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Boyfriend keeps getting tattoo's which turn me off. watch

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    (Original post by DanB1991)
    Haha, it would be akin for someone breaking up over a bad haircut.....

    Thb much worse problems, unless it's a full body cover, I doubt it is in all honestly that bad. If you think it is, I would re-evaluate the basis of the relationship.
    Because bad haircuts are permanent...?
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    I'd expect most women to like it, but fair play. Shows you got good taste.
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    (Original post by DanB1991)
    Wtf? I think just by reading that I jumped up a class or two!
    Yeah his very articulate , doubt he speaks like that though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to sound mean or anything but I'm just being honest. I like my boyfriend loads but a few weeks ago he went to get a load of tattoos. He already had 2 smallish ones and although I wasn't keen on them I kind of turned a blind eye because I like him. The thing is though the 4 he has had done are huge 2 are on his back and there's 2 more he's had done on his arms. Some people will like tattoos but tattoos on the arms of guys just looks unattractive to me, how can I get over my dislike of tattoos?
    My boyfriend fits into the badboy stereotype, im not fond of tattoos but i think in a relationship you have to get past the prejudices. Tattoos are a form of body art and if you dont necessarily like them perhaps find out their meanings and if you still cant get over it maybe you can end things because in a relationship such feelings shouldnt arise ??
    im sorry if this sounds harsh, its just my boyfriend had a talk to me about this and i understood his perceptive.

    Shahanne's older sister x
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    This is worrying as I plan to get many tattoos in the next few years and haven't given too much though as to what my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend (who I haven't met yet ) will think. Thankyou for opening my eyes. Should I think of any ideas i will let you know.
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    (Original post by DeadGirlsDance)
    Because bad haircuts are permanent...?
    Well... being bald is.

    You wouldn't break up with someone over going bald, would you?
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    (Original post by DeadGirlsDance)
    Because bad haircuts are permanent...?
    Neither are tattoo's these days.... plus it's kind of being extremely judgemental concerning someone's looks. Sure you can have 'bad' tattoos but you can always have them covered/removed.

    A better example possibly would be not dating someone due to hair colour, they could still be attractive and a great person, just not dating them due to their hair colour is a bit harsh. I would say the same for tattoo's, especial non-facial ones.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to sound mean or anything but I'm just being honest. I like my boyfriend loads but a few weeks ago he went to get a load of tattoos. He already had 2 smallish ones and although I wasn't keen on them I kind of turned a blind eye because I like him. The thing is though the 4 he has had done are huge 2 are on his back and there's 2 more he's had done on his arms. Some people will like tattoos but tattoos on the arms of guys just looks unattractive to me, how can I get over my dislike of tattoos?
    Force yourself to stare at the tattoos ever day, for 10 minutes. Smell the tattoos. Touch them. Lick them. Be at one with the tattoos. Then, you will have an enlightenment, you will enter, the fourth dimension.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yea they are different situations. I can't help but think though that if I had the same tattoos done as him most guys would hate it.
    A) Are you objecting to tattoos on principle or the actual designs he's gotten done.

    B) This particular post of yours is kind of irrelevent as there are so many things that one gender could do that the other couldn't.

    C) You are vastly over estimating how fussy men are and underestimating how many men would find a tattooed woman more attractive.
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    #2

    i think they're pretty hot
    http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/050...g?v=1414016058
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    (Original post by shadowtear)
    Well... being bald is.

    You wouldn't break up with someone over going bald, would you?
    It's not a choice that you can discuss with your partner.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    It's not a choice that you can discuss with your partner.
    *john, we need to sit down and talk about your hairloss, you need to change*
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    (Original post by Gwilym101)
    A) Are you objecting to tattoos on principle or the actual designs he's gotten done.

    B) This particular post of yours is kind of irrelevent as there are so many things that one gender could do that the other couldn't.

    C) You are vastly over estimating how fussy men are and underestimating how many men would find a tattooed woman more attractive.
    a) no it's nothing to do with designs it's just that all his skin is slowly being covered up with them and he has nice skin.

    b) Why bring gender into it, gender stereotypes are kind of irrelevant to an individual relationship.. I like what I like and my bf likes what he likes that's all there is to it.

    c) I wasn't talking about men and how many find this and that attractive, I just meant my boyfriend.
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    #1

    (Original post by Gwilym101)
    A) Are you objecting to tattoos on principle or the actual designs he's gotten done.

    B) This particular post of yours is kind of irrelevent as there are so many things that one gender could do that the other couldn't.

    C) You are vastly over estimating how fussy men are and underestimating how many men would find a tattooed woman more attractive.
    Sorry just looked yes I did mention 'most guys' so ignore my answer to C lol, my apologies. I do think that most guys would find them unattractive but I guess I find them unattractive on my boyfriend for the same reasons.. they are just covering nice looking clear skin. I think that's the reason I dislike them or maybe I'm secretly scared of him turning into some hard rocker or something lol.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    a) no it's nothing to do with designs it's just that all his skin is slowly being covered up with them and he has nice skin.

    b) Why bring gender into it, gender stereotypes are kind of irrelevant to an individual relationship.. I like what I like and my bf likes what he likes that's all there is to it.

    c) I wasn't talking about men and how many find this and that attractive, I just meant my boyfriend.
    A) Then I'd let him know you find that aspect of him attractive.

    B) You comment that if you got the same tattoos as him you thought other guys would hate it. Well certain styles suit men and women better, so depending on the tattoos in question yes if you got the exact same tattoo you might get a more negative reaction than his. If you wore an outfit that was clearly designed for a man you'd get a different reaction to your boyfriend wearing the same thing and given how unique tattoos are, some designs will also certainly suit men more than women and vice versa but that isn't an argument against tattoos.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    I'm very much of the school of thought of your boyfriend. I want to get both my nipples pierced and I can't imagine that it would be my boyfriends kind of thing. However I like it, so if he really objects, there are other women that can be more his type and he can leave me. If he doesn't object. ..I see it as a loving respect for my bodily autonomy.

