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boyfriends abusive behaviour Watch

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    Trust me he is probably smashing other chicks if hes going out every day like that. Dump him because it is most likely that he can't live without you. If he ever tries hitting you spin his jaw back to the womb.
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    (Original post by Nihaj)
    Trust me he is probably smashing other chicks if hes going out every day like that. Dump him because it is most likely that he can't live without you. If he ever tries hitting you spin his jaw back to the womb.
    he hasn't hit me but has shoved me a few times and pushed me against a wall. i told him i felt uneasy with him being out 5 times a week and drunk day and night, especially when he said he's not okay with me out once a week, and he's out with two girls he used to get with. but he said I'm in the wrong, and i should trust him and how unfair it is that i won't let him go out and do what he wants..
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    even now he is messaging me saying his opinion is that due to the photo I'm a whore but that I'm dumped for it and so we both can act how we want to
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    Just leave him?
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    Tell him that hes a sl*t for going out with two girls even though he is yours. Then walk away and call him a cheater :P
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    (Original post by Nihaj)
    Tell him that hes a sl*t for going out with two girls even though he is yours. Then walk away and call him a cheater :P
    he will call me a psycho and say i should trust him even if he's with them. its a bit of a cycle. me begging him to stay and him walking all over me and doing whatever he likes to me, and no matter what i can't walk away because i don't think I'm worth anything
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he will call me a psycho and say i should trust him even if he's with them. its a bit of a cycle. me begging him to stay and him walking all over me and doing whatever he likes to me, and no matter what i can't walk away because i don't think I'm worth anything
    If you truly thought you were worth nothing then you wouldn't have started this thread. Starting this thread tells me that you think you are worth more than him. His not worth anything and you should understand that.
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    He shown his real colors and it about time you exit the relationship. If you already have low self esteem then his verbal abuse and emotional abuse will lower it even more. I think being alone is better than better being an abusive relationship where you will start to wish to be alone. Being in a relationship with a guy like that has no benefits. He is not an amazing guy if he feels like he has to crush your spirits and dominate you to keep you in his life.

    I hate to say this but he might physically abuse you next. Even if you did something wrong, him lowering your self esteem and making you feel like you have no say in anything is just as wrong.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he will call me a psycho and say i should trust him even if he's with them. its a bit of a cycle. me begging him to stay and him walking all over me and doing whatever he likes to me, and no matter what i can't walk away because i don't think I'm worth anything
    I think thats called gaslighting. Could be wrong but the abuse you described could fit the bill. Makes you feel like you're the insane one for doubting and mistrusting him while he's out with girls and verbally degrading you?

    http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

    http://www.overcomebullying.org/gaslighting.html
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    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    I think thats called gaslighting. Could be wrong but the abuse you described could fit the bill. Makes you feel like you're the insane one for doubting and mistrusting him while he's out with girls and verbally degrading you?

