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My GF says my lecturer fancies me.... I kind of hope she does. Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a mature student in his late 20's who is studying social sciences at college in Edinburgh and loving every minute of it. After years of being a structural engineer and hating it, I've finally found my calling. I'm now amongst a class of women pupils (mostly young) and female lecturers. Sounds great on paper; not so great in practice. Certain life events have caused me to have certain... issues. Depression and low self-esteem and general mental un-wellness(wouldn't go as far as 'illness.' My mind is a complicated place which has it's pro's and cons. Good for social sciences; bad for anxiety etc. Being surrounded by girls made my confidence worse as I'd be constantly nervous and over-think everything! However, I do feel like I'm getting a grip on it and regaining my self-esteem. I did find it difficult to feel attractive even though I get constant reinforcement from girls. I'd explain compliments away as sympathy or girls with a muscle fetish (I am a serious gym rat as it helps retain my mental equilibrium) I also get told I'm handsome, which I am now starting to believe again. Now for the crux of the matter: One of my lecturers is pretty fond of me. I innocently explain the things that she says and does to my girlfriend or show her e-mails or feedback I get from her, and my GF is convinced this woman fancies me. I state that it is simply because we are about the same age and I make her lecturing easier. However, there are times when I wonder myself... Topics of conversations about bodies and fitness, and how fit she is etc etc; laughing at unfunny jokes of mine; over-the-top compliments on my standard of work; extended eye-contact: getting close enough to smell each other and even the odd touch on the arm; vibes that I feel like she's showing off a bit when I give her a positive reaction to something she says while lecturing(she is excellent at her job) then getting embarrassed after she's taken it too far; not to mention mild compliments I pay to other female students which garner a slight(possibly imagined) facial expression change. The point is, am I imagining this or am I being blind to the signs, as my girlfriend says I always am when it comes to female advances or interest(with her in the beginning also). She says, 'I'm a girl, I know the signs.' But don't all girls imagine other women fancying their boyfriend? I'm bloody confused, and part of me wishes that my GF is right. This lecturer would literally be my perfect woman.... Or maybe this is all some weird infactuation which ultimately means nothing?
    It's sorted, you need to make a move on your lecturer. There is no question about it, your in and you should not waste this opportunity
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    You do come off as rather dramatic. What georgia said. Your GF has spotted it, you seem infatuated with the idea. Yoru gf deserves better from you as you make it clear you arent that into her. You will just have to pirsue the lecturer and see. It will ofce chance the dynamic for you in class as its not something that will remain a secret. Btw who are the children? you mean the other students?
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    I don't get it so you're gonna be like "really you think that's true my now girlfriend? Thanks!" *dumped gets with lecturer*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is a fair point, but there are kids involved so I can't just up sticks and leave them all. I may not be their dad but it would affect them a lot. There is no easy answer and I guess I'm just frustrated at the fact that a great opportunity for happiness could be passing me by.
    Explain the situation to her. And if you feel like your passing by on a great opportunity sticking with your gf, don't you think it would end up in a situation where one of either or both of you would end up tired of each other, and end the relationship on a worse note, causing more problems for the kids?
    I mean this decision could also affect your gf too: maybe she's passing by on a person who can love her more? (not that I'm saying you don't love her!)
    Think about it
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You do come off as rather dramatic. What georgia said. Your GF has spotted it, you seem infatuated with the idea. Yoru gf deserves better from you as you make it clear you arent that into her. You will just have to pirsue the lecturer and see. It will ofce chance the dynamic for you in class as its not something that will remain a secret. Btw who are the children? you mean the other students?
    No, she has 2 kids. I live with them.
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    Nnnnnicee

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    This reminds me of a movie..
    I wonder what movie it was..
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Not wrong there :lol: She used to do this thing where she'd be talking my work over with me and as she paid me a compliment she'd lay her head down on the table like she was tired, and then look up at me and stare me in the eyes trying to look cute... and it ****ing worked :coma:
    God damn dude dude, thats some seductive sh*t:daydreaming:
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    (Original post by Muchaco)
    God damn dude dude, thats some seductive sh*t:daydreaming:
    She did the whole cut but sexy thing so well tbh. She looks like Taylor Swift used to look when she first got famous to help you imagine, very similar face and same crinkley zig-zaggy hair :lol:
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    Regardless of what your choice is, you need to make up your mind quickly and seriously commit to it, because your girlfriend deserves better and needs to know what is going on. She has the right to know because you have agreed to be there for her and be in a relationship with her, and if you see flaws or have a severe lack of commitment, then you are simply wasting time.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    She did the whole cut but sexy thing so well tbh. She looks like Taylor Swift used to look when she first got famous to help you imagine, very similar face and same crinkley zig-zaggy hair :lol:
    Blondes are the best!
    Are you still with your girlfriend btw?
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    Threesome confirmed
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    Funny how all the males are going fantasy and get in there, whilst the females are talking about consider the gf.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is a fair point, but there are kids involved so I can't just up sticks and leave them all. I may not be their dad but it would affect them a lot. There is no easy answer and I guess I'm just frustrated at the fact that a great opportunity for happiness could be passing me by.
    So you're saying that if someone has kids you have to stay with them forever?

    The fact that you're saying a great opportunity for happiness might be passing you by shows you aren't truly committed. It may affect the kids but better now than a few years down the line.
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    I'm a mature student in his late 20's


    Why did you say that in 3rd person?
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    (Original post by Muchaco)
    Blondes are the best!
    Are you still with your girlfriend btw?
    I've always been more into brunettes personally, but I'm not fussy. Certain hair colours suit some people better than others.

    Nah man, this is going back a good few years, I'm in my mid 20s now :lol:
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    (Original post by Vinny1900)
    I'm a mature student in his late 20's


    Why did you say that in 3rd person?
    He said the right thing. Grammatically, that's the correct way to say it.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    So you're saying that if someone has kids you have to stay with them forever?

    The fact that you're saying a great opportunity for happiness might be passing you by shows you aren't truly committed. It may affect the kids but better now than a few years down the line.
    Cant bring myself to read it again and asked him to clarify on the kids bit. I thought there was a chance he meant the younger students who look up to him for guidance. It wouldnt let me rep you.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Cant bring myself to read it again and asked him to clarify on the kids bit. I thought there was a chance he meant the younger students who look up to him for guidance. It wouldnt let me rep you.
    Unfortunately not. His girlfriend has kids so he's staying in the relationship so he doesn't upset them, even though he's unhappy and wants to fool around with other girls.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    He said the right thing. Grammatically, that's the correct way to say it.
    I beg to differ.
 
 
 
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