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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Friends wise I am super self-conscious and have social anxiety which does not help. I don't really do any clubs cause I'm scared of what people will think of me!
    I can sympathise with this. I used to feel like this a lot. You know what really helped? Working. I work in retail so I don't have much of a choice but to talk with people and effectively have loads of strangers who could all be silently judging me.

    So maybe try put yourself in a similar situation. Volunteer at a shop to get you talking with strangers. Host your own party. Nothing large, just a little one. Do something that puts you a little outside your comfort zone and build on that.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not many, i think that's one of the issues, I have nothing interesting to talk to about with people making me a dull person.
    Oh hush, I'm sure you're a super interesting person. It's just the wrong people listening. I'll let you in on a little secret. The vast majority of people don't have anything interesting to talk about. They have dull, uninteresting lives and fill it will dull, uninteresting chatter. You know what the most common topic of conversation is at work for me? The weather. Customers, colleagues. It's always mentioned. We have a great big glass fronted shop so I know what the weather is like. But people still feel the need to comment on the rain. Or the sun.

    The majority of your random conversations with people will be dull. That's a way of life unless you have something to talk about specifically. I don't have much choice but to comment on the weather because I know next to nothing about the strangers I'm interacting with. Nothing to do with a lack of hobbies.

    Then if I'm with people I know a bit better, I may still not have anything interesting to talk about because our hobbies don't overlap. Meet people with the same interests as you. Then you know you'll be able to talk about something. If not strike up a conversation about something random. "Oh that's a nice dress, where did you get it?" "Planning anything nice over summer?" "What did you do over the weekend?" Interesting is always subjective.

    And as a side note craving interesting conversation is a sign of intelligence. You aren't satisfied with dull convo. That's a good thing. Hold onto that quality.

    If that still doesn't get you going then look into conversational technique books and resources. I'm currently reading How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes. Lots of good stuff and super easy to read through.


    (Original post by 09HB)
    If you want to talk or anything, just message me and i'll reply when i see it
    Seconded. I am also free to chat any time. About anything.
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    Befriend the people that are regarded as "sad" by everyone else. For starters they're usually nice people and they throw some pretty cool parties if they can get their hands on some alcohol and speakers.
    I'm 16 and I've only been to 2 parties and kissed one girl. Yeah it's fun, but it's not the end of the world.
    Life's not about getting pissed and doing drugs and partying every weekend. Life's about balancing work and play. You just need to find a little bit of play if I'm honest, but if you try hard enough it's not that hard.
    Little tip: smaller parties are 1000x better than big parties. Just have a little to drink (get tipsy but not drunk). Everything's hilarious and you won't suffer the next day 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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    You need to let go of the idea of 'normality' - it's purely a social construction. I didn't go to my first party until I was 17, and I've not dated anyone since I was 15 (I'm 20 now) - but it doesn't bother me yano, it shouldn't bother you.

    There is no such thing as the 'normal' or correct way to live your life. Just do what you want and screw whatever expectations society forcesupon you.
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    (Original post by Acsel)
    I can sympathise with this. I used to feel like this a lot. You know what really helped? Working. I work in retail so I don't have much of a choice but to talk with people and effectively have loads of strangers who could all be silently judging me.

    So maybe try put yourself in a similar situation. Volunteer at a shop to get you talking with strangers. Host your own party. Nothing large, just a little one. Do something that puts you a little outside your comfort zone and build on that.



    Oh hush, I'm sure you're a super interesting person. It's just the wrong people listening. I'll let you in on a little secret. The vast majority of people don't have anything interesting to talk about. They have dull, uninteresting lives and fill it will dull, uninteresting chatter. You know what the most common topic of conversation is at work for me? The weather. Customers, colleagues. It's always mentioned. We have a great big glass fronted shop so I know what the weather is like. But people still feel the need to comment on the rain. Or the sun.

    The majority of your random conversations with people will be dull. That's a way of life unless you have something to talk about specifically. I don't have much choice but to comment on the weather because I know next to nothing about the strangers I'm interacting with. Nothing to do with a lack of hobbies.

    Then if I'm with people I know a bit better, I may still not have anything interesting to talk about because our hobbies don't overlap. Meet people with the same interests as you. Then you know you'll be able to talk about something. If not strike up a conversation about something random. "Oh that's a nice dress, where did you get it?" "Planning anything nice over summer?" "What did you do over the weekend?" Interesting is always subjective.

    And as a side note craving interesting conversation is a sign of intelligence. You aren't satisfied with dull convo. That's a good thing. Hold onto that quality.

    If that still doesn't get you going then look into conversational technique books and resources. I'm currently reading How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes. Lots of good stuff and super easy to read through.




