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Myth-Busting Mondays: How many marriages end in divorce in the UK? Watch

  • View Poll Results: How many marriages end in divorce in the UK?
    28%
    6
    6.32%
    36%
    16
    16.84%
    42%
    28
    29.47%
    48%
    29
    30.53%
    56%
    16
    16.84%

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    (Original post by Fractite)
    I think that people need to cohabit for a bit longer before they decide to commit and marry - because, you know, marriage is meant to be for life. I do also acknowledge that this is happening more and more as time goes on as both men and women marry at a later age. (37 for men, and about 34 for women).

    But as a Catholic, I'm not supposed to believe in divorce as that's not allowed in the faith. But I think certain laws can be relaxed a bit to support modern life more (people not having children or preventing others from practising their faith are two reasons you can have an "annulment" - but I think it should actually be a real divorce).
    As a Catholic also, I'd certainly there's massive disconnect between modern society and the Catholic Church. Change is definitely necessary.


    However, it is modern society that needs to change to the Church's values, not the CC changing to modern society's.

    The Church has been around for 2,000 years, modern sexual teaching has been around for 50 and I think its consequences have been obvious for all to see:

    1 in 4 people in our society is mentally depressed, around 1 in 2 of our marriages end in divorce, 1 in 4 children grow up without fathers.


    Modern society can keep its 'values'

    SS


    (McManus S, Meltzer H, Brugha T, Bebbington P, Jenkins R (eds) (2009). Adult Psychiatric Morbidity in England 2007:, http://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulati...8#lone-parents)
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    Because marriage is many things. Including, the foundation of a functional society.

    If you want your children to be healthier, wealthier & happier, the best way to do that is to have a father at home. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; ASEP Issue Brief: Information on Poverty and Income Statistics. September 12, 2012, Source: Hofferth, S. L. (2006). Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection. Demography, 43, 53-78.)

    And the best way to have a father at home is for men to be in committed marriages.

    With the breakdown of marriage, comes the breaking of children. If you break your children, you get a messed up society. We are reaping the consequences of our broken society everyday.

    Obviously, there are cases where parents need to separate and live apart when it's an abusive situation but even then I don't think you should get divorced. You made your vows and you should keep them no matter what. Otherwise what's the point of making them?

    SS
    I agree that ideally, you want to keep the vows wherever possible, and personally would want to do as much as possible to make a relationship work if you had children to consider. However, dismissing divorce as 'wrong' full stop is just as harmful; it's no more healthy for a child to be raised in environment where there are constant arguments, or an unstable home life.

    In terms of an abusive situation, why should you be forced to remain married to the partner in that situation? Again, that's not healthy for either person in the partnership, and certainly not for a child. 'A father' doesn't have to be the biological one, and nor does it for the mother; yes, in an ideal world that would be best, but that doesn't mean it's always the most viable in a real world situation. Step-family can be a more stable environment for a child in some situations, for example.

    To answer the original question, however, yes, marriage is important to me, and I think it's still valuable. I personally feel that it's important to uphold the vows as much as possible, and that divorce shouldn't be something you jump straight to when things get tough! However, sometimes differences can't be moved past, or a relationship is making both the people unhappy for prolonged lengths of time. In those situations, I think it should be an option if it came to it, rather than just it being dismissed as being wrong.
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    A vow that you 'uphold as much as possible' isn't a vow. It's a nice thing you say on a wedding day that only means something when the sun is shining.
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    Answering a serious statement with a pic, wtf.
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    (Original post by lucabrasi98)
    So you advocate some couples staying in unhappy, miserable (and sometimes abusive) marriages just for the sake of religion?
    of course
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    (Original post by Maker)
    Answering a serious statement with a pic, wtf.
    you were just being unpleasant.
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    A vow that you 'uphold as much as possible' isn't a vow. It's a nice thing you say on a wedding day that only means something when the sun is shining.
    I glad I am not a self righteous judgemental religious person who demeans other people to show how pure and righteous they are.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    you were just being unpleasant.
    I was being truthful, I thought religious people valued the truth or was that just hypocrisy?
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    (Original post by Maker)
    I glad I am not a self righteous judgemental religious person who demeans other people to show how pure and righteous they are.
    Oh, the irony.


    Do you have any actual content to post or are you just going to sneer at us from your glass house?



    SS
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    (Original post by Maker)
    I was being truthful, I thought religious people valued the truth or was that just hypocrisy?
    the truth is that we must part

    :wavey:
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    (Original post by the bear)
    the truth is that we must part

    :wavey:
    Lightweight. What happened to fight the good fight?
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    Oh, the irony.


    Do you have any actual content to post or are you just going to sneer at us from your glass house?



    SS
    You speak in riddles.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    of course
    What if there is abuse or someone is unfaithful? It's interesting to hear this perspective! :holmes:

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    (Original post by BurstingBubbles)
    What if there is abuse or someone is unfaithful? It's interesting to hear this perspective! :holmes:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Christian values and perspectives are typically very different from those of secular society. Marriage is a sacrament which is undertaken on a permanent basis ..."till death us do part".
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    Obviously, there are cases where parents need to separate and live apart when it's an abusive situation but even then I don't think you should get divorced. You made your vows and you should keep them no matter what. Otherwise what's the point of making them?

    SS
    I swear religious people are crazy.

    "Yes, stay married to someone who is abusing you because of a vow you made before you realised they were an awful partner. What could possibly go wrong?" - strict Christians and Muslims
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    (Original post by Lawliettt)
    I swear religious people are crazy.

    "Yes, stay married to someone who is abusing you because of a vow you made before you realised they were an awful partner. What could possibly go wrong?" - strict Christians and Muslims
    Did you actually read what I wrote?

    (Original post by Supersaps)
    Obviously, there are cases where parents need to separate and live apart when it's an abusive situation but even then I don't think you should get divorced. You made your vows and you should keep them no matter what. Otherwise what's the point of making them?
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    Again, I ask the question...what does a vow mean if it only means 'I'll love you if you do x,y,z and you don't do a,b,c"? That's not a vow, it's a trade agreement.

    If my wife became abusive to either myself or our children, I would leave her to protect them but I wouldn't stop loving her neither would I released from my vows. When I said those words, I meant them.


    If you don't mean them, don't say them, don't get married. It's not for everyone. But let's stop any talk of 'Oh I love you forever' and pretending it's like marriage. It's a business agreement for mutual pleasure that can be terminated when the other party does something wrong.


    SS
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    Again, I ask the question...what does a vow mean if it only means 'I'll love you if you do x,y,z and you don't do a,b,c"? That's not a vow, it's a trade agreement.

    If my wife became abusive to either myself or our children, I would leave her to protect them but I wouldn't stop loving her neither would I released from my vows. When I said those words, I meant them.


    If you don't mean them, don't say them, don't get married. It's not for everyone. But let's stop any talk of 'Oh I love you forever' and pretending it's like marriage. It's a business agreement for mutual pleasure that can be terminated when the other party does something wrong.


    SS
    People and things change.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    People and things change.
    That's a great point and it's one worth considering in-depth.

    Sometimes you'll be sick, sometimes you'll be healthy. Sometimes you'll be rich, sometimes you'll be poor. Sometimes things will be better. Sometimes things will be worse.


    The whole point behind wedding vows says exactly this:

    All these things will change but my love for you will not change.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    As a Christian i subscribe to marriage for life. Just so you know.
    Amen
 
 
 
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