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My sister is a conceited and self-righteous brat. What can I do about it? watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm almost at the edge, I can't take much more of it before losing the plot.

    My sister is horrible, she's bossy, she's manipulative, she gets away with everything and she makes life just hell for me. She knocks on my door and, without waiting for a reply, just walks into my room and starts shouting at me.

    She yells that I was supposed to take my little sister (other sister) to school and that my mum is sick and I'm such a **** for not doing it... but I asked my mum last night and she said she's fine taking her. I've been picking her up all week.

    I honestly can't deal with her insolence, and the worst is my parents claim they're fed up with the rows but they do jack ****. My sister starts all of them, some times in front of my parents, but they just sit there and then blame me.

    She's a spoilt brat... and it's been getting worse since she has been going to this private boarding school.

    What can I do?
    A couple of ideas?
    1. Get a lock on your door (the bolt kind that you do from the inside).
    2. Set up a video camera in your room so you record evidence of her starting arguments with you all the time.
    3. I know it's easier said than done but if she starts an argument in front of your parents, sitting there and saying nothing completely eliminates their ability to try to blame you for it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell her to chill
    Completely ignore her when she is being rude to you
    Only talk to her when she calms down and learns how to respect you
    Don't be a pushover
    If ignore her she just shouts louder. She'll come into my room and throw stuff around or at me. The same would happen if I told her to calm down.

    She's a tea leaf, a liar, she smokes, she's out drinking or on nights out most of the time, she's spoilt silly... I absolutely detest everything about her. She's scum.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    There most likely is,most of the time
    It's worth exploring I suppose, 'most likely' & 'most of the time' is pushing it though.
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    (Original post by Gaya Ramanathan)
    A couple of ideas?
    1. Get a lock on your door (the bolt kind that you do from the inside).
    2. Set up a video camera in your room so you record evidence of her starting arguments with you all the time.
    3. I know it's easier said than done but if she starts an argument in front of your parents, sitting there and saying nothing completely eliminates their ability to try to blame you for it.
    My parents don't want me to get a lock. It's their house and I respect that.

    I could get a camera, that's a decent idea, but would my parents acknowledge it and take action - probably not.

    My sister would carry on shouting regardless, she would shout until she gets a response of some kind. I bet she's up in her room all smug and **** now the little ****. She's got some issues, because no one else in the family is like that to me... my little sister (who is 11) is a sweet heart and never does anything wrong... why can't she be like her... they're complete pole opposites.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If ignore her she just shouts louder. She'll come into my room and throw stuff around or at me. The same would happen if I told her to calm down.

    She's a tea leaf, a liar, she smokes, she's out drinking or on nights out most of the time, she's spoilt silly... I absolutely detest everything about her. She's scum.

    No, trust me, ignorance is bliss. People are really affected by ignorance.
    Ok so she also throws stuff at you and your parents are oblivious to this how?
    Film her on your phone throwing stuff and make a compliation
    Are you older than her?

    Was your relationship with your sister always like this?
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    It's worth exploring I suppose, 'most likely' & 'most of the time' is pushing it though.
    I don't get why I should get involved in her problems... she's 16 now, she needs to grow up and take responsibility. I mean if she continues to be like this at 18, she won't change unless she realises what she is and how she treats everyone.

    I was pretty bad when I was young, but even my dad admits it was nothing in comparison. I used to get pissed and then lock myself in my room for the whole day to just get away.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents don't want me to get a lock. It's their house and I respect that.

    I could get a camera, that's a decent idea, but would my parents acknowledge it and take action - probably not.

    My sister would carry on shouting regardless, she would shout until she gets a response of some kind. I bet she's up in her room all smug and **** now the little ****. She's got some issues, because no one else in the family is like that to me... my little sister (who is 11) is a sweet heart and never does anything wrong... why can't she be like her... they're complete pole opposites.
    Does she go out a lot? I'm thinking she sounds so awful she might be on drugs.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    There most likely is,most of the time
    No there isn't, not for several years, not on this scale.
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    You said she goes to a private boarding school? Is she a day student? Because if not it's not like you have to put up with her much.

    Also a bit of advice, be super nice to her even when she's being horrid. Seriously, when you're nice to someone when their b!itching at you is totally confuses them and they have nothing they can really say in retaliation.
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    (Original post by Gaya Ramanathan)
    Does she go out a lot? I'm thinking she sounds so awful she might be on drugs.
    She smokes weed, and it wouldn't surprise me she takes other stuff like MDMA or other club drugs.

    Honestly, if my parents noticed my lifestyle they'd realise who the instigator is.

    She's been out every night so far this week. She's a tea leaf as well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She smokes weed, and it wouldn't surprise me she takes other stuff like MDMA or other club drugs.

    Honestly, if my parents noticed my lifestyle they'd realise who the instigator is.

    She's been out every night so far this week. She's a tea leaf as well.
    Sorry to sound stupid but what's a tea leaf? Or you could follow her one night and video her? Or film her coming in late at night?
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    (Original post by Devinely)
    You said she goes to a private boarding school? Is she a day student? Because if not it's not like you have to put up with her much.

    Also a bit of advice, be super nice to her even when she's being horrid. Seriously, when you're nice to someone when their b!itching at you is totally confuses them and they have nothing they can really say in retaliation.
    Well I study in a different town and I'll probably be away for 2 months with a summer job... but I don't want to come back here to have to put up with this ****... home is a place for me to relax, but I'm crawling out of my skin most of the time.

    I think she enjoys doing this, I think she gets something from it. She knows I have a short fuse with certain things, so she has fun.

