Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

I'm not attracted to and avoid so-called 'alpha' males watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Jared44)
    I'm pretty sure most Alpha males don't go on The Student Room.
    You couldn't tell them that though
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jared44)
    You're missing the point.
    I know, there's loads at my uni.
    But there are much more people that don't go on thestudentroom, than those who do.
    is there any way you can prove that?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My point was actual confidence is different to the false confidence that these 'alphas' display. But for the record my boyfriend is quite shy and has more of what I call a 'quiet confidence'. He has also had to work on his social skills and make a big effort and can be a bit awkward sometimes, he especially was around me when he first met me. But I found it cute and flattering.

    And I didn't say most women do chase these men. I said we are accused so often of chasing the bad boys and ignoring the nice guys. And I hope that for the women that do chase these men that they stop setting themselves up for failure. I know they definitely don't have as many women lining up for them as they like to think.
    Okay, I just thought that you implied that most women go for these types because you said many men complain about them going for these types, but I see your point.

    In answer to your post's question I don't feel the need to act 'Alpha' to attract women because I don't think the kind of personality which you were describing is attractive to women, or the majority of people in general for that matter. I know girls like confidence but I never considered that having confidence means you have to be egocentric or misogynistic.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My point was to say that a man can be driven to success through passion rather than the love of women. These 'alphas' are only interested in success to get women.
    I think it's pretty rare for anyone to be so shallow that their sole aim in life it to get laid a bunch of times, even if that's what they act like. A lot of people who act like that are probably deeply unhappy people.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Flying Lotus)
    is there any way you can prove that?
    There are 8 billion people on the planet.
    I can assure you more than 4 billion don't come on here.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jared44)
    There are 8 billion people on the planet.
    I can assure you more than 4 billion don't come on here.
    4 billion? Why are you pulling statistics out of your behind for haha. TSR has over a million active/non active users. I reckon more than a good handful are so called 'alpha types'.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No he's not a rugby player nor is he built like one. He is blonde, 5'11", lovely eyes, medium build just a pretty average guy. But what drew me to him was his personality he is an altruistic, genuine, and fun person I would not say he gets a lot of female attention.
    What sort of male do you think would garner a lot of female attention?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Anyone else think that the op is most likely a guy?

    Anyway, there's a lot of confusion over what an "alpha" really is. In fact you could argue that it doesn't really exist anymore in today's society. People think it's the biggest or toughest guy, or the guy who sleeps with the most women. But that simply isn't true. It's all about being a leader. After all Alpha basically means the individual with the highest rank or the most power within a community.

    So lets take a small group of friends. One of them could clearly be the most dominant and be the leader of that group, or the "alpha". However, put him in another group, at work for instance and is he still an alpha male? When he has to do whatever his boss tells him to?

    Imo an alpha would be someone who leads and answers to no one. They are truly dominant. For example the famous conquerors such as Ghengis Khan or Alexander the Great etc.

    Recent examples might include Putin, Pablo Escobar.. whoever else. Not exactly the protein shake drinking, vest wearing self proclaimed "playboys" that most people seem to regard as alphas.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Agree it's a turn off. Actually pretty annoying tbh.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    It's just BS; self-conscious, weird, Americanized sexual politics. To be honest I have never paid any attention to it, I find these labels vaguely odd.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IamJacksContempt)
    Anyone else think that the op is most likely a guy?

    Anyway, there's a lot of confusion over what an "alpha" really is. In fact you could argue that it doesn't really exist anymore in today's society. People think it's the biggest or toughest guy, or the guy who sleeps with the most women. But that simply isn't true. It's all about being a leader. After all Alpha basically means the individual with the highest rank or the most power within a community.

    So lets take a small group of friends. One of them could clearly be the most dominant and be the leader of that group, or the "alpha". However, put him in another group, at work for instance and is he still an alpha male? When he has to do whatever his boss tells him to?

    Imo an alpha would be someone who leads and answers to no one. They are truly dominant. For example the famous conquerors such as Ghengis Khan or Alexander the Great etc.

    Recent examples might include Putin, Pablo Escobar.. whoever else. Not exactly the protein shake drinking, vest wearing self proclaimed "playboys" that most people seem to regard as alphas.
    This is not what leadership is about. It's not just about telling people what to do and them obeying out of fear
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    There are no such things as alpha males.

    The pathetic guys who try it on with you are called losers. Its no wonder you're not attracted to them, no-one is.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Flying Lotus)
    This is not what leadership is about. It's not just about telling people what to do and them obeying out of fear
    I never said that's what leadership was. You can lead without being an alpha but you can't be an alpha without leading. Leadership itself isn't simply telling people what to do and them blindly obeying. However being an alpha does involve people obeying out of fear. (In the animal sense anyway)
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    There are no such things as alpha males.

    The pathetic guys who try it on with you are called losers. Its no wonder you're not attracted to them, no-one is.
    Tbh most women in one way or another want control. I've noticed that men who sort of courtier them(mild, subtle sycophancy) and basically defer to their social power, often whilst being a bit ****ty to other guys, can be successful. But it could hardly be described as dominant. Women are dominant.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by redferry)
    I kindof am tbh - I definitely go for shy, under-confident guys. If you've ever watched Friday night lights, Matt Saracen is pretty much my ideal of a male personality.

    I think it's fairly common for extroverted confident women - most of my friendship group are the same :/
    non one goes for socially crippled defects though
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IamJacksContempt)
    I never said that's what leadership was. You can lead without being an alpha but you can't be an alpha without leading. Leadership itself isn't simply telling people what to do and them blindly obeying. However being an alpha does involve people obeying out of fear. (In the animal sense anyway)
    In the animal kingdom, the Alpha Males of the pack/herd/whatever are frequently challenged for dominance, and eventually, lose. I don't think 'alpha' status is a permanent state of being.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Flying Lotus)
    In the animal kingdom, the Alpha Males of the pack/herd/whatever are frequently challenged for dominance, and eventually, lose. I don't think 'alpha' status is a permanent state of being.
    Again, no one claimed it was...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IamJacksContempt)
    Again, no one claimed it was...
    I didn't say anybody made that claim, hence why I wrote 'I don't think'. It was my opinion.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Anyone who seriously believes their an "alpha" are just cocky idiots.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    non one goes for socially crippled defects though
    This may sound weird but I dig shy guys who are not that popular with women. I hate competition since I will be near the bottom of the pack .

    Only criteria? Good chemistry, and intelligent. Okay, make that two.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 23, 2015
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.