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Boyfriend secretly texting another girl-cheating? watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I pretty much went mental at him last night, he just said he knows its wrong but didnt think it was a big deal and went to sleep. I might be over reacting but i have this gut feeling hes tryibg to sleep wirh her, or at least fancies her. I dont think anyone talks to someone like that unless they like them.
    You are not overreacting, one my ex's did exact same thing and I was absolutely furious with her. In all honestly if he's flirting like that then even if he denies it then the chances are he does want to sleep with her at least, think you deserve better than him to be honest.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    You are not overreacting, one my ex's did exact same thing and I was absolutely furious with her. In all honestly if he's flirting like that then even if he denies it then the chances are he does want to sleep with her at least, think you deserve better than him to be honest.

    Thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you.
    OP out of interest what was/is the outcome?

    Have you found anymore incriminating or otherwise odd behaviour (if you don't mind me asking)??

    I'm a guy, and I would't even condone his behaviour or even him allowing her to speak with him this way. He should even nip it in the bud, or end it with you and pursue her as a single man. It is not fair on you, and it is persecutory for you. You don't deserve this.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    OP out of interest what was/is the outcome?

    Have you found anymore incriminating or otherwise odd behaviour (if you don't mind me asking)??

    I'm a guy, and I would't even condone his behaviour or even him allowing her to speak with him this way. He should even nip it in the bud, or end it with you and pursue her as a single man. It is not fair on you, and it is persecutory for you. You don't deserve this.
    I'm 99% sure I'm going to break up with him. I just text him now telling him I don't want to see him again. He's pretty blasé about everything so I don't think he'll try very hard to stop me.

    No I haven't found anything else, but I wouldn't find out anyway, if anything's happened it would be at work/after work as they are together almost all days.

    Yeah, I think it's very wrong, I've honestly never been so angry in my life, I was literally shaking. But he's not really bothered, saying it's not really bad, so I think that sums up his whole attitude.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 99% sure I'm going to break up with him. I just text him now telling him I don't want to see him again. He's pretty blasé about everything so I don't think he'll try very hard to stop me.

    No I haven't found anything else, but I wouldn't find out anyway, if anything's happened it would be at work/after work as they are together almost all days.

    Yeah, I think it's very wrong, I've honestly never been so angry in my life, I was literally shaking. But he's not really bothered, saying it's not really bad, so I think that sums up his whole attitude.
    Think it sums it up that he ain't bothered, his loss not yours.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 99% sure I'm going to break up with him. I just text him now telling him I don't want to see him again. He's pretty blasé about everything so I don't think he'll try very hard to stop me.

    No I haven't found anything else, but I wouldn't find out anyway, if anything's happened it would be at work/after work as they are together almost all days.

    Yeah, I think it's very wrong, I've honestly never been so angry in my life, I was literally shaking. But he's not really bothered, saying it's not really bad, so I think that sums up his whole attitude.
    Whoa, forgive me-- but he sounds like a complete idiot! The blase attitude says it all really. Remind me, how long have you and he been an item?

    I'm having similar issues myself OP- though I have no real proof in terms of texts or the like. I've seen stuff in the past; but chalked it down to just platonic stuff, I have just experienced a dwindle in our communication online and her activity online long after I've gone to bed. But thats a story for another day.

    I completely understand that 'gut feeling' you have, it is awful, it is the deepest most painful feeling you can ever feel. Knowing you know deep down in your heart, but your head tells you differently.

    Chin up OP you'll find a man that is worthy of your heart

    Keep us posted as to your decision.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    Whoa, forgive me-- but he sounds like a complete idiot! The blase attitude says it all really. Remind me, how long have you and he been an item?

    I'm having similar issues myself OP- though I have no real proof in terms of texts or the like. I've seen stuff in the past; but chalked it down to just platonic stuff, I have just experienced a dwindle in our communication online and her activity online long after I've gone to bed. But thats a story for another day.

    I completely understand that 'gut feeling' you have, it is awful, it is the deepest most painful feeling you can ever feel. Knowing you know deep down in your heart, but your head tells you differently.

