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My parents are constantly arguing, they are forgetting about me and I can't cope. Watch

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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    To add to this, if they won't listen to you when you try to talk to them face-to-face, then write down how it makes you feel and put it under their pillows or something, even in a drawer where only they will find it. Curiosity is human nature so I can almost guarantee they'll read it, and you can gauge how you shsould proceed based on their reactions.
    Suppose I did this? Would they care? They would just go along blaming each other. I'll see what happens tonight.



    (Original post by carrotstar)
    I'm sorry that you're in such a challenging situation! Your friends might be able to help you by getting things off your chest? Why can't you go to the doctor or councillor? Your school will have one and they aren't going to do anything unless they think it's necessary. Maybe telling your parents that you're considering talking to social services would give them a wake-up call, actually!
    The thing is I don't feel comfortable talking to teachers. I don't know what they would say. My friends would NOT care. In my school everyone just cares about themselves
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As I said to someone else, it hurts when your mother tells you it's your fault, that if you hadn't been born or whatever she wouldn't feel like this. That she's a saint for putting up with my father. How I should be grateful.

    She said that she's going to bed now. She can't deal with my "attention seeking"
    What was the use in pouring my heart out to a woman that doesn't even care about me?
    I understand how you feel but it sounds like your parents are projecting their sh*t onto you and that is so, so wrong.

    You need to get them both together so they can't keep playing there deflect it onto the other game and make them actually take responsibility.

    PM me if you want. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As I said to someone else, it hurts when your mother tells you it's your fault, that if you hadn't been born or whatever she wouldn't feel like this. That she's a saint for putting up with my father. How I should be grateful.

    She said that she's going to bed now. She can't deal with my "attention seeking"
    What was the use in pouring my heart out to a woman that doesn't even care about me?
    How would you feel if they were to split up? It would end the endless arguments and the blame. Would it hurt you more than the situation you're currently in? If you'd consider it, maybe it's worth challenging them as to why they're still together.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Suppose I did this? Would they care? They would just go along blaming each other. I'll see what happens tonight.

    The thing is I don't feel comfortable talking to teachers. I don't know what they would say. My friends would NOT care. In my school everyone just cares about themselves
    Welcome to the world! Everyone will put themselves first. It's human nature. But caring is also human nature.
    And even if they wouldn't care about the writing, is it not worth a try? If you're not willing to help yourself then it sounds like the situation isn't going to change. YOU are the one with the capability of making a change. Just because you don't currently know how to make it happen doesn't mean you can't make it happen.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    How would you feel if they were to split up? It would end the endless arguments and the blame. Would it hurt you more than the situation you're currently in? If you'd consider it, maybe it's worth challenging them as to why they're still together.
    Ok, well when I was two, my dad did something terrible, it cost him is high ranking position and the chance for me to go to boarding school when I was older. My mother was a foreigner (Iranian). Legally, I am not allowed to live in Iran (her home country) for more than 6 months. She had nothing else to do but to stay with him. She wanted me to get a British education and she thought things would change. Obviously that's not true.

    It's too late now for them to divorce, my mother has nowhere to go in Iran, her parents died, her sister is not in good relations with her. Plus financially they can't divorce.

    But yes, I think that that would help them. They do as well, it's just we can't do that now.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    Welcome to the world! Everyone will put themselves first. It's human nature. But caring is also human nature.
    And even if they wouldn't care about the writing, is it not worth a try? If you're not willing to help yourself then it sounds like the situation isn't going to change. YOU are the one with the capability of making a change. Just because you don't currently know how to make it happen doesn't mean you can't make it happen.
    If caring is human nature, why is my mother saying she doesn't give a damn about my feelings, and that I'm just acting? How could a mother say this? Why does she call me a cheeky brat?

    I go to a single sex school, my friends would hardly be able to give me advice, they have perfectly stable parents.
    That's why I'm asking here.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I understand how you feel but it sounds like your parents are projecting their sh*t onto you and that is so, so wrong.

    You need to get them both together so they can't keep playing there deflect it onto the other game and make them actually take responsibility.

    PM me if you want. :hugs:
    The thing is, I think that that's exactly what they will do. They don't care about me. They care about themselves.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I am 16, I'm going to do my GCSEs in a month, and I'm a good student getting majority A*s. But that's not the point.

    Since I was about 6 years old, I vividly remember my parents screaming at each other, arguing over the smallest of things. And, of course, it's been continuing for the past 10 years. Everything that goes wrong, there's an argument. My father lies, my mother screams at him. And they both take their anger out on me. Like they snap at me, shout at me if I do something wrong, get an A instead of an A*.

    And today, it just reached boiling point. I poured all my feelings to my mother, and she just brushed it off, saying how much she suffers. I told her I haven't had a happy childhood, she says "tell your father". I say, why do you ignore me and snap at me when I talk to you she says, "ask your father".