    Seconded. I am also free to chat any time. About anything.
    Wowza!! Thank you hugely for all this amazing advice. I recently started working in a beachside cafe and have already seen slow improvements. Thank you again!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 17. I have never been to a house party (not even New Years Eve...), I have never been kissed, heck I haven't even been out the house past midnight (accept coming back from a holiday or something).
    I get weird about people touching me, mainly cause i've kinda been deprived of physical contact for like 3 years.
    I don't know what to do.
    I just want to be normal.
    I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years but I just can't find any friends that I fit with. I have moved about friendship groups loads and became really close with one girl, but she's moving schools now.
    I didn't go to prom last year, I probably won't end up going next year now
    What do i do??

    ohhh, don't mind
    it's not the end of the world
    you wasn't lose anything yest
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    They're overrated
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 17. I have never been to a house party (not even New Years Eve...), I have never been kissed, heck I haven't even been out the house past midnight (accept coming back from a holiday or something).
    I get weird about people touching me, mainly cause i've kinda been deprived of physical contact for like 3 years.
    I don't know what to do.
    I just want to be normal.
    I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years but I just can't find any friends that I fit with. I have moved about friendship groups loads and became really close with one girl, but she's moving schools now.
    I didn't go to prom last year, I probably won't end up going next year now
    What do i do??
    Same lol, but no worries, there's more to life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 17. I have never been to a house party (not even New Years Eve...), I have never been kissed, heck I haven't even been out the house past midnight (accept coming back from a holiday or something).
    I get weird about people touching me, mainly cause i've kinda been deprived of physical contact for like 3 years.
    I don't know what to do.
    I just want to be normal.
    I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years but I just can't find any friends that I fit with. I have moved about friendship groups loads and became really close with one girl, but she's moving schools now.
    I didn't go to prom last year, I probably won't end up going next year now
    What do i do??
    reach out to people, you can't expect them to do all the work although its hard to put yourself out there- I know from experience

    Also I'm a fairly normal 18 year old (I go to frequent parties, done a bit of the ol' kissing and stay out late...) but when I turned 17 I had never done any of those things. You're not a freak, its surprisingly common trust me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like I'm wasting my teenage years but I just can't find any friends that I fit with.
    I went to parties and still wasted my teen years
    Just find something you enjoy doing and become good at it, it's far more fulfilling then getting blackout drunk
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wowza!! Thank you hugely for all this amazing advice. I recently started working in a beachside cafe and have already seen slow improvements. Thank you again!
    That's good to hear. It takes a while but you'll look back in a few months and really see the difference. Keep at it!
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    I didn't go prom and I haven't really been to a party either. I don't feel like I'm missing out at all. At the end of the day I would rather better spend my time revising for my exams and then have all the fun in the future earning a decent salary.
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    If you're going to uni there's be plenty of parties to go to
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, I appreciate that !!xx
    No worries! Glad working is helping
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    Go to clubs at school and start talking to people. Then start slowly by slowly going out with them in free time. The later on progressing to parties when you feel comfortable
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    If it makes you feel any better, I'm 18, and I haven't ever had a boyfriend, been kissed, or been to a party either.

    I mean, I do kind of have someone close to a boyfriend at the moment, but nothing physical has happened yet.

    But if that has taught me anything, it's that you just have to be patient. Because at least it seems like things are progressing. Which is something that I could not say a few years ago.

    Also, I'm just not really the house party type. So even if I do get invited to parties, I usually just don't go, because I don't like it when houses are packed with loud people, basically.
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    I didn't go to my year 11 prom or go to my first party until I was 5 months off being 18, even so going to a party doesn't mean your making the most of your teenage life. Just do what you want to do

    But with friends, I guess you need to go outside your comfort zone and just talk to loads of people and get involved until you find the right people who you can chill with?
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    (Original post by AstroNandos)
    I didn't go to my year 11 prom or go to my first party until I was 5 months off being 18, even so going to a party doesn't mean your making the most of your teenage life. Just do what you want to do

    But with friends, I guess you need to go outside your comfort zone and just talk to loads of people and get involved until you find the right people who you can chill with?
    Yeah, you're probably right. I think I'm getting there, even with talking to the people in my classes at school (somehow i've even found that hard to do...) but with exams to bond over I am definitely making some progress.

    Thank you for replying :-)
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    I'm 19 and I actually hate parties because I've never seen the point of them. Half the time, you'll end up only interacting with a few people at a party, and even then, you'll have a hard time talking to them because there's loud music in the background. So it'd be much more effective to just chat to your buddies in a smaller venue, like a cafe, where you can actually talk.(Yeah, I know a lot of people enjoy the atmosphere, but personally, I hate the atmosphere because loud music and bright lights just get on my nerves)
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    I have never been to one either. Did not even bother to attend prom as well.

    I mean, why would you want to be surrounded by inebriated people?
    It's not as fun as it looks from the outside peering in. Drunk people are either belligerent or very emotional... That does not sound fun. :/
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    My advice is just go to one party. If you feel like you do not fit in trust me you will. I have been to a ton of these parties. Im 16 and tbh i wasn't really a popular or attractive guy. But theres something different about parties. There is no judgements. Everyone lets you do what you want for some strange reason. The biggest fear will be consumption of alcohol or drugs (if there is any) but you just have to say no if you don't want any. People will probably respect you more for rejecting it if they are all out of their mind. Itss a good experience factor nevertheless.
 
 
 
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