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My boyfriend drinks too much Watch

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    (Original post by ckfeister)
    Don't break up.. ignore these people who are saying... everything I ask on here they say break up.

    Tell him how its affecting you, how you feel about him doing it then say something " I'll help you stop drinking if you want ", be supportive not break up, then try to get him in the right way... it won't break the realtionship it would strengthen.

    If he laughs and ignores, prepare to break up then... give him a few days to think of it though as he might change his mind.

    I spoke to him about it and he said that he understands where I'm coming from and that it's not fair on me. He also said he'll try change but he said at the start of this year that he would cut down on drinking because he hasn't got the energy that he used to have but nothing has seemed to change
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I spoke to him about it and he said that he understands where I'm coming from and that it's not fair on me. He also said he'll try change but he said at the start of this year that he would cut down on drinking because he hasn't got the energy that he used to have but nothing has seemed to change
    Maybe he needs someone to push him to do it, try to set a plan up with him with just you two there... make sure he does, say otherwise its over say you can't stand it anymore not in an argumentative way.
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    (Original post by 0to100)
    First give him a chance to sober up, get and stay clean. If he can't commit then leave. I love my drink as well but you don't need to be with someone who keeps withdrawing/desperately needs to feed their addiction. That normally leads to flying in rages. If he drinks a bit ok one thing, but all the time or "heavily" like piss drunk, and a blathered mess, and won't try to stop, that's bad. But don't give up on him right away, I would normally say. However you're only 16, **** him. This ain't a good start.
    He's ruined himself a bit at such a young age and there's not much either of us can do about it. I feel bad for wanting to just drop the relationship entirely, like a lot of people on here are saying that he's an alcoholic but I clearly know him better than anyone and know that that's not the case
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's ruined himself a bit at such a young age and there's not much either of us can do about it. I feel bad for wanting to just drop the relationship entirely, like a lot of people on here are saying that he's an alcoholic but I clearly know him better than anyone and know that that's not the case
    Then do what you feel
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    #1

    (Original post by ckfeister)
    Maybe he needs someone to push him to do it, try to set a plan up with him with just you two there... make sure he does, say otherwise its over say you can't stand it anymore not in an argumentative way.
    I've only ever drank with him a few times because I'm not allowed out to bars and nightclubs since I'm underage so I can never really tell how much he drinks and acts on daily nights out. I do know, however, that he has a high tolerance to alcohol because he's told me before what he drinks and wow it's so much (He told me this a while ago though)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've only ever drank with him a few times because I'm not allowed out to bars and nightclubs since I'm underage so I can never really tell how much he drinks and acts on daily nights out. I do know, however, that he has a high tolerance to alcohol because he's told me before what he drinks and wow it's so much (He told me this a while ago though)
    I'll try to get him out of alchol and sort him out, if he doesn't then just break up... it'll be hard but it'll be the best option.
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    (Original post by ckfeister)
    I'll try to get him out of alchol and sort him out, if he doesn't then just break up... it'll be hard but it'll be the best option.
    I understand. He promised he would change so if it ends up to be an empty promise I'll finish it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The differences between us are crazy but simultaneously we're very alike. I didn't really care much about the bad boy act initially because it was an instant connection, the sort of one you only experience with best friends and that's why I'm finding it difficult to know what I really want. On one hand, I want the best for myself but on the other I would hate to throw away a perfectly good friend (cos i think it would be awkward to stay friends with an ex lol)
    You want to demote your boyfriend to the friendzone?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I understand. He promised he would change so if it ends up to be an empty promise I'll finish it
    Strong, good luck.
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    Let me get this straight.

    This guy, aged sixteen, drinks up to several nights a week, usually quite heavily and he got expelled and is going down a horrible path in school, and generally in life? And you're wondering what to do with this guy? Break up with him! Think about it, do you really want to spend your life with an alcoholic with no future and no prospects who is already addicted to alcohol aged sixteen? Trust me, you don't. You really don't.

    It's not like relationships go in all kinds of different ways. On a base level, they either work and last indefinitely, or they don't and they end. I know it's difficult to think about it at your age, but the longer you wait, the more serious the problem is going to become. The more addictive and horrible his behavior is going to be, and you don't really want someone like that in your life.

    End it. Trust me. You'll be a lot happier and a lot more better off in life. Best of luck.
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    You want to demote your boyfriend to the friendzone?
    He's already one of my best friends, he just so happens to be my boyfriend too
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    Why are you with him? Hes got no prospects.
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    (Original post by Withengar)
    Let me get this straight.

    This guy, aged sixteen, drinks up to several nights a week, usually quite heavily and he got expelled and is going down a horrible path in school, and generally in life? And you're wondering what to do with this guy? Break up with him! Think about it, do you really want to spend your life with an alcoholic with no future and no prospects who is already addicted to alcohol aged sixteen? Trust me, you don't. You really don't.

    It's not like relationships go in all kinds of different ways. On a base level, they either work and last indefinitely, or they don't and they end. I know it's difficult to think about it at your age, but the longer you wait, the more serious the problem is going to become. The more addictive and horrible his behavior is going to be, and you don't really want someone like that in your life.

