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He doesn't want me to go to uni. watch

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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    1) Who the hell is he to tell you that you shouldn't go to uni?
    2) An Oxford degree stays forever. He won't.

    I'd say dump him and go to Oxford.
    1) I think it is fair for him to be concerned about losing an important person in his life. That's who he is.
    2) Not everyone enjoys their time at Oxford Ethereal World

    I think a lot of people ignore the importance of relationships tbh.
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    never let a relationship stop you from something as important as university. I'm confident that 99 per cent of people who have done end up regretting it.
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    Wake up, please. Even if he loves you and you vice versa, the fact he has said this is a sign of serious red flags for years to come.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    1) Who the hell is he to tell you that you shouldn't go to uni?
    2) An Oxford degree stays forever. He won't.

    I'd say dump him and go to Oxford.
    yeah thats poor advice.
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    Rejecting Oxford for a guy who doesn't seem to care too much about your happiness is a very bad idea!
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    (Original post by welcometoib)
    yeah thats poor advice.
    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    1) I think it is fair for him to be concerned about losing an important person in his life. That's who he is.
    2) Not everyone enjoys their time at Oxford Ethereal World

    I think a lot of people ignore the importance of relationships tbh.
    Since when is choosing an education over a guy who doesn't seem to care about what she wants bad advice?
    If he cares for him so much then he'll stay with her. Uni terms are pretty short and their holidays are long.
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    (Original post by welcometoib)
    Wake up, please. Even if he loves you and you vice versa, the fact he has said this is a sign of serious red flags for years to come.
    I have to say it's quite annoying for a bunch of strangers on here to tell a guy 'who does he think he is' because he has concerns about his girlfriend, someone I presume he has very strong feelings for and doesn't want leaving him.

    Who are you? Would you want to lose someone you loved because a bunch of strangers on the Internet without any understanding of your circumstances told her to dump you?

    It's not just about education, institutions like Oxford change you.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Since when is choosing an education over a guy who doesn't seem to care about what she wants bad advice?
    If he cares for him so much then he'll stay with her. Uni terms are pretty short and their holidays are long.
    Did he say he doesn't care what she wants? He has his own wants as well.

    Why are relationships always about me, me, me. If he starts being abusive I say throw him off the rowing boats on the way there, but it is absolutely fine for someone to have concerns, and to assert those concerns, about something so significant. This is a two way street and you can't just dismiss the guy.
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    (Original post by CatherineE-S)
    I am fortunate enough to have an offer from Oxford. I know how lucky I am and I still cannot believe I actually got in.

    I recently started seeing a guy who I just click with, he's 3 years older than me and didn't go to uni, and is doing well in life and his career right now. He's already thinking about moving house and settling down. I want that in the future, but not right now. Equally, I can't stand the thought of losing him, and he's said the same about me. I know he doesn't want me to go. I can't reject Oxford, but I don't want to lose him.

    Why does he not want me to go to uni? I don't understand why it's a big deal to him. But every time the conversation comes up, I leave feeling sick to my stomach. Any advice is really, greatly appreciated.
    he's an insecure control freak.

    run.
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    (Original post by Pariah)
    he's an insecure control freak.

    run.
    Yes, for having his own needs, he must be a controlling abusive *******. Because OP has gone on a long rant about his insecurities, his jealousy and so on. Oh wait a minute? Honestly worry for any relationships on here if anyone who disagrees is an 'insecure control freak' sounds like abuse in itself.
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    Tell him to move to Oxford and settle down there, if he doesn't want to then leave
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    Did he say he doesn't care what she wants? He has his own wants as well.

    Why are relationships always about me, me, me. If he starts being abusive I say throw him off the rowing boats on the way there, but it is absolutely fine for someone to have concerns, and to assert those concerns, about something so significant. This is a two way street and you can't just dismiss the guy.
    If he really cares then why can't he make an effort for an LDR? The fact that they've recently started dating and he's telling her not to go to uni is a big sign that he's a control freak probably.

    They're not in a relationship. They've only started seeing each other recently.
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    Nonono! Turn down Oxford? You're crazy! You must be a very lucky an clever person and I'll be damned if you let this opportunity slide. You go to uni, and if you two were meant to be, it will still work. Trust me.

    Now go get em tiger!
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    If he really cares then why can't he make an effort for an LDR? The fact that they've recently started dating and he's telling her not to go to uni is a big sign that he's a control freak probably.

    They're not in a relationship. They've only started seeing each other recently.
    She said she doesn't want to lose him sounds pretty serious to me. I do agree she should go to Oxford but what she should not do is jump the gun and assume her boyfriend is a controlling ass when it's possible he's just (rightly) worried about the change it would have.

    For everyone saying guys come and go tell that to the hundreds of people in these threads saying they'll never meet anyone like their ex again :lol:
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    If he loves you the way you love him then he should be encouraging your future. When you graduate you will have brighter job prospects than most graduates. Think about what you want in life, if he doesn't share the same opinion and discourages you then it's not worth being with someone who is negative, surround yourself with those who have positive energy.
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    1) I think it is fair for him to be concerned about losing an important person in his life. That's who he is.
    2) Not everyone enjoys their time at Oxford Ethereal World

    I think a lot of people ignore the importance of relationships tbh.

    That's such a selfish perspective. If I loved someone I would never deprive them the opportunity of going to Oxford. I would be so proud of them. If you can't make long distance work, and something as shallow as "posh young freshes" turns you unfaithful then clearly it's not a very strong relationship anyway.
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    She said she doesn't want to lose him sounds pretty serious to me. I do agree she should go to Oxford but what she should not do is jump the gun and assume her boyfriend is a controlling ass when it's possible he's just (rightly) worried about the change it would have.

    For everyone saying guys come and go tell that to the hundreds of people in these threads saying they'll never meet anyone like their ex again :lol:
    If he truly loved her and realised that's what she wanted then he'd support her. If my boyfriend got into Oxford, I'd fully support him no matter how far I was.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    That's such a selfish perspective. If I loved someone I would never deprive them the opportunity of going to Oxford. I would be so proud of them. If you can't make long distance work, and something as shallow as "posh young freshes" turns you unfaithful then clearly it's not a very strong relationship anyway.
    When you do come back and check this post. Distance can destroy even the strongest of relationships especially with the craze of university and Oxford especially.

    It is selfish yes, and with good reason.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    If he truly loved her and realised that's what she wanted then he'd support her. If my boyfriend got into Oxford, I'd fully support him no matter how far I was.
    I'd question whether selfless love is love at all in honesty.
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    idk why u are contemplating this.
 
 
 
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