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Overheard at uni watch

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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    And next time you phone a University, bear in mind that these are the sort of idiots that Admissions staff deal with : http://studentsarestupid.tumblr.com/
    You've actually made my night.
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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    And next time you phone a University, bear in mind that these are the sort of idiots that Admissions staff deal with : http://studentsarestupid.tumblr.com/
    Mmm... looking at the dates one or two of those sound like simple misunderstandings.

    Student: *strong accent* Hello. I am from Cyprus. I have no qualifications. I am mature man. I come to university? Accomodation?
    University: Sorry, are you applying or looking for accomodation.
    Student: I want house so I can live in UK. Do I need to be university to work in UK?
    University: Do you want to study at [University Name]?
    Student: What is this study?
    Student's Father: Do you need to know English to study a Masters at London Met? My son would like to come here.
    University: He will need to be near fluent.
    Student's Father: Why? I don't understand. He can study English while doing the course.
    University: But he needs to know English to understand the course as the whole course it taught in English.
    Student's Father: Why?
    applicant think 'university' is the English word for 'visa shop'
    admission department thinks they're in the business of teaching students
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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    And next time you phone a University, bear in mind that these are the sort of idiots that Admissions staff deal with : http://studentsarestupid.tumblr.com/
    To be fair, I think the career advisor had a point re the Psychology A level.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    "Is the tap water drinkable"

    -Yours truly
    That's a reasonable question. Some drinking water around the country is absolutely vile!
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    (Original post by Snufkin)
    To be fair, I think the career advisor had a point re the Psychology A level.
    Yeah, I agree (as a psychology lecturer). Which universities have psych A level as a requirement? Many recommend one or more sciences, sometimes including psychology.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    "Is the tap water drinkable"

    -Yours truly
    Always a good question to ask. I've been drinking water from the gym only to recently discover it's not drinking water :afraid:
    (Original post by joostan)
    From a probability lecturer whose brain moves too fast for his tongue, on the discussion of quantification of surprise:
    "If I roll a dice and I get a heads, is this a surprising event?"

    From the same lecturer:
    "This is a table of the frequencies of words used in Charles Dickens' Origin of Species."

    And my personal favourite, again from the same guy:
    "Now we assume n is infinity. Hmmm... that might not be too realistic... [thinks] ok, so a realistic value for n might be about 40... But 40 is quite close to infinity."
    I want to meet this guy, he sounds wonderful.
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    Not in uni, but in high school.

    The teacher goes there was an earthquake in California and three people were hurt.

    Student: Well it is there fault then.

    Teacher: How is it there fault?
    Student: They shouldn't have been driving if there was an earthquake there.

    Teacher: But how were they to know an where an earthquake was going to happen.

    Student: I dont know.
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    (Original post by Mihael_Keehl)
    Student: They shouldn't have been driving if there was an earthquake there.

    Teacher: But how were they to know an where an earthquake was going to happen.
    Future Daily Mail columnist right there...
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    guy 1 (standing by the bus stop)
    where do I catch the bus?
    guy 2
    behind you!
    (guy 2 walks past)
    (guy 1 crosses the road)
    (bus drives past without guy 1 seeing it)
    (guy 1 sees the bus stop and recrosses the road)
    guy 1
    is the bus often late?
    guy 3
    you just missed it nitwit.
    guy 1
    -censored-
    (guy 3 walks off)
    guy 1 waits 2 hours for the next bus
    bus arrives
    guy 1 gets on bus.
    bus goes on another route than one guy 1 was wanting....
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    For the joys of people who come from northern Ireland:

    "Does it cost me extra to phone you at home?"
    "Do you pay with euros?"
    And just recently:
    "Do you sit GCSEs there?
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    Lecturer: 'Met him on tinder, lost him on grinder'

    :giggle:
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    (Original post by JeremyOU)
    guy 1 (standing by the bus stop)
    where do I catch the bus?
    guy 2
    behind you!
    (guy 2 walks past)
    (guy 1 crosses the road)
    (bus drives past without guy 1 seeing it)
    (guy 1 sees the bus stop and recrosses the road)
    guy 1
    is the bus often late?
    guy 3
    you just missed it nitwit.
    guy 1
    -censored-
    (guy 3 walks off)
    guy 1 waits 2 hours for the next bus
    bus arrives
    guy 1 gets on bus.
    bus goes on another route than one guy 1 was wanting....
    Are you guy 1...? :console: Busses are a PITA... you just have to sacrifice an old ticket to the Bus God, cross your heart, and hope for the best.
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    As the lecturer walked into our first face-to-face tutor group tutorial he said: "Is this the right room for, oh, there's a guy with long hair so this must be the right room".

    It's 2nd year philosophy.

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    (Original post by themedicalgeek)
    For the joys of people who come from northern Ireland:

    "Does it cost me extra to phone you at home?"
    "Do you pay with euros?"
    And just recently:
    "Do you sit GCSEs there?
    Got asked the first one by my brother and sister just before I left for Scotland.

    Was asked the second one by English flatmate on the first night.
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    Archaeology lecturer, trying to figure out where his field trip students were queueing for the coach: "These can't be ours - they're really neat and well-groomed! The girls are orange - I reckon this lot are Tourism & Hospitality. Has anyone seen a bunch of unshaven guys with tattoos and piercings? Or girls, with just the tattoos and piercings?"
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    Are you guy 1...? :console: Busses are a PITA... you just have to sacrifice an old ticket to the Bus God, cross your heart, and hope for the best.
    thankfully I'm not guy 1, he is a good mate of mine, who rarely uses public transport... for some strange reason
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    All from the same person:

    "Why is Russia snowy if it's near Spain?"

    "Saudi Arabia isn't that far away, it's a lake in Scotland."

    "Do enzymes have eyes? You know...so they can see the substrate..."
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    Welsh First year : 'I brought lots of shampoo with me because I wasn't sure if they had normal shops in Bristol'
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Lecturer: 'Met him on tinder, lost him on grinder'

    :giggle:
    Grindr tales :flutter:
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I heard the very same thing once, the same person thought welsh people spoke gaelic, felt like slapping them:P
    One of my friends thought they spoke 'Waleish'
 
 
 
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