Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Young Muslim Female needing some guidance in life... Watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Salam Alaykum,

    As a muslim who doesn't over I understand where you are coming from. I felt disconnected with God and decided to pray for often and read the Qur'an. I feel like a better muslim and watching videos from youtubers such as Adam Saleh and the merciful servant increased my iman. Fast forward a bit, I'm more religious and a better person. Remember you don''t need to wear a hijab, only to be modest
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay so I don't really know where to begin, there's times where I've really thought about things and It's happened again recently and it's made me feel down so I thought I'd ask for help since I need some answers, some guidance. Everything I've just written here I just did it all in one go trying to express everything I can clearly what's on my mind, sorry if it doesn't all make sense and for it being a long essay.. So, I've been having lots of thought about life and religion. I just feel a bit lost and confused and I don't really know how to live life. I'm not having a lot of doubts but more just questioning about life and religion. I just need to tell someone about all my thoughts and everything and hopefully get some advice too because really I don't know how to live how I should live my life…I do believe in Islam but then again maybe I don't truly believe everything, because which Muslim follows every single rule in the Quran?My religion is Islam and I'm a Muslim teenage girl. I was born into a Muslim family, all my family is Muslim, as well as my relatives and cousins etc. I was brought up with being a Muslim and following Islam. But im not really that religious or strict. My family in general isn't really either. Ever since I was young, it was the norm to go mosque after school and My brothers and sisters went but I started late until I was like 8 years old I think. But then I stopped going after like 2 years I didn't really like it much. Then after I had a teacher come to my house and read at home. Didn't like the teacher and after a while I started going to this girls house to read, she was only 2 years older than me but she'd help me read and I wasn't even on Quran that time, I still had to learn the books before that. And eventually I was on Quran and I had finished it once. But I just did all of that cause I had to, you know being brought up as Muslim you just have to do these things but I never understood things properly. Okay that was just a bit of background not that relevant,, but more to the point, I'm just struggling to be a good Muslim, it's so hard to be a good Muslim. Like I want to be the perfect Muslim, but obviously there is no such thing as being perfect. But a really good Muslim, but I don't know if I can ever do that. Hate to say it but I don't even practice at all, read the Quran or pray. I've never actually properly prayed ever in my life. Never 5 times a day. I've lied countless of times saying that I've prayed, for example when I went to mosque and I had to record when I've prayed and then get my parents to sign it but it was all fake. There are so many times I touched and read the Quran without having done wudu or I have but then it breaks… And it's because it was just so tired or lazy. And I hate myself for things looking back it. Like my childhood, I didn't really enjoy I, it wasn't that good. But that was the past, so no point dwelling on the past. But In today's age and society, living in the UK, in a western society it really is hard to be such a good Muslim. Well really it isn't hard if you just follow the rules and what the Quran says. But like, for me, I don't even pray at all, and I know I should I feel so bad but then again my family aren't actually that strict as in they don't force me to do whatever, both my parents do pray every single day and read Quran and even watch Islamic lectures, they do tell me to pray and often say it and I'm just like okay, I will or something. None of my siblings pray at all, probably just on Eid. I don't even fast properly, it's so hard to and I hate being hungry all the time. I find it really hard to keep going, and I'm underweight and I'm trying to eat more but at this time I can't. Like I have fasted many times before, but I haven't kept every single fast, like I intentionally don't fast sometimes but other times I do but I don't even pray, I just fast..and I know the obvious things that break fast but I just find it hard to not listen to music at all.. Does that really break the fast? And watching tv. And I know you shouldn't even really do those things especially during Ramadan, you should be praying and reading more..but I want to do enjoyable things too like play piano and listen to music.. It's just so hard.But just now in general every day life. We all do haram things and sin and we do it knowingly it as well. As in, I love listening to music and all things music, Ive taken piano lessons and I still learn to play the piano, and I want to become really good at playing piano. Like if I actually had to live without music, I'd find it hard and life would be boring. Can't I do things I like to, as well as trying to do good things. It's so hard to explain what I'm really thinking and you probably don't understand properly what I'm trying to get at because really I don't really understand either. Music is haram, forbidden yet many of us listen to it and engage in music activity. I know if I wanted to be a really good Muslim, you shouldn't be doing this but I just can't give it up like, all my life I've been brought up in the western society and now just music is a part of everyday life. I intentionally listen to music and spend time doing it, and I know it's actually in the book of Quran a waste of time but it's so hard to not do this, it's a part of me. And there's just so many other big and little things that I do that isn't really liked but it's just a part of my life. Like, I just can't explain it well it's really frustrating me right now. I'm such a bad Muslim, I intentionally don't pray,, but I know I shouldn't but All the things I should do is what I'm meant to do as a Muslim, it's more about following the duty rather than doing it because you want to and not because you have to. What I'm trying to say is I want to have the want to do these things to be a better Muslim not just do it for the sake of doing these things so I can be seen as better Muslim…. Don't know if that makes sense.The main thing is I want to be that perfect Muslim.. But I know I can't. Like I don't wear a hijab, or any religious clothing at all, only if I was go pray etc. I don’t know why but Ive always never worn a scarf and don’t intend to because I've never had, like That is just how I am now. My hair is always out but that's just the decision I made, like if someone told me to wear a scarf I wouldn't want to. But then when I think about people wearing a scarf, it's good to but then What's the point of wearing a scarf if we do bad things anyway?But like I don't know I just don't wear a scarf and haven't thought about wearing one and I guess that is my personal choice, but can I still be a good Muslim not wearing a scarf in public? Theres just so many problems, how can I be truly happy when I know I'm not being the perfect Muslim. The problem is that I want to please others, but really I should just do what pleases God, but everything that I do most of the stuff I just don't. I jus don't even know what Im saying, nothing is coming clear, I just feel really frustrated and I feel down. Questioning and thinking about my faith really gets me down I don't want to be like this. Life is just so hard I'm struggling, what is the purpose of life? That is to get into heaven right? And to get into heaven ones good deeds must overweigh the bad deeds right? So Shall I just try to do as many good things as I can, and even I do bad things, knowing ad unknowingly, as long as I try my best to do good and have good intentions that's what counts right? I just don't know what I'm living for anymore, What to do. I just want to be at a good path.. But what I do in life, does it matter what I do as long as I'm happy? Surely God would want us to be happy with whatever we do in life, as long as I am still trying to be a good Muslim, at the same time. Like we do bad things, but also good things to make up for it.. It's just such a struggle. Like lots of Muslim girls, pluck their eyebrows too, and it's haram but they still do it anyway. And it does look good when people do that, and I'm thinking should I do it too? Because what's the point, we do other bad things anyway like listening to music. Also, as long as we don't do any of he major sins, like drinking alcohol, and we try our best to avoid he minor sins, and do the best good things we can.. Is that okay? I know, God have us free will but At the same time he gave us the Quran. And we're meant to follow all the rules.. But it's like I'm choosing to follow some and others not.. And at some point in my life I've started becoming more aware of what I eat and I always check the ingredients, because there are so many haram ingredients in foods but sometimes there are times when we just eat things and we don't know for certain whether it's completely halal or not. I mean I try my best to make sure everything I eat is halal, and if it's it then it can't be my fault entirely, it's to like I'm intentionally choosing to eat it, it's impossible to know whether anything is truly halal or not.. So yeah.. Also why do I have so many desires and habits that are bad and go against what we shouldn't do. I hate it, it becomes a cycle I have so many bad habits. Even though I don't pray right now, I hope that one Day I start but I feel like I'll never be able to pray 5 times a day. I do pray to Allah in my head whenever I need help and I do remember Allah and think about just in general almost all the time. But, I'm just so lazy in life right now and ugh I'm not a good human being. I'm just so lost, I I really don't know what to do as a Muslim living in this corrupted world..but no it's not like I'm not considering changing faiths or just not being a Muslim anymore, even though I've thought about if I wasn't a Muslim. Life would be easier cos I can do whatever I want..but still that is such a sin and the people who've done it and became ex Muslim I don't understand why. But then again it's not my life. I've just been brought into the world as a Muslim, but I don't even know a lot about Islam, like all the times I've read learning Quran, we just read it without even knowing what it means? What's the point then? There are English translations, but it's hard to understand because the English used is a bit different. I've just been rambling on and on, nothing is clear to me and I feel so hopeless right now.There's so many more issues and concerns I can't think clear enough to put it in words. There's also so many things in life I don't understand and things that I never will…and just want to change and become better, but I don't know how to start and it's so hard.


