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How have you made friends at university? watch

  • View Poll Results: What ways have you made friends at university?
    University halls
    30
    42.25%
    Private halls
    1
    1.41%
    Privately rented flat/houseshare
    2
    2.82%
    Lectures, classes and/or tutorials
    41
    57.75%
    University library
    5
    7.04%
    Sports and societies
    28
    39.44%
    Nights out
    18
    25.35%
    Part time work
    8
    11.27%
    Volunteering
    7
    9.86%
    Through other university friends
    24
    33.80%
    Other (please state)
    4
    5.63%
    I haven't really made any friends at university
    14
    19.72%

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    I voted

    University halls,
    Lectures,
    Classes and/or tutorials,
    Sports and societies,
    Nights out,
    Part time work,
    Volunteering
    Through other university friends

    I would also add the gym.

    I left the country quite soon after graduating so staying close friends with a lot of people was difficult. But I have maintained close friendships with 6-7 of them, all of whom I met through halls/living together or the sports club I was heavily involved with.

    I have varying levels of online contact every now and then with other people from the sports club/gym/part time work and friends of friends, etc. There are plenty of people I lost touch with altogether too. Especially the people from my course who I rarely speak with now, although I'd happily do so. Everyone kind of disperses after uni so geographically it's obviously hard unless you really make an effort.

    Honestly I'm not sure there's any one place or method that makes it easier, I think it's just about being involved in things and being confident and talkative.
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    Well, lectures etc is in the lead so far. That's making me slightly reconsider the distance learning route, as it's not so easy to make friends from just online forums.
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    (Original post by e aí rapaz)
    I voted

    University halls,
    Lectures,
    Classes and/or tutorials,
    Sports and societies,
    Nights out,
    Part time work,
    Volunteering
    Through other university friends

    I would also add the gym.

    I left the country quite soon after graduating so staying close friends with a lot of people was difficult. But I have maintained close friendships with 6-7 of them, all of whom I met through halls/living together or the sports club I was heavily involved with.

    I have varying levels of online contact every now and then with other people from the sports club/gym/part time work and friends of friends, etc. There are plenty of people I lost touch with altogether too. Especially the people from my course who I rarely speak with now, although I'd happily do so. Everyone kind of disperses after uni so geographically it's obviously hard unless you really make an effort.

    Honestly I'm not sure there's any one place or method that makes it easier, I think it's just about being involved in things and being confident and talkative.
    To be honest, I never really get how people manage to make friends in the gym. In my experience, nobody talks to each other, everyone just keeps to themselves and only concentrates on getting fit. Maybe that's just me though. Thanks for your reply
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    To be honest, I never really get how people manage to make friends in the gym. In my experience, nobody talks to each other, everyone just keeps to themselves and only concentrates on getting fit. Maybe that's just me though. Thanks for your reply
    It's probably more common if you lift, I guess. I don't really know how it works but I've always made friendships at every gym I've been a regular at. When you see the same people every day, somebody inevitably strikes up a conversation at some point.
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    At least I now know I was probably going wrong with private halls :lol:.

    Please keep on voting if you've only just seen this thread. The bigger the data sample the better :yep:
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    Part-time job in a nightclub gave me such social scene I've never experienced previously! Something about working together really brings people together, that and film society!
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    I can understand getting on with people in lectures, etc, but do you actual meet up with them outside of these things too to do social stuff? How exactly do you go about taking the friendship to that level?
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    Personally I did nothing. My whole life I'd "make" friends by eventually getting talked at by someone and they would usually persist until I'd start replying. Though at uni I was feeling lonely so when someone finally talked to me I was happy to reply even though I suck at conversation. And through them I met more and more people because they obviously had their friends group, and people in that group had more friends.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I can understand getting on with people in lectures, etc, but do you actual meet up with them outside of these things too to do social stuff? How exactly do you go about taking the friendship to that level?
    Yeah, I actually live with some coursemates. It's like with making friends in any aspect at uni-when you meet up with them in class, you ask them if they want to hang out after class. It's nowhere near as hard as people think. I'm the most socially awkward person ever but I'm crazy popular at uni because I made the effort to hang out with people and ask them to do things outside times we'd normally meet.

    You are setting yourself up for serious difficulty in terms of making friends by doing distance learning because you just won't have the same exposure to other people you would doing a degree at a normal uni. What's making you want to do distance learning instead of completely immersing yourself in uni life? Uni's about more than just getting the degree
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    The only time when I made friends was helping my peers in a difficult module.