    Chin up OP you'll find a man that is worthy of your heart

    Keep us posted as to your decision.
    2 years. It's horrible isn't it, it's hard to pin point something, it's just lots of little things. It is really hard, I want him to care and I think he does, but he just "hates arguing" and says there's nothing he can say and would rather let me go than fight for me.

    I text him telling him how angry I am, and that I don't want to see him again-that was an hour ago and still no reply.

    I think I should stay single for years, I went from really ****ty relationship, to another crap one so I don't think I trust my own judgement!

    And thanks, I will do!
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    I think you should talk properly - after all I text my friends of the opposite sex and they sometimes come across a little flirty (mainly jokingly, but sometimes inadvertently) and there is definitely not something going on! I hope you sort everything out okay.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    2 years. It's horrible isn't it, it's hard to pin point something, it's just lots of little things. It is really hard, I want him to care and I think he does, but he just "hates arguing" and says there's nothing he can say and would rather let me go than fight for me.

    I text him telling him how angry I am, and that I don't want to see him again-that was an hour ago and still no reply.

    I think I should stay single for years, I went from really ****ty relationship, to another crap one so I don't think I trust my own judgement!

    And thanks, I will do!
    Your bloke sounds a lot like my Fiancee. She gives me the phrase "I'm just sick of all the arguing". Its odd, we have the exact same situation; I am pretty much like yourself and he like my partner.

    To me, the response time really is an indication of his attempt to rectify this situation. If he is at work fair do's, or in an interview or otherwise tied up- then so be it. But if he is deliberately not responding, this is the issue!

    The main problem is really knowing the motives for him not replying. If I was someone whom wanted to save my relationship (after having received your text), I would have responded swiftly and tried to come to a solution. Not ignored it.

    His ignoring and general ignorance may be his guilt, but who knows. As painful as it is, I'd wait it out. It could be he has got the message and he thinks, oh okay she doesn't want to see my again, therefore I won't respond. But I'd wait a day or two and maybe try to make contact if he hasn't. If after this, he doesn't I'd chalk it up as a loss and move on with your life OP

    You don't deserve this treatment, and if he really does love you he should show it.

    Actions speak louder than words I'm afraid.
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    Your bloke sounds a lot like my Fiancee. She gives me the phrase "I'm just sick of all the arguing". Its odd, we have the exact same situation; I am pretty much like yourself and he like my partner.

    To me, the response time really is an indication of his attempt to rectify this situation. If he is at work fair do's, or in an interview or otherwise tied up- then so be it. But if he is deliberately not responding, this is the issue!

    The main problem is really knowing the motives for him not replying. If I was someone whom wanted to save my relationship (after having received your text), I would have responded swiftly and tried to come to a solution. Not ignored it.

    His ignoring and general ignorance may be his guilt, but who knows. As painful as it is, I'd wait it out. It could be he has got the message and he thinks, oh okay she doesn't want to see my again, therefore I won't respond. But I'd wait a day or two and maybe try to make contact if he hasn't. If after this, he doesn't I'd chalk it up as a loss and move on with your life OP

    You don't deserve this treatment, and if he really does love you he should show it.

    Actions speak louder than words I'm afraid.
    He text me back hours later telling me he didn''t know it would upset and he's sorry im upset but if im going he won't come after me and i'll just keep leaving so then leave if I want.

    I text me saying why are you doing this, I though you loved me you don't care (I know a bit sad) and he hasn't text back an hour later.

    I kinda feel really sick, for 2 years he never cared or loved me he won't talk to me about anything I just feel so bad how can someone be so nasty.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He text me back hours later telling me he didn''t know it would upset and he's sorry im upset but if im going he won't come after me and i'll just keep leaving so then leave if I want.

    I text me saying why are you doing this, I though you loved me you don't care (I know a bit sad) and he hasn't text back an hour later.

    I kinda feel really sick, for 2 years he never cared or loved me he won't talk to me about anything I just feel so bad how can someone be so nasty.
    I'd wait for a response. But if he doesn't start making any major signs of being polite or actually caring, cut him loose. Why should you put your well-being and self esteem on the line for this prick! There is no excuse for cheating- many people excuse it and say 'oh well its only human nature', 'oh we're all human' 'sometimes it happens'.

