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My girlfriend acts like a child and its so unattractive Watch

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    I think you need to speak to her and first of all ask her if there is a reason she has suddenly started behaving this way. If there isn't and she says she's just messing about or whatever, then I think you need to make it clear to her that not only do you not like it but that it is creeping you out .Tell her straight that you care very much for her, but the old her, not this new persona. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you don't find it in the slightest bit attractive. Do you know if she has had a previous boyfriend who she maybe used to act like this with ,who maybe encouraged it?
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    Life is too short to stay with someone who gets on your nerves. Ditch her and move on.
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    Point her to the website in my signature. She'll find her niche.
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    (Original post by Laurasaur)
    Daddy issues?
    No, she has a stable nuclear family. She does tell me about her very happy childhood though so maybe just trying to re-enact it.

    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Explain to her that you don't like it and are not comfortable with it. If it turns out she has deeper reasons behind it, support her with these. If she just enjoys doing it and continues to do it, then decide if it is a dealbreaker and learn to either put up with it or break up with her. Good luck.
    It kinda hit me actually how she went noticably upset when I said I love my baby sister more than anyone in the word a few months ago, this was after an intense fight though wasnt related to it. And I wasnt thinking about her when I made that comment which in hindsight probably made her upset. My theory is that she wants me to love her like I do my baby sister or something. Maybe some psychology student can weigh in on here?

    What she should understand is that I love my sister and I love my girlfriend who I regularly have sex with in entirely different ways so it's quite creepy

    But yeah if that is the case how am I meant to support her with that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She acts like a five year old, presumably because she thinks its cute and ill like it. But I really dont, it makes me feel like a pedo and a babysitter and its soo uncomfortable. Even worse, shes losing a lot weight and starting to actually look like a kid and honestly I am very unattracted to her now.

    sad thing is, it's not like this is how she is and I have to "accept" her or leave, we've been together a year now and shes started this new persona like 3 months ago and I just dealt with it. So really shes the one thats changed, Im guessing it's because shes more comfortable because we've been together a while.

    She used to be so womanly and have such a powerful presence - which is why I went crazy for her in the first place and pursued her. And even now with other people she's confident and womanly but to me she acts like a five year old.

    she basically puts on a child like voice and like mumbles and says random stuff and goes 'oooh im so sorry im weird teheheheehe' and you should get the picture by now. I just find it so fake and weird and I already have a baby sister I dont need another weird kid in my life right now.

    I just feel like screaming to her 'stop it its not cute' But I have no idea how to communicate that to her without her getting upset offended and self concious.

    please please can somebody help me, this is ruining what was once an amazing relationship. I still love her but shes really pushing me away.
    (Original post by silverbolt)
    have you asked her why she does it? Instead of sitting there and seething?
    This.

    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    I couldn't help burst out laughing :laugh:
    I don't think it's funny. Sounds horrible. I feel bad for him actually. She sounds like a right nightmare, but he needs to just look at her while he;s watching tele and say, ":curious: wtf is up with your voice? It's annoying, stop." End.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, she has a stable nuclear family. She does tell me about her very happy childhood though so maybe just trying to re-enact it.



    It kinda hit me actually how she went noticably upset when I said I love my baby sister more than anyone in the word a few months ago, this was after an intense fight though wasnt related to it. And I wasnt thinking about her when I made that comment which in hindsight probably made her upset. My theory is that she wants me to love her like I do my baby sister or something. Maybe some psychology student can weigh in on here?

    What she should understand is that I love my sister and I love my girlfriend who I regularly have sex with in entirely different ways so it's quite creepy

    But yeah if that is the case how am I meant to support her with that
    It is possible it is that I suppose. Although does your little sister act like a baby? Unless she is very little I suspect not.

    Honestly, you don't need a psychology student you need to have a discussion, ask her why she is doing it and tell her you don't like it.

    If it turns out she just thought it was cute and stops, great.
    If she refuses to stop and has no real reason for doing it, dump her.
    If she is doing it because she wants you to love her more than your baby sister, dump her, she's clearly crazy. You can then help her find support for her clear issues that cause her to see your family members as threats, but I would recommend doing it as a friend, not a boyfriend.
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    If you feel uncomfortable ask her to stop. You probably got on well beforehand if you lasted for a year. Probably ask why she's acting like that and check if everything's okay. It sounds as if something could be wrong or she's worried about your relationship or something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She acts like a five year old, presumably because she thinks its cute and ill like it. But I really dont, it makes me feel like a pedo and a babysitter and its soo uncomfortable. Even worse, shes losing a lot weight and starting to actually look like a kid and honestly I am very unattracted to her now.

    sad thing is, it's not like this is how she is and I have to "accept" her or leave, we've been together a year now and shes started this new persona like 3 months ago and I just dealt with it. So really shes the one thats changed, Im guessing it's because shes more comfortable because we've been together a while.

