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    (Original post by XxHolly96xX)
    well i dont know...what is your social life like?
    I have recently relocated. So, currently there are a few (new) friends that I see often, and we do get together frequently.
    I have few classes at uni. My uni workload is more individual projects.
    I'm also learning a new language, so I meet some classmates every week, but I'm not interested in asking any of them out! However I don't have any problem having conversation with any of them.
    Any other outdoor activity that I do, I do it alone; short travels, going to gigs, going to a new restaurant, whatever.

    It occurs to me that I want to go and talk to a girl, but it would just seem so awkward trying to come up with some ridiculous conversation, and I'm afraid the whole situation might be just so unnatural and awkward for both of us that I don't even approach.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have recently relocated. So, currently there are a few (new) friends that I see often, and we do get together frequently.
    I have few classes at uni. My uni workload is more individual projects.
    I'm also learning a new language, so I meet some classmates every week, but I'm not interested in asking any of them out! However I don't have any problem having conversation with any of them.
    Any other outdoor activity that I do, I do it alone; short travels, going to gigs, going to a new restaurant, whatever.

    It occurs to me that I want to go and talk to a girl, but it would just seem so awkward trying to come up with some ridiculous conversation, and I'm afraid the whole situation might be just so unnatural and awkward for both of us that I don't even approach.
    Uni is a great place to meet a potential gf! dont worry about what you are going to talk about to a girl just let it flow otherwise it will sounds staged and fake, just say hey and maybe ask what theyre studying
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    (Original post by selfteaching)
    then you misunderstood me

    asking girls out doesn't mean they will say yes, so you need to actually expose yourself to the situation and not be afraid to approach.
    then you will get a mixture of rejections/ acceptances

    ...so if you aren't scared of being rejected, what's holding you back from asking.
    I always see people/girls (who don't know me) doing their own business. I'm afraid the whole situation might be just so awkward, just going up to a stranger and asking her out. Is that what guys do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I always see people/girls (who don't know me) doing their own business. I'm afraid the whole situation might be just so awkward, just going up to a stranger and asking her out. Is that what guys do?
    yeah pretty much, or in more social situations like parties/clubs where mostly it's drunk courage

    heck girls even get asked out online
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    (Original post by XxHolly96xX)
    Uni is a great place to meet a potential gf! dont worry about what you are going to talk about to a girl just let it flow otherwise it will sounds staged and fake, just say hey and maybe ask what theyre studying
    I just can't go up to her and start talking when everyone around us is quiet and studying and she's focused on her own work. I don't think any guy does that.
    I could hope for a natural conversation, but wouldn't it be weird if I suddenly ask her out?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just can't go up to her and start talking when everyone around us is quiet and studying and she's focused on her own work. I don't think any guy does that.
    I could hope for a natural conversation, but wouldn't it be weird if I suddenly ask her out?
    or go and sit like next to her or like the same table or whatever and then start talking then it wont seem like you've just gone up to her and started talking, just be more confident
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    (Original post by selfteaching)
    yeah pretty much, or in more social situations like parties/clubs where mostly it's drunk courage

    heck girls even get asked out online
    I think you could ask a girl out in a party, but when I meet people, it's usually in small gatherings of just the few of us friends.

    Would you ask a girl you just met out outside party/club? It would just mean "hey, I think you're attractive. Would you go out with me?" which is actually the truth! but I just think a girl would find it weird if a guy does that.
    Why do I never see people doing that?
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    (Original post by XxHolly96xX)
    or go and sit like next to her or like the same table or whatever and then start talking then it wont seem like you've just gone up to her and started talking, just be more confident
    Does anyone actually do that? I always just see people minding their own business.
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    Personally I'd find it weird if a guy asked me out when i first met him.. I think you should just start talking to girls first and get to know them, and then you can ask them on a date
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone actually do that? I always just see people minding their own business.
    well i dont know , depends if you like them enough i suppose
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    Go out to pubs with mates frequented by Uni girls, have a drink, and your inhibitions will drop.
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    (Original post by XxHolly96xX)
    well i dont know , depends if you like them enough i suppose
    Well, I do find some girls attractive and I would really like to ask them out and get to know them. But in library, everyone is just quiet and minding their own business.That's the whole problem. I can't find a good situation/setting to ask them out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in early twenties, I have never asked a girl out, and I don't know how other guys do it.
    Every day I see some girls at university or elsewhere that I would like to ask out, but... do other guys just go and talk to girls they have just met? Would it not be weird? Some guy approaching a girl, making small talk, then asking her out?
    I don't think this is the way it works, I don't see other guys doing it, it certainly is not comfortable, but then, I can't see any other way.
    How did others met their bf/gf?

