I know, why does man become anxious at the wrong time(Original post by Virgili)
Wow you sexist pig, I shouldn't say that pigs have rights too.
I'm trying to make OP feel better about his floppy disk.
Lmao
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samina_ay
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- 06-04-2016 20:36
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unprinted
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- 06-04-2016 21:27
(Original post by Anonymous)
I suppose the issue i'm having is that i still keep thinking about "what if this happens next time? I can't let it happen next time". Even if I tell myself I'm not going to think about it when the time comes, I know I'm going to. I've never had any issues before and now this has happened I'm not sure how I stop it from affecting me.
The plus side is that 'success' - you need to think about what that would be - will greatly reduce the thoughts, so the question is how to get there.
What would take the pressure off you? Being tied up so you're 'not responsible' for what happens? An agreement that you're just going to do other stuff and not have intercourse for a week? (That's a typical sex therapy order, but the expectation is that the clients will ignore it when there's both an erection and desire.) Remembering the times it didn't happen? Focusing on what you're feeling physically at any given moment? Something else? -
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- 06-04-2016 21:28
Anyway, thinking back it wasn't even that I was nervous or anything really. I spent too much time concentrating on her needs and then when I lost it I panicked a little bit and couldn't get going again.
I don't think you understand how frustrating this is. -
samina_ay
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- 06-04-2016 21:31
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well because there is pressure. An erection is kind of instrumental for sex so if there isn't one then it isn't going to happen.
Anyway, thinking back it wasn't even that I was nervous or anything really. I spent too much time concentrating on her needs and then when I lost it I panicked a little bit and couldn't get going again.
I don't think you understand how frustrating this is. -
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- 06-04-2016 21:33
(Original post by unprinted)
Yep, it's a horrible spiral.
The plus side is that 'success' - you need to think about what that would be - will greatly reduce the thoughts, so the question is how to get there.
What would take the pressure off you? Being tied up so you're 'not responsible' for what happens? An agreement that you're just going to do other stuff and not have intercourse for a week? (That's a typical sex therapy order, but the expectation is that the clients will ignore it when there's both an erection and desire.) Remembering the times it didn't happen? Focusing on what you're feeling physically at any given moment? Something else?
I just need to relax. I'm thinking of making sure we have one or two drinks before anything happens (one or two, not so much that I am drunk). I have 2 weeks before I will see her again so I have time to try and forget about it. -
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- 06-04-2016 21:35
(Original post by samina_ay)
I have anxiety myself - so i know how it is. Your gf should do foreplay - so you won't lose it -
Angry Bird
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- 06-04-2016 21:36
take some pre workout, I would recommend jack3d
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samina_ay
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- 06-04-2016 21:40
(Original post by Anonymous)
This is what I think. I mean, am i expected to just get off on kissing and seeing her naked while she probably needs a little bit of help to get off? -
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- 06-04-2016 21:42
(Original post by samina_ay)
I have anxiety myself - so i know how it is. Your gf should do foreplay - so you won't lose it(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't think you understand how frustrating this is. -
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- 06-04-2016 21:43
(Original post by samina_ay)
She needs to help you out.. lol -
samina_ay
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- 06-04-2016 21:45
(Original post by Anonymous)
Do girls need to be asked? The girls I've been with in the past have just went ahead and done things without me asking (at least for the first few times) just like I went down on her without asking. -
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- 06-04-2016 21:52
(Original post by samina_ay)
You ask her haha
I guess we should just have the talk about what we like and I'll bring up that I would like a little bit more foreplay on my end. -
samina_ay
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- 06-04-2016 22:03
(Original post by Anonymous)
I didn't know there were girls who had to be asked to touch my penis during sex, I just assumed they would.
I guess we should just have the talk about what we like and I'll bring up that I would like a little bit more foreplay on my end.
And you tell her that -
unprinted
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- 07-04-2016 10:41
Asking before doing / saying what you'd like to do in a way that it's ok if it doesn't happen / asking for what you want...
... all really useful things to do. -
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- 07-04-2016 14:04
(Original post by unprinted)
Asking before doing / saying what you'd like to do in a way that it's ok if it doesn't happen / asking for what you want...
... all really useful things to do.
Obviously the main issue is me thinking about failing to get it up which will result in me not getting it up again. I need to clear my mind of this. I've been telling myself that I should have no issues in the heat of the moment because I haven't before. I also think I just spent too long focusing on her needs and then panicked when I lost it. I'll just have to hope thinking these things now will help me relax/not think about things when the time comes. -
unprinted
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- 10-04-2016 11:29
People vary. Some like some sexual stuff, some hate it. (I know women who hate receiving oral, for example.) The only way to know is to ask. Some stuff is better asked before starting to do it (anyone sticking their finger in my bum without asking needs to be prepared to have a bad reaction...) and some while doing it ('Is this good? Firmer? Faster?')
Similarly giving feedback about what's being done to you - possibly after having asked for it- will help focus on the sensations rather than over-thinking about the current hardness of your penis.
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- 10-04-2016 12:20
Funny, I created the same thread last week. I had exactly the same problem. I really like the girl too, she's hot as hell but doesn't do much to help (no BJ, hand stuff either). Yeah, we were in the exact same situation.
It's easier said than done but you need to relax. I kind of panicked when I lost it and couldn't think about anything else than getting the erection back lol. That's a terrible idea because if you focus on that, you don't focus on anything else... You're not enjoying anything, so it makes sense it just won't work anymore.
Breathe and stop thinking, just enjoy the moment. -
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- 10-04-2016 12:23
maybe her foof just doesnt do it for you?
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- 10-04-2016 13:14
nah honestly it's nothing to do with not being physically attracted to her
i'm telling myself this was a one-off -
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- 30-04-2016 08:43
it's still an issue
my girl is totally understanding and nice about it but i really don't know how to overcome this
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