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Girlfriend laughed at me for asking who this guy was.... watch

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    Next time she does it grab her phone and smash it against the wall. Then tell her she is dumped.

    EDIT: Okay I misunderstood. Thought you meant she was on the phone to him while you were there. Still, just dump her. Never speak to her ever again. Better that than her ending up cheating on you and treating you like ****.
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    (Original post by King Mal)
    She's being a right **** on purpose.
    She's either truly chatting to that boy or

    she's doing what I have done (when I was a teenager and immature with women I was seeing): I pretended to be on the phone with someone else to see their reaction. So she could not be cheating but it still trying to mind**** you, and laughing that it is working. So either way leave her because that is not healthy at all. She is trying to bully you and I work in criminology and have read numerous cases that start off like this where a vulnerable man was made victim to a preying female. It might not be that deep but it starts out like this. She's no good.



    Erm did you read? OP has mental instabilities.




    The flick.
    Mate I love it
    This is true. Girls can be much more emotionally manipulative than guys. It compensates for their lack of physical strength.
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    This is true. Girls can be much more emotionally manipulative than guys. It compensates for their lack of physical strength.
    You lost me at physical strength. I know too many females even small ones who would destroy you physically off insanity and rage alone.
    But yes the girl is being manipulative.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...my girlfriend laughed at me/sniggeringly when I asked her who she had been speaking to whilst on phone to me. Heard her saying "I'm on the phone", and upon me asking who was that, she coyly says "its [his name]". She then tells me "why are you asking me" followed by a long pause and a sniggering laugh that really made me fly of the handle.

    Are my reactions justifiable, is this a huge Red Flag and sign of disrespect?

    I asked her what's she laughing at numerous times and she said she was trying to eat her food, followed by pauses and light laughing. She the texts me post-call to say she felt awkward and she didn't want to talk while he was next to her.

    I'm getting more and more angry as time goes on with her behaviour. Is this disrespectful of me? She knows I have anger issues, mental health worries and have paranoia (for which I've had long term ongoing therapy).
    For a start, if you feel violent, stay waaaaaay away from her. It's never justifiable to hurt someone. Talking, or writing it down in a 'non-aggressive tone' would be much better, and is much more likely to sort things out between you two. Don't ever use a mental health issue or an anger issue as a threat or "don't treat me like this because i have so and so" excuse. That won't help anything.
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    (Original post by King Mal)
    You lost me at physical strength. I know too many females even small ones who would destroy you physically off insanity and rage alone.
    But yes the girl is being manipulative.
    Who, me? You know nothing about me. Guys are much, much stronger than girls, no doubt.
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    This is true. Girls can be much more emotionally manipulative than guys. It compensates for their lack of physical strength.
    Thats false!!!! Get ur fact straight first before you say stuff about girls.
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    (Original post by King Mal)
    You lost me at physical strength. I know too many females even small ones who would destroy you physically off insanity and rage alone.
    But yes the girl is being manipulative.
    LOL! Those girls aren't even here, so who's pants are you trying to get into, Mr White Knight? Or maybe they are TSR users....
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    Who, me? You know nothing about me. Guys are much, much stronger than girls, no doubt.
    mkay
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    (Original post by The Good Doctor)
    LOL! Those girls aren't even here, so who's pants are you trying to get into, Mr White Knight? Or maybe they are TSR users....
    wtf are you even on about. what girls aren't even where? Jickleson is being sexist, allow it, cupcake.
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    (Original post by RBalboa)
    Thats false!!!! Get ur fact straight first before you say stuff about girls.
    uuuuuu tell 'em hunnay
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    (Original post by king mal)
    wtf are you even on about. What girls aren't even where? Jickleson is being sexist, allow it, cupcake.
    **mega-facepalm**
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    Drop the *****. Simple.
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    (Original post by ubisoft)
    She's getting fingerbanged on the side
    *sniff* *sniff*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe, but can't prove it so. But she is testing my patience well and truly. As soon as we're fine again she does something odd that she knows will make me pissed off.

    I'm not geographically close to her, we only Skype and every 4-8 weeks.

    I've been working through things with a therapist, but my inability to control my rage coupled with paranoia is getting too much.

    I'm not even looking forward to going to see her, I fear I'll do something stupid.

    May ask to meet said guy, as he works with her.

    The problem is with anger issues and paranoia you can never be confident whether you have reason to be concerned or it's all in your head.

    It sounds funny of her to do what she did from your perspective and I believe in your mind you feel something is up. Maybe it is?

