Yes, I know. You speak a lot of sense. Tbh, although I've done it in the past, I wouldn't outright ask a guy out who has a girlfriend because that would be disrespectful to the other woman if nothing else and I wouldn't want to be known as the one who 'led him astray'(Original post by Anonymous)
Imo, there are two issues here - you as the girl asking the guy out and the guy you're interested in already being in a relationship - and you shouldn't confuse the two. In these circumstances, you shouldn't be too forward since you have to bear in mind that you might disrupt a happy relationship and it may not result in him being inclined to go out with you anyway.
If the next guy you're interested in is single, I don't see the problem in you being proactive. Guy 2 might well like you but be having the same fears and it would be silly if both of you want to move forward with each other but no one breaks the deadlock!
But, yeah, I think 10yrs "unrequited love" for guy 1 is more than enough. Absent of any meaningful indications to you that he's interested in your during that period, it's way past time to get him out of your system.
Btw, I'm about as far from a relationship guru as it's possible to be, but I've done the same thing and quietly held a candle for someone for years and not done anything about it, and ultimately it was all wasted time and "love"; I later realised that it was more an infatuation than anything else. Said person went on to marry someone else and is now in circumstances that I wouldn't want to be in.
I suppose it depends on the situation and how close she is to me. I don't know her as a person at all so I have no moral qualms with directly asking him out but if I knew or worked with his girlfriend then I probably wouldn't. I know I'm going to get much stick for this but at the end of the day I want what I want and I've fancied him for longer than her. Also, he's old enough really to take into consideration any consequences of leaving his gf for me. I dunno, guys
My only concern is coming across as 'too masculine' I am often told by my male friends and people at work that I am quite a masculine woman and this might put guys off. I'm not exactly a small, short woman and I'm quite strong compared to other females. Often I get mistaken for a lesbian.
Idk, I may have liked him for a long time on and off but I think I've maybe dropped enough hints and if he liked me enough he probably would have initiated something. In year 7 I told one of the teachers I like him and for some reason this idiotic teacher then proceeded to go and tell him. In the year after I sent him a Christmas gift. If that isn't enough forwardness I don't know what would be
What are your thoughts?