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Should i drop out of uni because i have no friends? Watch

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    (Original post by DedicatedWizard)
    Lol sorry, I accidentally sent it then my phone battery died so I couldn't press Edit on time :'D

    Have you joined any societies you're interested in?

    However, I emphasise with the having no friends part. I didn't have any friends in my first year in sixth form, it was really depressing and really affected my studies. My problem was lacking in self confidence which I didn't tackle till recent times.

    It's not the end of the world, I know everyone says that people you meet in uni will be your friends for life but that's not the case at all. I read plenty of stories on TSR where people didn't make friends in the first year then second year came and did.

    Just chat casually to people in your lectures and classes, maybe complain about a recent test or something and see how it goes? Small steps

    I hope I helped in some way!


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    Out of intetest how do you think a llack of self confidence prevented you from making friends and how did you tackle it ?
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    think of the bigger picture. At the end of the degree what are you going to be happy with:

    1. You made friends
    2. You graduated with a 1st/2:1 in a subject you're passionate about.
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    #1

    (Original post by AthiaKarim)
    think of the bigger picture. At the end of the degree what are you going to be happy with:

    1. You made friends
    2. You graduated with a 1st/2:1 in a subject you're passionate about.


    Everyone looks so ****ing happy and i'm not getting anywhere.

    Of course no.2 is what i want but i want a life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)


    Everyone looks so ****ing happy and i'm not getting anywhere.

    Of course no.2 is what i want but i want a life.
    I get where you're coming from. At some point in my first year I went through this. But it was my fault because I'm an introverted, reserved person. But I learnt to be happy with what I have and the people I had around me. I know in university it's desirable to go out with your friends all the time, be wild. But truth is, if that's what you want you're going to have to make an effort with people.

    Of course you can do well and have an amazing time. But you're gunna have to make time and effort for both. Things don't just happen x
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    You can't expect to attract the types of friends/people that you want to with the attitude that "Life is horrible" for example. To be honest with you I felt this way about friends and social groups for a while but I just persevered. I think your problem is that you've given up but if you seriously focus yourself day by day you'll begin to see results and that will ultimately change your time at uni in the long term- Because your problem doesn't seem to be with uni it's more with yourself!
    I really hope you can pick yourself up because I, and many other people that I know did and it only got X10 better! But for now focus on each day and if you can't do this yourself see someone for some counselling or something- it'll work wonders.
    Wish I could help more but unfortunately its over to you now. Good luck OP :beer:
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    Hm, definitely stop the alcohol(it will make you alone, dependant and miserable consumed in that way) and I don't know, whether this is an option for you, but have you considered to be checked, whether a mental health problem may have developed? Because you seem to suffer and that makes you eligible for help. In case they can help you, they will and there might be lower level offers of help at your uni, so it does not have to be therapy or nothing.

    It is way easier to make friends, when you are a bit more on equal terms with yourself. One can also learn certain techniques(or simply get more aware) to be better in avoiding certain traps, making oneself unlikable. (On the other hand, nobody is perfect, so don't hide away.)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please

    Is it time for me to leave uni. I've been in Uni since September and to be honest, the experience has been a tragedy to say the least. Socialising is very autistic and i fear people will see me as weakbecause i have no friends in the uni.

    It's also very embarassing to be alone if you live in halls but no one hollas at you or flatmates don't give a **** about you.

    I can't really do this. Next year is planned very well to end this depressive cycle but i can't continue for another 3 months. I will be commuting from April but even this isn't going to help my situation. If i do want to drop out, i want to do some youth work abroad (paid) or perhaps pay attention to my christianity and do missionary work...

    I also don't really want to go back to my house as i don't get along with my family. Help me what should i do
    One reason you might feel depressed is because you had high expectations about social life at uni, which is normal. maybe you didnt have a great time at college so you thought uni would be your "breakthrough" to a normal life. Sadly it rarely works like that. If that's that case, you yourself probably have some fundamental issues that a change in environment can't fix.

    My recommendation would be to stay in university. What may ease your mind is this: Don't bow to pressure. Don't think university has to be the best time of your life. Don't think you have to make friends. Just work on your degree, try to do well and slowly you can tackle your problems and try to transition to a normal happy life.

    Idk if this helps but yeah
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    (Original post by Nathanielle)
    Hm, definitely stop the alcohol(it will make you alone, dependant and miserable consumed in that way) and I don't know, whether this is an option for you, but have you considered to be checked, whether a mental health problem may have developed? Because you seem to suffer and that makes you eligible for help. In case they can help you, they will and there might be lower level offers of help at your uni, so it does not have to be therapy or nothing.

    It is way easier to make friends, when you are a bit more on equal terms with yourself. One can also learn certain techniques(or simply get more aware) to be better in avoiding certain traps, making oneself unlikable. (On the other hand, nobody is perfect, so don't hide away.)
    Well i suffer from Social Anxiety and depression so yeah.

