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Why I didn't want to sleep with a girl. watch

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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    What? No, I would think she is hot and want to know her better, after which I may wish to sleep with her. See what I mean, there is something wrong with me. :facepalm2:
    You're demisexual, part of something called "grey-sexuality" that covers everything between fully asexual and fully sexual (and people rarely fall to either extreme).

    https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/demisexual

    "Sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed"
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    (Original post by wqzu)
    You're demisexual.

    https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/demisexual

    "Sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed"
    What is that?
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    What is that?
    I must've edited it after you replied:

    It's part of something called "grey-sexuality" that covers everything between fully asexual and fully sexual (and people rarely fall to either extreme). https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/demisexual

    "Sexually attracted to people only after a strong emotional bond has been formed"
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    (Original post by DeadEnd_96)
    You are not abnormal. It shows that you have more respect for women than most guys out there.
    I don't agree in the slightest, there is nothing indecent about sex or sexual interest unless it is creepy or manipulative.

    Had OP decided he did want to sleep with her, that wouldn't make him more or less decent, just means he had a sexual interest.

    What I don't understand is how she could have been so attractive yet you had no interest? Could be a problem on her part just not being very sexy (but still pretty) but you sound pretty gay / asexual to me.
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    Maybe she wasn't your type. Your username is Ilikechinesefood soo I think chinese ones are more your type. Ya get me.

    Its hard for a guy not to bang someone so what you did shows that your a man.
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    There's nothing wrong with you! She just wasn't the one for you! Thats nothing to be ashamed of. And its good that you look for more than just good looks in a girl, not many guys I know would say that. One day you will meet a girl who you will think is an 11/10 on looks and also has an amazing charcter and you will know that she is the one. I wouldnt worry about it if I was you because whatever happens you can't go back and change it so just carry on with life.
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    What? No, I would think she is hot and want to know her better, after which I may wish to sleep with her. See what I mean, there is something wrong with me. :facepalm2:
    You sound asexual or like you believe there is something wrong with sleeping with women. Were you raised around women by any chance? It's like you think that sex in itself is dirty and you feel the need to have an emotional connection and suppress your sexual instinct, but there's no reason to, I would definitely want to bang a hot girl in yoga pants, doesn't mean I wouldn't respect her (unless she didn't want me to ay, ay).
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    You didn't want sex?

    Hmm, I conclude that you're not a man.
    I was raised mainly by my mum and sister and I had this attitude for a while when I was younger, when I started being around my dad and brothers more I began to see the other side of the coin. I think he has adapted a feminine view of sexuality, believing that he is somehow oppressive rather than her wanting it.
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    Someone told you the pumpum stank???
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    You sound asexual or like you believe there is something wrong with sleeping with women. Were you raised around women by any chance? It's like you think that sex in itself is dirty and you feel the need to have an emotional connection and suppress your sexual instinct, but there's no reason to, I would definitely want to bang a hot girl in yoga pants, doesn't mean I wouldn't respect her (unless she didn't want me to ay, ay).
    Is it wrong to have an emotional connection with a woman before having sex with them? I just find that the sex will be dead and meaningless if it with a person that you don't know on a personal level.
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    (Original post by DeadEnd_96)
    Is it wrong to have an emotional connection with a woman before having sex with them? I just find that the sex will be dead and meaningless if it with a person that you don't know on a personal level.
    Not wrong, but for me it would be weird as I can be sexually interested in someone without said connection, or have said connection and not be remotely interested. Yes, sex which isn't mechanical is fantastic, but that's purely rational, my **** doesn't seem care either way.
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    In my opinion, that sounds sweet. Well,... except the ended relationship. Maybe cuz you wanted to know her as person before screwing her? That doesn't sound abnormal to me.

    Op is not asexual. OP does't want to bang a chick who doesn't have emotional connection with. Is it really that strange for people to not bang others without emotional connection that it needs an inaccurate label? Lol.
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    Yes, that is how it makes me feel.
    Nah it's weird I'll give you that but I've never experienced it so I can't really offer advice.

