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    (Original post by defenestrated)
    thank youu for the tag @TheOtherSide.
    sickkk tag fam
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
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    This is so moving :congrats::congrats::congrats:
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    This is incredible!
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    Tfw you were the person who suggested Axel did the story in the first place :moon:
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Tfw you were the person who suggested Axel did the story in the first place :moon:
    :dancing:
    :dance: :dance:
    :jumphug: :jumphug:
    :jumphug: :jumphug:

    :ahee: !!!
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    This is really good! :congrats:
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    (Original post by defenestrated)
    yoooo this is so good omg!!

    the idea of this story is so cute and the way you write is amazing, it makes it really emotional without having to actually say much AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE ENDING DRAMATIC AF it makes me happy

    thank youu for the tag @TheOtherSide.
    Hiyyaaa!
    :excited: Thank you so much for the think words, those are what make me want to write more
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    (Original post by Lord Samosa)
    This is really good! :congrats:
    (Original post by iEthan)
    This is incredible!
    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    This is so moving :congrats::congrats::congrats:
    Thank you so much guys ^___^ :woo:
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    I was actually able to rep you!
    I STILL CAN'T

    (Original post by zanner)
    sickkk tag fam
    Omg lol oops how did that even happen
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    (Original post by defenestrated)
    t makes it really emotional without having to actually say much AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE ENDING DRAMATIC AF it makes me happy
    (Original post by zanner)
    but omfg i just read this its actualyl sick though on a level like THE PART I QUOTED MADE ME SHIVER LIKE YO WTF AXEL THIS IS SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    I dunno, I just liked the whole story and everything, and just how nice your writing style is.
    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    This is so moving :congrats::congrats::congrats:
    A little insight to this story!!

    Ok so at first it was set in a concentration camp but because of the word limit I couldn't effectively describe the concentration camp. So I changed the setting to the Warsaw Ghetto as I guess a cityscape is easier to visualise. So I made a vague description of the ghetto itself but I used the title strategically to ensure that you already had a city in your mind.

    Haha it had to go through quite a few redrafts haha. Essentially this bit is the end of the main story I had in mind. So the Main Character of this story along with his daughters Shira and Noa, would arrive at a concentration camp. Then they would essentially have to survive. As mentioned before in the line:

    "If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive."

    The Main Character (he doesn't have a name yet ) is still guilt ridden over the death of his wife and the capture of him and his daughters due to the Main Character not listening to his wife Sarah. Now when in the camp, he's determined not to let his two daughters die. So the bulk of the story is him trying to keep his daughters safe from others, while also plotting an escape, while also getting money to bribe the guards so they wouldn't choose any of them to be killed in gas chambers.

    And the things he does and the choices he makes will be controversial in a sense, but it will make you reflect on how horrible the holocaust actually was. And like proper hit you at how evil the Nazis were, because I find it disgusting that Neo-Nazism is even a thing .

    I dunno, I have dreams that my books may become big and have an effect in the world :moon:. Maybe the current Neo-Nazis are beyond saving, but I would hope that when I write this story fully, and if it gets well known, it would maybe reach to a person considering that ******** and hopefully make them turn away from it.

    Very unlikely I know, but hey I like to dream big
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    Excellent.
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    (Original post by jla7)
    Excellent.
    Cheers man, I dunno whether to rep you or not haha, I guess you want to conserve that red gem. So thank you!
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    A little insight to this story!!

    Ok so at first it was set in a concentration camp but because of the word limit I couldn't effectively describe the concentration camp. So I changed the setting to the Warsaw Ghetto as I guess a cityscape is easier to visualise. So I made a vague description of the ghetto itself but I used the title strategically to ensure that you already had a city in your mind.

    Haha it had to go through quite a few redrafts haha. Essentially this bit is the end of the main story I had in mind. So the Main Character of this story along with his daughters Shira and Noa, would arrive at a concentration camp. Then they would essentially have to survive. As mentioned before in the line:

    "If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive."

    The Main Character (he doesn't have a name yet ) is still guilt ridden over the death of his wife and the capture of him and his daughters due to the Main Character not listening to his wife Sarah. Now when in the camp, he's determined not to let his two daughters die. So the bulk of the story is him trying to keep his daughters safe from others, while also plotting an escape, while also getting money to bribe the guards so they wouldn't choose any of them to be killed in gas chambers.

    And the things he does and the choices he makes will be controversial in a sense, but it will make you reflect on how horrible the holocaust actually was. And like proper hit you at how evil the Nazis were, because I find it disgusting that Neo-Nazism is even a thing .

    I dunno, I have dreams that my books may become big and have an effect in the world :moon:. Maybe the current Neo-Nazis are beyond saving, but I would hope that when I write this story fully, and if it gets well known, it would maybe reach to a person considering that ******** and hopefully make them turn away from it.

    Very unlikely I know, but hey I like to dream big
    I think you should really expand on this short story. Its clear that you have loads of AMAZING ideas, and I think you can potentially turn this into something PHENOMENAL :yep:
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    A little insight to this story!!

    Ok so at first it was set in a concentration camp but because of the word limit I couldn't effectively describe the concentration camp. So I changed the setting to the Warsaw Ghetto as I guess a cityscape is easier to visualise. So I made a vague description of the ghetto itself but I used the title strategically to ensure that you already had a city in your mind.

    Haha it had to go through quite a few redrafts haha. Essentially this bit is the end of the main story I had in mind. So the Main Character of this story along with his daughters Shira and Noa, would arrive at a concentration camp. Then they would essentially have to survive. As mentioned before in the line:

    "If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive."