    I cannot cope anymore. I just want to leave my house, run away. Obviously I can't. Lately I've been getting really depressed (I don't do anything to myself- like cut myself) but I just bottle my feelings up. I pretend to be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I feel like crying...

    My parents don't care, they just care about themselves and their own wellbeing. I don't know what to do anymore.
    sounds like my parents for the last 8 years of my life >.>
    in my situation it's my dad lying and my mum getting shouted at >.>

    sorry this probably isn't the best advice but grow a thick skin and ignore it, i realised that when no-one truly cared about me and was there to support me in boarding school, i then realised no-one cared what i though and who i was i learned to shrug off stupid insulting comment because they meant nothing to me(this also applied to my parents). Personally the way i've dealt with this is to do what makes me happy, such as playing games on my phone or relaxing or even bashing one out. Anything which makes you happy at all try and do it(besides trying to get your family to live harmoniously because that doesn't seem likely in the near future).

    easier than it seems but why do you care about them then? use them for what they're worth and move on to the next stage of your life and forget about it.
    Spoiler:
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    just realised how evil and manipulative that sounded but i guess that's my personality :/
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    Hang in there till you can break free , live your own life and be self sufficient , not to long to go , focus on your exams and remember they are your parents so even if they don't get along they should still treat you well regardless. If it gets too much maybe ask some relatives if you could stay for a few days whilst things settle down ?
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    That's basically what my parents are like. OP are your parents the type you can sit down ans talk to? If so, do that. Tell them how hard it is for you to hear them argue all the time, and it's not normal that they argue so much. I hope your parents can get their **** together. :hugs:
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    (Original post by thefatone)
    x
    You're in boarding school, you don't have to live with them. Put up with their screaming. I try and do what makes me happy, but my mother screams at me to study and revise.
    Despite this I do care about them. I don't know why, but I don't want to hate them. I don't know
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    (Original post by HelloM8)
    Hang in there till you can break free , live your own life and be self sufficient , not to long to go , focus on your exams and remember they are your parents so even if they don't get along they should still treat you well regardless. If it gets too much maybe ask some relatives if you could stay for a few days whilst things settle down ?
    I can't, no

    (Original post by drowzee)
    That's basically what my parents are like. OP are your parents the type you can sit down ans talk to? If so, do that. Tell them how hard it is for you to hear them argue all the time, and it's not normal that they argue so much. I hope your parents can get their **** together. :hugs:
    I'll try and sit them down tonight. But I don't know
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're in boarding school, you don't have to live with them. Put up with their screaming. I try and do what makes me happy, but my mother screams at me to study and revise.
    Despite this I do care about them. I don't know why, but I don't want to hate them. I don't know
    ignore it
    you need to stop caring :/
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    Move out soon

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I am 16, I'm going to do my GCSEs in a month, and I'm a good student getting majority A*s. But that's not the point.

    Since I was about 6 years old, I vividly remember my parents screaming at each other, arguing over the smallest of things. And, of course, it's been continuing for the past 10 years. Everything that goes wrong, there's an argument. My father lies, my mother screams at him. And they both take their anger out on me. Like they snap at me, shout at me if I do something wrong, get an A instead of an A*.

    And today, it just reached boiling point. I poured all my feelings to my mother, and she just brushed it off, saying how much she suffers. I told her I haven't had a happy childhood, she says "tell your father". I say, why do you ignore me and snap at me when I talk to you she says, "ask your father".

    I cannot cope anymore. I just want to leave my house, run away. Obviously I can't. Lately I've been getting really depressed (I don't do anything to myself- like cut myself) but I just bottle my feelings up. I pretend to be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I feel like crying...

    My parents don't care, they just care about themselves and their own wellbeing. I don't know what to do anymore.
    I know what you're going through. My parents have been at each others' throats for as long as I can remember, and it's horrible. It totally ****s with you, and there's so little you can do about it.

    Most important thing is to remember it's never your fault. Kids always blame themselves for their parents' arguing, but that's never ever the case. Don't fall into that trap.

    I found it really helped to find myself a space where I could just get away from them. So I went out as much as I can - I'd revise around friends' houses 'til 6 every day and all day at the weekends - and I got a decent pair of headphones so whenever I was at home, I could stick some music on and not have to deal with the yelling.

    How close are you to them? Cause I became much more detached from my parents as a result of the arguing - and them taking it out on me - and so I actually got better at coping with it over time as I just stopped caring.

    I'm really really sorry you're having to go through this. Just make sure you don't let it affect your studies, cause in two years you'll be out of there and having the time of your life away from all that hassle. If you wanna talk about it, feel free to PM me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you're going through. My parents have been at each others' throats for as long as I can remember, and it's horrible. It totally ****s with you, and there's so little you can do about it.

