Goodbye, Dad

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEART MY HEART !
Please don't tell me it's true

And it's an amazing read I could feel the emotion omg omg Z you are an excellent writter

Great! you have written the sad situation very well, as if I witnessed as a reader. That was a good short story, compliment to you. What was your inspiration to write about a dying dad?

it's not true haha atleast not for me
it was an entry for that story competition why don't you do one?
awhhhhhhhhhh thank you omg maybe i should believe you guys

(...)
Thanks! Ummm i don't know it was like 4 am and I was thinking of what would be a nice short story to write and that came to mind

By all means this short story was good. Are you planning another ones? would read yours again.

Really?! you would? omg! i might do some after examtime thank you!

OMG z a part of me died reading this <3
Like idk why i got affected over it because well i don't get affected over stuff like that idk if it is because it is you and you have a special place in my heart but omg @z33 that was fantastic and beautiful and should win imho <3

Very touching subject but in all honestly, I don't think it's very well written

As I said, I really would. As I have written short stories almost a year ago, I know how difficult it might be sometimes, especially when waiting for ideas.

@Gingerbread101 tfw a mod edits your OP to plug their competition
Awhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cavy <3 thank you! that's so cute ifjosjgoijf i can't deal

Yeah tbh I don't think so either, it was rushed and there was a 500 word limit so didn't have much to work with idk why everyone's saying it's well written but it's prob to make me feel better or they relate (and they'll get mad at me for pointing it out )

Yeah thank you I'll write some but maybe with a 1000 word limit

Yeah tbh I don't think so either, it was rushed and there was a 500 word limit so didn't have much to work with idk why everyone's saying it's well written but it's prob to make me feel better or they relate (and they'll get mad at me for pointing it out )

(...)
Yeah thank you I'll write some but maybe with a 1000 word limit

Just thought it'd be more beneficial to you if I offered some constructive criticism! Tbf you could probs get away with it at GCSE but probs not at A Level! Try adding some 'fancier' words perhaps

I don't say stuff like this just to make you feel better. It was just very emotive (sure, you didn't have all your techniques in there [where was DAFOREST? ] but it was a great read)

Ooooh and z, if you do post something else, tag me in pretty please! *begs on knees*

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Why are you planning a limit? it is okay, if it is over 1000 words. There are some of mine which really are over it.

I know ahaha i don't do English at A level this was just for a competition on here - link in OP if you wanna enter



ahaha alright i'll be sure to tag you!



Idk short stories gotta be short you know

“Alright honey, Mummy’s going to go get a hot chocolate and come back in a bit, will you be alright?” she pinched my cheeks and gave me a kiss. I smiled and nodded in response, and she left the room. I looked around at the large, white room. I didn’t like it, and I bet dad didn’t either. I looked at him, my father, all wired up. I watched his chest rise and fall with every breath, was he there? Could he hear me?

It’s been months since the car accident and since that day,my dad hasn’t opened his eyes. We didn’t speak much because he was always busy with work. When he wasn’t at work, he was at home in his office doing more work. Occasionally he’d take me out for ice cream, and we’d talk about our dreams and our ambitions. How we’d move to America and buy a beautiful mansion. But now that is impossible. All his dreams have been shattered, his ambitions destroyed.

I’ve visited, and I’ve talked to him every day. About school, about friends, about… my dreams, and my ambitions. I told him about my plans to make it all become a reality, and how I’d make him proud. It seemed like a one-way conversation but in my heart I felt a connection. Today was different though. The doctors said he wouldn’t make it and it was only a matter of time before the life support machine would have to be turned off. Today was the day.

“Dad I’m so sorry to have to do this, but if you can’t comeback we don’t want to trap you and keep you from going into Heaven to be with grandpa. I know how much you miss him. I hope that you understand that this is not goodbye, and I will see you soon when my time comes.” I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes when I swore I saw something. I saw his eyelashes flutter,and I saw his fingers twitch. “DAD! Can you hear me?!” I jumped up and ran to find my mother.

“Mum, mum! I saw Dad move, I saw it with my own eyes he’s still in there! He’s gonna make it!” I smiled. My mother looked at me with tired eyes that instantly welled up, dark circles surrounding them. She put her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. “Mum what’s wrong? Mum…” my lips quivered,“Honey your Daddy wants to be free. God will keep him safe, and He will help us. You’re tired baby, and you’re seeing things.”

I begged and begged her, but she put it down to me not sleeping well, or hallucinating. I was sure I saw him move. But she wouldn’t listen. Maybe it was easier to give up on him. The switch was flicked and it wasn’t instant. “He’s gone” – at last! He’s free. At least he gets a better view of the world from up there. Goodbye, Dad.

*My submission for the Short Story Competition*

I can't.

(...)
Idk short stories gotta be short you know

“Alright honey, Mummy’s going to go get a hot chocolate and come back in a bit, will you be alright?” she pinched my cheeks and gave me a kiss. I smiled and nodded in response, and she left the room. I looked around at the large, white room. I didn’t like it, and I bet dad didn’t either. I looked at him, my father, all wired up. I watched his chest rise and fall with every breath, was he there? Could he hear me?

It’s been months since the car accident and since that day,my dad hasn’t opened his eyes. We didn’t speak much because he was always busy with work. When he wasn’t at work, he was at home in his office doing more work. Occasionally he’d take me out for ice cream, and we’d talk about our dreams and our ambitions. How we’d move to America and buy a beautiful mansion. But now that is impossible. All his dreams have been shattered, his ambitions destroyed.

I’ve visited, and I’ve talked to him every day. About school, about friends, about… my dreams, and my ambitions. I told him about my plans to make it all become a reality, and how I’d make him proud. It seemed like a one-way conversation but in my heart I felt a connection. Today was different though. The doctors said he wouldn’t make it and it was only a matter of time before the life support machine would have to be turned off. Today was the day.

“Dad I’m so sorry to have to do this, but if you can’t comeback we don’t want to trap you and keep you from going into Heaven to be with grandpa. I know how much you miss him. I hope that you understand that this is not goodbye, and I will see you soon when my time comes.” I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes when I swore I saw something. I saw his eyelashes flutter,and I saw his fingers twitch. “DAD! Can you hear me?!” I jumped up and ran to find my mother.

“Mum, mum! I saw Dad move, I saw it with my own eyes he’s still in there! He’s gonna make it!” I smiled. My mother looked at me with tired eyes that instantly welled up, dark circles surrounding them. She put her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. “Mum what’s wrong? Mum…” my lips quivered,“Honey your Daddy wants to be free. God will keep him safe, and He will help us. You’re tired baby, and you’re seeing things.”

I begged and begged her, but she put it down to me not sleeping well, or hallucinating. I was sure I saw him move. But she wouldn’t listen. Maybe it was easier to give up on him. The switch was flicked and it wasn’t instant. “He’s gone” – at last! He’s free. At least he gets a better view of the world from up there. Goodbye, Dad.

*My submission for the Short Story Competition*

@Gingerbread101 tfw a mod edits your OP to plug their competition



Awhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cavy <3 thank you! that's so cute ifjosjgoijf i can't deal



Yeah tbh I don't think so either, it was rushed and there was a 500 word limit so didn't have much to work with idk why everyone's saying it's well written but it's prob to make me feel better or they relate (and they'll get mad at me for pointing it out )



Yeah thank you I'll write some but maybe with a 1000 word limit

was this fiction (if so, you got me)

We do that with all entries so people don't open it and go 'well what am I supposed to do with this?'