    The Main Character (he doesn't have a name yet ) is still guilt ridden over the death of his wife and the capture of him and his daughters due to the Main Character not listening to his wife Sarah. Now when in the camp, he's determined not to let his two daughters die. So the bulk of the story is him trying to keep his daughters safe from others, while also plotting an escape, while also getting money to bribe the guards so they wouldn't choose any of them to be killed in gas chambers.

    And the things he does and the choices he makes will be controversial in a sense, but it will make you reflect on how horrible the holocaust actually was. And like proper hit you at how evil the Nazis were, because I find it disgusting that Neo-Nazism is even a thing .

    I dunno, I have dreams that my books may become big and have an effect in the world :moon:. Maybe the current Neo-Nazis are beyond saving, but I would hope that when I write this story fully, and if it gets well known, it would maybe reach to a person considering that ******** and hopefully make them turn away from it.

    Very unlikely I know, but hey I like to dream big
    this has so much potential!! and that's a cute af goal, you definitely have the talent to make it happen
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    I was on a path taken by many, though I wouldn’t be the last. My tracks would soon be erased by the next person. With an arm under each of my shoulders, I was being dragged along by two guards that I had no strength left to oppose.

    The wind and snow hit the gashes sprawled across my body. The agony of the presence of what once comforted me was unbearable.

    My saving grace was the frostbite that had long gotten to my limbs. All that was felt was a dull throbbing that could even be described as pleasurable, compared to everything else.

    My body had served me well; I had used everything it could give me to fight for their freedom. To make sure they would live to see a better world.

    Shira. Noa.

    The mere thought of them soothed my pain. My only regret was that their last memory of me wasn’t one of jubilation and bliss.

    I remembered their faces the moment they realised that I couldn’t come with them. I always said they were too smart for their age.

    Refusing to leave their father, their realisation almost jeopardised their escape. But then again, I guess that’s on you isn't it? You always pushed them further.

    They didn’t want to lose me like we lost their mother. But in the end, all I could do was kiss them and run away to divert the SS.

    Sorrow crept onto me as tears of guilt began to form. If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive. The tears meandered down my face before falling to the ground, joining countless others.

    Sarah.

    I was thrown into a line of men against a wall, with a firing squad aiming their rifles at us.

    “Kneel and face the wall” barked one from behind me.

    I hit the pavement, my face scraping against the rocks and shards of broken glass. Then I raised my torso off the ground.

    But at least they won’t pay for my mistake.

    I knelt, facing the wall.

    They’re safe now.

    The wind whirled around me, I lowered my head.

    I’ve done my job.

    The sounds died down as I closed my eyes one final time. There I knelt, awaiting my reunion with Sarah.

    ~

    “Rise”

    Turning my head to the origin of the voice, I opened my eyes and saw an old man standing tall, refusing to bow down. In him, I saw a pride that I had lost.

    Around me, I witnessed each prisoner refusing to lie down and die. The carnage may have surrounded them but they didn’t cower in the face of inhumanity. Instead of fear in their eyes; I saw a dignity that I had forgotten.

    I remembered my worth and vowed to never close my eyes again.

    So I rose up and also stood tall, with my people, and stared down the barrels pointed at us.

    One last act of defiance.

    ================================ =
    My submission for the Short Story Competition:
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=3991411

    I included the ' ~ ' used in my word count, which I'm happy to say is 500.
    Oh my :cry2:
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    (Original post by defenestrated)
    this has so much potential!! and that's a cute af goal, you definitely have the talent to make it happen
    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    I think you should really expand on this short story. Its clear that you have loads of AMAZING ideas, and I think you can potentially turn this into something PHENOMENAL :yep:
    :nutcase:

    :jumphug: Guys.. I'm honoured you think that way of me :ahee:

    - - -
    (Original post by ravioliyears)
    Oh my :cry2:
    Hi Ravioli!

    Thank you
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    A little insight to this story!!

    Ok so at first it was set in a concentration camp but because of the word limit I couldn't effectively describe the concentration camp. So I changed the setting to the Warsaw Ghetto as I guess a cityscape is easier to visualise. So I made a vague description of the ghetto itself but I used the title strategically to ensure that you already had a city in your mind.

    Haha it had to go through quite a few redrafts haha. Essentially this bit is the end of the main story I had in mind. So the Main Character of this story along with his daughters Shira and Noa, would arrive at a concentration camp. Then they would essentially have to survive. As mentioned before in the line:

    "If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive."

    The Main Character (he doesn't have a name yet ) is still guilt ridden over the death of his wife and the capture of him and his daughters due to the Main Character not listening to his wife Sarah. Now when in the camp, he's determined not to let his two daughters die. So the bulk of the story is him trying to keep his daughters safe from others, while also plotting an escape, while also getting money to bribe the guards so they wouldn't choose any of them to be killed in gas chambers.

    And the things he does and the choices he makes will be controversial in a sense, but it will make you reflect on how horrible the holocaust actually was. And like proper hit you at how evil the Nazis were, because I find it disgusting that Neo-Nazism is even a thing .

    I dunno, I have dreams that my books may become big and have an effect in the world :moon:. Maybe the current Neo-Nazis are beyond saving, but I would hope that when I write this story fully, and if it gets well known, it would maybe reach to a person considering that ******** and hopefully make them turn away from it.

    Very unlikely I know, but hey I like to dream big
    Please do expand on this! I think it'd be great if you could write more about this whole topic. :yep:
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    :nutcase:

    :jumphug: Guys.. I'm honoured you think that way of me :ahee:

    - - -

    Hi Ravioli!

    Thank you
    Hi Axel! That's no problem. Hope you're well
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Please do expand on this! I think it'd be great if you could write more about this whole topic. :yep:
    :mmm: :woo: Will do after exams

    (Original post by ravioliyears)
    Hi Axel! That's no problem. Hope you're well
    Mhmm, I'm doing fab. How are you doing?
 
 
 
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