    Is it the case with most people that the guy gets to know the girl and after some time asks her out? It seems like a good way, except it doesn't work, since I don't see many people on a regular basis to get to know them. Even if I did, wouldn't it severely limit your dating pool, just dating girls you meet regularly?
    I'm not often at parties, and when we get together it's usually a small gathering of friends. Meeting a girl through other friends hasn't happened either.

    I'm not good at coming up with topics for conversation, but I don't have a problem talking to people I see in the few classes that I have. I honestly don't know in what situation asking a girl out can happen. And it's really bothering me, since I see girls every day in library, at university, outside on the street, everywhere! that I would like to ask out, but I just can't think of a comfortable, natural way of doing it.

    Also, imagine I've asked a girl out. If the first date goes well, nor bad neither excellent, I think we're supposed to meet again (isn't that what the other person expects after an OK/good first date?), and then meet again, and then become bf/gf? And then I will forever be together with the first person I ever dated!
    You're in your early 20s, and you haven't observed how other people get together?

    You get to know as many girls as you can through friends, through societies, through work, through chatting to them in pubs.

    A few times a week, you meet a different one in a bar or nightclub - might be the same night you met them. You then take them home and sleep with them. You then arrange a date.

    Repeat this process until you find one you really get on with well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, I do find some girls attractive and I would really like to ask them out and get to know them. But in library, everyone is just quiet and minding their own business.That's the whole problem. I can't find a good situation/setting to ask them out.
    Don't try to talk to girls in the library ffs. People are there to work, not be chatted up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think you could ask a girl out in a party, but when I meet people, it's usually in small gatherings of just the few of us friends.

    Would you ask a girl you just met out outside party/club? It would just mean "hey, I think you're attractive. Would you go out with me?" which is actually the truth! but I just think a girl would find it weird if a guy does that.
    Why do I never see people doing that?
    No-one EVER says anything like "would you go out with me?". You're not 8 years old.

    You enquire what they're doing that Friday night. You then make your friends go to the same place. You then make out with them and then take them home.
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    (Original post by Kurtle)
    Go out to pubs with mates frequented by Uni girls, have a drink, and your inhibitions will drop.
    It's not applicable to me. I have just recently started a master's degree in a different uni than my bachelor's.
    Would it be weird if I go alone? Weird or not, I'm pretty sure what will happen is that I will just have my drink and then leave, and not approach anyone. Well, maybe if I see a girl alone, but I don't think girls would go alone to pubs, and I just won't be able to approach them in a group.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not applicable to me. I have just recently started a master's degree in a different uni than my bachelor's.
    Would it be weird if I go alone? Weird or not, I'm pretty sure what will happen is that I will just have my drink and then leave, and not approach anyone. Well, maybe if I see a girl alone, but I don't think girls would go alone to pubs, and I just won't be able to approach them in a group.
    you can go to the pub alone, as long as you talk to people. Sit at the bar and chat to the barman. I often get chatting to girls almost by accident. They often say hello when they come up and order a drink.

    But its best to go with friends, really. Why don't you make some friends quickly?
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    (Original post by starstuff)
    Personally I'd find it weird if a guy asked me out when i first met him.. I think you should just start talking to girls first and get to know them, and then you can ask them on a date
    How are you supposed to get to know them if you don't meet them regularly?
    Isn't getting-to-know supposed to happen during dates?
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    You get to know as many girls as you can through friends, through societies, through work, through chatting to them in pubs.
    This is too vague "get to know as many girls as you can"
    I've described my daily life in one of the above posts. If I had the opportunities to get to know, or just meet, more girls, I wouldn't have any problem.
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    A few times a week, you meet a different one in a bar or nightclub - might be the same night you met them.
    ?

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    No-one EVER says anything like "would you go out with me?". You're not 8 years old.You enquire what they're doing that Friday night. You then make your friends go to the same place. You then make out with them and then take them home.
    Why with friends?
    I thought you were about to say ask what they are doing that Friday, and if nothing, arrange an activity together.
    I really think this is much more difficult and definitely not as easy as "just meet them and take them home".
    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    you can go to the pub alone, as long as you talk to people. Sit at the bar and chat to the barman. I often get chatting to girls almost by accident. They often say hello when they come up and order a drink.But its best to go with friends, really. Why don't you make some friends quickly?
    I have made a few friends, but some of them have girlfriends, and not all of them go to pub.
    Admittedly, I'm not great at initiating small talk.
    You would just ask for her number after chatting a bit?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How are you supposed to get to know them if you don't meet them regularly?
    Isn't getting-to-know supposed to happen during dates?
    Well.. You gotta get a feel for their personality first or the date could be horribly awkward, especially if you have nothing in common
 
 
 
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