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I am writing a thriller novel... dunno what to do need help! Watch

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    What specifically about the front of the book is it that you're querying? You need a title page and a copyright page. If you want you can also have a dedication page. Contents are entirely up to you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone. I decided to make this post anonymously because I don't really want people to know who is writing a novel - I am actually most likely going to use a pen name for it to sort of hide my identity as I am worried about people I know taking the mick and etc. So before I ask you some things please respect that at least.

    I'm not quite sure about what to do in terms of the first few pages in the novel (not the actual story but the other stuff). I know about copyright and etc, I know how to do that but I don't know what else to do. It would be nice to hear from someone who has wrote a novel before?

    I am also worried if I am not being creative enough. To give you a brief summary of my novel, it is a thriller novel about a woman murdered on the tube with a lethal injection amongst the crowd (I know it sounds lovely ). There are two detectives who are trying to solve the case, I do perspectives of both of their lives away from the case/scene and that's when they have their own personal problems and etc. Anyways, it concludes to two suspects, the woman's husband or the woman's boss. I can't tell you anymore or else it will spoil it. Is this idea creative? Does it sound to cliché? I want to be original so please analyse my idea critically.

    I'm sorry I sound so demanding - I'm just worried if my ideas aren't being portrayed correctly or if I am doing it all wrong. Thanks!
    The first novel I wrote when I was 17 is a thriller/mystery and is now published on a new fiction app. It actually follow the perspective of three characters. One female, two males. I've done countless drafts since starting the novel almost four years ago, and just before I was asked to be a writer on this new fiction app (called Radish Fiction) I had this novel sent to another author and editor for feedback. He helped me out a hell of a lot. When he wrote his points about my character development, he told me that I needed to make the two male characters more different to each other as at times they sounded quite similar. That's a problem a lot of writers seem to have. If you're writing a novel with more than one perspective it's great to take out some time to really work on your character development to avoid this issue.

    You also need to stop thinking so much about this, and what I mean by is stop thinking so much about if you're not being creative enough. No writer should think that. They just write whatever comes from the heart and work on it. I don't think it sounds cliche at all. It has potential. You need just need to start writing. That's really the best advice I can give you. You won't know what you're working with unless you've got something down.
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    #1

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    What specifically about the front of the book is it that you're querying? You need a title page and a copyright page. If you want you can also have a dedication page. Contents are entirely up to you.
    Thanks! That's my initial question anyway so thanks for that I am completely new to this so I hope you don't mind me asking obvious things.
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    #1

    (Original post by Novascope)
    The first novel I wrote when I was 17 is a thriller/mystery and is now published on a new fiction app. It actually follow the perspective of three characters. One female, two males. I've done countless drafts since starting the novel almost four years ago, and just before I was asked to be a writer on this new fiction app (called Radish Fiction) I had this novel sent to another author and editor for feedback. He helped me out a hell of a lot. When he wrote his points about my character development, he told me that I needed to make the two male characters more different to each other as at times they sounded quite similar. That's a problem a lot of writers seem to have. If you're writing a novel with more than one perspective it's great to take out some time to really work on your character development to avoid this issue.

    You also need to stop thinking so much about this, and what I mean by is stop thinking so much about if you're not being creative enough. No writer should think that. They just write whatever comes from the heart and work on it. I don't think it sounds cliche at all. It has potential. You need just need to start writing. That's really the best advice I can give you. You won't know what you're working with unless you've got something down.
    Oh gee best advice! Thanks so much for this. The two male characters are actually quite similar, they are both obsessed with the same woman so I think I need to change their behaviour of one of them, maybe make one childish or immature or something?... Something will pop up in my head during the day but I am going to change that as many people have said to me previously.

    Mine will have three perspectives, the woman and the two detectives because I know I will have a lot to write about them, especially the detectives who have issues with their own lives, such as alcohol, abuse, stress from work and depression. I think adding these 21st century effects of work and social media etc will give a view of what it's like to be depressed and stressed, since depression is on the rise now, I think that will be great to write on!

