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Does being attractive contribute to popularity? Watch

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    #1

    So are people saying it's mostly about confidence? If you work on your confidence, but are still unattractive, would you be able to make friends and sustain relationships as easily as an attractive person?
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    Of course it does.
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    Yeah, I would think so. In today's society, aesthetic beauty is highly regarded in terms of friendship groups, but there's the odd minority who genuinely appreciate a person's personality so don't be friends with people who invite based on your physical attractiveness
    (Original post by samina_ay)
    No - fan of their music lol
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    I've known popular people that are absolute dogs.

    Popularity doesn't always correlate to attractiveness. Personality is one. You can either be a really cool person and everyone likes you because your easy going and a good person to have a conversation with or someone who's always in drama. The latter attracts like minded people. Another thing about these types of people is that they know everyone and their uncle.

    Where are you moving to? It may be best to throw yourself into meeting new people, do some sport to better your wellbeing and health. It's good to love yourself as that inner love radiates outwards - people can tell. Maybe you know them two friends from school and that connection because you spent so much time together doesn't translate outside of it.
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    (Original post by ChillGod)
    I've known popular people that are absolute dogs.

    Popularity doesn't always correlate to attractiveness. Personality is one. You can either be a really cool person and everyone likes you because your easy going and a good person to have a conversation with or someone who's always in drama. The latter attracts like minded people. Another thing about these types of people is that they know everyone and their uncle.

    Where are you moving to? It may be best to throw yourself into meeting new people, do some sport to better your wellbeing and health. It's good to love yourself as that inner love radiates outwards - people can tell. Maybe you know them two friends from school and that connection because you spent so much time together doesn't translate outside of it.
    Thanks, that makes me feel better. I'm definitely going to do a lot of things to meet people. I'm just worried that because of my appearance im going to be left out and isolated again.

    I'm moving to London, so at least there'll be a lot of people there?
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    Pfft the popular ones are always the confident ones. Their confidence makes them seem more attractive but take a step back and you'll realise they are pretty average.

    Be more confident, it's honestly one of the best traits you can have for any situation possible.


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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Selena gomez then, she is a beauty, i have her as my wallpaper background on my phone
    Hmm she's pretty but her face is sooo round and she thinks she's so much better than she actually is.

    Vanessa Hudgens is stunning though!

    The Kardashians are so irritating and entitled that they come across as very unattractive IMO.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm asking this question because I feel like I only have one true friend.

    With my other friends, they never seem to invite me out anywhere (they're all really attractive.) Like they'll act all nice when we're out together, but then they say we'll do things, which don't pan out unless I ask them. For instance, me and these three other girls used to go out together. One of them said she was going to arrange a reunion with us (I knew in the back of my head that I wouldn't be invited, I haven't been invited to several things,) but it still hurt when I saw pictures of them last night, without me. I never got an invite, not like I'm surprised.

    I think this is because I'm very ugly compared to them, and I'm not confident, like them, even though I was a part of the 'original group.' I feel like they don't see me as an equal because of my ugliness.

    I'm moving away soon, but my nightmare is just going to continue because it's not like I can stop being ugly.

    Anyone have any thoughts?
    I bet this has nothing to do with your outer appearance at all! Sometimes friendships do just grow apart. It sounds really upsetting that they don't invite you to things and leave you out, I don't think you should bother with them anymore as they aren't worth your time! It must feel really annoying, especially as you were part of the original group and now feel pushed out. Girls can be really nasty like that. Sometimes they don't even realise they're doing it. I really doubt that you're ugly, I bet you are lovely! Everybody has something beautiful about them and different people find different looks attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. What is it about you that makes you feel ugly? Overweight? Spots? Or you just don't like your face? Because all of these things can be improved. I think the main problem here is a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, which can definitely be changed too!

    I suggest you checkout some self-help books about confidence on Amazon and see if you can start to learn how to build yourself up. Or you could speak to your GP about cognitive behavioural therapy, which will help you challenge these negative doubts you have about yourself (you get referred for a few free sessions and they really can help).

    Hope that at uni you find your feet and meet some lovely friends who are more accepting of you.

    I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling this way, sending you lots of love and hugs!


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    (Original post by KomradeKorbyn)
    Of course, the popular people in school are always the good looking ones, and the ones who get bullied are mostly average looking or ugly, which is why it's always such ******** when you have films like the Carrie remake where the main character gets bullied a ton yet they look like a model.

    Although it does seem a bit different with girls, it seems like sometimes girls who're attractive are bullied by other girls because of jealousy or whatever, but guys would generally not bully attractive girls (because they're attracted to them), whereas guys are bullied based on how masculine they appear or whatever (which generally correlates to attractiveness).

    Edit: actually yeah, what Novascope said is also sometimes true, occasionally average looking people are popular because they have great personalities, but imo most of the time the popular people are the attractive + confident ones.
    I'd say an average looking funny guy has probably the potential to be the most popular because he isn't threatening to other people or other guys. It definatly seems that attractive women get bullied and excluded more by other women because they perceive you as a threat. Attractive men are probably the most popular due to the fact a lot of women want them and guys look up to them? Idk.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm asking this question because I feel like I only have one true friend.

