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I don't know what to do about my therapist watch

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    Thanks for your replies everyone. I felt a bit bad about saying all this about my therapist but then I clicked that its her job to empower me, give me confidence and all that jazz and she really isn't so I shouldn't stay with her.
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Yeah that is why I am open about OCD too because out of all the mental health conditions out there, this seemed to be one of the most misunderstood and one that is played down. I try and educate people where I can about it but without trying to annoy them if possible yeah we do sound quite similar. There seems to be quite a lot of people that have OCD on here yet the only person I know in real life with it also is my mum.

    Thanks! Hoping for the best next week when I see my GP
    Thats great!
    I 100% agree with you. OCD is often seen as a minor problem but we know otherwise!!
    Its hard to educate people i know as they wont listen but im open on here.
    I admire you for being open about it!!

    I dont know anyone in real life with it tbh. But as you say there are a few people on here with it.

    Hopefully it will all go well for you!!
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    Definitely talk to your therapist. It will probably be awkward to say to her face but to be honest, you don't want to keep seeing her and if she was to react badly (which she shouldn't, she should stay professional even if you're swearing and insulting her) then you would simply have another reason to request a new therapist.

    Unfortunately some practitioners are just better than others, both in terms of general professionalism (cancelling apps last minute should only be happening rarely as it could be really upsetting) and in terms of their approach and social skills. It sounds like you're clashing with this person on all of those things (and I don't blame you). I think mindfulness is a really useful approach but if you're in a really difficult situation right now in terms of behaviours then you probably need something more behaviour based at least alongside.

    Be prepared that she may ask why and what the problem is and that if you explain she may try and talk you out of it (either by saying she will change or by saying she's getting things right and you need to change) so be decided on whether you'd carry on trying and prepared to push for what you want if not.

    It's good you aren't letting this put you off! Some people are just crap but there are plenty of good ones too.
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    Thanks everyone. I'm going to talk to my GP first and see if they can refer me to someone different as I feel more comfortable with my GP. I need to keep my stress levels down as much as possible and my therapist just seems to trigger them more.

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    You are entitled to another therapist.

    Patient/Therapist is a very fragile relationship, and if it doesn't click it is WORSE than useless, it can actually do harm.

    The NHS can't just give you a crap one and say, "there you go, it's free so like it or lump it." It is a medical condition. Their responsibility as a health provider is to treat it.

    Don't put up with this *******$. Make a fuss. Insist. In fact doing so and getting an appropriate therapist will in itself raise your self esteem and be of benefit.
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    (Original post by JezWeCan!)
    You are entitled to another therapist.

    Patient/Therapist is a very fragile relationship, and if it doesn't click it is WORSE than useless, it can actually do harm.

    The NHS can't just give you a crap one and say, "there you go, it's free so like it or lump it." It is a medical condition. Their responsibility as a health provider is to treat it.

    Don't put up with this *******$. Make a fuss. Insist. In fact doing so and getting an appropriate therapist will in itself raise your self esteem and be of benefit.
    Thanks for your reply, you are spot on. I hate that I feel guilty about feeling bad about my therapist but you can't click with everyone and when it comes to therapy, you have to click and feel comfortable with your therapist. I thought maybe I was overreacting at first because this is my first time at therapy so didn't know what to expect but you are all right, I deserve someone better.

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Thanks for your reply, you are spot on. I hate that I feel guilty about feeling bad about my therapist but you can't click with everyone and when it comes to therapy, you have to click and feel comfortable with your therapist. I thought maybe I was overreacting at first because this is my first time at therapy so didn't know what to expect but you are all right, I deserve someone better.

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    Yes.

    This is what sucks. You are in a vulnerable position and beating yourself up about a problem caused by the bad therapist/the NHS.

    THEY should be helping you, not making things worse. Otherwise, what is their point??

    It annoys me to read of stuff like this.

    But there is a way forward, they don't care, let's be honest, and so you have to make them care. As I say that will be empowering.

    A good therapist can be fantastically useful, I have personal experience. But you have to click.

    Good luck!
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    That's my appointment made for the GP next week to discuss things. I feel a lot better getting all this off my chest now so I'm hoping I feel even better once I speak to the doctor and hopefully they will see things from my point of view. Was so worried I came off as a spoilt brat because they are so many people out there needing therapy and I have it and here's me moaning about it
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    I had my appointment. The GP was bloody useless. He said I have to talk this over with the therapist herself and he said I should just stick with her because of how long waiting lists are. I feel like he didn't take in anything I said. I had to go alone because my mum is in England atm. She forgot she would be away for a few days when she made the appt for me -_- feel like I'm back at square one

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    I had my appointment. The GP was bloody useless. He said I have to talk this over with the therapist herself and he said I should just stick with her because of how long waiting lists are. I feel like he didn't take in anything I said. I had to go alone because my mum is in England atm. She forgot she would be away for a few days when she made the appt for me -_- feel like I'm back at square one

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    Sorry to hear this And sorry I'm only seeing this thread now - been abroad the past few days.