    Still she could be entirely on the level and it's just your mind turning on you as it does.


    What I do know for sure is that you're in a long-distance relationship with very infrequent contact.
    Considering your recovery do you really need the stress and hassle of a distant (geographically and emotionally?) girlfriend?

    You cant control her, you can't tell her who she associates with, all you can do is decide if and when you've had enough and chose to leave the situation.


    Give it a good long hard think about whether this current relationship is worth the aggravation for you.

    It sounds like your girlfriend isn't that terribly invested, and has her attention elsewhere, even if she hasn't done anything wrong and has no real intention to.
    Her checking out of the relationship is still grounds to call it off.
    You'll also feel way more relief and come off the better guy.


    In the mean time continue with prioritizing your recovery. Your mental health, your sanity trumps boobs.
    • #2
    #2

    If you can't trust yourself to be non-violent with her, don't see her.
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    (Original post by ubisoft)
    She's getting fingerbanged on the side
    Stop forum trolling and make a decent game for a change!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    This relationship has and is taking its toll on me. My therapist states that perhaps it is an issue with me not being about to love myself or feel lovable. Part of me agrees, but part of me is angry that she has disrespected me this way. I'm conflicted with my emotions, because I actually love her, and rt of me wants to believe I'm overreacting due to my issues, but then I think; why would anyone that knew about me to her level do this to me in such a disrespectful way.

    I'm going back and forth in my head and thinking this relationship obviously is destroying me, and I don't necessarily feel all of our problems stem from me

    I'm seeing her in a few days time, travelling to see her, so we'll see what happens.

    Don't even know how to go forward from this; if I tell her I need space she will start getting all teary/upset tell me she loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me, yet is perfectly okay to have a laugh at me, when I her colleague is right next to her. Said she couldn't talk about who he was to me because she was right near him- because it's awkward. Yeah sure!
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    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    Stop forum trolling and make a decent game for a change!
    I rather release new games annually and make more money hahaha you peasants are going to buy it regardless hahaha preorder Far Cry Primal for Assassin's Creed 18 beta.
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    (Original post by ubisoft)
    I rather release new games annually and make more money hahaha you peasants are going to buy it regardless hahaha preorder Far Cry Primal for Assassin's Creed 18 beta.
    No!

    ...Wait...w-what is happening? My arm, it goes for my wallet, no! NO! Stop! AAAAHHH!!!! *all the pre-orders* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    The problem is with anger issues and paranoia you can never be confident whether you have reason to be concerned or it's all in your head.

    It sounds funny of her to do what she did from your perspective and I believe in your mind you feel something is up. Maybe it is?

    Still she could be entirely on the level and it's just your mind turning on you as it does.


    What I do know for sure is that you're in a long-distance relationship with very infrequent contact.
    Considering your recovery do you really need the stress and hassle of a distant (geographically and emotionally?) girlfriend?

    You cant control her, you can't tell her who she associates with, all you can do is decide if and when you've had enough and chose to leave the situation.


    Give it a good long hard think about whether this current relationship is worth the aggravation for you.

    It sounds like your girlfriend isn't that terribly invested, and has her attention elsewhere, even if she hasn't done anything wrong and has no real intention to.
    Her checking out of the relationship is still grounds to call it off.
    You'll also feel way more relief and come off the better guy.


    In the mean time continue with prioritizing your recovery. Your mental health, your sanity trumps boobs.
    I thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous response, means a lot that there are some nice folks in here such as yourself.

    It is very funny/odd from my perspective yes, and I feel there is something up with that. Irrespective or not of cheating or anything, it's a massive blow to my fragile ego to have her insult me by laughing and is disrespectful. I do feel there is something up.

    More recently, just the other night she was in a very negative mood, apologetic, telling me she loved me - 'mushy' etc, and sometimes she is so distant I can feel it emotioanlly.

    This last two weeks we've argued almost daily, and it's cyclical. We go from resolution to more arguing. However, she is starting to get more defensive to my questions- just today after I asked whom it was she said: "I don't need to tell you who everybody is". I said "well I feel entitled to an honest answer if I ask you, most people would expect this cosmidering im with you"

    Anyways, despite my therapist trying to help me re-focus on myself and pointing the bigger picture to my issues been the cause, I really do believe that this could serve as a distraction for her. My therapist even said she can only speculate and doesn't know whether she's cheating, so to some degree (other than controlling my anger/worry/paranoia) distractions and a false sense of security won't help me if what I feel is true.

    Thanks again for your response
 
 
 
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