    (Sorry, I know it's not helpful; I couldn't resist)
    Attachments Pending Approval
  1. File Type: jpg Skeleton-on-Computer2.jpg (35.7 KB)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You're beating yurself up too much about your past. I think you need to understand how mericful the creator is ? Your faith should be stronger than your fear of failure. .
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Ok this is going to be long but with paragraphs so dw lol.

    Listen to nasheeds, trust me, listen to it daily. Try to pray once a day and then continue. I see this as a test from Allah and I think most people have been through it but you need to make a connection with Allah, it'll do you good. Do you have a lot of dreams about Heaven and Hell? I did and I kept on seeing myself go to Hell and I saw scary things and I told people and they said it was a sign. Think to yourself as to why you can't do things? If you can't give a solid answer then it might be Satan poisoning your mind. It may sound stupid but trust me on this one. Ramadan is coming up so this is the best time to do this.

    Forget about people for a minute, and think about yourself and Allah. You're here as a slave of Allah. Do you want to go to Hell? I think not. Read the Quran in English and you'll realize how scary life can be. I mean, all the Quran is a book filled with stories that are going to help Muslims through life. And remember, this life is a test, the result is coming.

    PS. This might be really all over the place
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Jesus Christ, paragraphs please. :eek4:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    If you can't give a solid answer then it might be Satan poisoning your mind.
    :toofunny:

    I'm speechless. :lol: :rofl:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josb)
    :toofunny:

    I'm speechless. :lol: :rofl:
    That's what my Mum describes it.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    That's what my Mum describes it.
    My mum also told me about the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus when I was a kid.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Damn thats basically summed up my thoughts too. Trying to not do all the sins and stuff but idk why...