    Thanks for that advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh gee best advice! Thanks so much for this. The two male characters are actually quite similar, they are both obsessed with the same woman so I think I need to change their behaviour of one of them, maybe make one childish or immature or something?... Something will pop up in my head during the day but I am going to change that as many people have said to me previously.

    Mine will have three perspectives, the woman and the two detectives because I know I will have a lot to write about them, especially the detectives who have issues with their own lives, such as alcohol, abuse, stress from work and depression. I think adding these 21st century effects of work and social media etc will give a view of what it's like to be depressed and stressed, since depression is on the rise now, I think that will be great to write on!

    Thanks for that advice
    Well my two male characters are both in love with the female. One is a very violent, blunt, and monotone type of guy. While the other has less of a temper, he's more calm and kind. In terms of dialogue, the first is very blunt and straightforward. Almost like a robot in some sense, while the other displays a lot more emotion.

    But anyway you're on the right track for sure
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks! That's my initial question anyway so thanks for that I am completely new to this so I hope you don't mind me asking obvious things.
    My first two books just have a title page, copyright page, and dedication page.

    My third book has the above, but also a poem.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Below there's some nice long text on Jane's perspective (1st chapter). I am still thinking of re-naming the 1st chapter to something like Jane's Last Day or I don't know? Any thoughts except for just Jane? Anyways, I think I have read a bit back just to see if I am on track, might have missed grammar mistakes and spellings etc so please read it and see if I missed any and I will change it

