Opinions on stay at home girlfriends/wifes? Watch

TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#21
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#21
(Original post by RivalPlayer)
It allows a mother to nurture and spend time with her children during the important early years of their lives. I think it's really important for kids to form a close bond. I'd hate to be a kid in a family where both parents work. Getting frequently shoved off to some form childcare would affect me mentally.
No it really isn't that bad, I think you're exaggerating. My mum worked when I was a baby, I was left with my grandma for a good 7 years of my early formative years.

I love my mum very much, I have a great bond with her. It really doesn't matter that much.

There is nothing wrong with putting your child in day care.

Also it's just as important for a father to nurture and spend time with his children and form a close bond with them.
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childofthesun
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#22
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#22
Personally I'd hate being a full time house wife and having to completely depend on my husband for financial matters. I'm too ambitious and have too many things I want to accomplish to limit myself to someone whose day only consists of cooking,cleaning,looking after the children etc.. My mum managed to be the most incredible mother to six children while having her own career too, and I admire her even more for her ambitiousness and ability to find a balance between work and home life.
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ChaoticButterfly
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#23
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#23
Jealous
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SirMilkSheikh
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#24
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#24
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
I don't think it's the "healthiest" way, a lot of women suffer with postpartum depression and anxiety, staying at home for such a long period of time can make it worse, also children are hard work.

There is NOTHING wrong with putting your child in daycare! It doesn't mean you don't love your child.
Of course children are hard work, that's why I'd only want the person I trust most to do everything in their power to take the best care of them - their mothers or the wife of the house. Now, you're bringing up separate points. A stay at home mum can balance her child-caring duties with her own wellbeing. She can still find time to do things she enjoys, and nor does this mean she's confined to the parameters of her house. I think you've got a skewed view of what a housewife can do and her options. I'm pretty sure this way of living is far better than being an office drone, working for the profits of some random schmuck and wishing for more time to have kids once passing the fertile 20s.

You can leave your kids in daycare if you want to. I never said that you'd love your child less, you pulled that out from somewhere. But I'll leave my kids in the care of my wife, rather than a paid carer who has to balance a few hours between several dozen other stranger's kids.
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RivalPlayer
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#25
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#25
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
No it really isn't that bad, I think you're exaggerating. My mum worked when I was a baby, I was left with my grandma for a good 7 years of my early formative years.

I love my mum very much, I have a great bond with her. It really doesn't matter that much.

There is nothing wrong with putting your child in day care.

Also it's just as important for a father to nurture and spend time with his children and form a close bond with them.
Not everyone has grandparents (or other family members) who are able to look after kids.
And I disagree. This emerging culture of parents dumping kids in day care because both of them work full time isn't healthy.
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_icecream
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#26
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#26
Staying at home gets so boring after a while
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#27
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#27
(Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
Of course children are hard work, that's why I'd only want the person I trust most to do everything in their power to take the best care of them - their mothers or the wife of the house. Now, you're bringing up separate points. A stay at home mum can balance her child-caring duties with her own wellbeing. She can still find time to do things she enjoys, and nor does this mean she's confined to the parameters of her house. I think you've got a skewed view of what a housewife can do and her options. I'm pretty sure this way of living is far better than being an office drone, working for the profits of some random schmuck and wishing for more time to have kids once passing the fertile 20s.

You can leave your kids in daycare if you want to. I never said that you'd love your child less, you pulled that out from somewhere. But I'll leave my kids in the care of my wife, rather than a paid carer who has to balance a few hours between several dozen other stranger's kids.
You said "healthy", I commented on that. I don't think it's the healthiest way.

She doesn't have to be" office drone and working for profits for some random schmuck". She could have her own career underway, she could be self employed or have completely established herself before having children. I don't think you should think so little of whoever ends up with you in the future.

Also fertile 30's and 40's exist too.

"Nurturing" has connotations to love. I think day care is fine for working parents.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#28
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#28
(Original post by RivalPlayer)
Not everyone has grandparents (or other family members) who are able to look after kids.
And I disagree. This emerging culture of parents dumping kids in day care because both of them work full time isn't healthy.
But you were talking about mothers specifically, also my grandma wasn't very loving or nurturing either but mum didn't have the choice at the time, again, I turned out fine.

Nothing wrong with day care, people have to work, it's life.
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Mentally
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#29
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#29
(Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
Of course children are hard work, that's why I'd only want the person I trust most to do everything in their power to take the best care of them - their mothers or the wife of the house. Now, you're bringing up separate points. A stay at home mum can balance her child-caring duties with her own wellbeing. She can still find time to do things she enjoys, and nor does this mean she's confined to the parameters of her house. I think you've got a skewed view of what a housewife can do and her options. I'm pretty sure this way of living is far better than being an office drone, working for the profits of some random schmuck and wishing for more time to have kids once passing the fertile 20s.