    The simplest answer to this is; he simply does not care at this moment in time clearly. I'd make him suffer, I'd move forward and begin a new chapter in your life. **** him, your worth much more

    I appreciate, and forgive me, perhaps I'm projecting my anger about how I feel about cheaters onto you, but still-- you deserve so much better!!

    I can't stand people that cheat (or want too, or are seedy), and I also can't stand those that condone, encourage or otherwise try to rationalise it and say 'oh well it happens were human' blah blah blah blah.

    No acceptable. Full stop.

    You need to kick him to the curb
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    I'd wait for a response. But if he doesn't start making any major signs of being polite or actually caring, cut him loose. Why should you put your well-being and self esteem on the line for this prick! There is no excuse for cheating- many people excuse it and say 'oh well its only human nature', 'oh we're all human' 'sometimes it happens'.

    The simplest answer to this is; he simply does not care at this moment in time clearly. I'd make him suffer, I'd move forward and begin a new chapter in your life. **** him, your worth much more

    I appreciate, and forgive me, perhaps I'm projecting my anger about how I feel about cheaters onto you, but still-- you deserve so much better!!

    I can't stand people that cheat (or want too, or are seedy), and I also can't stand those that condone, encourage or otherwise try to rationalise it and say 'oh well it happens were human' blah blah blah blah.

    No acceptable. Full stop.

    You need to kick him to the curb
    I'm just so shocked at him, I honestly thought he loved me but I know he's just annoyed at me and won't even reply to my text messages. I feel so bad
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    You shouldn't feel bad, he should.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    You shouldn't feel bad, he should.
    He doesn't, he just wants me to stop going on about it/or leave him. I don't know, thanks for your advice I just wish he would care even a little.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yesterday I was reading my boyfriend of 2 years texts and found pretty flirting text messages to this girl he works with. Before you tell me I shouldn't be looking at this phone, I was doing it as a joke and in front of him (he was looking at mine as well).
    They were things like "We're missing you when you're not at work xx" and "Next time take me on holiday with you xx", "Thanks darl xx "I just passed in my car and saw you at the bus stop sorry I didn't give you a lift xx" and he's always the one starting the texting, not her. He also messaged her on Facebook, asking how she is etc. There aren't loads of texts but it seems pretty strange as he doesn't text anyone

    I've met her and worked with them both, during that time he was VERY rude to me in front of others, so much so I told him to **** off and I'm not helping anymore and he said sorry I was stressed. But looking back, he never shouted at her once, but he always tells me he doesn't think she's attractive etc.

    Anyway, I haven't spoken to him since I found the texts, I got really mad. Especially as he read my messages to my boss and he said it was flirty that I put "x" in a message and always "jokes" that I'm flirting with guy friends, even though they text me first and I never says anything like he say's to her. I don't even care, if I flirt I always tell him and never hide it.

    What should I do? Am I wrong to be angry?
    Dump him!!!! Trust me it will be best!
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    (Original post by Bham369)
    Dump him!!!! Trust me it will be best!
    I'm gald other people think it's bad too, because otherwise he tries to make it into a joke and thinks it's funny. Anyway thanks for the message.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gald other people think it's bad too, because otherwise he tries to make it into a joke and thinks it's funny. Anyway thanks for the message.
    Dont worry been there it hurts! Talk to me if you want to ☺
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    He sounds really immature as well.
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    I want to come give you a big cuddle

    How did this girl act with you when you met her? Was there anything odd that you picked up upon?

    I'm sure he does care about you deep down but some boys have this irritating front they put on. Try to get everything out of him and don't let him make you feel guilty and allow him to walk all over you, that's happened to my friends way too many times.

    You'll be okay lovely, don't worry!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's what I think. Something very similar happened with my ex, and I let it go and years late I found out he basically tried to cheat on me.
    Have a serious chat with him and ask him what it's all about and if he says it's nothing, ask him why he texts her 'sweetly' as you put it. Then just use your intuition to see if he is being honest or not. i.e. does he look sincere, is there a reason he's like that (maybe he sees her as a little sister more than a potential partner for instance), or does he look shifty and trying to get away from the convo. It seems strange that he'd be so happy about you reading his texts if there was something to hide.
 
 
 
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