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It really dissapoints me being the sex that i am. Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I cant decide if i want them though, i certainly hate the thought of being pregnant. If i want them it will be when im in my 40's as ive got goals i want to achieve plus ive still not travelled. So it looks like im not having them.

    Bet you've heard some of the debate about whether a woman can 'have it all'.

    Most can't.

    You need to think more deeply.

    Will you want to be childless at 50 or 60?

    Is that more important than travelling?

    Only you know the answer.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to be a man so that i can get away with not having kids till a late age, have a fit looking body well into old age whilst still being able to attract people with my distinguished looks snd experience. I cant do this as a woman, no one thinks much of women once they reach 40 they take one look and think 'a mum' or if shes no kids they think loner/weirdo. I just think that if i was male id have so much to look forward to and a bright future but as a female who doesnt want kids i dont.
    Um... if you're a guy people immediately think your a loner or weirdo if your on your own anyway, regardless of age.

    Plus guys have to work for their 'fit looking bodies' and not everyone has distinguished looks or experience.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    I'm not trying to patronise you, or try and act like I have it particularly tough but you (unavoidably) have a very one sided view on the male experience. There is much more men face then just that, just as women face things most men would have no idea about.
    I realise some of the hardships that many men do face such as having to appear strong or else face bullying, but if i was a guy id thrive on that with my lifting and competitiveness. I do have deep sympathy for all those young men called up in the world wars though, shows how much pressure can be placed on men at the expense of their lives.

    Then theres all the rejection men can face when young when they are expected to make the first move. At least things can get better as they get older though and gain confidence/careers. They have their whole life to look foward to and are in no hurry/no biological clock. I was rejected when younger and my forecast is that romance wise things can only get worse with age (studies and experience show show women are valued on youth,beauty).

    Ive tried to look at it both sides but i still think its much better to be male.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to be a man so that i can get away with not having kids till a late age, have a fit looking body well into old age whilst still being able to attract people with my distinguished looks snd experience. I cant do this as a woman, no one thinks much of women once they reach 40 they take one look and think 'a mum' or if shes no kids they think loner/weirdo. I just think that if i was male id have so much to look forward to and a bright future but as a female who doesnt want kids i dont.
    Oh dear. What a dim view you have of yourself and that is a huge shame.

    I am one damn fine 40 year old. I was an 'older mother' when I had my first child at 32 years old. I have two children now, but you couldn't assume that from looking at me. And I plan another, maybe two.

    I was speaking to a fellow student on my course recently about my upcoming birthday. Her jaw hit the floor when I said I'd be 41. I asked how old she thought I was. Around 30 was her shock-faced reply - boo yah! I ain't done, I'm just getting started y'all! 😆
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I realise some of the hardships that many men do face such as having to appear strong or else face bullying, but if i was a guy id thrive on that with my lifting and competitiveness. I do have deep sympathy for all those young men called up in the world wars though, shows how much pressure can be placed on men at the expense of their lives.

    Then theres all the rejection men can face when young when they are expected to make the first move. At least things can get better as they get older though and gain confidence/careers. They have their whole life to look foward to and are in no hurry/no biological clock. I was rejected when younger and my forecast is that romance wise things can only get worse with age (studies and experience show show women are valued on youth,beauty).

    Ive tried to look at it both sides but i still think its much better to be male.
    You're looking at it with a bit of a bias though, aren't you? There's more to being male then just that.
    I don't think either side can imagine the other for what it actually is, even within genders there's so much variation.
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    maybe look into seeing a doctor about gender identity confusion?
    yeah I'm not sure that's the solution (?)

    I often think how much easier life would be if I was a bloke, doesn't mean I'm 'confused' ??

    people try too hard to identify named problems for everyone, maybe we can just wonder without having to be diagnosed all the time?! It's inferring that OP needs fixing when they're just expressing an opinion they're having right now.

    I think about this a lot lmao
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    Um... if you're a guy people immediately think your a loner or weirdo if your on your own anyway, regardless of age.