    What was the actual reason you didn't want sex? Don't have to tell me, but you may know the TRUE reason
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    Don't worry, you are certainly not asexual
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    So last year I became friends with a girl who I really liked, she was the most beautiful girl in the world, like a 10/10 and my type. She was interesting, fun and exciting too. So I really should have wanted to have sex with her, but I never did. I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to have sex with her as well, it was really annoying. :sad:

    I remember telling her that I liked her, but that I didn't want to sleep with her. And she said she "hadn't met anyone who hadn't wanted to bang her". This made me feel really disgusting, peculiar and abnormal. Like there was/is something wrong with me for not wanting to bang her. We are no longer friends and I don't know her anymore. I have since realised that I didn't want her because I didn't trust her and I was right not to trust her. But it still irks me when I think about it. How I will never come across anyone better looking or more attractive than her and I didn't want to sleep with her. Like what is the matter with me?

    I am such an idiot. I wish I was a different person who only cared about how people looked and other stuff didn't matter to me. :ashamed2: I feel like my life would be so much better and easier if I was like that. :banghead::cry2::sadnod::sigh::sorry:
    Mate listen to your instincts.

    Your instincts recognised she was a sloot and so your were turned off by her.

    You did the right thing. Nothing to be ashamed of.

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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    What? No, I would think she is hot and want to know her better, after which I may wish to sleep with her. See what I mean, there is something wrong with me. :facepalm2:
    I know what you are.

    You're a demisexual!

    Congratulations! It's nothing to be ashamed of.

    Edit: oh somebody told you first.
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    Reminder that while some of what OP is saying does sound like it could be placed on the greysexual/demisexual/asexual spectrum, that does not mean op is demi/grey/ace. Placing yourself on this spectrum is a lot less well defined that other sexualities e.g. gay, lesbian, bi, pan etc. As such, it is up to op to decide whether they feel like they identify with these orientations. So while suggesting that the op researches more about these identities is fine, it is not really ok to definitely say 'you are asexual' or 'you are demisexual':^_^::^_^:
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    So last year I became friends with a girl who I really liked, she was the most beautiful girl in the world, like a 10/10 and my type. She was interesting, fun and exciting too. So I really should have wanted to have sex with her, but I never did. I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to have sex with her as well, it was really annoying. :sad:

    I remember telling her that I liked her, but that I didn't want to sleep with her. And she said she "hadn't met anyone who hadn't wanted to bang her". This made me feel really disgusting, peculiar and abnormal. Like there was/is something wrong with me for not wanting to bang her. We are no longer friends and I don't know her anymore. I have since realised that I didn't want her because I didn't trust her and I was right not to trust her. But it still irks me when I think about it. How I will never come across anyone better looking or more attractive than her and I didn't want to sleep with her. Like what is the matter with me?

    I am such an idiot. I wish I was a different person who only cared about how people looked and other stuff didn't matter to me. :ashamed2: I feel like my life would be so much better and easier if I was like that. :banghead::cry2::sadnod::sigh::sorry:
    maybe she was just too beautiful in your eyes and you dont want it to be like forced?
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    I am not asexual. I like and want other girls who I trust. Even though they aren't my type physically.

    To be honest it makes me feel like a girl or less of a man because I don't just want to bang people who are hot. It isn't even the emotional connection that seems to matter to me. Rather just someone understanding me and treating me well, so I feel I can trust them. Then I want to sleep with them.
    The bit in bold, why? Who said being this way is feminine and not manly? You seem like a sweet heart, don't change please
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    (Original post by ilikechinesefood)
    What? No, I would think she is hot and want to know her better, after which I may wish to sleep with her. See what I mean, there is something wrong with me. :facepalm2:
    Hope you don't mind me asking, your age?
 
 
 
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