Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    not sure why you say you had very little chance of returning from the 'Stan ? Only a tiny fraction of Our Boys did not return.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest mate, if you actually were/are in the marines (I'm doubtful) then you need to toughen up a bit.

    RM training is amongst the hardest in the world, the things you're exposed to is designed to make you be able to handle horrific situations far worse than what you've described.

    After all, you don't join for anyone other than yourself.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SentryE3D)
    To be honest mate, if you actually were/are in the marines (I'm doubtful) then you need to toughen up a bit.

    RM training is amongst the hardest in the world, the things you're exposed to is designed to make you be able to handle horrific situations far worse than what you've described.

    After all, you don't join for anyone other than yourself.
    Are u retarded when hes not deployed hes effectively a civilian the UK/home is not a warzone
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Damn this making me feel mosh


    Salute to the soldier though, you the real MVP
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Xenon17)
    Are u retarded when hes not deployed hes effectively a civilian the UK/home is not a warzone
    Lol no. Just because you're not overseas doesn't mean you're effectively a civillian when in the UK. The majority of a serviceman's career will be in the UK
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ItsJamie91)
    Never done this before, was suggested by a friend to post up my situation here, forgive me if it's in the incorrect section.

    So I'm going through a very tough situation, for which I would like to hear your opinions on please.

    I joined the Royal Marines in 2012 without my parents knowing. Eventually when they found out, they clearly stated that they will not support me throughout this journey I have chosen. I thought this was just a phase which would eventually fade away, but I was ever so wrong.

    After my training was completed, I was deployed to Afghanistan when I was 19 almost immediately. I said farewell to my three sisters which was a very emotional time as you could imagine, however my parents showed no emotion what so ever and didn't even say goodbye for when I left for deployment. They kept saying they will not support war criminals and murderers, so I left without my parents blessing, enroute to a war zone which was the most heartbreaking moment ever...knowing that the chances of me coming back were very slim and that could be the last time I could see them.

    Before I left for deployment, my dad told me to remove him as my next of kin, so I had to put my sister as my next of kin who was more than happy to do so. This was one of many lows which I endured.

    During the deployment, I used to write home to my family, to which my three sisters always wrote back and sent gifts etc which was very nice & relieving to see, however my parents never wrote back, and according to my sisters they refused to write back.

    When I miraculously returned home, we had a homecoming parade to which there were hundreds of family and friends gathered to welcome us home. It was a beautiful moment until I found out that nobody from my family was in attendance. That moment was truly heart breaking to the point I had to fight so hard to keep back tears. I had random people who I've never seen or met before hugging me, with tears of joy welcoming me home which was a very nice and comforting feeling, but my very own ditched me...

    I stayed after the parade for about 4/5 hours thinking they may be running late. I was sitting there all alone at the ground in uniform just after dark, where my Captain was going home with his wife and kids and spotted me. He asked me why I'm still here, and figured out what's going on since he somewhat knew my story about my parents. He hugged me and invited me over for dinner at his house, which eventually led to me breaking down into tears. I didn't go for dinner as I'm pretty sure it was a kind gesture, I don't wanna mess up his homecoming lol but the gesture itself melted my heart.

    Eventually when I came home, my sisters were full of excitement to see me home, as was I, it was a massive relief. My parents on the other hand, barely showed any emotion once again, they were treating it as if I was coming home from the shops or something. But ah well, atleast I got to see them again which was all I wanted at the time. When I asked my sisters why they didn't come to the parade, they said my parents prevented them from coming...

    The first thing my parents asked me after I entered my "home" was if I thought about where I'm going to stay...that was another blow I had to take. I just got home, and it was all good. They kept banging on about how they wont let a war criminal and murderer live under their roof.

    My parents wont acknowledge me as their son, whenever someone asks them how many kids they have, they just say they have three daughters...

    They wont let me come home to visit my sisters, so we just facetime all the time or organise an outing or something where we can spend time together which is tough.

    This whole situation really messed with me mentally/emotionally to the point where peoeple were thinking that I was taking it tough to settle back after the tour. I have to explain to everyone my situation and the fact that the tour itself isn't the issue, it's the **** I had to deal with after coming home which has messed with my head.

    I cannot begin to explain how retarded and absurd their arguements/comments are, to the point where I don't even respond or retalliate to their claims. They're very narrow minded and frankly, retarded. I know they're my parents, I still obviously respect them but what they've put me through is utterly wrong and unnecessary.

    Do you think what my parents are doing is justified? Do I deserve to go through this?
    You are not a war criminal, you got my support
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SentryE3D)
    To be honest mate, if you actually were/are in the marines (I'm doubtful) then you need to toughen up a bit.

    RM training is amongst the hardest in the world, the things you're exposed to is designed to make you be able to handle horrific situations far worse than what you've described.

    After all, you don't join for anyone other than yourself.
    It's this mentality that tells lads to man up and ignores thing like PTSD. Being a soldier has very little to do with being a 'tough' guy.

    I think his parents should be supportive, regardless. Soldiers don't decide where they get sent to. That's for politicians. If they voted labour, you can thank them for Bliars efforts sending lads and lasses into Iraq and Afghan.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Supersaps)
    It's this mentality that tells lads to man up and ignores thing like PTSD. Being a soldier has very little to do with being a 'tough' guy.

