate what I'm doing, I hate where I'm living, I can't stand to stay at home any longer, I need a job (and apparently I'm underqualified for Macky D's, so degrees - here I come!), and I don't really know what to do with my life beyond this one very specific career I've chosen, so if I don't get an offer chances are I will probably sit rocking back and forth in my room questioning my existence and wondering why I'm putting myself through the stress and hell that is A2s when clearly I do not have the mental capacity for it.

    Thank you very much for your time. I was unsure whether you'd appreciate sophisticated *******s, or a touch of humour, so decided to throw in some sarcasm and hard-hitting truths to spice things up a little.

    Please, please take me. I'm so very desperate and I'm doing this all on my own because my college has never had a student achieve A grades at A2 and frankly don't seem to know what on earth they're doing. Have pity on me, I'm doing my best. Your buddy Scott

    PS. I will bring some diversity to your institution. If nothing else, consider me for that. Think of the Stonewall ratings!!!

    PS. PS. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since starting GCSE. Sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm exhausted."
    Haha I love that!
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    'Why am I interested in biochemistry? Because it's interesting to me. You keep asking me this, teachers keep asking me this, family keep asking me this. Is there actually another answer??? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, genuinely curious here. Everyone is interested in their subject because it's interesting to them. Frankly you should come up with some better questions.'
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    (Original post by lucymellor)
    'Why am I interested in biochemistry? Because it's interesting to me. You keep asking me this, teachers keep asking me this, family keep asking me this. Is there actually another answer??? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, genuinely curious here. Everyone is interested in their subject because it's interesting to them. Frankly you should come up with some better questions.'
    :laugh: Even better is when they don't want you to put the obvious answer of "I've always loved and excelled at science, why the **** would I do a subject I don't like and never achieve anything in??? Next question."
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    (Original post by Scitty)
    :laugh: Even better is when they don't want you to put the obvious answer of "I've always loved and excelled at science, why the **** would I do a subject I don't like and never achieve anything in??? Next question."
    My favourite was when our teacher gave us a list of buzzwords that universities apparently hate so we couldn't use, then told us to 'show your passion for the subject without using the words: passion, love, enthusiasm, always wanted to and always been my favourite'
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    (Original post by Mehrdad jafari)
    Unfortunately they won't. Just learning how to think would take up most of your time that you wouldn't have time learning anything else.
    It is a shame that you seem unable to understand what I'm saying
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    (Original post by lucymellor)
    My favourite was when our teacher gave us a list of buzzwords that universities apparently hate so we couldn't use, then told us to 'show your passion for the subject without using the words: passion, love, enthusiasm, always wanted to and always been my favourite'
    Exactly. But apparently you also shouldn't use phrases you wouldn't use in normal conversation either, which rules out every other phrase, because how are universities to know whether or not you are the sort to say "it piqued my interest verily!" to your mates? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    Mind you, the head of sixth form at my college suggested I use more scientific terms in my PS since I was applying for a science course. My favourite bit will always be when she said I should refer to myself as being in my "embryonic state" when it came to my potential to develop further. SMH, honestly.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    It is a shame that you seem unable to understand what I'm saying
    Hmm, unless somebody else wrote your first post, I guess I misunderstood you then
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    (Original post by Scitty)
    My favourite bit will always be when she said I should refer to myself as being in my "embryonic state" when it came to my potential to develop further. SMH, honestly.
    :lol: :lol: :lol: That gave me a good laugh
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    So I want to go university because I'm middle class and it's expected of me and my parents would totally freak out if I didn't. People will thinks less of me if I go through life without a degree.

    I want to do this particular degree because it's a solid traditional subject which people won't look down on. I don't know what job I will end up doing, but I imagine my colleagues will all have degrees so I should too.

    Finally, this personal statement is a waste of my time and yours. Are you really sitting there agonising over which of two students to give your last remaining offer to based on the bollox they write here? Or are you going to put their grades into an algorithm which will tell you whether they get an offer?

    PS: Since an early age I have always had a passion for [insert subject]...
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    Dear whatever uni gives a **** to read this,

    Why have I applied for politics? God knows. I don't even need a political degree to become a politician. Sigh. This is probably a waste of my time, but hey, if you offer me a bursary or two, I'd be happy to take it! (Also my grammar school expected me to apply so I did. As did my family. As did myself).

    Then again, the last year has been ****ing horrendous for me, so a chance to get out of my ****ty country and away from the memories will do me the world of good.

    Sincerely,

    Airmed

    PS, By the way, I am actually good at my subject. Please don't reject me. *hands over a bribe*
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    i would write l like pizza and chill and i dont like to pay bills
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. Not for tuition fees anyway. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. So please accept me into <insert your uni here>.
    PRSOM
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    Since the fetal stages of my life I've wanted to care for people. I wanna take care of other ppl, although I can't really take care of myself. the thought of being responsible potentially for the quality of someones life scares me and strangely excites me at the same time, maybe i'm a psychopath or somethin idk. anyway, i think u should let me into uni bc i'll pay you in student loans and everyone wants a hot (mess of a) nurse.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    ps. i'm not hot, but seriously, I will pay you.
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    "The world scares me. Please accept me so I can hide in libraries forever."
 
 
 
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