    Whilst it's far easier said than done, I think you should tell the therapist at the next appointment that you are not happy with them and would like to terminate the sessions. If you feel strongly enough about this and are able to do this (no judgement on you if you can't), you should consider writing a complaint letter to the service about everything you've detailed in the posts here. Quote NICE guidelines at them - that worked a treat for me when I wrote a complaint letter about my Community Mental Health Team

    A bad therapist or counsellor can be far worse than not having had therapy/counselling at all imho. Best to get out whilst you still can. The longer you leave things, the more things will build up and get more difficult to withdraw :sadnod:

    :console: :hugs: :console:
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    I've been quite quiet about how therapy for OCD and everything is going but I feel I need to be honest now about how I feel about it.

    I've been going to her since January and was an urgent referral from my GP so I didn't wait too long which was good and I was told that I should get an appointment at least every week because I was in a bad way which I wont go into but the therapist said she thinks just once a fortnight will do. Fair enough but I've only saw her once a fortnight at a max of 3 times. The rest of the time there has been a waiting gap of between 3 to 6 weeks between appointments. I have no other help bar her. I can't take meds due to my OCD contamination fears and my OCD was and still is crippling so I couldn't just man up and take a pill so it was therapy and self help, nothing more.

    She cancels a lot of the time an hour or 2 before my appointment and there is no back up for me to visit if she is off, so that is an extra 2 or 3 weeks to see her again. If I cancelled as much as her, I would have been struck off the patient list.Therapy is a place you talk. You talk about big and major things. Well get this...apparently I talk too much! She would be moaning if I didn't talk at all! She has even admitted that she doesn't think her type of mindfulness based therapy will help me. Yeah, that made me feel brilliant to hear that just a few sessions in. I shouldn't feel the need to dull myself down at therapy. Everything I talk about there is relevant - things that happened in the past, my OCD fears, what triggers me etc - not random things like what I had to eat 3 days ago.

    I don't want to sound like an arrogant ***** here but I am proud of what I have done in regards to making myself better through my conditions, well she said what I have done hasn't really helped me much. I was housebound for 6 months, couldn't even make it to my bins. I forced myself out of that. I made my challenge chart and look at me now 2/3 years on, I can go everywhere now, rarely have panic attack setbacks. If you have never had panics or been agoraphobic then you wouldn't believe how hard it is to climb up from being scared of going out your front door to building up to going out alone, going to town and all that. I am proud of that. I got myself out of that with help from family and friends and nothing more and she shot that down. The one thing in life that I am truly proud of, she belittled. I have confidence now that I never had all my life and she thinks what I done was useless?!

    This isn't a dig at the NHS. I love the NHS, I think I just got the wrong therapist. I don't know what to do about it. I have mentioned it to my GP and she says to talk to the therapist about it but how awkward would that be?! I don't know whether I am justified in feeling how I feel about it or I am overreacting and should just grin and bear it.

    If anyone has any advice or been in a similar situation with therapy please let me know.
    Hello firstly remember that her "shooting down" your achievements does not negate the fact they were achievements. Her opinion does not change reality. So do not sweat about it.

    Secondly, what advice and counselling has she provided and what exactly are your main issues you are both trying to address? Is she giving you tasks to do outside of sessions?
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    Bluntly put, she sounds ****ing terrible. I'd be getting in my GP's ass about it if I were in your position, the waiting list may be long but not getting on it isn't helping!
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    Hello firstly remember that her "shooting down" your achievements does not negate the fact they were achievements. Her opinion does not change reality. So do not sweat about it.

    Secondly, what advice and counselling has she provided and what exactly are your main issues you are both trying to address? Is she giving you tasks to do outside of sessions?
    The main problem I was going to her was for OCD and severe low moods and my GP feared I could be developing an eating disorder. My panics and anxiety were under control when I started therapy in January so she hasn't really touched on them. She believes that the only thing she can do for me is to try and teach me more about myself, not cure or treat me.

