Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 3 months... Should I call it a day? Watch

    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RugbyFighter)
    To say other things are more important in a relationship than sex is pointless. It's equally as important as other things. Although it really depends on each person.

    It sounds like he's already talked to her anyway.
    I didnt say that sex is not important but lets face it there are bigger problems than lack of sex temporarily. I said that relationships can present other/bigger problems down the line than no sex for a few months ie financial, health problems, childcare. Successful relationships can depend on how well you can solve the problems together and your feelings for each other. If he wasnt going to get sex ever again off her well thats different. She needs to be more honest with him though as it sounds like shes not trying.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I hate these people who try to vilify those that require sex in a relationship. If he didn't talk to her for 3 months there would be no qualms with dumping him so if sex was a part of the relationship and that has been taken off the table it is perfectly reasonable for you to give an ultimatum.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Only call it a day if the sun has truly set.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by indigofox)
    I didnt say that sex is not important but lets face it there are bigger problems than lack of sex temporarily. I said that relationships can present other/bigger problems down the line than no sex for a few months ie financial, health problems, childcare. Successful relationships can depend on how well you can solve the problems together and your feelings for each other. If he wasnt going to get sex ever again off her well thats different. She needs to be more honest with him though as it sounds like shes not trying.
    If you believe certain things are more important than sex then thats fine, but personally and along with other people in this thread sex is vital for a healthy relationship.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Did you used to have sex and then stopped? Or is three months the duration of your relationship?

    Either way, be a grown up and have a conversation.

    Her needs and yours are equally important. It is perfectly reasonable for her to not be comfortable with the possible side effects of contraception. If you want to get laid, that's understandable too.

    You have options - the female condom combined with the male condom? Sex with a condom but only on her least fertile days? More research on the risks and benefits of different forms of contraception (injection, IUD, etc.)

    But you don't make a thread on TSR asking strangers whether or not you should break up with her for not having sex. It's not gentlemanly.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RugbyFighter)
    If you believe certain things are more important than sex then thats fine, but personally and along with other people in this thread sex is vital for a healthy relationship.
    That goes back to my previous point though why not try to work things out first (if he hasn't already) rather than leaving just because he has had no sex. It is important but in relationships temporary sacrifices might have to be made on both parts to get a relationship on track. Like when a woman gets pregnant the guy will often have to go without sex temporarily if it's uncomfortable for her and the women will have to sacrifice her body for 9 months to a fetus lol. I agree sex is obviously vital for a healthy relationship to many people and I think it would be more than fair for him to leave if she was never going to have sex again! But going temporarily without sex for a few months in a serious relationship to sort out some issues I don't think is too much to ask.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haven't had sex with my girlfriend for over 3 months now. The sex started to get irregular at the beginning of last summer - and she said she would see a doctor about contraception. Summer past and she didn't go to the doctor. Sex from summer time became irregular, about once a month and then after Christmas has just stopped completely. She said before Christmas that she would go to the doctor in the Christmas holidays but never did. She would rather go to her own doctor in her home town than the STD clinic where she can get the same thing in her uni town. She says she will go in the Easter holidays - but I have my doubts. She doesn't trust condoms and doesn't want other forms of contraception in case there is any side effects?

    She says she wants to have sex with me but doesn't want to get pregnant?

    Am I selfish if after the Easter holidays if she doesn't want to have sex to call It a day?
    Tell her to stop being crazy and use condoms.

    You gotta be a man and be dominant here brah.

    She is being unreasonable not using condoms. Anyyay in the very slight chance (like 0.5%) the condom were to break, you can just get the morning after pill.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by indigofox)
    That goes back to my previous point though why not try to work things out first (if he hasn't already) rather than leaving just because he has had no sex. It is important but in relationships temporary sacrifices might have to be made on both parts to get a relationship on track. Like when a woman gets pregnant the guy will often have to go without sex temporarily if it's uncomfortable for her and the women will have to sacrifice her body for 9 months to a fetus lol. I agree sex is obviously vital for a healthy relationship to many people and I think it would be more than fair for him to leave if she was never going to have sex again! But going temporarily without sex for a few months in a serious relationship to sort out some issues I don't think is too much to ask.
    Well I couldn't last 3 months without sex in my current relationship, unless there was some kind of medical problem meaning we had to abstain and it wasn't just her choice. Sounds like she's just making excuses though.

    OP really hasn't given enough information though. There's so many things we can just presume which may not be true.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RugbyFighter)
    Well I couldn't last 3 months without sex in my current relationship.
    Are you sure you couldn't or you just wouldn't . Hm well fair do's, maybe it's just me not understanding what it's like to have a good sex drive as I could go a long time without so I guess I'm biased on this topic.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by indigofox)
    Are you sure you couldn't or you just wouldn't . Hm well fair do's, maybe it's just me not understanding what it's like to have a good sex drive as I could go a long time without so I guess I'm biased on this topic.
    There are a lot of things I could go without, I just don't want to go without them, one of which is sex Well everyone's different with what they want, my libido is sky high 24/7.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Goaded)
    i mean personally i think sex is a really important part of a relationship, i think she has insecurities of some sort... i got my first contraception at a sexual health clinic and it was fine so i don't see why she would have issues with that?? idk.

    i'd end it tbh, i like to have sex and i feel good sex is an important foundation for a good and happy relationship
    Every single little word and little letter and sentence is correct.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by urbanlocations)
    Every single little word and little letter and sentence is correct.
    das kool
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    3 months Jesus m8 I would have been out in 3 days, sex is a basic requirement in a relationship, find another girl.
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    You need to sort it out by doing that thing called talking. Its understandably importnat to you, so find out whats happening with her and talk to see if you cna do anything about it. If you cant reach a solution that is realistic, then its your call. I think id have addressed the issue a lot sooner, bit becayse of the sex, but id find it odd when someone kept saying they were going to do something and they did nothing. Poor communication. She must know its not working anyway and would like a friends without benefits.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Do you have any kind of sexual activity at all? (I.e. foreplay)

    I think dumping someone over no sex is very valid. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and normally (in my experience) when the sex stops there is a fundamental problem somewhere in the relationship. The fact that she's talked about going to the doctors a few times now and hasn't gone through with it suggests that she's not all that keen to get things going in the bedroom again.

    Have you really questioned her about it? I suggest you do if not.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You really don't want to end up in a dead bedroom situation. I believe sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship, nothing worse than having months of no sex with your own girlfriend(assuming your sex drive isn't below average) can affect self esteem and lead to resentment further down the line(from constant rejection of sexual advances). I'd say talk her and try to resolve it. Maybe make her see a therapist if necessary. If nothing gets resolved, then the best move is to move on. She'll be happier in a relationship where sex is not as much of a big deal.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Orange s0da)
    I hate these people who try to vilify those that require sex in a relationship. If he didn't talk to her for 3 months there would be no qualms with dumping him so if sex was a part of the relationship and that has been taken off the table it is perfectly reasonable for you to give an ultimatum.
    This. I just dont get how people cannot understand how important sex is to many people. Its the underpinning of most relationships that arent 20 year marriages.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think that sex doesn't matter relationship .Relationship fully mind and sex is a recreation.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    3 months? No chance. You can speak about it all you want, it's clear nothing's changing.

    People can try to vilify those who think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship but they're just sticking their head in the sand.

    It's probably the same people who say no 'porn allowed in a relationship'

    I would end it OP.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 5, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.