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two potential dads watch

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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    he cant find out, ever.
    Don't tell him then duh.
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    (Original post by The_JoKeR)
    Do it in secret or hide it. In the end you're going to regret not finding out more than you would finding out.
    how would i do it in secret? he lives counties away from me :/
    if i was gonna try and find out, id do it via the other guy and contact him instead
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    That is pretty terrible behavior by your mother.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    how would i do it in secret? he lives counties away from me :/
    if i was gonna try and find out, id do it via the other guy and contact him instead
    If you can find a company that does it with urine samples, make something up like "don't flush the toilet, its broken", though you'll have to go in and scoop it up. Wouldn't recommend it but from my point of view, that's the best option you have at the moment, assuming you're not going to the other country any time soon?
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    (Original post by DorianGrayism)
    That is pretty terrible behavior by your mother.
    yea, and she laughed
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    (Original post by The_JoKeR)
    If you can find a company that does it with urine samples, make something up like "don't flush the toilet, its broken", though you'll have to go in and scoop it up. Wouldn't recommend it but from my point of view, that's the best option you have at the moment, assuming you're not going to the other country any time soon?
    ew thats gross haha! il stick to not knowing lol
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    no she hasnt said anything, just that his american and 'rich' and no i dont think he does
    my current dad has no idea either and im gonna keep it that way, it will be better that way.
    even if he did know, he hasnt been around and i wana keep it that way

    another thing that pissed me off, when i asked my mum, SHE LAUGHED!!!! she thought it was highly amusing!!
    its also become an inside joke with her and her best mate
    Its kept for how many ever years, so it can keep a few more. If your non biological dad doesnt know then think of the impact. It will be very big. He might know or he might not, but id think he would think you are his daughter anyway.

    You should get DNA tested when you can afford it

    Cant say your mum has handled it well, but you cant know the predicament she was in at the time..
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    so today, after 23 years, i find out from my mum her self that i have two potential dads and that the man i love and who has been my dad for this whole time may not even be the real one.
    i know his bought me up that whole time and i do see him as my dad regardless but i feel so strange now, im so confused and angry and upset and i just kinda dont know how i should feel anyway.
    obviously il still always love him and see him as my actual dad but i feel betrayed and lied to.
    what makes it worse is that everyone knew except me and him, even my own brother knew!!!

    is it normal to feel so...all over the place?
    I know it's not the same thing but I was never meant to find out that my mum isn't my biological mum (IVF anonymous egg donor). I was quite upset at when I first found out, mainly because she didn't feel I had a right to know. I would say how you are feeling is perfectly OK and normal but it will pass.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    no, i dont want to know, especially as the other one isnt even in the country. depending on who my dad is, im either
    • half american
    • quarter jamacian


    it sucks! i cant quite pinpoint the biggest of the feelings
    But if you are part black wouldn't it show up a little like your skin tone and hair texture?

    I am so sorry about this, it's normal to feel down about it
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    Mama Mia! :eek:
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Its kept for how many ever years, so it can keep a few more. If your non biological dad doesnt know then think of the impact. It will be very big. He might know or he might not, but id think he would think you are his daughter anyway.

    You should get DNA tested when you can afford it

    Cant say your mum has handled it well, but you cant know the predicament she was in at the time..
    i dont think this other dad knows either and i dont want to disrupt his life so il let it sit.
    she said she was sleeping around with #1 and then got with #2 (the one who has raised me)

    (Original post by Platopus)
    I know it's not the same thing but I was never meant to find out that my mum isn't my biological mum (IVF anonymous egg donor). I was quite upset at when I first found out, mainly because she didn't feel I had a right to know. I would say how you are feeling is perfectly OK and normal but it will pass.
    wow thats ****!
    i hope it does pass soon

    (Original post by loveleest)
    But if you are part black wouldn't it show up a little like your skin tone and hair texture?

    I am so sorry about this, it's normal to feel down about it
    well his not black either, just tanned like i am and i have the same hair type as him but then again, i dont know what this other guy looks like so i cant judge it on this
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    (Original post by Another)
    Slightly off topic, but I wish I never found out what my dad looked like. He's butt ugly, and unfortunately, I resemble him 100%. Now I'm paranoid that I'll pass on the ugly genes to my children, which is a worry I could have lived without.

    Just remember, blood doesn't make family.
    :rofl::rofl3::toofunny:

    But I can relate.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    i dont think this other dad knows either and i dont want to disrupt his life so il let it sit.
    she said she was sleeping around with #1 and then got with #2 (the one who has raised me)



    wow thats ****!
    i hope it does pass soon



    well his not black either, just tanned like i am and i have the same hair type as him but then again, i dont know what this other guy looks like so i cant judge it on this
    But he is half and black genes are usually dominant. I'd say that if you have curly/wavy hair then you probably are part black but if you have straight hair you most likely are not but then again that is just my honest guess.

    I would look up for one of those country DNA tests things that tell you the percentage of your background, it traces back to about 400 ancestors. Good luck to finding out who your real Dad is
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    In that scenario , unless eh knows the dates etc, then there might hve been overlap and it could be either of them. Get a DNA test if you want to chase it up.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    But he is half and black genes are usually dominant. I'd say that if you have curly/wavy hair then you probably are part black but if you have straight hair you most likely are not but then again that is just my honest guess.

    I would look up for one of those country DNA tests things that tell you the percentage of your background, it traces back to about 400 ancestors. Good luck to finding out who your real Dad is
    well he doesnt even look half cast lol just incredibly tanned, but its from my dads dad side that the jamacian jeans are from
    my hair is incredibly curly/wavy now, when i was little i had a fro haha!
    thanks!
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    In that scenario , unless eh knows the dates etc, then there might hve been overlap and it could be either of them. Get a DNA test if you want to chase it up.
    god knows! wish she have kept her legs shut!
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    god knows! wish she have kept her legs shut!
    But then you wouldnt exist.....
    You can sort it out in your head over time. its only natural to be confused and overwhelmed at the moment.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    But then you wouldnt exist.....
    You can sort it out in your head over time. its only natural to be confused and overwhelmed at the moment.
    wish i was a duck!
    life would be easier
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    so today, after 23 years, i find out from my mum her self that i have two potential dads and that the man i love and who has been my dad for this whole time may not even be the real one.
    i know his bought me up that whole time and i do see him as my dad regardless but i feel so strange now, im so confused and angry and upset and i just kinda dont know how i should feel anyway.
    obviously il still always love him and see him as my actual dad but i feel betrayed and lied to.
    what makes it worse is that everyone knew except me and him, even my own brother knew!!!

    is it normal to feel so...all over the place?
    And he never told you?

    That's weird.
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    Maybe you could get a paternity test to verify if the man you've been bought up as your dad is your dad. If he's not then u can just carry on with life and except it or (if you wanted to) get to know you're biological father (if you know who he may be) but that doesnt mean you would have to abandon youre relationship with the man you know as your dad now
 
 
 
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