    JaneTuesday, 6:34AM
    Beep beep,beep beep… don’t you just hate that? I could have sworn I snoozed that bloodyalarm about 3 times. Once I had the energy to get out of bed, I looked to myright to see if Paul was there, and he was, snoring away. I got up trying tomake the least amount of noise possible into the kitchen where I made a veryimportant decision of either making a bacon butty, or cereal. I looked up atthe clock for a second opinion and the clock disagreed with me as I needed togo to work, so I chose cereal. With the energy I had, I walked to the fridge toget out the milk which was expired yesterday, and poured it into my cereal notworrying about the taste of it. I then heard movements in the bedroom and agroan of fatigue. Paul finally got up out of bed, maybe hearing the noisecreated from me moving, and went into the fridge and grabbed a ready meal.“Morning darling,” I said desperately waiting for him tojust turn around and look at me and say good morning to me.
    After a rather lengthy delay “Morning,”
    “So, what are you eating this morning?” trying to start a conversation.
    “Ready meal,” he replied very briefly. He doesn't want to talk to me.So we atesilently on the 4-chair dining table opposite each other, not looking, notsmiling nor talking - just eating. You could tell by the way he ate his curry n’chips ready meal that he was rather ticked off (which he had been for months)about the person messaging me constantly at night. He’s actually become paranoidabout the phone going off, in a majorargument last night and we both went to sleep with our backs turned to eachother. Well… itgoes like this. For the past three months, I have been seeing my boss, Jack,who I work for at a broadband network company called Connexter. Let me justsay, I don’t want to carry on with this relationship. He always keeps wantingme to divorce Paul and move in with him and ‘start a life’ with him but thething is… Yes I do want a divorce but I don’t ever want to get married ever again because I know I cannot keepa promise of love and trustworthiness, I just can’t. And he just keeps buggingme and constantly coming to my office to talk to me and sending his secretaryto tell me to come to his office. I don’t want to see him! I don’t want to seehim, doesn't he get the message? Then he gives me this look, he often stares atme, even when I don’t notice it as Millie (co-worker and my best friend) toldme – it is freaking me out a bit… I just feel so guilty and untrustworthy of amarital relationship, that’s why I cannot do that again and especially withhim; it was a mistake to be with him.After Ifinished my cereal I got up and placed it in the sink with the other mountainof plates waiting to be washed. I then walked out of the kitchen, had a shower,brushed my teeth, put my work clothes on and got ready to leave. When I walkedthrough the kitchen to get my coat from the living room, he leaned on thecounter with one hand on the counter and one on his head, waiting for thecoffee machine to finish is coffee. After getting my coat I did the last checkbefore leaving the house to catch the North Ealing tube at 7:13AM. I rememberwhen I locked the door and walked down the road with my trench coat andhandbag, I turned around to look back at the house and I saw him staring at me,then quickly close the curtains as a reaction to me turning around. I am soglad I actually have a job, I would hate having to stay home with him all dayor else we would probably both kill each other.The lovelysmell of piss at the end of the platform at North Ealing underground station,and the homeless people begging for money outside the station, I arrived at7:10AM to catch the 7:13 train along with other commuters going onto thePiccadilly Line. I waited patiently amongst the crowd on the platform for thetrain to come, and when it did we all went in and people quickly walked alongthe carriage to grab a seat. The train moved and people were either listeningto music, reading the newspaper or on their phones minding their own business,not paying attention to anyone else on the train. You might have a few peopletrying to start conversations with other commuters but if there’s ever aconversation it’s between friends they know of, otherwise,it is rather uneventful for the much of the journey. Everyone is so busy doingtheir own thing, they really don’t care about what’s happening to the personnext to them, they just want to get to work – and that’s me too. We reallyshouldn’t, I think the whole idea of commuting should be fun and sociallyactive but it isn’t. It’s the same faces, same people but we don’t talk to eachother because we are too bothered about ourselves…The trainpulled up slightly late because a passenger was holding up the train for herworkmate to come onto the train, who was running with the all instant coffeeenergy she had with all those bags onto the train. I walked amongst the swarmof commuters to work when I came off at Russell Square underground station, wemoved slowly along the corridors waiting for the commuters with their suitcasesat the front to hurry up. I finally got out and I felt the London breeze on myface and hair as I walked towards the road where the Connexter HQ building was.As I was getting closer to the building I thought about Jack and theconversation I have been planning to have with him for weeks. ‘Jack, I don’tthink this will work. I feel guilty and bad in this relationship, so I want toend it here and now, I hope that’s okay with you’. I practised that line in myhead when I walked into the lift and the doors were closing but a hand quicklyrushed between the doors to open it; it was him. Jack went beside me andpressed floor 28, the doors closed and he looked at me expecting me to lookback. He then put his arm around my shoulder and started to rub it and thenturn me around for a kiss. I pushed him off as a sign to show him I don’t wanthim to do that.“What’swrong Jane?” he asked as if he didn't know why I pushed him off.
    “You know what’s wrong Jack,” I replied in a shaky tone.
    “No, I don’t,” smiling at me.
    “It’s over,” looking away from him.
    “Us? Why?”
    “Why do you ask questions you know the answer to?” the doors opened and Iquickly walked out pushing the handle of my handbag over my shoulder.
    Catching up to me “Because you know the answer to ‘it’s over’,” he said quotingme.I walked tomy office door and struggling to find the keys to my room, and he tapped me onmy shoulder handing over his key to my room.“I don’twant your help” and I continued to search for my keys in the maze of my bag, helooked disappointed that I rejected his offer.After the struggle, I found the keys and quickly openedthe door, to my room. He then went into his room where his secretary wasalready there typing away at the keyboard with her eyes glued to the screen. Hekept looking at me through the glass wall between us grinning. I looked at himbriefly before turning around to hang up my coat, I really don’t want to haveto deal with him again. I have a meeting at 9:00AM with the senior team so I amgoing to have to deal with him on the way there, in the meeting and on the wayback somehow. I just kept my eye glued to my monitor screen and kept typing,not even looking at him once.It was9:00AM… damn it. I got up slowly looking at the meeting room down the oppositeside of the office and walked out of my room towards it with pace. I could hearsteps behind me getting closer and closer and then I felt a slight tap on myshoulder, I didn't turn around. Jack thenran up next to me “Come on Jane let’s talk at least,”
    I stopped walking “Look, I can’t do this any more! Stop following me, stoptalking to me, stop bothering me because I am not interested! Don’t you get themessage?” then I carried on walking with more pace toward the board room to tryand get the eyes of the office off me after my yelling. I walked into the boardroom, shortly followed by Jack, and everyone went silent staring at me – theymust have heard that as well.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Aww man, the formating messed up. I hope you guys don't mind it! Here is a proper one:

    JaneTuesday, 6:34AM
    Beep beep,beep beep… don’t you just hate that? I could have sworn I snoozed that bloodyalarm about 3 times. Once I had the energy to get out of bed, I looked to myright to see if Paul was there, and he was, snoring away. I got up trying tomake the least amount of noise possible into the kitchen where I made a veryimportant decision of either making a bacon butty, or cereal. I looked up atthe clock for a second opinion and the clock disagreed with me as I needed togo to work, so I chose cereal. With the energy I had, I walked to the fridge toget out the milk which was expired yesterday, and poured it into my cereal notworrying about the taste of it. I then heard movements in the bedroom and agroan of fatigue. Paul finally got up out of bed, maybe hearing the noisecreated from me moving, and went into the fridge and grabbed a ready meal.“Morning darling,” I said desperately waiting for him tojust turn around and look at me and say good morning to me.
    After a rather lengthy delay “Morning,”
    “So, what are you eating this morning?” trying to start a conversation.
    “Ready meal,” he replied very briefly. He doesn’t want to talk to me.
    So we atesilently on the 4-chair dining table opposite each other, not looking, notsmiling nor talking - just eating. You could tell by the way he ate his curry n’chips ready meal that he was rather ticked off (which he had been for months)about the person messaging me constantly at night. He’s actually become paranoidabout the phone going off, in a majorargument last night and we both went to sleep with our backs turned to eachother. Well… itgoes like this. For the past three months, I have been seeing my boss, Jack,who I work for at a broadband network company called Connexter. Let me justsay, I don’t want to carry on with this relationship. He always keeps wantingme to divorce Paul and move in with him and ‘start a life’ with him but thething is… Yes I do want a divorce but I don’t ever want to get married ever again because I know I cannot keepa promise of love and trustworthiness, I just can’t. And he just keeps buggingme and constantly coming to my office to talk to me and sending his secretaryto tell me to come to his office. I don’t want to see him! I don’t want to seehim, doesn’t he get the message? Then he gives me this look, he often stares atme, even when I don’t notice it as Millie (co-worker and my best friend) toldme – it is freaking me out a bit… I just feel so guilty and untrustworthy of amarital relationship, that’s why I cannot do that again and especially withhim; it was a mistake to be with him.After Ifinished my cereal I got up and placed it in the sink with the other mountainof plates waiting to be washed. I then walked out of the kitchen, had a shower,brushed my teeth, put my work clothes on and got ready to leave. When I walkedthrough the kitchen to get my coat from the living room, he leaned on thecounter with one hand on the counter and one on his head, waiting for thecoffee machine to finish is coffee. After getting my coat I did the last checkbefore leaving the house to catch the North Ealing tube at 7:13AM. I rememberwhen I locked the door and walked down the road with my trench coat andhandbag, I turned around to look back at the house and I saw him staring at me,then quickly close the curtains as a reaction to me turning around. I am soglad I actually have a job, I would hate having to stay home with him all dayor else we would probably both kill each other.The lovelysmell of piss at the end of the platform at North Ealing underground station,and the homeless people begging for money outside the station, I arrived at7:10AM to catch the 7:13 train along with other commuters going onto thePiccadilly Line. I waited patiently amongst the crowd on the platform for thetrain to come, and when it did we all went in and people quickly walked alongthe carriage to grab a seat. The train moved and people were either listeningto music, reading the newspaper or on their phones minding their own business,not paying attention to anyone else on the train. You might have a few peopletrying to start conversations with other commuters but if there’s ever aconversation it’s between friends they know of, otherwise,it is rather uneventful for the much of the journey. Everyone is so busy doingtheir own thing, they really don’t care about what’s happening to the personnext to them, they just want to get to work – and that’s me too. We reallyshouldn’t, I think the whole idea of commuting should be fun and sociallyactive but it isn’t. It’s the same faces, same people but we don’t talk to eachother because we are too bothered about ourselves…The trainpulled up slightly late because a passenger was holding up the train for herworkmate to come onto the train, who was running with the all instant coffeeenergy she had with all those bags onto the train. I walked amongst the swarmof commuters to work when I came off at Russell Square underground station, wemoved slowly along the corridors waiting for