    Most important thing is to remember it's never your fault. Kids always blame themselves for their parents' arguing, but that's never ever the case. Don't fall into that trap.

    I found it really helped to find myself a space where I could just get away from them. So I went out as much as I can - I'd revise around friends' houses 'til 6 every day and all day at the weekends - and I got a decent pair of headphones so whenever I was at home, I could stick some music on and not have to deal with the yelling.

    How close are you to them? Cause I became much more detached from my parents as a result of the arguing - and them taking it out on me - and so I actually got better at coping with it over time as I just stopped caring.

    I'm really really sorry you're having to go through this. Just make sure you don't let it affect your studies, cause in two years you'll be out of there and having the time of your life away from all that hassle. If you wanna talk about it, feel free to PM me
    yeah...
    my parents dont let me go out
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I am 16, I'm going to do my GCSEs in a month, and I'm a good student getting majority A*s. But that's not the point.

    Since I was about 6 years old, I vividly remember my parents screaming at each other, arguing over the smallest of things. And, of course, it's been continuing for the past 10 years. Everything that goes wrong, there's an argument. My father lies, my mother screams at him. And they both take their anger out on me. Like they snap at me, shout at me if I do something wrong, get an A instead of an A*.

    And today, it just reached boiling point. I poured all my feelings to my mother, and she just brushed it off, saying how much she suffers. I told her I haven't had a happy childhood, she says "tell your father". I say, why do you ignore me and snap at me when I talk to you she says, "ask your father".

    I cannot cope anymore. I just want to leave my house, run away. Obviously I can't. Lately I've been getting really depressed (I don't do anything to myself- like cut myself) but I just bottle my feelings up. I pretend to be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I feel like crying...

    My parents don't care, they just care about themselves and their own wellbeing. I don't know what to do anymore.
    I can relate to this. Infact I wanted to post about it but never got the courage to.

    I have amazing family members but they just fight too much. Everytime I hear them fighting my head hurts so much. I want to hit it hard in wall and sadly I have done this too. I just want to run away like run as fast as possible until I go to open fields and fell off. I hold my hairs way to tight, scream and cry my eyes out. My mental health has been badly effected and they think its a joke and is nothing to worry about.

    My parents, I don't understand them. They immensly love eachother but they have alot of arguments over the people who should mean nothing to them. My mum is so suspicious, she always makes up things from the mid of nowhere like how do you even do that, how your conscience even let you say or even imagine something like this to target my dad. My dad got better priorities, he tends to stay away with his work and friends. So I don't have the family life.

    They seem to be neglecting how this is effecting me. I have lost trust in relationships and I hate it because I shouldn't generalise it.
    None of them even remembered my awards ceremony but everything else like their meetings, meetups and weddings in the next two months (yeah they were talking and planning about it before me). I never had them when I needed a hug and support after winning or losing and when people ask where are my parents, I don't know what to say because I haven't told anyone and I don't want them to know it either. This is the same reason I end up being an antisocial person because when others be talking about family, I'll be making up stuff in my head to make it sound I've a great family life- which is a lie and I don't like it.

    I don't want it to sound like I hate my family, I genuienly miss my family- the cheerish family members who supported eachother.

    I'm in a situation where I'll be doing my final exams in less than 5weeks and due to these fights I can't study at home. I go to library in morning and once its closed I head to coffee shop where I stay up until 23ish and then come home. If not dead silent, I prefer people talking nicely around me than fighting.

    When I ask my parents to why are they doing this to their own kid and can't stop, they'll laugh and say, 'Who fights? We don't! We just talk about things.' They even fight before guests regardless of if we go to theirs or they are at ours (yes this is super embarassing).

    I was an A* student but now my studies have gone downhill and I struggle to keep up with it. I have applied to all universities far away of my city so looking forward to give a fresh start in September.

    Hopefully this will help both of us realise eachother's importance and get things back on track.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Also I noticed I've been getting really bad stomach cramps, or cramps in my sides. I think that this is starting to affect my health.
    So I completely understand what you're going through. Remember all you got are these couple of 5weeks to change what you're going through. It's temporary and hopefully it'll fine (or maybe realistically it won't). Just don't give up because then there won't be any difference between you and your parents. You have to do it for yourself and you can't let anyone stop you from achieving what you want to be by the end of the end. Good luck
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    (Original post by darkvibes)
    Why im saying leave it is because any drastic action that you take is likely to affect your grades. In the future, you will regret it if you fail your GCSEs. Just put up with it until GCSEs are over and keep yourself emotionally stable.

    If it is a problem, take action after exams, thats what i would say.
    why should op have to put up with it until his exams are over? that's not fair on him


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    op have you thought about family therapy?


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