    You need to just accept it or leave. You can't force someone to do with their body what you want.
    See I'd see it as a more mutual thing. Of course you have the right to do whatever you want to your body, but at the same time it's weird to me how little you seem to care about his opinion. I dunno if you're just making a point, but your casual attitude to him leaving suggests you aren't that into him.

    I'd always talk to my girlfriend before making any major changes like that.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    See I'd see it as a more mutual thing. Of course you have the right to do whatever you want to your body, but at the same time it's weird to me how little you seem to care about his opinion. I dunno if you're just making a point, but your casual attitude to him leaving suggests you aren't that into him.

    I'd always talk to my girlfriend before making any major changes like that.
    The thing is that I've always made big changes in my appearance throughout my life. Gone through different looks - from hippie to vintage 50s to glam rock. It is just a part of me as a person to change as I see fit.

    I've also had a range of different piercings from age 15+ and currently wear a bullring piercing regularly. I have a tattoo on my back which I may add to at a later date.

    Body mod is part of my persona and he's been exposed to my more "louder" outfit choices from the start. To expect me to change into something different, now he's got me is unrealistic because that's not who I am.

    I don't think I could be with anyone who tried to stifle my self-expression like that. It gives me joy to radically change myself at my whim. After being with someone controlling, it is liberating to be wholly and completely yourself and have someone wholly and completely love you for that.

    Sorry for coming across like some phoney, cliched artist but that's the way it is with me. Everyone has different priorities in relationships.

    I will say to him what I am thinking of doing before I do it. I would be really angry/hurt if he tried to stop me though. I don't like anyone imposing their will on my body.

    He doesn't need my permission to do something radical to himself although he wouldn't - he's a creature of habit and I don't pressure him to be experimental.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to sound mean or anything but I'm just being honest. I like my boyfriend loads but a few weeks ago he went to get a load of tattoos. He already had 2 smallish ones and although I wasn't keen on them I kind of turned a blind eye because I like him. The thing is though the 4 he has had done are huge 2 are on his back and there's 2 more he's had done on his arms. Some people will like tattoos but tattoos on the arms of guys just looks unattractive to me, how can I get over my dislike of tattoos?
    You don't, you get over him.
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    (Original post by Eveiebaby)
    The thing is that I've always made big changes in my appearance throughout my life. Gone through different looks - from hippie to vintage 50s to glam rock. It is just a part of me as a person to change as I see fit.

    I've also had a range of different piercings from age 15+ and currently wear a bullring piercing regularly. I have a tattoo on my back which I may add to at a later date.

    Body mod is part of my persona and he's been exposed to my more "louder" outfit choices from the start. To expect me to change into something different, now he's got me is unrealistic because that's not who I am.

    I don't think I could be with anyone who tried to stifle my self-expression like that. It gives me joy to radically change myself at my whim. After being with someone controlling, it is liberating to be wholly and completely yourself and have someone wholly and completely love you for that.

    Sorry for coming across like some phoney, cliched artist but that's the way it is with me. Everyone has different priorities in relationships.

    I will say to him what I am thinking of doing before I do it. I would be really angry/hurt if he tried to stop me though. I don't like anyone imposing their will on my body.
    I guess it's a bit different if that's how you've always been. Me and my girlfriend both kind of have the clean cut look I guess, no tats or piercings. It's like how I'd say it's reasonable to express concern if your partner gets fat, but it's not reasonable to date a fat person and tell them to lose weight.

    Self expression is important, but do your partners feelings not come into your consideration at all? I think a big part of loving someone is making them happy. It isn't like my girlfriend would dictate to me what I can and can't do, but I wouldn't feel good knowing I've done something that's negatively affected her.

    Well I guess it's difficult because we are quite different. I have minimal interest in my appearance.

    Trying to stop you is dickish, but what if he just (honestly) said "I really don't think I'd like it if you did that". I think part of an adult relationship is compromising.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I guess it's a bit different if that's how you've always been. Me and my girlfriend both kind of have the clean cut look I guess, no tats or piercings. It's like how I'd say it's reasonable to express concern if your partner gets fat, but it's not reasonable to date a fat person and tell them to lose weight.

    Self expression is important, but do your partners feelings not come into your consideration at all? I think a big part of loving someone is making them happy. It isn't like my girlfriend would dictate to me what I can and can't do, but I wouldn't feel good knowing I've done something that's negatively affected her.

    Well I guess it's difficult because we are quite different. I have minimal interest in my appearance.

    Trying to stop you is dickish, but what if he just (honestly) said "I really don't think I'd like it if you did that". I think part of an adult relationship is compromising.
    I think that everyone compromises in different ways and find it acceptable to compromise in different areas. I compromise for him by always going to things he likes going to even when I'm tired and just want to have a night in to snuggle. I have done this on a regular basis. I also spoil him rotten and massage him and sometimes cook nice meals like duck or monkfish for him.

    Of course his feelings come into my consideration, I go to special efforts to show him love. However but my appearance and my body is totally my domain and he would cause considerable offence by trying to pressure or mould me into having a clean cut look. I don't think he will express a strong preference either way because he respects my independent agency over my body.

    I would no lie, tell him to find a conventional girlfriend if he didn't like it and that I'm sorry but I don't like prim and proper anything. I did this with the last guy I dated who tried to get me to shave my armpits - I told him to shave his and we might have a deal!

    I am into him, I'm just extremely strong willed and anti-submission. He's ballsy and outspoken too, but in a way that is compatible so that we don't have conflicting attitudes for major things.
 
 
 
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