Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Why wouldn't you date a transgender person? watch

    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    So if you fell in love with someone and they then told you they were trans, you'd break up with them?
    Honestly were that to happen, and presuming it was a long term relationship so that I was at a stage where I was in love, I would be more hurt that they left it so long to tell me this than the actual fact that they were.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    But if they look as if they were born a lady then what difference does it make?
    Because they're not. Nothing against trans people. But imo, you are what you're born as, a man having surgery to be a woman is still a man to me. They even identify as a transgender woman... However, I also think it depends on sexuality. If I was bisexual, then It probably wouldn't bother me
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zuki)
    I'd prefer my lady to be born a lady...preferences and all
    Ladies are not born; they are earned.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I just can't feel attracted to women knowing they've were born men.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Suppose that I can never accept a child who is not truly ours, and want to have a child which resembles my spouse and myself.
    So you wouldn't even consider a cis female who was infertile? What if you suddenly were infertile, would you never want a child?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Bupdeeboowah)
    Ladies are not born; they are earned.
    Very true
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eux)
    Honestly were that to happen, and presuming it was a long term relationship so that I was at a stage where I was in love, I would be more hurt that they left it so long to tell me this than the actual fact that they were.
    But don't you understand, there's so much transphobia, it makes sense that one would wait until they were in a long term, solid relationship till they came out.

    But the question is, would you leave them if you truly loved them? What does their being trans change?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zuki)
    Because they're not. Nothing against trans people. But imo, you are what you're born as, a man having surgery to be a woman is still a man to me. They even identify as a transgender woman... However, I also think it depends on sexuality. If I was bisexual, then It probably wouldn't bother me
    So what if you fell for a trans woman?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by okey)
    I just can't feel attracted to women knowing they've were born men.
    It's not always so obvious.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    It's not always so obvious.
    But if I knew then I would lose attraction to them. I know this because I can't feel attracted to transgender people right now, no matter how physically attractive they appear
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Personally I just don't like the idea of someone imitating the opposite sex because I believe that if you are born a man then you are a man. Also, I want to be able to have children that carry my genes and the genes of my wife, so I can only date a real woman.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zuki)
    Because they're not. Nothing against trans people. But imo, you are what you're born as, a man having surgery to be a woman is still a man to me. They even identify as a transgender woman... However, I also think it depends on sexuality. If I was bisexual, then It probably wouldn't bother me
    Trust me, I've known some trans-women in the past who you wouldn't think, even for a second, weren't genetic women. Unless they told you then there is no way in hell you'd even suspect anything.

    To use an example of a friend of mine.

    She was born male, outwardly identified as female from the age of 7 onwards, was on hormone therapy at 11 so didn't get any of the hormones men do when they go through puberty, thanks to being on hormones since such a young age she has very feminine facial features, a proper female figure, grew good sized breasts through puberty, has an extremely feminine voice, and has since had SRS so has a fully functional vagina.

    So you have somebody who looks female, sounds female, has the same hormone levels as a female, is sexually female, is surrounded by friends who almost entirely are unaware that she is transgender (the only people who know are people she has told) and on all legal documentation is shown as female.

    Which part of that makes her a man?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by okey)
    But if I knew then I would lose attraction to them. I know this because I can't feel attracted to transgender people right now, no matter how physically attractive they appear
    So you're telling me if you fell for a woman and found her attractive you'd lose all love and attraction for her is she's trans?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    But don't you understand, there's so much transphobia, it makes sense that one would wait until they were in a long term, solid relationship till they came out.

    But the question is, would you leave them if you truly loved them? What does their being trans change?
    I guess I wouldn't know how i would react unless I experience that situation myself, so I don't know if I would leave them. I would feel as if everything in the relationship so far would have been a lie, or at the very least a cover up of the truth, and personally, that is one thing that would absolutely break me, to know that even if I had been entirely honest and up front before, they hadn't
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Phoebe Buffay)
    Because it would be weird. I like to date men. A woman who has 'transitioned' is not a man.
    date me then aye aye

    i agree
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    So you're telling me if you fell for a woman and found her attractive you'd lose all love and attraction for her is she's trans?
    I'd lose physical attraction, which is an important part of a relationship so the relationship would be over
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Alrounder79)
    So you wouldn't even consider a cis female who was infertile? What if you suddenly were infertile, would you never want a child?
    Yes. While it's all nice to say that one should be with another person whom one loves, my spouse's fertility and the want for biological children is still a major consideration, and ignoring it at the outset of the relationship will only just lead on to future frustration and discontent.

    If I were suddenly infertile, then I can't really complain if people refuse to enter into a relationship with me for the exact reasons I mentioned. Nor would I think it be possible for me to wholeheartedly accept an adopted/surrogate baby as my child.

    Yes, I am a cold-hearted person, but I am completely at peace with that.
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    They are an actual woman. They've always felt like a woman.

    They always were a woman, just weren't born as one(physically)
    Biologically? You're always what your born biologically technically right?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by L'absurde)
    You could have children through an egg/sperm donor, surrogacy or adoption.
    Too much effort cost hassle. Just move on and find someone from the 99.999% of the population who dont need this
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zuki)
    I'd prefer my lady to be born a lady...preferences and all
    (Original post by Mentally)
    You're standards are too high
    Amen, you need to check your privileges
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 30, 2015
Poll
Are you going to a festival?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.