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Looking young for age...should this policy be introduced Watch

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    (Original post by Inazuma)
    Just get over it, it's really a complete non-issue
    It is a non-issue for the majority of people who actually look their age but I don't think any adult wants to look like a child and be treated like one because of this. Restaurants are too quick to make an assumption about whether someone is an adult or a child...if it's clearly a family with small children then fair enough, but if there's any possibility of doubt then DON'T ASSUME!

    When I was 19 and my sister was 9 we were at a museum that is free for under 10s, child price age 10-17 and adult price age 18+. So my sister and I were both about a year away from age thresholds but guess what...they asked my sister's age but then charged me as a child without asking...so they must have thought there was NO WAY that I was an adult. So the point is, people in general need to have a larger range of possible ranges for each person.

    I spent years waiting to be 18 so I could buy alcohol to be told the first time I tried to order an alcoholic drink AS AN ADULT "these drinks are not for children". I'll never forget that! Over 3 years later things are not much better. Recently a bartender claimed my [genuine] driving licence was fake and twice I have been told I'm 17 AFTER showing my ID [no of course I'm not!]. Recently I bought a mojito ice lolly [yes, just a lolly with <0.5% alcohol] with my dad, and the member of staff kept saying that they don't recommend them for under 18s! WHY NOT ASK MY AGE FIRST?

    Whenever there's a food delivery with wine, the deliveryman tells me to get my parents. So I say no, I can take it, I tell him my age and then he asks for ID. Ok I can see this is a difficult situation as if he starts by asking for ID I could be underage and need to get my parents, so it's a potential lose-lose; however, why not just start by asking my age?

    Recently at a bar I ordered a drink and she asked my age. She then asked for ID. Why not just ask for ID first as bartenders normally do? The funny thing is I'm pretty sure she was younger than me [although of course she might herself look young for her age and be older than me, so I can't assume!]

    On another trip to a bar I was asked for ID so I got out my driving licence and the bartender didn't even look at it, he said "you must be old enough if you've got ID". This annoyed me as he probably assumed I was just 18, not 21!

    Once when I was 18 at a restaurant the waitress took away my wine glass and said "Sorry, when you're 18!". So my mum said "He is 18". The waitress must have felt quite stupid and rightly so. Why assume?

    Another time, with my family, my dad and I ordered beers and my mum and brother ordered cokes. Another waitress delivered them and said "I know who the beers are for but what about the cokes?". So we told her. She then gave a beer to my dad, a coke to my brother and a coke AND a beer to my mum! Unbelievable!

    One time I was buying some shandy at a supermarket and at the till the worker said "do you realise these have alcohol"? [yes I did]

    When I was 18 at a bar the bartender didn't believe me but when my mum told him he was like "you're his mother so you must know the truth".

    Recently at a restaurant I was charged the child price for a buffet [even though they define a child as under 12!]. I guess you could say that's good value and I still got the same "product" as if I had been charged the adult price but still...how humiliating!

    On an evening train with my brother I was asked by a member of staff if someone was meeting us at the station. Maybe I should have returned the question!

    Funnily enough I don't get ID'd much in my university city as it's clear I'm a university student when I'm there, whereas at home I live near a school, and if I'm with my family it's just assumed that I'm a child...so it's all about the context yet I'm the same person wherever I go!

    I've been asked how old I am when swimming at my health club [as you have to be over 16 to be unaccompanied by an adult].

    I've been served non-alcoholic cocktails at bars when I NEVER ASKED FOR VIRGIN ONES!

    Whenever someone calls me "young man" I feel like addressing them in the equivalent way (e.g. "old man").

    Sorry for ranting on but there is no end to the number of episodes of this horrific tale!
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    (Original post by dwid58)
    It is a non-issue for the majority of people who actually look their age but I don't think any adult wants to look like a child and be treated like one because of this. Restaurants are too quick to make an assumption about whether someone is an adult or a child...if it's clearly a family with small children then fair enough, but if there's any possibility of doubt then DON'T ASSUME!

    When I was 19 and my sister was 9 we were at a museum that is free for under 10s, child price age 10-17 and adult price age 18+. So my sister and I were both about a year away from age thresholds but guess what...they asked my sister's age but then charged me as a child without asking...so they must have thought there was NO WAY that I was an adult. So the point is, people in general need to have a larger range of possible ranges for each person.