    End it. Trust me. You'll be a lot happier and a lot more better off in life. Best of luck.
    It's difficult, I'll not deny it. He said he'll change because he's looking for a job over summer anyway so hopefully he keeps his promise. The only thing that deters me a bit is that his exam results will undoubtedly be quite bad, and I don't say that just to be mean, it's just the truth unfortunately. I feel shallow when I say this but I don't want to be with someone who ends up in a dead end job. He's not applying for uni and is instead going to work to be a mechanic so at least he has some sort of ambitions in life but idk, I go to an academy and the majority of people there tend to be a bit stuck up so I guess they have influenced my way of thinking haha
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    #4

    You can't change him, he hast to want to do it himself. Give him the chance to since hes always treated you well and you do like him but if it doesnt work break up with him because he wont change until he realises what hes doing and he will need a lot of help and unless you're sure you wan to wait it out because it could be several years until he changes, you might want to end it.

    P.S. you can stay friends with Ex's its really not as awkward as you think
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You can't change him, he hast to want to do it himself. Give him the chance to since hes always treated you well and you do like him but if it doesnt work break up with him because he wont change until he realises what hes doing and he will need a lot of help and unless you're sure you wan to wait it out because it could be several years until he changes, you might want to end it.

    P.S. you can stay friends with Ex's its really not as awkward as you think
    I'm just a bit apprehensive because I've never had a serious relationship before (minus the one I'm in now) so I've never dealt with break ups. We've been together for quite a while and I just don't know if I want to throw it all away
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    I agree with the most of the users. I don't think risking your education for a boy is worth it. Its not shallow to care more about your future than a b/f he is engaging in risky behaviors for the fun of it. You should alert his parents and then break up with him. I know its sounds crappy and sounds like a horrible idea but eventually his heavy drinking will catch up to him, and who knows what stage his liver is in. If he has been drinking for years as you said then he'll need to stop drinking quick if he wants to not die young.

    This reminds of a story of a man who started drinking at 13 and died at 21 because he couldn't get a new liver. The mom didn't do anything to get her son help until he needed a new liver, and place the blame of her son's death on the doctor who refused him a liver. If you want to continue to be in a relationship with him, its your choice but its native to think you won't suffer along with him too. If you want to be in a relationship at 16 with a raging alcoholic b/f, be prepared for everything that will come along with it.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The differences between us are crazy but simultaneously we're very alike. I didn't really care much about the bad boy act initially because it was an instant connection, the sort of one you only experience with best friends and that's why I'm finding it difficult to know what I really want. On one hand, I want the best for myself but on the other I would hate to throw away a perfectly good friend (cos i think it would be awkward to stay friends with an ex lol)
    Definitely know what you mean! My relationship with my first serious boyfriend was a lot like this. The only difference if it wasn't just his mental health issues which ended the relationship but we also had very different outlooks on life and intellectual strengths so we argued a lot plus he wasn't always the most respectful of me. It was tough but I think I'm happier that I ended it- I felt very desperately trapped in that relationship because I loved him but I definitely wasn't the happiest, most free version of my self. The truth is a lot of good couples are best friends, I like to believe that it's not impossible to find again. Try to talk to him first and express concern but if he wont change and you start to feel trapped then I promise you will be better off for ending it. I wish I'd broken it off sooner tbh though it is a good sign he seems not to have let his problems affect the way he treated you.
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    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    I agree with the most of the users. I don't think risking your education for a boy is worth it. Its not shallow to care more about your future than a b/f he is engaging in risky behaviors for the fun of it. You should alert his parents and then break up with him. I know its sounds crappy and sounds like a horrible idea but eventually his heavy drinking will catch up to him, and who knows what stage his liver is in. If he has been drinking for years as you said then he'll need to stop drinking quick if he wants to not die young.

    This reminds of a story of a man who started drinking at 13 and died at 21 because he couldn't get a new liver. The mom didn't do anything to get her son help until he needed a new liver, and place the blame of her son's death on the doctor who refused him a liver. If you want to continue to be in a relationship with him, its your choice but its native to think you won't suffer along with him too. If you want to be in a relationship at 16 with a raging alcoholic b/f, be prepared for everything that will come along with it.
    I wouldn't say I let him affect my education. I've always took school very seriously and I promised myself I would never let a boy (or anyone) interfere, so that's nothing to worry about.
    That story that you provided, however, worries me because that's actually the age my boyfriend started drinking
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Definitely know what you mean! My relationship with my first serious boyfriend was a lot like this. The only difference if it wasn't just his mental health issues which ended the relationship but we also had very different outlooks on life and intellectual strengths so we argued a lot plus he wasn't always the most respectful of me. It was tough but I think I'm happier that I ended it- I felt very desperately trapped in that relationship because I loved him but I definitely wasn't the happiest, most free version of my self. The truth is a lot of good couples are best friends, I like to believe that it's not impossible to find again. Try to talk to him first and express concern but if he wont change and you start to feel trapped then I promise you will be better off for ending it. I wish I'd broken it off sooner tbh though it is a good sign he seems not to have let his problems affect the way he treated you.
    Thank you for sharing your story! It's so hard especially when it's my first serious boyfriend but I'll see if he changes like he said he will
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    Your bf is an alcoholic, there is no way around it. But he can stop drinking if he wants to. I know someone who has been sober for 6 years after years of drinking and the doctor telling him his liver was failing.

    There are loads of people under 25 who have serious liver disease and die through excessive drinking. Your bf needs to seek treatment from the Alcoholics Anonymous ASAP.
 
 
 
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