    I'm not an alcholic so i won't stop drinking as it helps me cope with this crisis i'm having.

    I just think this the only way out. I achieved my dream of going to uni so perhaps it ends here
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    So you're gonna ditch your career because you have no friends? Over-dramatic.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One reason you might feel depressed is because you had high expectations about social life at uni, which is normal. maybe you didnt have a great time at college so you thought uni would be your "breakthrough" to a normal life. Sadly it rarely works like that. If that's that case, you yourself probably have some fundamental issues that a change in environment can't fix.
    Yes, college was **** and my hometown was **** so i thought university would end it and i finally have friends.

    Unfortunately this hasn't worked. It is now my worst nightmare and i'm breaking down to a point i know i will end up being sectioned.

    I can't continue 3 more months of pain. Next year i arranged a plan where i live by myself and do a joint honours to **** out of my current painful course but i can't do it unless i pass this year which is hell for me as i have no friends in the course.

    Everything is just hell. I'm in hell and i can't get out of it
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    So you're gonna ditch your career because you have no friends? Over-dramatic.
    It sounds stupid but yes.

    Without friends, how can you have a good career in a job.

    i'm nearly there to being a recluse. I can just feel it in months where i just shut down my phone and no one knows where i am
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    You should.
    Why isnt there a poll?
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    #1

    (Original post by UAG)
    You should.
    Why isnt there a poll?
    Don't know how to make one

    I'm still new to TSR
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It sounds stupid but yes.

    Without friends, how can you have a good career in a job.

    i'm nearly there to being a recluse. I can just feel it in months where i just shut down my phone and no one knows where i am
    Real friends take time to build. I don't have any friends on my course - i attend lectures and go home lol. Find a part time job or do voluntary work in the field you are wanting to work in - it will fill up your time and you might meet more people who will be willing to be your friend.
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    I was in a similar position to you at uni. I didn't connect with anyone on my course and none of my flatmates ever spoke to each other. I spent the first term trying to stick it out however I got very down over not having a single person to talk to or go out with. I tried joining societies and talking to the university, however nothing really worked, and in January I decided to leave.

    I am now a million times happier having left, and have applied to start again in September at another university. I realise I could have stayed, completed the year and then transferred into the 2nd year of another university, however I was so unhappy I just couldn't stand the idea of staying any longer and my work was suffering because of it. Starting again in September will give me a second chance to start from scratch, which I'm really looking forward to.

    Obviously getting a good degree is the main reason you are at university, not just making friends. However if not having friends is making you depressed and lowering your confidence even more, it's not going to help you in the long run. University should be an experience that you enjoy, and that makes you grow and learn as a person as well as in your field of study, it should not be somewhere that drives you into depression.

    I would advise trying all areas first before deciding to leave. Join a society or talk to someone at the university and see if they can help you first, or try to concentrate on the work and then transfer at the end of the year. However if you are truly unhappy, then there is no shame in leaving now and re-applying for the following year.
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Real friends take time to build. I don't have any friends on my course - i attend lectures and go home lol. Find a part time job or do voluntary work in the field you are wanting to work in - it will fill up your time and you might meet more people who will be willing to be your friend.
    I don't mean to be rude but....

    You're a girl, Introvertism is a girly thing. I am yet to meet a man who is of introvert nature.

    So you commute from uni? Either way it is your choice but mine is NOT A CHOICE. I hanged out with these people in freshers and now they avoid me like the plaque. I just finished cooking having dinner at 1am because i'm scared to meet my flatmates in the kitchen.

    It's painful but i can't do this
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    (Original post by DedicatedWizard)
    I'm not in uni yet so take this advice with a pinch of salt


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    lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't mean to be rude but....

    You're a girl, Introvertism is a girly thing. I am yet to meet a man who is of introvert nature.

    So you commute from uni? Either way it is your choice but mine is NOT A CHOICE. I hanged out with these people in freshers and now they avoid me like the plaque. I just finished cooking having dinner at 1am because i'm scared to meet my flatmates in the kitchen.

    It's painful but i can't do this
    You've already made your mind up - drop out then.
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    You've already made your mind up - drop out then.
    I do want to drop out, your right. But the problem is i'm of african descent and my parents will be pissed off and also the fact that i even want to go back home.

    If i get persuade my family and tell them something like this: 'I'm dropping out of uni and i want to live in another country to start a new life' - then i yes i will drop out immediately.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do want to drop out, your right. But the problem is i'm of african descent and my parents will be pissed off and also the fact that i even want to go back home.

    If i get persuade my family and tell them something like this: 'I'm dropping out of uni and i want to live in another country to start a new life' - then i yes i will drop out immediately.
    Change universities? Study abroad?
 
 
 
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