    http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

    http://www.overcomebullying.org/gaslighting.html
    yeah id say this description fits quite well. he's still laughing at me and humiliating me that i send naked photos to him after he requested them from me and I'm a bit worried about what could happen. i think he's quite drunk as he drank since the morning, but that shouldn't be how you speak to someone you're with, drunk or sober
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah id say this description fits quite well. he's still laughing at me and humiliating me that i send naked photos to him after he requested them from me and I'm a bit worried about what could happen. i think he's quite drunk as he drank since the morning, but that shouldn't be how you speak to someone you're with, drunk or sober
    Leave him. Whatever happens cant be worse than what hes putting you through now, you said you wanted perspective and here it is; everyones telling you to walk away. So do it. Dont over think, dont complicate. Dump him, block his number and do not look back. He may seem important right now, but once you've left you'll wish you'd have done it earlier; hes just one bad experience.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried to leave and forget it, but i have nothing else to keep me going. i will feel strong for a day and think i can do it and immediately go back to him because i need him. he'll sit there telling me to **** off and that he's gonna get with other girls and that our year didn't mean a single thing and ill be begging him to stop and just to be okay with me. and he does as i ask, its great for 3 days and then i say something he doesn't like.. and he makes me feel like this. he wanted me so bad when he was with his ex and i had another boyfriend, he did everything to have me and then once he did suddenly everything went down at some point
    You need some help, is there anyone you can talk to to provide support there for you in person; a counselor, parent, close friend? Because as you said already it's a cycle you leave and go back; you need someone to stop you when you have that urge to go back or remind you why you left. Abuse is similar to drugs by the sounds of it, hard to go cold turkey after being dependent on it for so long. But your life would be for the better without him in it. So leave him and block his contact details so he can't and you can't contact him. Maybe try to distract yourself with other things, studying, getting fit in the gym or pursing clubs or hobbies?
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    (Original post by Random.guy)
    You need some help, is there anyone you can talk to to provide support there for you in person; a counselor, parent, close friend? Because as you said already it's a cycle you leave and go back; you need someone to stop you when you have that urge to go back or remind you why you left. Abuse is similar to drugs by the sounds of it, hard to go cold turkey after being dependent on it for so long. But your life would be for the better without him in it. So leave him and block his contact details so he can't and you can't contact him. Maybe try to distract yourself with other things, studying, getting fit in the gym or pursing clubs or hobbies?
    i have no one, i try to work as much as i can and go to the gym, but its hard to stay focused when its all i can think of. everyone thinks so highly of him, he's the nicest person to his friends and family, he wanted me so badly and once he had me he did this. he wasn't like this with his ex, and i bet he'd be amazing with the next girl he gets. i don't know why I'm suffering like this and what i did to deserve it.he says I'm the prettiest and best girlfriend he will ever have, but obviously i can be better so that he treats me better too.. he wanted to propose next year and spoke about it all the time and how he can't wait to have a family with me, yet he dumps me every other day.. its such a mind**** what am i doing wrong
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have no one, i try to work as much as i can and go to the gym, but its hard to stay focused when its all i can think of. everyone thinks so highly of him, he's the nicest person to his friends and family, he wanted me so badly and once he had me he did this. he wasn't like this with his ex, and i bet he'd be amazing with the next girl he gets. i don't know why I'm suffering like this and what i did to deserve it.he says I'm the prettiest and best girlfriend he will ever have, but obviously i can be better so that he treats me better too.. he wanted to propose next year and spoke about it all the time and how he can't wait to have a family with me, yet he dumps me every other day.. its such a mind**** what am i doing wrong
    You aren't doing anything wrong, it's all on him. He sounds like a douche all he wanted was the thrill of getting you from the sounds of it. Additionally, if he does propose reject him..maybe try to record some of his abuse (in secret) as proof to show your family or the police if he gets physical. Who'd want to start a family with someone who is abusive. Also, he will probably be treating the next girl just as bad as he is treating you, all sunshine and happiness until they're with him for longer and his true nature comes out. Take care

    PM me if you'd like to talk more in private.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have no one, i try to work as much as i can and go to the gym, but its hard to stay focused when its all i can think of. everyone thinks so highly of him, he's the nicest person to his friends and family, he wanted me so badly and once he had me he did this. he wasn't like this with his ex, and i bet he'd be amazing with the next girl he gets. i don't know why I'm suffering like this and what i did to deserve it.he says I'm the prettiest and best girlfriend he will ever have, but obviously i can be better so that he treats me better too.. he wanted to propose next year and spoke about it all the time and how he can't wait to have a family with me, yet he dumps me every other day.. its such a mind**** what am i doing wrong
    Look, one just dump him (IK its hard in such situations) and try to move on, even if it takes some time. If you're going to keep letting him totter all over you, say what he wants, do what he wants, then he clearly isn't going to value you. And even if you break up, take a stand that whatever tactic he tries, you ain't gonna go running back to him the second day, like you did before, cause yet again its just going to make him think that your his play toy, and he can get you/use you whenever he wants etc.

    And the highlighted bit. You know he's all nice to his family/friends cause he act act like however he wants to with them? You see. His friends arn't going to let him throw them around or call them such things cause they have their own stand with these things.

    And if you still want to be with him, the only way you can get an input in this relationship is to become a strong woman with a strong persona. And when I mean that, t also includes sticking to your guns and keeping that photo there for example no matter what your bf's opinion is, cause when you changed it, at that moment he got his way. You see? You know your not a whore and its your body, your life right? And you know he's cheating, so just drop him first immediately rather than letting him make excuses, bully you, and mess your head up and then dump YOU, saying it's your fault when it isn't
    It's hard when your already in that manipulated state, but just try to regain back some boldness and don't let any one push you around cause you are fabulous giiirll.

    If you wanna talk anytime just PM me
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    How is it possible for someone to have this much power over you? This really is a rare sight. Don't be weak, you only get ONE life, so live it up and look after number 1 (yourself) because at the end of the day everyone is out to beat you in life, be it at a job interview or exam or getting on a train quickly to find the seat that could have been yours had you been faster. Everyone else except those you truly care about such as family are insignificant. We humans always use each other in one way or another to feed our needs, some examples being for money, companionship or to better our position in something, just don't get used or use others for the wrong things. Sounds like you're after his "affection" and "approval".

    Live your life and dump the idiot.
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    Leave him.
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    dump his ass
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    even now he is messaging me saying his opinion is that due to the photo I'm a whore but that I'm dumped for it and so we both can act how we want to
    Looks like he solved your problem for you?

    If you can't stop yourself from running back to him, then maybe make it physically impossible - work abroad for a year. New Zealand sounds great, just what you need.
 
 
 
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