    We still keep in touch now, so that's a good thing.
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Yeah, I actually live with some coursemates. It's like with making friends in any aspect at uni-when you meet up with them in class, you ask them if they want to hang out after class. It's nowhere near as hard as people think. I'm the most socially awkward person ever but I'm crazy popular at uni because I made the effort to hang out with people and ask them to do things outside times we'd normally meet.

    You are setting yourself up for serious difficulty in terms of making friends by doing distance learning because you just won't have the same exposure to other people you would doing a degree at a normal uni. What's making you want to do distance learning instead of completely immersing yourself in uni life? Uni's about more than just getting the degree
    Thanks for your input.

    Thing is, I find it difficult to make friends anyway even when surrounded by people. Have struggled so far to meet likeminded people at college, private halls and even my summer camp job one summer, to the point where I'd get severely depressed and then not be able to do so well at my work. Uni seems like a big gamble, because I could go with the hope of making friends, but then fail at that and get depressed from the loneliness as well as depressed from not having as much money as I would from a full time job. My thinking is that if I work full time, at least I'll have money to go on occasional backpacking trips where I know from experience that it's generally easy to make friends, as well get started with my career already.

    I suppose I could go to uni just to try it, and if it really doesn't work out, then just drop out and go back to my plan of working full time. Dropping out would be best avoided though if I could, so I'm really trying to make the right decision. My boyfriend is my best friend and he's a working class manual labour kinda guy, so I also wonder if maybe students just aren't really my sort of people to be around? Blah, I dunno
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Thanks for your input.

    Thing is, I find it difficult to make friends anyway even when surrounded by people. Have struggled so far to meet likeminded people at college, private halls and even my summer camp job one summer, to the point where I'd get severely depressed and then not be able to do so well at my work. Uni seems like a big gamble, because I could go with the hope of making friends, but then fail at that and get depressed from the loneliness as well as depressed from not having as much money as I would from a full time job. My thinking is that if I work full time, at least I'll have money to go on occasional backpacking trips where I know from experience that it's generally easy to make friends, as well get started with my career already.

    I suppose I could go to uni just to try it, and if it really doesn't work out, then just drop out and go back to my plan of working full time. Dropping out would be best avoided though if I could, so I'm really trying to make the right decision. My boyfriend is my best friend and he's a working class manual labour kinda guy, so I also wonder if maybe students just aren't really my sort of people to be around? Blah, I dunno
    I had a very similar situation when I was at school and 6th form. I was surrounded by absolutely vile people for the entire 7 years and I was systematically isolated and picked on by my peers. This caused me to be suicidal.

    However, coming to uni, I just threw myself into things-I did things with both my flatmates and coursemates (they'll be your first point of contact as they're more often than not the first people you meet) and joined a society for an activity I absolutely loved.

    Due to my experience at school, I was an absolute nervous wreck and had the same fears you do-I still do now actually. However, the vast majority of people at uni are genuinely nice people. You just have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and talk to people. Making friends at uni takes time-you're not going to meet your BFFs in the first week, but if you keep at it, you should have a good friendship group made up within the first semester easily


    Also, it might be worth going on Facebook and finding newcomers groups for the uni you're applying to so you can find people to talk to before you move. If you're anything like me, knowing people a bit before you go can make the whole process a lot less daunting
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    I had a very similar situation when I was at school and 6th form. I was surrounded by absolutely vile people for the entire 7 years and I was systematically isolated and picked on by my peers. This caused me to be suicidal.

    However, coming to uni, I just threw myself into things-I did things with both my flatmates and coursemates (they'll be your first point of contact as they're more often than not the first people you meet) and joined a society for an activity I absolutely loved.

