****ed up(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for reading. I am 19 and my parents, specially my mum, is and has always been abusive. Dhe always has something to complain about, talks badly about people constantly and complainsabout her life even though she has everything she could ask for. When she argues with me or my sister, all she does is spill it out to everyone and when we don't argue, she still belittles us in front of people when she has the chance. She's always used violent methods to punish us and says it's ok and she can do what she wants "under her roof" when we highlight it. This and much more, to the point that I spend every day all day in my bedroom or at my gf's, whom I can't bring home because my mother will take the oportunity to "make things interesting". To make this whole situation worse, my dad works at the police and doesn't do anything about it cause she'll threaten him with divorce. I also have a little brother, but he's her favourite dince he always sticks on her side and gets in between when we argue and tells her everything she needs to know to be on the high side. Eg: he looked through all of my drawers once while I was at college and found condoms and told her. I'll come back to that later.
The other day, my sister arrived from argentina after being there for a few months. My sister and my mother have always had much more friction than I and my mother have. Anyway, my mother was being very annoying and interrupting her conversations every 10 seconds to ask questions that were simply not her problem. My sister is 31 now. So my sister walks away and comes to the living room with me. My mother later comes and they start arguing about something as usual. However, my sister said something that must have touched my mother's nerve and she tried to kick my sister out. My sister sat and refused to move until she was gone, so my mother started dragging her from her hair. That is until I stood up and stopped her and shouted at her very angrily. Dad then came down and pushed me around while mother was happy in the back. I left the house with my sister, and as I walked away, my mother runned upstairs to my room, took the condoms out and ran after me while waving them and mocking me about them.
I left the house for 3 days and I'm back now but as soon as I arrived she started abusing me again and entering my room to shout at my face.
There's a lot more but as you may imagine, I could be here all day. I need help. I depend of my home and of them financially since I'm studying and going to uni in september, but I really can't stand it anymore. I'm a 19 yo guy that's had to leave the house twice now because of physical and mental abuse and I can't cope with that, a job and my studies which I am juggling right now. I can't call the childline because I'moverge and I can't move out because I simply can't afford it. I know I'll be out in september but another 5 months of this is truly unbeareable. I don't care about the concequences but my parents need to be checked up and to realise that they don't rule the law any differently in their house. What can I do? The internet seems to be useless with this kind of situation.
Right can you not stay with gf more? Yes 5 months is long but before you realise it'll be gone. Your dad has no balls.
Keep them at a distance and chat with your gf about the future etc to keep it optimistic dude
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Abusive parents help Watch
- 22-04-2016 13:44
- 22-04-2016 13:55
I've been in a similar situation. I was probably kicked out of my mum's house more than 20 times (sometimes I stayed with my dad for a week or so) and I did not realise it was not normal until I met my current partner. My honest advice is find anywhere to move out to, even if it is a friends for a few months.
It will definitely be hard but don't let your "mum" make your life hell, once you are out (whether now or in 5 months) it will be awesome and you'll feel so much better. Annoying that your dad has done nothing though.
For me the final straw was when my sister called the police and at that pointed I moved out to my dad's house and everything is much better. Infact I think my mum has somewhat realised her actions were wrong (or just realised I am old enough and stable enough to not need her help again).
If you want a chat feel free to message me
- Thread Starter
- 22-04-2016 16:56
I really appreciate so much everyone's response! I'd answer you all but I don't want to spam anyone...
Yes, my mother is a narcissist and is a horrible person. She doesn't like anyone who doesn't lick her boots. But she'd punish me for no going to uni rather than the opposite. When she jokes, it means mocking people, and when she's serious she discriminates them regarding any physical or mental imperfections. That is 60% of the time. She doesn't often make jokes that you can take lightly.
About my friends, my only 2 close friends are far away in uni, and one of them has even got worse problems than me at home so he keeps away as much as possible... Meaning that I don't have anywhere to go. Staying at my gf's would mean affecting my college work qnd a lot of bus travelling, since she lives 25 miles away. As bad as it sounds, I'd rather suffer at home and get my grades to shift safely to uni rather than risk more years of troubling myself. My sister lives same as far with the difference that there aren't any public busses from her place... Life's crap around here, right?
After reading all this carefully, I think my safest action is to keep low and out of their way as much as I can until September. Then I will talk with social services as soon as I get out. Meanwhile, I will look for a cheap place to stay, maybe someone renting a room. I will also talk with one of my brother's school councellors which just so happens to be someone I know's mother.
If you have anything that could help me or if anyone else is in a similar situation and wants someone to talk to, please do comment. I greatly appreciate all this. I've been lucky to realise how much of a horrible person was my mother at the start of my teenage-hood. Difference then was that I didn't realise I should have done something about it. Also back then, I loved somewhere where I could leave the house and keep myself busy with many friends but since I've moved, that doesn't happen often. Also my mother used to work back then and I could walk into the house without the fear of her being there to say something, ehile she'd also be too tired or distracted to do so as well.
Thanks everyone! Truly, I appreciate all the comments