    With my other friends, they never seem to invite me out anywhere (they're all really attractive.) Like they'll act all nice when we're out together, but then they say we'll do things, which don't pan out unless I ask them. For instance, me and these three other girls used to go out together. One of them said she was going to arrange a reunion with us (I knew in the back of my head that I wouldn't be invited, I haven't been invited to several things,) but it still hurt when I saw pictures of them last night, without me. I never got an invite, not like I'm surprised.

    I think this is because I'm very ugly compared to them, and I'm not confident, like them, even though I was a part of the 'original group.' I feel like they don't see me as an equal because of my ugliness.

    I'm moving away soon, but my nightmare is just going to continue because it's not like I can stop being ugly.

    Anyone have any thoughts?
    It's nothing to do with how ugly or whatever you think you are. Friendships naturally drift apart; it's just part and parcel of life. Do you have much in common with them still or have you changed a lot? Either way they sound like they weren't really your friends to start with tbh.

    Ditch them and get some new friends; if someone wants to walk out of your life hold the damn door open for them
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Nickelodeon fan? :holmes:
    Those two are from Disney Channel
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Selena gomez then, she is a beauty, i have her as my wallpaper background on my phone
    yep Justin Bieber is a lucky boy
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    I think it's more about personality; you have to be confident, bubbly, loud etc. In my school, some of the most attractive girls were not popular, and many of the popular girls were not the most attractive (but they were very confident and bubbly).
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    It's mostly about confidence, not looks in my opinion... but also consider that being or FEELING attractive makes you act more confident. It's how you find some individuals who "know" they are "attractive" tend to ooze confidence and gain a lot of popularity because of this. But you can still be popular without the "looks".

    I find popularity is about conforming... at least when your at school. Those popular people all like the same stuff... perhaps vanity related stuff, sports etc or maybe they share similar wealth? But regardless of what it might be... maybe if you look deep enough you can see that actually... you and those girls have very little in common? As others have said... you are growing apart... and it's no good for your confidence if your hanging out with people you have nothing in common with. Maybe you haven't realised it yet... but you need new friends who you can be yourself around. If these girls were really your true buddies you would have ZERO issues with confidence. But you are suffering from low-self esteem so you can find new people who you get on with so well that you never even question how popular you are ever again

    It can be quite a journey though! Finding good friends isn't always easy! But you will get there because you deserve to feel the same confidence those other girls feel and you more then deserve to feel good about yourself xxxx
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    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    Those two are from Disney Channel
    Whoops, you're right. That's the one I remember! I guess Nickelodeon showed Avatar then, at the time.
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    Honestly OP: Don't devote yourself to trying to make friends with the 'popular people'. Nobody cares about popularity once you leave school. Plenty of people don't care about popularity when you're in school. People who are popular are some combination of attractive, confident, funny, and nice. But the people who aren't 'popular' often have those traits as well, sometimes even more so than the popular people, it's just they don't want to be involved with the ********ty popularity contest that is school.

    It's as Moonbrains said: the popular people are boring (generally). They all like the same stuff, they all like what is currently 'in', what everyone else likes. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you don't also like those things then there's no reason to try and 'become' popular by feigning interest in this sorta stuff.

    Make friends with nice people, who you like to talk to and who're nice in return to you. Ignore whether or not they're popular. As soon as you have friends who you like, and who treat you decently (these guys not inviting you to anything sound like dicks), you're not gonna care about popularity, it's just right now if you feel alone then it seems like it would just be so perfect to be one of 'the popular people', but in reality they probably wish they had a few close friends rather than a ton of people who they're 'friends' with but don't know that well.
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    Well it depends.
    Some of the "attractive" girls where popular because they got the most male attention, whilst most were popular because of their loudness/obnoxious personality.
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    Yes it definitely contributes.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    This wasn't about being friends with popular people or anything. This was just for making friends in general, popular or not. I often feel isolated from people because of my looks, so I was wondering if I'd be able to do something more to make friends. Thanks for the responses, very enlightening.
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    (Original post by KomradeKorbyn)
    Honestly OP: Don't devote yourself to trying to make friends with the 'popular people'. Nobody cares about popularity once you leave school. Plenty of people don't care about popularity when you're in school. People who are popular are some combination of attractive, confident, funny, and nice. But the people who aren't 'popular' often have those traits as well, sometimes even more so than the popular people, it's just they don't want to be involved with the ********ty popularity contest that is school.

    It's as Moonbrains said: the popular people are boring (generally). They all like the same stuff, they all like what is currently 'in', what everyone else likes. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you don't also like those things then there's no reason to try and 'become' popular by feigning interest in this sorta stuff.

    Make friends with nice people, who you like to talk to and who're nice in return to you. Ignore whether or not they're popular. As soon as you have friends who you like, and who treat you decently (these guys not inviting you to anything sound like dicks), you're not gonna care about popularity, it's just right now if you feel alone then it seems like it would just be so perfect to be one of 'the popular people', but in reality they probably wish they had a few close friends rather than a ton of people who they're 'friends' with but don't know that well.
    Thanks for the reply!

    But I'm not in school, way past school age, and I'm not so bothered about popularity or being friends with popular people. It was just about making friends in general, popular or not. Everyone is more attractive than me, and I feel that is why I'm isolated and not invited out or part of groups. I just want to be able to make friends and not constantly fret about being the isolated one.
 
 
 
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