the commuters with their suitcasesat the front to hurry up. I finally got out and I felt the London breeze on myface and hair as I walked towards the road where the Connexter HQ building was.As I was getting closer to the building I thought about Jack and theconversation I have been planning to have with him for weeks. ‘Jack, I don’tthink this will work. I feel guilty and bad in this relationship, so I want toend it here and now, I hope that’s okay with you’. I practised that line in myhead when I walked into the lift and the doors were closing but a hand quicklyrushed between the doors to open it; it was him. Jack went beside me andpressed floor 28, the doors closed and he looked at me expecting me to lookback. He then put his arm around my shoulder and started to rub it and thenturn me around for a kiss. I pushed him off as a sign to show him I don’t wanthim to do that.“What’swrong Jane?” he asked as if he didn’t know why I pushed him off.
    “You know what’s wrong Jack,” I replied in a shaky tone.
    “No, I don’t,” smiling at me.
    “It’s over,” looking away from him.
    “Us? Why?”
    “Why do you ask questions you know the answer to?” the doors opened and Iquickly walked out pushing the handle of my handbag over my shoulder.
    Catching up to me “Because you know the answer to ‘it’s over’,” he said quotingme.
    I walked tomy office door and struggling to find the keys to my room, and he tapped me onmy shoulder handing over his key to my room.“I don’twant your help” and I continued to search for my keys in the maze of my bag, helooked disappointed that I rejected his offer.After the struggle, I found the keys and quickly openedthe door, to my room. He then went into his room where his secretary wasalready there typing away at the keyboard with her eyes glued to the screen. Hekept looking at me through the glass wall between us grinning. I looked at himbriefly before turning around to hang up my coat, I really don’t want to haveto deal with him again. I have a meeting at 9:00AM with the senior team so I amgoing to have to deal with him on the way there, in the meeting and on the wayback somehow. I just kept my eye glued to my monitor screen and kept typing,not even looking at him once.It was9:00AM… damn it. I got up slowly looking at the meeting room down the oppositeside of the office and walked out of my room towards it with pace. I could hearsteps behind me getting closer and closer and then I felt a slight tap on myshoulder, I didn’t turn around. Jack thenran up next to me “Come on Jane let’s talk at least,”
    I stopped walking “Look, I can’t do this anymore! Stop following me, stoptalking to me, stop bothering me because I am not interested! Don’t you get themessage?” then I carried on walking with more pace toward the board room to tryand get the eyes of the office off me after my yelling. I walked into the boardroom, shortly followed by Jack, and everyone went silent staring at me – theymust have heard that as well.
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    Are you an avid reader of thriller stories? If yes, you can based on those books for the things you need. And yes, title page, copyright page are one of those.
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    I must say that was surprisingly good!

    I'm really not just saying that. I was worried it might be poor. But it really wasn't.

    The only obvious edit I saw on the first quick read was the second "ready meal"

    I'm impressed. Well done.
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    (Original post by lostandfound86)
    Are you an avid reader of thriller stories? If yes, you can based on those books for the things you need. And yes, title page, copyright page are one of those.
    I read thrillers from time to time. I like thrillers, it's just some are quite boring and not exciting so I don't really read much now but I am actually reading one currently which has got me back into it Thanks!

    (Original post by moggis)
    I must say that was surprisingly good!

    I'm really not just saying that. I was worried it might be poor. But it really wasn't.

    The only obvious edit I saw on the first quick read was the second "ready meal"

    I'm impressed. Well done.
    You read all of that!? I didn't think anyone was going to ready it. I'm so glad that it's fine for now, that's just a small part of the chapter, I had to redraft it because third person didn't sound nice, I thought first person I would have a lot to write about characters thoughts about other characters in the story. It will get more interesting when she gets murdered though! (I just noticed how horrible that sounds! )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I read thrillers from time to time. I like thrillers, it's just some are quite boring and not exciting so I don't really read much now but I am actually reading one currently which has got me back into it Thanks!
    Wow! Then. that is a good start for you!
 
 
 
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