    She used to be so womanly and have such a powerful presence - which is why I went crazy for her in the first place and pursued her. And even now with other people she's confident and womanly but to me she acts like a five year old.

    she basically puts on a child like voice and like mumbles and says random stuff and goes 'oooh im so sorry im weird teheheheehe' and you should get the picture by now. I just find it so fake and weird and I already have a baby sister I dont need another weird kid in my life right now.

    I just feel like screaming to her 'stop it its not cute' But I have no idea how to communicate that to her without her getting upset offended and self concious.

    please please can somebody help me, this is ruining what was once an amazing relationship. I still love her but shes really pushing me away.
    have you mentioned to her you don't like it just like phone hr up or talk o he in person and tell her and she might stop but yeah lots of girls do it because they think it's cute it is really annoying
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She acts like a five year old, presumably because she thinks its cute and ill like it. But I really dont, it makes me feel like a pedo and a babysitter and its soo uncomfortable. Even worse, shes losing a lot weight and starting to actually look like a kid and honestly I am very unattracted to her now.

    sad thing is, it's not like this is how she is and I have to "accept" her or leave, we've been together a year now and shes started this new persona like 3 months ago and I just dealt with it. So really shes the one thats changed, Im guessing it's because shes more comfortable because we've been together a while.

    She used to be so womanly and have such a powerful presence - which is why I went crazy for her in the first place and pursued her. And even now with other people she's confident and womanly but to me she acts like a five year old.

    she basically puts on a child like voice and like mumbles and says random stuff and goes 'oooh im so sorry im weird teheheheehe' and you should get the picture by now. I just find it so fake and weird and I already have a baby sister I dont need another weird kid in my life right now.

    I just feel like screaming to her 'stop it its not cute' But I have no idea how to communicate that to her without her getting upset offended and self concious.

    please please can somebody help me, this is ruining what was once an amazing relationship. I still love her but shes really pushing me away.
    I think you need to have a serious talk with her about why she has started acting like this. Maybe she feels too comfortable around you? You should explain to her how you first fell for her- you said you loved her womanly presence. This should help her understand how happy you were when you met, and might help her identify why she has changed. She could either be feeling insecure or too comfortable. Also ask her why she only acts like that with you.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by 0to100)
    This.


    I don't think it's funny. Sounds horrible. I feel bad for him actually. She sounds like a right nightmare, but he needs to just look at her while he;s watching tele and say, ":curious: wtf is up with your voice? It's annoying, stop." End.
    It is pretty funny since his gf thinks it's attractive to act like a child like what on earth...
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    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    It is pretty funny since his gf thinks it's attractive to act like a child like what on earth...
    I can hear her shrill whingy voice now. :\
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    Maybe she's finally comfortable with you and your relationship, and this is her way of showing it? Especially as you say that she doesn't act like this around other people. I know that there are certain relationship dynamics where age regression and such are involved...could she be into this?

    On the other hand, she could just be emulating a type of behaviour that she thinks you (or men in general) appreciate.

    Either way, you need to talk to her. Don't just say "it's weird, stop it" because that definitely will hurt her feelings (and make her pull away if she has in fact become comfortable with you). Just bring it up and say that you've noticed she's been acting differently to how she normally acts, and ask why, but not in an accusatory way.

    Communication is key. Handle the situation with care.
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    (Original post by 0to100)
    I can hear her shrill whingy voice now. :\
    :laugh:
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    In her own family is she the youngest? That may make her more prone to acting childishly, or perhaps she may be too coddled or something.

    You have my sympathies bro. And I applaud how mature you seem to be about this and how thoughtful you're being in regards to your girlfriend's feelings.

    Good luck with whatever you do.
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    (Original post by Mrs.Grey)
    It is pretty funny since his gf thinks it's attractive to act like a child like what on earth...
    its not all that uncommon actually, it just puts me off personally.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    its not all that uncommon actually, it just puts me off personally.
    It would put me off the minute it started happening tbh, my sister is 7 and she acts like she's 4, drives me nuts like I cannot even so I understand. And, I never knew it was common lol, kind of disappointing.
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    It is possible it is that I suppose. Although does your little sister act like a baby? Unless she is very little I suspect not.