    Due to my experience at school, I was an absolute nervous wreck and had the same fears you do-I still do now actually. However, the vast majority of people at uni are genuinely nice people. You just have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and talk to people. Making friends at uni takes time-you're not going to meet your BFFs in the first week, but if you keep at it, you should have a good friendship group made up within the first semester easily
    Sorry to hear about your sad experiences at school . I forgot to mention, I struggled socially at school too. I wonder if I do have a problem, which is why I've recently started going to counselling, to see if it'll help with anything. I suppose I do still have a few months to really make up my mind, but your comments give me some hope, thanks
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Also, it might be worth going on Facebook and finding newcomers groups for the uni you're applying to so you can find people to talk to before you move. If you're anything like me, knowing people a bit before you go can make the whole process a lot less daunting
    I am already in a newcomers group for my prospective uni on Facebook. I don't wanna hold up too much hope that it would help much though. I've been in a Facebook group for my halls, and whenever I've posted asking if anyone wanted to hang out, no one has replied . I honestly don't really understand how to go about this friendship stuff, and it stresses me out. I don't know if uni will help, but we'll see.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I am already in a newcomers group for my prospective uni on Facebook. I don't wanna hold up too much hope that it would help much though. I've been in a Facebook group for my halls, and whenever I've posted asking if anyone wanted to hang out, no one has replied . I honestly don't really understand how to go about this friendship stuff, and it stresses me out. I don't know if uni will help, but we'll see.
    Obviously if it's a prospective group, no one's going to want to hang out now, as so one will be in the city to do anything! Ultimately, when you get to uni, you want to try and get away from the group chat and hang out with real people. You'll never make friends if you never get off your computer!

    It is stressful at the start, but if you never push yourself out of your comfort zone, you'll never grow as a person. Employers expect high levels of soft skills and interpersonal relationships and good grades will never make up for a lack of being able to interact. Uni's the best place to develop these skills in a relatively safe environment. You just can't let your nerves get to you, otherwise you'll never be successful
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Thanks for your input.

    Thing is, I find it difficult to make friends anyway even when surrounded by people. Have struggled so far to meet likeminded people at college, private halls and even my summer camp job one summer, to the point where I'd get severely depressed and then not be able to do so well at my work. Uni seems like a big gamble, because I could go with the hope of making friends, but then fail at that and get depressed from the loneliness as well as depressed from not having as much money as I would from a full time job. My thinking is that if I work full time, at least I'll have money to go on occasional backpacking trips where I know from experience that it's generally easy to make friends, as well get started with my career already.

    I suppose I could go to uni just to try it, and if it really doesn't work out, then just drop out and go back to my plan of working full time. Dropping out would be best avoided though if I could, so I'm really trying to make the right decision. My boyfriend is my best friend and he's a working class manual labour kinda guy, so I also wonder if maybe students just aren't really my sort of people to be around? Blah, I dunno
    So friends are what drive you to stay at uni and pursue a degree?

    This seems like some sort of market research if anything.
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    (Original post by 0xygen)
    So friends are what drive you to stay at uni and pursue a degree?

    This seems like some sort of market research if anything.
    Well, it's the only real benefit I can see to not earning a full time salary, otherwise everyone would just study by distance learning, no?

    I know the way I wrote it does look a bit market-researchy, lol, but honestly that's just how I like to write sometimes. And if my thread helps other people trying to make a decision about uni, then that's good
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Obviously if it's a prospective group, no one's going to want to hang out now, as so one will be in the city to do anything! Ultimately, when you get to uni, you want to try and get away from the group chat and hang out with real people. You'll never make friends if you never get off your computer!

    It is stressful at the start, but if you never push yourself out of your comfort zone, you'll never grow as a person. Employers expect high levels of soft skills and interpersonal relationships and good grades will never make up for a lack of being able to interact. Uni's the best place to develop these skills in a relatively safe environment. You just can't let your nerves get to you, otherwise you'll never be successful
    You make some very good points, thanks. Didn't think employers would be particularly bothered how I got my degree, but I see what you mean. Maybe I would regret not trying traditional uni, no matter how badly it might fail, I just don't know.
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    You make some very good points, thanks. Didn't think employers would be particularly bothered how I got my degree, but I see what you mean. Maybe I would regret not trying traditional uni, no matter how badly it might fail, I just don't know.
    Employers expect to see soft skills and if you don't have proof that you've developed these during your time at uni through relevant work experience, becoming a class mentor or being on a society committee, you will struggle to find jobs, as your degree classification is just a box you tick then no questions after that. All the questions will be about your suitability as a person for the career and why you want to do it-if you don't have experience through internships or haven't developed the soft skills they require in the person spec then you're going to be at the bottom of the pack in terms of competition
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    Employers expect to see soft skills and if you don't have proof that you've developed these during your time at uni through relevant work experience, becoming a class mentor or being on a society committee, you will struggle to find jobs, as your degree classification is just a box you tick then no questions after that. All the questions will be about your suitability as a person for the career and why you want to do it-if you don't have experience through internships or haven't developed the soft skills they require in the person spec then you're going to be at the bottom of the pack in terms of competition
    You can develop such skills without uni to be fair, but I totally get what you're saying. Will take al, your advice on board, thanks :yy:
 
 
 
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