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    I believe in waiting but not for religious reasons. I don't think sex is everything in a relationship, even a marital one. If you marry and then realize that the sex isn't great, well does it really matter? After all, you did spend the whole relationship not having sex, so nothing really has changed. Just the way I see it though
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you even know the women are telling the truth though is these so called studies? I could tell my future husband that I was a virgin and he'd never know. I lost my virginity to rape at 21 does that make me a used up slut then?
    I agree that you can't tell if somebody is a virgin or not. People look at hymens but that's false because they can tear at any time so it doesn't actually show anything.

    You were raped? I'm so sorry.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    Risk of divorce is is positively correlated with number of sexual partners.
    It's usually more to do with it being a reflection on the type of person they are as opposed to them being "dirty" or "impure"
    Spoiler:
    Show
    It's also really gross thinking about another dude's baby gravy on her face
    lmao baby gravy
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    I believe in waiting but not for religious reasons. I don't think sex is everything in a relationship, even a marital one. If you marry and then realize that the sex isn't great, well does it really matter? After all, you did spend the whole relationship not having sex, so nothing really has changed. Just the way I see it though
    waiting for what?
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    I believe in waiting but not for religious reasons. I don't think sex is everything in a relationship, even a marital one. If you marry and then realize that the sex isn't great, well does it really matter? After all, you did spend the whole relationship not having sex, so nothing really has changed. Just the way I see it though
    Yes it really matters.
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    I believe in waiting but not for religious reasons. I don't think sex is everything in a relationship, even a marital one. If you marry and then realize that the sex isn't great, well does it really matter? After all, you did spend the whole relationship not having sex, so nothing really has changed. Just the way I see it though
    I agree.
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    (Original post by Maker)
    What happens if you married a virgin and he/she decided they want to stay a virgin or the sex was really terrible and they refused to have anymore.
    It's their choice. Although I would not understand why a person would stay a virgin after marriage.

    You can either deal with it or end it.


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    (Original post by Sternumator)
    The marriage isn't valid if it isn't consummated. You can get an annulment.
    This is actually a thing.

    If you end up being sexually incompatible, that could potentially affect your relationship. But if something like that happened to me (it won't), it wouldn't be as simple as black and white. Feelings are involved.. I would find out why they don't want to have sex. I read this article before with opinions of different people and for some people, especially if they abstained before for religious reasons, they said they felt 'dirty' for having sex. This caused most of them to seek therapy and completely give up religion because something so trivial (sex) was costing them their whole marriage.

    Sex is really important in a relationship though, it's such an intimate thing. I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle such a situation well at all.

    Edit: Sex isn't everything in a relationship but it is something and that something is just as important as good communication/respect. Anyone saying sex doesn't matter... ridiculous. Unless you're asexual, you are human and you will have urges.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    Yes it really matters.
    Well make sure you don't marry a person who doesn't want to wait then
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    Well make sure you don't marry a person who doesn't want to wait then
    Don't you worry about me my darling.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Why would you lie about your sexual status to a complete stranger? Especially if you're a guy being seen as a virgin is usually a negative thing and even if you're a woman it's increasingly becoming a bad thing too, being associated with being un*uckable or freakily religious. Therefore there is no social incentive to pretend to be a virgin

    If you got raped it's a different matter entirely
    I'm not saying I am going to lie but what I am saying is that I could and no one could ever prove otherwise. That's why any 'studies' on number of sexual partners are a pile of poop. If you are playing the role of good little wifey-boo you are hardly going to turn around and admit to sleeping with 20 dudes before you settled down, or having a few side pieces like the gardener and the window cleaner while hubby-boo is out working hard. And why no study of sexual partners of men and divorce?
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    I believe in waiting but not for religious reasons. I don't think sex is everything in a relationship, even a marital one. If you marry and then realize that the sex isn't great, well does it really matter? After all, you did spend the whole relationship not having sex, so nothing really has changed. Just the way I see it though
    How does it not?
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    (Original post by jenigma)
    How does it not?
    It's just my opinion, like I said. The way I see it is that if you haven't had sex in the whole lead up to your marriage then you will be happy with whatever sex you get in the marriage or you won't mind not having it since you haven't been having?
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    It's just my opinion, like I said. The way I see it is that if you haven't had sex in the whole lead up to your marriage then you will be happy with whatever sex you get in the marriage or you won't mind not having it since you haven't been having?
    Well not necessarily. You'll most likely not orgasm, your partner probably won't last long and you'll suddenly wonder what all the hype regarding sex is about. A most unfortunate disappointment.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not saying I am going to lie but what I am saying is that I could and no one could ever prove otherwise. That's why any 'studies' on number of sexual partners are a pile of poop. If you are playing the role of good little wifey-boo you are hardly going to turn around and admit to sleeping with 20 dudes before you settled down, or having a few side pieces like the gardener and the window cleaner while hubby-boo is out working hard. And why no study of sexual partners of men and divorce?
    Neither of us mentioned gender, infact AngryRedhead specifically said that "When virgins marry".
    There's no patriarchal conspiracy here, your victim complex is showing

    The studies I was referencing were done on men and women
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    Neither of us mentioned gender, infact AngryRedhead specifically said that "When virgins marry".
    There's no patriarchal conspiracy here, your victim complex is showing
    PRSOM
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    Well not necessarily. You'll most likely not orgasm, your partner probably won't last long and you'll suddenly wonder what all the hype regarding sex is about. A most unfortunate disappointment.
    So what? You're an adult in a marriage, adopt a dog, go on holiday, plant some flowers, get a mortgage. Flipping heck, the world does not revolve around having an orgasm. Have you tried Rostis? Have you tried Garlic bread? Have you ever seen a puppy? There are better things in the world.
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    Flipping heck, the world does not revolve around having an orgasm.
    If you really think about it, it sort of does..

    But in all seriousness, is a sexless marriage a happy one?
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    It's just my opinion, like I said. The way I see it is that if you haven't had sex in the whole lead up to your marriage then you will be happy with whatever sex you get in the marriage or you won't mind not having it since you haven't been having?
    wot ???

    I don't think it's possible for me to convincingly explain my POV here as you will have to get to that level of maturity in life and experience it to understand the importance.

    The majority of adults have sex... and to not ever have sex/*****y sex when you want to is a death sentence. You're only human, you will want to try it and if your partner doesn't, it can be hard. You will undoubtedly get curious at some point or regret your decision of getting married to that person. Are you meant to cheat? People are made to feel awful just because they leave their partners based on such reasons, but it's better to be happily single than miserably married (and/or cheating).
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    (Original post by bethanystephens)
    So what? You're an adult in a marriage, adopt a dog, go on holiday, plant some flowers, get a mortgage. Flipping heck, the world does not revolve around having an orgasm. Have you tried Rostis? Have you tried Garlic bread? Have you ever seen a puppy? There are better things in the world.
    Come back to this thread in about 15 years' time....
 
 
 
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