    Honestly, you don't need a psychology student you need to have a discussion, ask her why she is doing it and tell her you don't like it.

    If it turns out she just thought it was cute and stops, great.
    If she refuses to stop and has no real reason for doing it, dump her.
    If she is doing it because she wants you to love her more than your baby sister, dump her, she's clearly crazy. You can then help her find support for her clear issues that cause her to see your family members as threats, but I would recommend doing it as a friend, not a boyfriend.
    thank you for breaking it down, very appreciated. it has to end otherwise ill definitely lose feelings permanently and thatll be very sad

    (Original post by sunshine774)
    I think you need to have a serious talk with her about why she has started acting like this. Maybe she feels too comfortable around you? You should explain to her how you first fell for her- you said you loved her womanly presence. This should help her understand how happy you were when you met, and might help her identify why she has changed. She could either be feeling insecure or too comfortable. Also ask her why she only acts like that with you.

    Good luck!
    thank you

    (Original post by Squamber)
    Maybe she's finally comfortable with you and your relationship, and this is her way of showing it? Especially as you say that she doesn't act like this around other people. I know that there are certain relationship dynamics where age regression and such are involved...could she be into this?

    On the other hand, she could just be emulating a type of behaviour that she thinks you (or men in general) appreciate.

    Either way, you need to talk to her. Don't just say "it's weird, stop it" because that definitely will hurt her feelings (and make her pull away if she has in fact become comfortable with you). Just bring it up and say that you've noticed she's been acting differently to how she normally acts, and ask why, but not in an accusatory way.

    Communication is key. Handle the situation with care.
    thats the difficult part as well, the last few times I 'communicated' led to a **** storm. Girls love bigging up communication but it is actually pretty difficult its like you're walking on a field of feelings and there's landmines everywhere. This **** is so difficult

    (Original post by flyingpanda)
    In her own family is she the youngest? That may make her more prone to acting childishly, or perhaps she may be too coddled or something.

    You have my sympathies bro. And I applaud how mature you seem to be about this and how thoughtful you're being in regards to your girlfriend's feelings.

    Good luck with whatever you do.
    Thanks, I think I should wait until after exams so she has less stress on her mind before I drop this to her
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, she has a stable nuclear family. She does tell me about her very happy childhood though so maybe just trying to re-enact it.



    It kinda hit me actually how she went noticably upset when I said I love my baby sister more than anyone in the word a few months ago, this was after an intense fight though wasnt related to it. And I wasnt thinking about her when I made that comment which in hindsight probably made her upset. My theory is that she wants me to love her like I do my baby sister or something. Maybe some psychology student can weigh in on here?

    What she should understand is that I love my sister and I love my girlfriend who I regularly have sex with in entirely different ways so it's quite creepy

    But yeah if that is the case how am I meant to support her with that
    Psychological research does often suggest that over the course of evolution we've co-opted our adult pair bonding mechanisms from our care giver- child pair bonding. There's a big neural overlap, and many behavioural similarities between mother-child pair bonding and adult pair bonding, in terms of need to care for one another, close contact and even talking childlike sometimes, such as giving cute nicknames. So in a way there are similarities, but some are worse than others. My older sister and boyfriend tend to talk babyish to eachother sometimes. Her boyfriend is a very serious chemical engineer and I've seen him talk in baby speak.

    I think it might be a lot more common than you think. And whilst some men might not be bothered by it, may even like it, it just doesn't work for you. You should try communication this with her, but if it comes really natural to her, it would be quite hard for her to change. She might end up feeling she can't be herself around you.

    How do you react when she behaves like that?
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    (Original post by Laurasaur)
    Daddy issues?
    Not sure why nobody is addressing this, the only right answer.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    thats the difficult part as well, the last few times I 'communicated' led to a **** storm. Girls love bigging up communication but it is actually pretty difficult its like you're walking on a field of feelings and there's landmines everywhere. This **** is so difficult



    Thanks, I think I should wait until after exams so she has less stress on her mind before I drop this to her
    Ahahahahaha I love that analogy! It's so true. Despite what we say about talking everything out, if you say the wrong thing, or anything we perceive as hurtful, we can get defensive and pretty much blow up.

    I also think it may be best to wait until after the exams.
 
 
 
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