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Worst lover you have ever had? watch

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    (Original post by woodymkc)
    i've told this one on here before, but it still makes me chuckle so here goes:

    A few years ago i spotted this beautiful arabic looking girl across the bar with her friends, so i went over to bust a move. I got up to my old tricks, addressed them all as a group, made them like me and slowly but surely stopped talking to them and focused on her. Got some flirting in, then before long i asked her if she wanted to get out of here and we went to her place as she said her parents were away for the weekend. We taxi'd it back and got busy, and things were going well (sort of well anyway, she didn't participate very much) until, whilst i was balls deep, she started crying :s
    i obviously stopped and asked what was wrong. She then burst into proper tears and started telling me how she was a muslim and a virgin and how her dad would disown her if he found out what she was up to, she'd just been really getting antsy about being in her 20s now and has never had sex and was getting sick of being religious, but she now realises she's done a really bad thing and so on.

    Needless to say, i completely lost my wood and after she'd come up for air i got my clothes back on and left. I just went home demoralised and finished myself off, which btw was one of the more odd tugs i've ever had - i literally sat on the side of the bath with my material being the smell of her vagina on my left fingers. Allah must hate me :rofl:
    Wow ... sh1t went from 0 to 100 to floppy disk real quick. :rofl:
    Serious question, did you use protection before you went balls deep? :laugh:
    Did you follow through stage 3? :rofl: :shot:

    Woody @ Stage 1
    http://img.memecdn.com/woody-is-goin..._o_1996805.jpg

    Woody @ Stage 2
    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3808/...376946498f.jpg

    Woody @ Stage 3
    http://static4.fjcdn.com/comments/39...50bcf6b5bd.png

    (Original post by woodymkc)
    finished myself off, which btw was one of the more odd tugs i've ever had
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...99de259ef9.jpg

    I swear these woody memes are just :grin::tong::sogood:
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    I felt used since I thought he just wanted me for sex (I didn't lose my virginity to him), we went out on dates, it's unforgettable memories. I guess he felt I used him too since I asked him for help(not much,really not a big deal for sure), I don't know why but he still felt used...anyway, he is a selfish person, as a whole!
    .... After years now I'm ready to lose my virginity to guy who loves me.
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    (Original post by Alfed)
    Why were they bad? How do you feel about them now?
    myself because was too selfish, inadequate and premature all at the same time.
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    (Original post by Alfed)
    Why were they bad? How do you feel about them now?
    myself because I was inadequate, selfish and premature all at the same time. I still talk to that person a lot though
    • #1
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    Oh let me think of all my imaginary boyfriends lel
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh let me think of all my imaginary boyfriends lel
    That's the same with me
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    I've told this one on here before, but it still makes me chuckle so here goes:

    A few years ago I spotted this beautiful Arabic looking girl across the bar with her friends, so I went over to bust a move. I got up to my old tricks, addressed them all as a group, made them like me and slowly but surely stopped talking to them and focused on her. Got some flirting in, then before long I asked her if she wanted to get out of here and we went to her place as she said her parents were away for the weekend. We taxi'd it back and got busy, and things were going well (sort of well anyway, she didn't participate very much) until, whilst I was balls deep, she started crying
    I obviously stopped and asked what was wrong. She then burst into proper tears and started telling me how she was a Muslim and a virgin and how her dad would disown her if he found out what she was up to, she'd just been really getting antsy about being in her 20s now and has never had sex and was getting sick of being religious, but she now realises she's done a really bad thing and so on.

    Needless to say, I completely lost my wood and after she'd come up for air I got my clothes back on and left. I just went home demoralised and finished myself off, which btw was one of the more odd tugs I've ever had - I literally sat on the side of the bath with my material being the smell of her vagina on my left fingers. Allah must HATE me :rofl:
    Such a dumbass. How does it take you so long to figure out you shouldn't be doing something... Do these idiots even use their brain...?
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    (Original post by XxKingSniprxX)
    Wow ... sh1t went from 0 to 100 to floppy disk real quick. :rofl:
    Serious question, did you use protection before you went balls deep? :laugh:
    Did you follow through stage 3? :rofl: :shot:

    Woody @ Stage 1
    http://img.memecdn.com/woody-is-goin..._o_1996805.jpg

    Woody @ Stage 2
    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3808/...376946498f.jpg

    Woody @ Stage 3
    http://static4.fjcdn.com/comments/39...50bcf6b5bd.png



    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...99de259ef9.jpg

    I swear these woody memes are just :grin::tong::sogood:
    Genius :rofl: I never bareback mate, not just cause you never know where they've been but also, I don't want a kid turning up on my doorstep in 15 years telling me it's my fault he has abandonment issues :lol:
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Genius :rofl: I never bareback mate, not just cause you never know where they've been but also, I don't want a kid turning up on my doorstep in 15 years telling me it's my fault he has abandonment issues :lol:
    I'm in a library and I just burst out laughing at this. I hate you :eek:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh let me think of all my imaginary boyfriends lel
    What? You have never had a BF?
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    (Original post by Alfed)
    What? You have never had a BF?
    'the' seed can help you with that.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Genius :rofl: I never bareback mate, not just cause you never know where they've been but also, I don't want a kid turning up on my doorstep in 15 years telling me it's my fault he has abandonment issues :lol:
    Sounds a bit like a episode of :rofl:

    https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com...le_show_02.jpg
 
 
 
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