    I think his parents should be supportive, regardless. Soldiers don't decide where they get sent to. That's for politicians. If they voted labour, you can thank them for Bliars efforts sending lads and lasses into Iraq and Afghan.
    Perhaps, but saying things like 'there's a very slim chance of coming back from Afghan' screams more of attention seeking really.

    I struggle to see how a legitimate marine that's done a tour would post something like this. There's better people to talk to and even better forums than a student forum (and in the chat section too, not even the Armed Forces area)
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SentryE3D)
    Perhaps, but saying things like 'there's a very slim chance of coming back from Afghan' screams more of attention seeking really.

    I struggle to see how a legitimate marine that's done a tour would post something like this. There's better people to talk to and even better forums than a student forum (and in the chat section too, not even the Armed Forces area)
    It isn't about him being a marine the issue is clearly his parents being abusive and unsupportive or do you not see that?
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    How would you feel if your kid turned out to be a cold blooded murderer? You werent fighting for any cause worth a dime unlike the afghan locals you and your buddies slaughtered who were just protecting themselves so yes you are a war criminal and i cant blame your parents for denying your existance.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    This isn't about war crimes. This is about the relationship between you and your parents. Your parents have raised you and in doing so have made huge sacrifices. You have then gone and done a massive thing without consulting them or taking their feelings or opinions into account. I would be similarly devastated if my kids joined up and can sympathise with your parents position. The best thing you can do is put your parents first, apologise and start listening to them. The army and war evoke strong emotions. You are a member of an organisation whose primary purpose is to kill and destroy the other lot despite what the marketing gumph might say. That is a big deal for a lot of people. When you can come to terms with that you might be able to reestablish contact with your folks.

    Good luck!
    • Political Ambassador
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by ItsJamie91)
    Never done this before, was suggested by a friend to post up my situation here, forgive me if it's in the incorrect section.

    So I'm going through a very tough situation, for which I would like to hear your opinions on please.

    I joined the Royal Marines in 2012 without my parents knowing. Eventually when they found out, they clearly stated that they will not support me throughout this journey I have chosen. I thought this was just a phase which would eventually fade away, but I was ever so wrong.

    After my training was completed, I was deployed to Afghanistan when I was 19 almost immediately. I said farewell to my three sisters which was a very emotional time as you could imagine, however my parents showed no emotion what so ever and didn't even say goodbye for when I left for deployment. They kept saying they will not support war criminals and murderers, so I left without my parents blessing, enroute to a war zone which was the most heartbreaking moment ever...knowing that the chances of me coming back were very slim and that could be the last time I could see them.

    Before I left for deployment, my dad told me to remove him as my next of kin, so I had to put my sister as my next of kin who was more than happy to do so. This was one of many lows which I endured.

    During the deployment, I used to write home to my family, to which my three sisters always wrote back and sent gifts etc which was very nice & relieving to see, however my parents never wrote back, and according to my sisters they refused to write back.

    When I miraculously returned home, we had a homecoming parade to which there were hundreds of family and friends gathered to welcome us home. It was a beautiful moment until I found out that nobody from my family was in attendance. That moment was truly heart breaking to the point I had to fight so hard to keep back tears. I had random people who I've never seen or met before hugging me, with tears of joy welcoming me home which was a very nice and comforting feeling, but my very own ditched me...

    I stayed after the parade for about 4/5 hours thinking they may be running late. I was sitting there all alone at the ground in uniform just after dark, where my Captain was going home with his wife and kids and spotted me. He asked me why I'm still here, and figured out what's going on since he somewhat knew my story about my parents. He hugged me and invited me over for dinner at his house, which eventually led to me breaking down into tears. I didn't go for dinner as I'm pretty sure it was a kind gesture, I don't wanna mess up his homecoming lol but the gesture itself melted my heart.

    Eventually when I came home, my sisters were full of excitement to see me home, as was I, it was a massive relief. My parents on the other hand, barely showed any emotion once again, they were treating it as if I was coming home from the shops or something. But ah well, atleast I got to see them again which was all I wanted at the time. When I asked my sisters why they didn't come to the parade, they said my parents prevented them from coming...

    The first thing my parents asked me after I entered my "home" was if I thought about where I'm going to stay...that was another blow I had to take. I just got home, and it was all good. They kept banging on about how they wont let a war criminal and murderer live under their roof.

    My parents wont acknowledge me as their son, whenever someone asks them how many kids they have, they just say they have three daughters...

    They wont let me come home to visit my sisters, so we just facetime all the time or organise an outing or something where we can spend time together which is tough.

    This whole situation really messed with me mentally/emotionally to the point where peoeple were thinking that I was taking it tough to settle back after the tour. I have to explain to everyone my situation and the fact that the tour itself isn't the issue, it's the **** I had to deal with after coming home which has messed with my head.

    I cannot begin to explain how retarded and absurd their arguements/comments are, to the point where I don't even respond or retalliate to their claims. They're very narrow minded and frankly, retarded. I know they're my parents, I still obviously respect them but what they've put me through is utterly wrong and unnecessary.

    Do you think what my parents are doing is justified? Do I deserve to go through this?
    You went to serve for your country! Instead of calling you a "war criminal" and "murderer" they should be calling you a Hero.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.