    I don't even know why I bother doing things for her like driving her to Luton and back or defending her... I can't deal with her anymore.
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    (Original post by Gaya Ramanathan)
    Sorry to sound stupid but what's a tea leaf? Ooh you could follow her one night and video her? Or film her coming in late at night?
    Tea leaf = thief; she stole some money from my dad once and lied about it. It was probably for a night out or something.

    I don't want to go out of my way to follow her... she can **** herself up with the drugs and the booze, I don't care.

    She's the primary factor of my anxiety.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't get why I should get involved in her problems... she's 16 now, she needs to grow up and take responsibility. I mean if she continues to be like this at 18, she won't change unless she realises what she is and how she treats everyone.

    I was pretty bad when I was young, but even my dad admits it was nothing in comparison. I used to get pissed and then lock myself in my room for the whole day to just get away.
    I meant it's worth knowing the reasons or motivations behind her actions if she has any. She isn't your responsibility, that being said it might be in your interest to help her to become less of a *****. I assume you'll have to live with her for some time?

    (Original post by Devinely)
    You said she goes to a private boarding school? Is she a day student? Because if not it's not like you have to put up with her much.Also a bit of advice, be super nice to her even when she's being horrid. Seriously, when you're nice to someone when their b!itching at you is totally confuses them and they have nothing they can really say in retaliation.
    It seems spoilt people do not do this, they feel entitled to the treatment that their parents have given them all their life, even if they treat others like sh*t.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tea leaf = thief; she stole some money from my dad once and lied about it. It was probably for a night out or something.

    I don't want to go out of my way to follow her... she can **** herself up with the drugs and the booze, I don't care.

    She's the primary factor of my anxiety.
    Ah I see. How about getting social services involved? I know it's extreme but clearly you shouldn't have to go through this alone, it's not fair when she's parading around stepping on everyone else for her selfish pursuits.
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    I meant it's worth knowing the reasons or motivations behind her actions if she has any. She isn't your responsibility, that being said it might be in your interest to help her to become less of a *****. I assume you'll have to live with her for some time?

    It seems spoilt people do not do this, they feel entitled to the treatment that their parents have given them all their life, even if they treat others like sh*t.


    Why should I even bother being a emotional Sherlock? It should be up to my parents to keep her in check. I don't know how my parents don't notice how she acts and how she treats me.

    I've got another year at University, and then probably another year before I set up my career in the police. So that's at least another 2 years of her *****sh behaviour.

    She won't ever listen to me or what I've got to say, she's that arrogant.
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    Honestly, while it is easier said than done, being calm and rational is the best response. She is acting like a child so you need to act like an adult. If she gets aggravated, you stay calm. If she shouts, you ask why she is shouting, if she throws stuff, ask why she is being violent? She charged into your room without knocking? Point out it is your space and she has no right to invade it, then take the conversation outside of your room - that isn't her space.

    Likewise, if she wants to shout at you about arrangements with your parents, inform her it is none of her business - that is an arrangement between you and your parents.

    It sounds like you do things to help her out, I'm not quite sure why? Next time she asks for help, state you're not willing to help her because she is rude and abusive towards you and you see no reason to be a decent brother to her and help her out if she isn't going to be a decent sister to you and show you some respect.

    I'd also invest in a decent doorstop if your parents don't want you to have a lock. It'll at least give you a few seconds to breath and answer the door before she charges in.

    It all sounds pretty crappy to be honest, but the best thing you can do is try to rise above it. Filming some of it would also be useful. If you can consistently show you've behaved mature and rationally, then this will add weight to your claims. Likewise if she admits to taking drugs or anything on camera, you've got solid evidence to present to your parents.
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    (Original post by Gaya Ramanathan)
    Ah I see. How about getting social services involved? I know it's extreme but clearly you shouldn't have to go through this alone, it's not fair when she's parading around stepping on everyone else for her selfish pursuits.
    I feel that getting social services involved is going to make things worse and make me look like a prick. My parents will probably say that nothing is happening and I'm just making it up or exaggerating. I'm honestly at lost here... I hate being in this house for this one reason.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why should I even bother being a emotional Sherlock? It should be up to my parents to keep her in check. I don't know how my parents don't notice how she acts and how she treats me.

    I've got another year at University, and then probably another year before I set up my career in the police. So that's at least another 2 years of her *****sh behaviour.

    She won't ever listen to me or what I've got to say, she's that arrogant.
    I never said she does have reasons or motivations. I don't know anything.

    Why bother doing anything about it then?

    If you are gunning for a career in the police, you'll have to deal with sh*tlords like this all the time.
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Honestly, while it is easier said than done, being calm and rational is the best response. She is acting like a child so you need to act like an adult. If she gets aggravated, you stay calm. If she shouts, you ask why she is shouting, if she throws stuff, ask why she is being violent? She charged into your room without knocking? Point out it is your space and she has no right to invade it, then take the conversation outside of your room - that isn't her space.

    Likewise, if she wants to shout at you about arrangements with your parents, inform her it is none of her business - that is an arrangement between you and your parents.

    It sounds like you do things to help her out, I'm not quite sure why? Next time she asks for help, state you're not willing to help her because she is rude and abusive towards you and you see no reason to be a decent brother to her and help her out if she isn't going to be a decent sister to you and show you some respect.

    I'd also invest in a decent doorstop if your parents don't want you to have a lock. It'll at least give you a few seconds to breath and answer the door before she charges in.

    It all sounds pretty crappy to be honest, but the best thing you can do is try to rise above it. Filming some of it would also be useful. If you can consistently show you've behaved mature and rationally, then this will add weight to your claims. Likewise if she admits to taking drugs or anything on camera, you've got solid evidence to present to your parents.
    This is the best answer so far.
 
 
 
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