    Plus guys have to work for their 'fit looking bodies' and not everyone has distinguished looks or experience.
    Ok you can have the first one.

    See an older guy in his 40's snd 50's who works on his body will tend to attract females (thats the general view) if he can pull off the sexy confident look. Now get a woman in her 40's and 50's who works on her body and the general view is she wouldnt attract all these men, she will just be seen as old. The men who work out will be wanting the younger females.
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    yeah I'm not sure that's the solution (?)

    I often think how much easier life would be if I was a bloke, doesn't mean I'm 'confused' ??

    people try too hard to identify named problems for everyone, maybe we can just wonder without having to be diagnosed all the time?! It's inferring that OP needs fixing when they're just expressing an opinion they're having right now.

    I think about this a lot lmao
    if she has a problem being a girl just because of one thing enough to hate being female then something clearly isnt right, i also said theres advice available. getting advice isnt a diagnosis at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to be a man so that i can get away with not having kids till a late age, have a fit looking body well into old age whilst still being able to attract people with my distinguished looks snd experience. I cant do this as a woman, no one thinks much of women once they reach 40 they take one look and think 'a mum' or if shes no kids they think loner/weirdo. I just think that if i was male id have so much to look forward to and a bright future but as a female who doesnt want kids i dont.

    That's so true.

    I can't tell you the number of times 19 year old women look at my 'dad bod' and think, "I could go for some of that. He's so distinguished and experienced!"

    Honestly, don't think about what you believe other people do. Just be happy - If you keep comparing your life to some ideal that doesn't exist, you'll never be happy.

    Today, my boy has ooze coming out of his eyes. He's sick and covering me in various bodily fluids. I made him banana pancakes and he fell asleep on my chest with a contented look in his face. Despite being slimy and knowing I'm going to catch whatever he's got - Despite having a dad bod, I wouldn't change all the youth in the world for what I have now. Growing up is the best thing ever.

    Stick to it - Things aren't as bad as you fear and other people don't have things as good as you think. Love yourself - Things'll work out.
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    if she has a problem being a girl just because of one thing enough to hate being female then something clearly isnt right, i also said theres advice available. getting advice isnt a diagnosis at all.
    mmmmm I disagree

    I have moments when I hate being female but then in a week I won't even remember it? PERIODS SUCK for example: one thing enough to hate being female

    this does not mean I need 'advice' :rofl:

    I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, I'm just wondering if you see where I'm coming from... because I look around these days and everything is trying to sort us into these categories like, I don't know, 'depressed' or 'bisexual' or 'gender confused' for example. Is it so hard to just be without some weird word defining how you may or may not feel at one particular moment in time *sigh*

    And, like, just because someone is 'disappointed with the sex they are' doesn't mean they have to be labeled 'confused'

    DOES MY FRUSTRATION MAKE SENSE LOL
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    mmmmm I disagree

    I have moments when I hate being female but then in a week I won't even remember it? PERIODS SUCK for example: one thing enough to hate being female

    this does not mean I need 'advice' :rofl:

    I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, I'm just wondering if you see where I'm coming from... because I look around these days and everything is trying to sort us into these categories like, I don't know, 'depressed' or 'bisexual' or 'gender confused' for example. Is it so hard to just be without some weird word defining how you may or may not feel at one particular moment in time *sigh*

    And, like, just because someone is 'disappointed with the sex they are' doesn't mean they have to be labeled 'confused'

    DOES MY FRUSTRATION MAKE SENSE LOL
    not really, no
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    Plus you can pee standing up.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok you can have the first one.

    See an older guy in his 40's snd 50's who works on his body will tend to attract females (thats the general view) if he can pull off the sexy confident look. Now get a woman in her 40's and 50's who works on her body and the general view is she wouldnt attract all these men, she will just be seen as old. The men who work out will be wanting the younger females.
    Woah there! You are maybe confusing 40 with 65 years old here. Why can't a 40 year old female work on her body, look good and attract male attention?