    The only task she has gave me was to try mindfulness. She told me how to breath slowly and try to focus on my breathing and nothing else but she admitted that she doesn't think that type of therapy will help me but doesn't know what else to do because the type of therapy I should be getting for OCD which would have been ERP therapy, I've basically been doing on my own and she said its not been successful at all so she doesn't want to try it. Even though I could have been doing it wrong as I was doing it all on my own, not with any supervision or guidance from a doctor or therapist.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to hear this And sorry I'm only seeing this thread now - been abroad the past few days.

    Whilst it's far easier said than done, I think you should tell the therapist at the next appointment that you are not happy with them and would like to terminate the sessions. If you feel strongly enough about this and are able to do this (no judgement on you if you can't), you should consider writing a complaint letter to the service about everything you've detailed in the posts here. Quote NICE guidelines at them - that worked a treat for me when I wrote a complaint letter about my Community Mental Health Team

    A bad therapist or counsellor can be far worse than not having had therapy/counselling at all imho. Best to get out whilst you still can. The longer you leave things, the more things will build up and get more difficult to withdraw :sadnod:

    :console: :hugs: :console:
    Hey thanks for your reply :hugs: I really don't know if I can talk to her about it. Its not because I lack the confidence to talk for myself, it's more I don't want to offend anyone and she has disappointed me so I fear that if I start I won't stop and just end up snapping or something.

    The letter sounds like a good idea

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    The main problem I was going to her was for OCD and severe low moods and my GP feared I could be developing an eating disorder. My panics and anxiety were under control when I started therapy in January so she hasn't really touched on them. She believes that the only thing she can do for me is to try and teach me more about myself, not cure or treat me.

    The only task she has gave me was to try mindfulness. She told me how to breath slowly and try to focus on my breathing and nothing else but she admitted that she doesn't think that type of therapy will help me but doesn't know what else to do because the type of therapy I should be getting for OCD which would have been ERP therapy, I've basically been doing on my own and she said its not been successful at all so she doesn't want to try it. Even though I could have been doing it wrong as I was doing it all on my own, not with any supervision or guidance from a doctor or therapist.

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    That seems very strange that she has basically admitted she doesn't know how to help you. Im no expert by any means but i thought ERP was both standard and effective for ocd?

    I think you need to explain to her clearly and directly (No beating about the bush) that you do not feel what you are doing is effective. If she does not offer up alternatives or give a good reason why whatever you are doing now is the right treatment, i would just go ahead and get a new therapist through your doctor.

    I am shocked that your doctors response was so negative despite the valid point about waiting lists.

    I dont know if it will turn up anything but does googling her turn up any information on her? Testimonies, credentials, endorsements?
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    That seems very strange that she has basically admitted she doesn't know how to help you. Im no expert by any means but i thought ERP was both standard and effective for ocd?

    I think you need to explain to her clearly and directly (No beating about the bush) that you do not feel what you are doing is effective. If she does not offer up alternatives or give a good reason why whatever you are doing now is the right treatment, i would just go ahead and get a new therapist through your doctor.

    I am shocked that your doctors response was so negative despite the valid point about waiting lists.

    I dont know if it will turn up anything but does googling her turn up any information on her? Testimonies, credentials, endorsements?
    I'm not surprised about my GP tbh, that surgery is useless. The one doctor that did urgently refer me was a locum doctor but she has left now. She was brilliant. She took everything I said seriously and didn't try and brush it off or force me to take meds and she called me every week to see how I was doing up until she left in January.

    I googled the therapists name and the area she works in and I live in and it came up saying she used to be a mental health nurse and then moved into psychology and therapy. I read one article she wrote and it was about treated an elderly patient who had life long depression and about how much trust was important in therapy and vital to treatment.

    She did say that she was more used to dealing with people with depression and as she said "simple anxiety" so I think OCD is maybe out of her league. At the start she said she would have a difficult time treating me because I am very logical and have done a lot of the work on my own already. I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult but that was in the very first session so I felt very discouraged right from there
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    If you don't feel you can talk to her, have you thought about writing down what you want to say to her? Ok, you would have to discuss it with her at some point; but I find that if I go into an appointment, I will forget something important.

    In regards to the GP - I'd get a second opinion, which you are entitled to.
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    I've got my next session with her on Tuesday. I'm going to be up front with her but polite. I just need to make sure I don't forget anything so I'll write my feelings and thoughts down and take it with me. I don't know what I'm hoping for or expecting out of doing this though tbh.

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    My therapist cancelled on me again on Tuesday and I've still not heard back from her with a new appt :dontknow: I give up on her

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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    My therapist cancelled on me again on Tuesday and I've still not heard back from her with a new appt :dontknow: I give up on her

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    Can you contact a manager from her team and explain your concerns and/or that you would like a new therapist? Even if you do it by email or something...
 
 
 
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