    (edit)
    Remember that we can all be forgiven about the past and there are things I've done that I cant even look anyone in the eye and say, and keep my dignity intact. Start slow and steady and maybe pray once a day then slowly increase, or become non religious, but I have considered that too and I still have faith in something else who is looking out for me, and for us all.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    The minute you leave religion - and begin living a life without worry, dismay and divine expectation - you will become so much happier for it. My best-friend is an ex-Muslim, who, like you, comes from a non-strict Muslim household. I think you need to have a good think about whether you are actually religious.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    Ok this is going to be long but with paragraphs so dw lol.

    Listen to nasheeds, trust me, listen to it daily. Try to pray once a day and then continue. I see this as a test from Allah and I think most people have been through it but you need to make a connection with Allah, it'll do you good. Do you have a lot of dreams about Heaven and Hell? I did and I kept on seeing myself go to Hell and I saw scary things and I told people and they said it was a sign. Think to yourself as to why you can't do things? If you can't give a solid answer then it might be Satan poisoning your mind. It may sound stupid but trust me on this one. Ramadan is coming up so this is the best time to do this.

    Forget about people for a minute, and think about yourself and Allah. You're here as a slave of Allah. Do you want to go to Hell? I think not. Read the Quran in English and you'll realize how scary life can be. I mean, all the Quran is a book filled with stories that are going to help Muslims through life. And remember, this life is a test, the result is coming.

    PS. This might be really all over the place
    What benevolent God would send anyone to eternal torture for not meeting His 'standards'? "A slave of Allah"? Life isn't scary, people like you are.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jake4198)
    What benevolent God would send anyone to eternal torture for not meeting His 'standards'? "A slave of Allah"? Life isn't scary, people like you are.
    I've been called scary before but usually because I give a killer stare lmao. But maybe I wrote that wrong, we should TRY and meet the standards of Allah. I am not perfect Muslim but I'm trying and it's a long process.

    Think of it like this, if we continuously sin despite knowing it's bad, should we be rewarded? Like really?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    I've been called scary before but usually because I give a killer stare lmao. But maybe I wrote that wrong, we should TRY and meet the standards of Allah. I am not perfect Muslim but I'm trying and it's a long process.

    Think of it like this, if we continuously sin despite knowing it's bad, should we be rewarded? Like really?
    Rewarded? Perhaps not. Sent to eternal pain and suffering? Absolutely not.

    It's completely unbeknownst to me how people can worship a God who - as far as I can see - preaches hate, skewed exceptionalism and mass oppression on women, homosexuals and non-Muslims.

    You sound like a nice person, so I'm not going to attack you for your ill-minded comments. However, being a nice person is about being tolerant, decent and accepting of other people. More than anything, I want people to be happy. From what I can see, people like you live in a constant state of superstition - scared about the eternal consequences and terrified to disrespect almighty God. It's sad.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    my word of support and guidence : paragraphs
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jake4198)
    Rewarded? Perhaps not. Sent to eternal pain and suffering? Absolutely not.

    It's completely unbeknownst to me how people can worship a God who - as far as I can see - preaches hate, skewed exceptionalism and mass oppression on women, homosexuals and non-Muslims.

    You sound like a nice person, so I'm not going to attack you for your ill-minded comments. However, being a nice person is about being tolerant, decent and accepting of other people. More than anything, I want people to be happy. From what I can see, people like you live in a state of superstition - scared about eternal consequences and terrified to disrespect almighty God.
    Oh uhm thanks for thinking I'm nice but they're not ill-minded comments .
    Islam is such a loving religion, I mean how can a religion preach hate when it says to not even hurt a fly (legit is says that). Same, I want people to be happy because this life would be pretty miserable without happiness. Most of the time, Islam can seem so complicated because most Muslims follow different things and preach that while others don't have enough education in religion so they become lost, if you know what I mean.

    Also, I've done so many sins in my short life but you can always ask for forgiveness. And, that I think is alright and not ill-minded tbh. PLUS ISLAM DOESN'T ALLOW OPPRESSION that is such a big thing for everyone but Islam doesn't condemn this. Women and men are equal and as there is a guide of modesty for women, there is one for men as well. This is something that culture twists Islam in general. However many Muslims now are just showing Islam in a bad light.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Read most of it and I get what you mean. I can relate to it very well, I get these thoughts a lot too. Like you want to be a great Muslim, but the motivation isn't there? Or the desire just doesn't develop.

    Not sure what to suggest, I guess just take it slow and make small changes to be a better Muslim. That's what I'm trying to do.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)

    Think of it like this, if we continuously sin despite knowing it's bad, should we be rewarded? Like really?
    I prefer to be happy. I don't care if I have to sin for that.

    Heaven and Hell don't exist anyway.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josb)
    I prefer to be happy. I don't care if I have to sin for that.

    Heaven and Hell don't exist anyway.
    Then that's your choice and that's a matter of opinion.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    OP pm me
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josb)
    I prefer to be happy. I don't care if I have to sin for that.

    Heaven and Hell don't exist anyway.
    iv already got a first row seat in hell, there aint no repenting for me
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 8, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.