You can leave your kids in daycare if you want to. I never said that you'd love your child less, you pulled that out from somewhere. But I'll leave my kids in the care of my wife, rather than a paid carer who has to balance a few hours between several dozen other stranger's kids.
This 100%
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Mentally
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#30
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#30
(Original post by childofthesun)
Personally I'd hate being a full time house wife and having to completely depend on my husband for financial matters. I'm too ambitious and have too many things I want to accomplish to reduce myself to someone whose day only consists of cooking,cleaning,looking after the children etc.. My mum managed to be the most incredible mother to six children while having her own career too, and I admire her even more for her ambitiousness and ability to find a balance between work and home life.
Very strange coming from an Arab considering this being the very standard in our culture. I also think its unfair to say you are 'reducing yourself' if you become a housewife. I genuinely think the housewife has a harder more difficult role than the husband in many cases
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troubadour.
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#31
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#31
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
There is NOTHING wrong with putting your child in daycare! It doesn't mean you don't love your child.
As someone who was raised mostly in daycare centres and by housemaids, I disagree.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Hydeman)
As someone who was raised mostly in daycare centres and by housemaids, I disagree.
Really, why?
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999tigger
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#33
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#33
If there are kids, then definitely, especially if you can afford to live on one income.
If there are no kids, then it depends, but you would want them to be looking after more of the chores etc. If you cna afford it then no worries.
If it was just slacking and laziness, then I probably wouldnt be with them anyway.
Not really much reason to be uptight.
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troubadour.
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#34
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#34
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
Really, why?
Well, I felt quite neglected because of both my parents working full-time (with regular night shifts to boot); a housemaid/daycare only makes up for so much. :moon:

I know that you're quite the feminist about most things, but I'm afraid I'm given to tradition on this one in an almost non-negotiable way. :holmes: :lol:
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HAnwar
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#35
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#35
(Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
Of course children are hard work, that's why I'd only want the person I trust most to do everything in their power to take the best care of them - their mothers or the wife of the house. Now, you're bringing up separate points. A stay at home mum can balance her child-caring duties with her own wellbeing. She can still find time to do things she enjoys, and nor does this mean she's confined to the parameters of her house. I think you've got a skewed view of what a housewife can do and her options. I'm pretty sure this way of living is far better than being an office drone, working for the profits of some random schmuck and wishing for more time to have kids once passing the fertile 20s.

You can leave your kids in daycare if you want to. I never said that you'd love your child less, you pulled that out from somewhere. But I'll leave my kids in the care of my wife, rather than a paid carer who has to balance a few hours between several dozen other stranger's kids.
I personally would never be able to leave my kids in day care.
It's important to spend as much time with them as possible, you'll never get that time back.
If I grow old I want to have happy memories of me playing with my child, if I didn't have that I'd regret working those days.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Hydeman)
Well, I felt quite neglected because of both my parents working full-time (with regular night shifts to boot); a housemaid/daycare only makes up for so much. :moon:

I know that you're quite the feminist about most things, but I'm afraid I'm given to tradition on this one in an almost non-negotiable way. :holmes: :lol:
No I'm not being a "feminist", it's just how I feel. I mean I know I will love my future children to death, and I'm sorry you grew up feeling that way, but I also want to love myself and be happy and staying at home wouldn't make me happy. I can make up for lost time with my children with extreme love for them when I get home, if I'm happy and my partner is happy then our children will be happy. I think that is the solution for a happy family, I don't think you have to be a stay at home mum to raise happy, healthy children. Also there are many stay at home mums/ dads that make a mess of it. It depends on the parent.
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donutellme
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#37
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#37
(Original post by TheGuyReturns)
I'm seeing more and more of this **** as I get older. No kids to take care of, but the guy works while the girl just chills.

Obviously people are free to do whatever they want with their lives, and I'm free to view guys in relationships like this as chumps...


Wives*
Probably ****ing the neighbour while Mr is at work too.
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RivalPlayer
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#38
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#38
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
But you were talking about mothers specifically, also my grandma wasn't very loving or nurturing either but mum didn't have the choice at the time, again, I turned out fine.

Nothing wrong with day care, people have to work, it's life.
Just because you turned out "fine" doesn't mean a nurturing mother isn't necessary. It's essential in my opinion. Obviously your mum didn't have a choice at the time so that's understandable.

And no, not everyone has to work. I know it's trendy to downplay the importance of traditional family units these days but there are women out there that are happy to be stay-at-home mothers because they want to spend time with their children.
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TheonlyMrsHolmes
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#39
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#39
(Original post by donutellme)
Probably ****ing the neighbour while Mr is at work too.
Yes because our lives resemble porn.
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troubadour.
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#40
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#40
(Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
I can make up for lost time with my children with extreme love for them when I get home
Fair enough, but I should point out that the only instance of this approach with which I have personal experience (i.e. my own childhood) was a phenomenal failure.

if I'm happy and my partner is happy then our children will be happy.
Not necessarily, Mrs.:holmes:.

Also there are many stay at home mums/ dads that make a mess of it. It depends on the parent.
Agreed.
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