    I spent years waiting to be 18 so I could buy alcohol to be told the first time I tried to order an alcoholic drink AS AN ADULT "these drinks are not for children". I'll never forget that! Over 3 years later things are not much better. Recently a bartender claimed my [genuine] driving licence was fake and twice I have been told I'm 17 AFTER showing my ID [no of course I'm not!]. Recently I bought a mojito ice lolly [yes, just a lolly with <0.5% alcohol] with my dad, and the member of staff kept saying that they don't recommend them for under 18s! WHY NOT ASK MY AGE FIRST?

    Whenever there's a food delivery with wine, the deliveryman tells me to get my parents. So I say no, I can take it, I tell him my age and then he asks for ID. Ok I can see this is a difficult situation as if he starts by asking for ID I could be underage and need to get my parents, so it's a potential lose-lose; however, why not just start by asking my age?

    Recently at a bar I ordered a drink and she asked my age. She then asked for ID. Why not just ask for ID first as bartenders normally do? The funny thing is I'm pretty sure she was younger than me [although of course she might herself look young for her age and be older than me, so I can't assume!]

    On another trip to a bar I was asked for ID so I got out my driving licence and the bartender didn't even look at it, he said "you must be old enough if you've got ID". This annoyed me as he probably assumed I was just 18, not 21!

    Once when I was 18 at a restaurant the waitress took away my wine glass and said "Sorry, when you're 18!". So my mum said "He is 18". The waitress must have felt quite stupid and rightly so. Why assume?

    Another time, with my family, my dad and I ordered beers and my mum and brother ordered cokes. Another waitress delivered them and said "I know who the beers are for but what about the cokes?". So we told her. She then gave a beer to my dad, a coke to my brother and a coke AND a beer to my mum! Unbelievable!

    One time I was buying some shandy at a supermarket and at the till the worker said "do you realise these have alcohol"? [yes I did]

    When I was 18 at a bar the bartender didn't believe me but when my mum told him he was like "you're his mother so you must know the truth".

    Recently at a restaurant I was charged the child price for a buffet [even though they define a child as under 12!]. I guess you could say that's good value and I still got the same "product" as if I had been charged the adult price but still...how humiliating!

    On an evening train with my brother I was asked by a member of staff if someone was meeting us at the station. Maybe I should have returned the question!

    Funnily enough I don't get ID'd much in my university city as it's clear I'm a university student when I'm there, whereas at home I live near a school, and if I'm with my family it's just assumed that I'm a child...so it's all about the context yet I'm the same person wherever I go!

    I've been asked how old I am when swimming at my health club [as you have to be over 16 to be unaccompanied by an adult].

    I've been served non-alcoholic cocktails at bars when I NEVER ASKED FOR VIRGIN ONES!

    Whenever someone calls me "young man" I feel like addressing them in the equivalent way (e.g. "old man".

    Sorry for ranting on but there is no end to the number of episodes of this horrific tale!
    OP what do you look like? If this happens quite a lot you must be quite youthful looking
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    I think you are over reacting a little bit. I have the same problem as you, im 18, the oldest in my group of friends and the only one ever asked for ID. If a barman doesn't want to sell me alcohol then they lose a sale. I don't see the big deal with not being sold alcohol. as long as your polite about it they usually don't mind if you look young if your ID is fine. If you get all aggressive then its like you know your ID is fake and are trying to scare them out of checking. The only reason they check is that they can get a huge fine if they get it wrong so its unfair for someone to get aggressive at them for doing something that will save them grief in the long run. if they move a glass or take alcohol out of a drink for you just smile and ask them to put it back, you don't know if they have just been told off for not doing this so give them some slack. Being charged child tickets just saves you money but yeah, checking for trains its kinda annoying but its no big deal. Looking young now will just mean when we get to 40 we will look younger than all our friends (my step sister managed this. she's mid 30's but looks about 20)
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    A friend of mine also had a tough time of it when she was 19, she had ovarian cancer. Luckily her treatments worked for her and she's now living a normal life.

    She said it helped to just concentrate on putting one foot in front of another, if that helps?
 
 
 
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