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Is a 9 year age gap too big? Watch

    • #5
    #5

    I know someone who was in a similar situation as you.
    He became the babysitter while she went to work, and her toyboy until she was bored and dumped him.

    IMO (I could be wrong), as someone mentioned above, it sounds like she wants a bit on the side.
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    To be honest it's hard to give much advice without really knowing anything about either of you. It's not a massive age gap in the grand scheme of things but you should be prepared for the fact that she'll (presumably) put her child before any partner. Do you think she is seriously interested in you or just enjoying being able to flirt with someone? What would you be looking for from her - do you want a quick fling or are you looking for a serious relationship?
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    It's not just the age imo. If it was just a case of you're 22 and 31, no kids involved, then yeah, maybe go for it. For me, it's the fact that there's a child involved too.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by guilbert)
    To be honest it's hard to give much advice without really knowing anything about either of you. It's not a massive age gap in the grand scheme of things but you should be prepared for the fact that she'll (presumably) put her child before any partner. Do you think she is seriously interested in you or just enjoying being able to flirt with someone? What would you be looking for from her - do you want a quick fling or are you looking for a serious relationship?
    I do think she is interested in me because we don't flirt all the time, when we speak it's about practically anything else like what we've been up to, how we both are, how here kid is doing etc. I am looking for a serious relationship I've not felt this way about anyone for a long time (I've not told her that though).
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    I was in a similar situation - met my boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 34, after he had only just separated from his wife. They also have two children together. We've been together for three years now.

    If you really like her, I would say it is worth a shot. Don't worry too much about the age gap - it really doesn't matter in the end. However, be realistic, and honest with yourself how you feel about her having a child. Have you met him/her yet? I found it can be quite full-on, but ultimately very rewarding. But it's an important part of making the relationship work.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by rotkäppchen)
    I was in a similar situation - met my boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 34, after he had only just separated from his wife. They also have two children together. We've been together for three years now.

    If you really like her, I would say it is worth a shot. Don't worry too much about the age gap - it really doesn't matter in the end. However, be realistic, and honest with yourself how you feel about her having a child. Have you met him/her yet? I found it can be quite full-on, but ultimately very rewarding. But it's an important part of making the relationship work.
    To play step-mum/step-dad?

    No thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few months ago I met a woman who is 9 years older than me and is a mum to a 5 year old, I'm she's 31, we hit it off straight away we and both admitted that we have a connection when we talk. She was married at the time and I quickly realised that I really like her but I never said anything. Anyway just after Christmas she told me that her and and husband had seperated but they only stayed together over Christmas for the sake of the kid and I was kind of there as a shoulder to cry on and I noticed after that the way she talked to me changed, she was getting flirty and giving me compliments about the way I look which she hadn't done before.

    In the past few months we haven't spoken as much do to us both being really busy but when we have spoken she's said she's missed talking to me, we also live nearly 2 hours away from each other so meeting up isn't easy so we speak on skype and Facebook and things like that.

    What should I do? Should I tell her that I like her even though there is such a big age gap?
    Depends. Bit of fun? Explain that to her. Relationship and becoming daddy? Your call
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    actually depends...

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To play step-mum/step-dad?

    No thank you.
    It's not for everyone. In which case, it's easy enough to not get involved with single mums / dads.

    Trying to initiate a (serious) relationship with a single parent whilst at the same time trying to not be involved with the kid is just asking for trouble.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by rotkäppchen)
    I was in a similar situation - met my boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 34, after he had only just separated from his wife. They also have two children together. We've been together for three years now.

    If you really like her, I would say it is worth a shot. Don't worry too much about the age gap - it really doesn't matter in the end. However, be realistic, and honest with yourself how you feel about her having a child. Have you met him/her yet? I found it can be quite full-on, but ultimately very rewarding. But it's an important part of making the relationship work.
    If I am honest I don't think it bothers me too much about her having a child because she didn't tell me straight away that she had a kid but when she did tell me it didn't really affect how I felt for her. I haven't met her kid yet but she talks about her often enough for me know stuff about her and to be able to get along with her I think.

    How have you made your relationship work and did anyone say anything to you about the age gap?
    • #6
    #6

    Age is just a number.

    If you like her then go for it. Nothing worse then looking back and thinking what could have been had you taken the chance.

    Theres a 17 year gap between me and my gf and tbh we dont even notice it as we have the same interests, hobbies and just connect properly and if anyone was to see us they wouldnt even guess theres a difference as she only looks a few years older.
    we've been together almost 2 years and not had any issues.
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    Sometimes I feel like i'm in my 40s yeh, all that cynicism and conservative attire / values
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So you think I should tell her? I would like to make a go of things but I am bothered about what she and others might think about the age gap.
    yeah go for it.
    yolo sure.
    f*** the haters
    que sera sera
    gizelle xox
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few months ago I met a woman who is 9 years older than me and is a mum to a 5 year old, I'm she's 31, we hit it off straight away we and both admitted that we have a connection when we talk. She was married at the time and I quickly realised that I really like her but I never said anything. Anyway just after Christmas she told me that her and and husband had seperated but they only stayed together over Christmas for the sake of the kid and I was kind of there as a shoulder to cry on and I noticed after that the way she talked to me changed, she was getting flirty and giving me compliments about the way I look which she hadn't done before.

    In the past few months we haven't spoken as much do to us both being really busy but when we have spoken she's said she's missed talking to me, we also live nearly 2 hours away from each other so meeting up isn't easy so we speak on skype and Facebook and things like that.

    What should I do? Should I tell her that I like her even though there is such a big age gap?
    like they say bigger is better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A few months ago I met a woman who is 9 years older than me and is a mum to a 5 year old, I'm she's 31, we hit it off straight away we and both admitted that we have a connection when we talk. She was married at the time and I quickly realised that I really like her but I never said anything. Anyway just after Christmas she told me that her and and husband had seperated but they only stayed together over Christmas for the sake of the kid and I was kind of there as a shoulder to cry on and I noticed after that the way she talked to me changed, she was getting flirty and giving me compliments about the way I look which she hadn't done before.

    In the past few months we haven't spoken as much do to us both being really busy but when we have spoken she's said she's missed talking to me, we also live nearly 2 hours away from each other so meeting up isn't easy so we speak on skype and Facebook and things like that.

    What should I do? Should I tell her that I like her even though there is such a big age gap?
    tbh hun , I don't think this will work out after reading the full story. - side note I didn't read the full story at the start. sorry my love
    gizelle xox
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    awww this is very romantic ? as long as you are in a loving relationship age is irrelevant
 
 
 
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