    I was out walking with my children in the summer, feeling haggard as my car had broken down, we had been forced to catch the bus on a now long journey and my children would not stop talking. Two hipsters walking in the opposite direction, giving eye contact and smiles, one comments we pass, "Hi lovely". I was not looking particularly hot. But yes, I take care of my body and I am confident with it.

    Plus, you do not have to give birth to become a parent.
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    (Original post by CCC75)
    Woah there! You are maybe confusing 40 with 65 years old here. Why can't a 40 year old female work on her body, look good and attract male attention?
    She can obviously try to stay in shape, but female attractiveness tends to start declining around the age of 25, and the decline accelerates rapidly after 35 or so.

    Studies continually find that men are attracted to youth. Women not so much.
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    not really, no
    so so okay
    I'm just confused as to *sigh* okay

    so you believe that just because someone is wondering something, maybe has thought about it enough and done enough introspection to get them to the boil over point of posting a thread because they just want to express this feeling they have sometimes (but in that particular moment) have very strongly: this means we have to label them 'confused'

    can't we all just wonder about things, wonder without having to commit to some stupid category, or word, or label that our language has tried and continues to fail to correctly express?
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    mmmmm I disagree

    I have moments when I hate being female but then in a week I won't even remember it? PERIODS SUCK for example: one thing enough to hate being female

    this does not mean I need 'advice' :rofl:

    I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, I'm just wondering if you see where I'm coming from... because I look around these days and everything is trying to sort us into these categories like, I don't know, 'depressed' or 'bisexual' or 'gender confused' for example. Is it so hard to just be without some weird word defining how you may or may not feel at one particular moment in time *sigh*

    And, like, just because someone is 'disappointed with the sex they are' doesn't mean they have to be labeled 'confused'

    DOES MY FRUSTRATION MAKE SENSE LOL
    :jumphug: Yes it does
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    so so okay
    I'm just confused as to *sigh* okay

    so you believe that just because someone is wondering something, maybe has thought about it enough and done enough introspection to get them to the boil over point of posting a thread because they just want to express this feeling they have sometimes (but in that particular moment) have very strongly: this means we have to label them 'confused'

    can't we all just wonder about things, wonder without having to commit to some stupid category, or word, or label that our language has tried and continues to fail to correctly express?
    did you even read the second part of advice i gave to the OP? I said she can talk to someone for free advice, i said nothing about diagnosis or labelling, that was all you so youre causing another debate about labelling people for no reason? and for the record, id rather have a label for something i was going through than 'just wondering'
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    Oh sorry, I forgot your delusional, anecdotal evidence trumps all other reasoning.
    Ive heard of ****'s but rarely see them in real life.

    I studied a bit of health and social care for my course and its not so much the actual pay but according to statistics men are more likely to be promoted even when they have less experience/skills than their female collegues.

    Even in female dominated careers like nursing this happens, its thought to be because women are seen more as primary caregivers for their children and so might be distracted from the position more than men. They call it the glass ceiling effect..everyone is given an 'equal' chance at promotion but if part of the population are more liklely to be late for work now and again due to dropping kids off/kids being ill (ie mainly women) this will be a strike against them. Its like an indirect inequality. It doesnt bother me that much to make a big deal about as things change with time, men having more paternity leave and all that.
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    did you even read the second part of advice i gave to the OP? I said she can talk to someone for free advice, i said nothing about diagnosis or labelling, that was all you so youre causing another debate about labelling people for no reason? and for the record, id rather have a label for something i was going through than 'just wondering'
    the difference between you and I

    nah I only got into that because I was just tryna convey my general frustration at how attitudes ~are~ these days, which you said you didn't really get how I thought like that ('not really no') so so so this is why lmao
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    (Original post by Milzime)
    the difference between you and I

    nah I only got into that because I was just tryna convey my general frustration at how attitudes ~are~ these days, which you said you didn't really get how I thought like that ('not really no' so so so this is why lmao
    well you asked if i understood and i didnt so obviously im going to say no? each to their own.
 
 
 
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