Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

being overlooked by the opposite sex Watch

    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Thank you.
    Can I make a honest observation?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I make a honest observation?
    Sure, free country and all that.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Sure, free country and all that.
    Bet you, and I am not trying to flatter you here, if the guys in your class knew you were single, you'd have offers.

    And I do mean that.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bet you, and I am not trying to flatter you here, if the guys in your class knew you were single, you'd have offers.

    And I do mean that.
    Haha thanks.

    Though I'm not actually single at the moment. I was mainly talking about in the past. Though it is still relevant now I suppose, as I never actually talk about my personal life to my classmates so none of them actually know I'm not single yet still make 0 moves towards me. Not that I want them to make a move, I'm happily taken...it's just an observation.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    No I rarely talk about myself. I do ask questions but I don't often engage in conversations even with my friends. it's not because I'm not interested I just struggle to engage and keep up, I can find conversations quite stressful if I don't understand the topic of conversation or don't feel I can involve myself or add anything of use or value to the conversation So I often just stay quiet and only speak when I have something to say.

    Which led to one of my friends in the past always introducing me as "Sophie, the girl who will say nothing. But when she does say something it'll be hilarious". Because I'd usually just try to involve myself by adding quips or banter remarks...I never know what else to say.
    Not talking about yourself can be a problem sometimes, opening up without question is about vulnerability and relation which is important to build trust with people, I learned that from experience after shutting a few people out a few years ago when I refused to tell them anything about me, not surprisingly they didn't trust me and thought I disliked them.

    I think a lot of people mistake being shy and quiet for disinterest and rudeness, or snobbery and superiority, and that makes them feel quite uncomfortable.

    I don't know about in real life but I can say with absolutely certainty that your contributions are valued here, and you shouldn't hesitate to give advice in real life. because someone would definitely appreciate it.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    Tbf I make an effort to look girly but I won't be surprised if people think I am.
    Well I spoke with satire, you definitely don't come across as homosexual. Actually you come across as a hopeless, heterosexual, romantic. I could be wrong though.

    How old are you? Those nerdy girls mature to be the _best_ girlfriends. And I swear, they're the most open minded and inventive in bed too.

    All those girls I used to fancy when I was 14 hahaha I look back and think wow, wtf. But those nerdy girls I used to take the piss out of they all grow up looking so elegant and are so smart and ah...

    Seriously though. It might be that right now. But if it is then you're not at a loss because you're only getting rejected for it by immature guys. More mature guys will probably love it.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Gotta admit, I ain't exactly fighting them off with a stick :\
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Virgili)
    Not talking about yourself can be a problem sometimes, opening up without question is about vulnerability and relation which is important to build trust with people, I learned that from experience after shutting a few people out a few years ago when I refused to tell them anything about me, not surprisingly they didn't trust me and thought I disliked them.

    I think a lot of people mistake being shy and quiet for disinterest and rudeness, or snobbery and superiority, and that makes them feel quite uncomfortable.

    I don't know about in real life but I can say with absolutely certainty that your contributions are valued here, and you shouldn't hesitate to give advice in real life. because someone would definitely appreciate it.

    I don't talk about myself because I don't really get asked I guess. And I think it comes across as a bit self centred to just start talking about yourself if it's not relevant or not prompted with a question or by the topic of conversation. I'm fine with answering questions about myself, just never get asked really.

    Yeah I agree, I think that is a common misconception. Though also people often mistake being quiet for being shy. Despite my anxiety in talking I'm not at all shy, I enjoy being social I just struggled to engage.

    aha, I do try in real life. But people don't often come to me for advice...or anything really. And unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    I don't talk about myself because I don't really get asked I guess. And I think it comes across as a bit self centred to just start talking about yourself if it's not relevant or not prompted with a question or by the topic of conversation. I'm fine with answering questions about myself, just never get asked really.

    Yeah I agree, I think that is a common misconception. Though also people often mistake being quiet for being shy. Despite my anxiety in talking I'm not at all shy, I enjoy being social I just struggled to engage.

    aha, I do try in real life. But people don't often come to me for advice...or anything really. And unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated.
    Sophie, what kind of anxiety? SAD? GAD?

    I have both, kinda makes it tough. For me, its like...driving a car, putting key in ignition, but there is no fuel
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by apronedsamurai)
    Sophie, what kind of anxiety? SAD? GAD?

    I have both, kinda makes it tough. For me, its like...driving a car, putting key in ignition, but there is no fuel
    Social is mostly under control. I never used to be able to deal with socialising but I am doing a lot better now. If you told me 2 years ago I'd be fine with approaching people and talking about coursework now I'd have laughed. But I get on okay now with basic socialising....it's continued social interactions and friendships I struggled with.

    But I do get general anxiety. I get very anxious leaving the house, going to new places, by noises, crowds ect.

    I'm coping though and I manage
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Social is mostly under control. I never used to be able to deal with socialising but I am doing a lot better now. If you told me 2 years ago I'd be fine with approaching people and talking about coursework now I'd have laughed. But I get on okay now with basic socialising....it's continued social interactions and friendships I struggled with.

    But I do get general anxiety. I get very anxious leaving the house, going to new places, by noises, crowds ect.

    I'm coping though and I manage
    likewise.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    likewise.
    We'll get through it.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    We'll get through it.
    Im not complacement tbh. gets me down like. I wana lose all that.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    Im not complacement tbh. gets me down like. I wana lose all that.
    Have you sought help?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    I got overlooked all throughout school. I decided to ask one guy I was fairly close to why once, he said that I had a particular 'stereotype' attached to me that made guys reluctant to be with me.

    You can probably guess what that stereotype is.
    Nerdy girls are the best! (says a nerdy girl... just trying to make myself feel better...:getmecoat:).
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Have you sought help?
    yeh mean like a doctor or whatnot?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    yeh mean like a doctor or whatnot?
    Not necessarily, most universities have a mental health service. Mine provides counselling session for students who feel they need it, whether advised by a doctor or not.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Not necessarily, most universities have a mental health service. Mine provides counselling session for students who feel they need it, whether advised by a doctor or not.
    yeh maybe. word goes around tbh. but I guess mental health has mores respect these days.
    Im not that bad yet.
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well I spoke with satire, you definitely don't come across as homosexual. Actually you come across as a hopeless, heterosexual, romantic. I could be wrong though.

    How old are you? Those nerdy girls mature to be the _best_ girlfriends. And I swear, they're the most open minded and inventive in bed too.

    All those girls I used to fancy when I was 14 hahaha I look back and think wow, wtf. But those nerdy girls I used to take the piss out of they all grow up looking so elegant and are so smart and ah...

    Seriously though. It might be that right now. But if it is then you're not at a loss because you're only getting rejected for it by immature guys. More mature guys will probably love it.
    You're not wrong

    18 aha. That's nice, gives me a bit of hope!

    Same with the guys All the immature ones are well, immature and unattractive now.

    It's only a good thing that I hsve ended up being attracted to older guys as a result :teehee:

    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Nerdy girls are the best! (says a nerdy girl... just trying to make myself feel better...:getmecoat:).
    We're awesome :five:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Oh definitely.

    My friendship group consists of a few girls, which is great, but other than that girls don't notice me. At all. Uh-uh. Which, to be honest, isn't necessarily a bad thing as I wouldn't want them all crowding around me either but, I don't know, just would be nice to catch their attention every now-and-again.

    Shame, but nowt I can do really.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 7, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.