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Why the hell does no one value friendships or relationships anymore?! watch

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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    How do I get not boring friends then? I'm surrounded by them. It's not the image of my friends r geeky and hermits like being indoors to themselves. They r actually social people but never with me or the rest of the friend group. No matter what activity we all suggest.

    Hmm, maybe they are shut ins (like me) or don't feel comfortable going out. Remember it could also be because of personal reasons, however they do sound really sketchy.
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    This is a long post so I've put it in a spoiler.

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    Let me tell you - you're not alone in this. Medics are the most shallow, self-centred, two-faced, superficial and narcissistic people you will meet at uni. I found that out the hard way after spending 4 years at medical school. I considered myself a fairly popular person even though I don't drink, but regardless I made an effort to go out clubbing with people and I did my best to fit in. There's a huge stereotype that uni is the time for making life-long friends, and I believed it until I got kicked out of medical school for failing an exam. But that's when the people I considered my closest friends at uni (including other Muslims who don't drink) all started ignoring me. They have all heard through the grapevine that I left uni early (cos medics also gossip a lot) and yet none of them made an effort to find out what I am doing. All year they have been ignoring my messages when I try to arrange a quick catch-up. I put up with rude people ignoring my messages while I was studying with them, but now I'm fed up of it. These people are going to be doctors FFS but they can't even work out that one of their peers might need a bit of support or a few kind words after suffering a huge shock like I have. How the **** can you be a doctor when you don't even treat a colleague nicely? I haven't been back to that uni in nearly a year - I just stopped turning up one day and even the people I was in contact with every day didn't even wonder what had happened to me. I could be dead for all they know even though I'm living within walking distance from them. I live in the same apartment block with some other Muslim medics I used to be friends with. I worked with them while we were revising for OSCE's, we worked together on placements and had good fun in a group. Now they just ignore me when I pass them in the street. People who I was friends with and socialised with for 4 years just didn't give a **** about me any more. I can cope with the fact that I got kicked out after 4 years and left with nothing - but all these people in my former social circle pretending that I don't exist is completely unforgivable. Out of hundreds of friends I had at uni, only two medics who I've known since before uni made an effort to stay friends with me and give me some support this year. The handful of other people who were there to help me out are all studying on other courses - Dentistry, Engineering etc. What more evidence does anyone need to understand that medics are only concerned about themselves?

    Trust me when I tell you that you're in a better position than all these other nasty people. You know the value of friendships and I presume you will do your best to return the favour to those who support you. You also have studying to keep you busy, and you should treasure that. I can tell you honestly that I have had the lowest, most depressing experiences this year only because I am not studying. Having something to focus on was all that kept me going, and since last year I have just felt lonely and vulnerable after having to cut out the last few years of my life. So use Medicine as motivation to nurture your friendships and relationships, be kind to others and treat people how you would like to be treated. These are simple social skills but they easily demonstrate how so many medics lack social intelligence - they should be able to work out simple courtesy and manners for themselves. I blame it on personality disorders and inflated egos - medics in this country let success get to their heads, they are always told how they are the top x% in the country for getting onto a competitive course etc. People become arrogant, egotistical and selfish (if they weren't already before). And obviously those personality traits don't go well with making friends.

    You say you've noticed lots of medics posting pictures on FB about going out with other people. I know how frustrating that can be - when you make an effort to organise a catch-up with someone and they fob you off to go out drinking with other medics or whoever. I've seen medical students overdo it on nights out and end up in A&E when they are supposed to be role models to other students. In my uni city, there is **** all to do apart from nightclubs which are all just the same generic ****. You know that medics are party animals and their lives revolve around alcohol. It's especially hard to fit in when you don't drink because medics only make friends with people who drink and get wasted with them on nights out. People who don't are immediately labelled as boring. It's funny how medics have such a one-dimensional view of people when the whole course involves studying how people behave and interact.

    Honestly the fact that you live in London works massively in your favour. Go to events that aren't very popular with medics, make friends with people on other courses and go to lots of social events. Find non-alcohol events at all the major universities if that's what you prefer (medics won't go anywhere where there isn't alcohol, lol). Keep in touch with people you know from school/college and most importantly, make an effort to organise catch-ups with people who are actually going to return the favour and not ignore you like medics will. If you find someone not pulling their weight, consistently backing out at the last minute or ignoring your messages - cut them off and don't talk to them again. Let people come to you. Life is too short to waste your time on selfish people who don't know how to say thank you or value other people's effort. Eventually you will be the one posting lots of pictures with your other friends and getting lots of likes. Having said that, Facebook can be quite depressing to look at when you find yourself rejected by other people, hence why I haven't been using it much at all this year. I would highly recommend cutting back on your Facebook usage and dedicating more time to your hobbies and interests.

    It's at times like this when you find out who your real friends are. People I met outside uni (who I have only known for 1 year or so) and my friends from college (who I barely see very much) have all been better, more supportive friends than people I knew and saw every day for 4 years at uni. That should tell you just how little medics care about important things like maintaining friendships. All you should do now is focus on your studying, make it to the end of medical school in one piece and you can avoid all the heartache I went through. Barely any medics will be able to stay friends with each other after uni because they'll all be moving to different parts of the country anyway. Use that to your advantage and meet more people outside uni (e.g. through part time jobs). Medicine is known for being a closed profession where lots of doctors are only friends with other doctors - if you want to counteract that, now is the time to meet people on other courses and from other backgrounds who will become better friends with you than any medic can. People who lead normal lives and don't solely focus on studying or drinking alcohol will be more receptive to someone who makes an effort to meet people they wouldn't normally socialise with. And in London it's easy to be self-confident with doing new things because it's such an awesome city (my home and I miss it every day). Lots of things are going well for you and you're not in a hopelessly desperate situation like me - you have options, I suggest you experiment with different ways of meeting people and see what the results are. I hope it all goes well for you.

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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    I hope u don't mind me ranting a bit I've been soooo frustrated by this that I've had nightmares where I woke up screaming about all of the "friends" I have. WHY DOES NO ONE VALUE RELATIONSHIPS ANYMORE?! Simple question. And it is sooooo utterly DEPRESSING and makes me weep for the world. Everyone doesn't seem to give a crap about keeping up with other people and just seems to move on with life as if that person never existed. I am a very nice person. I socialise. I enjoy going out etc. But none of my friends or ANY new people I come across ever want to do anything!! I'm not even exaggerating. If I don't suggest a plan I'll never hear from them again. They r very nice people but *****y if u know what I mean. Not in a mean way but just boring as f***. Even when I suggest a plan they all crap out in the end. Then I see all the other people in my feeds with tonnes of other friends (who aren't always my friends) going out eating or days out or even holidays together. Ha!!! It'd be impossible getting my friends to go on holiday together. But everyone else seems to be doing life right. 😭😭😭😭

    Noticeably my closer friends always ignore my texts whenever I'm suggesting to do something! I literally develop high blood pressure. IGNORING TEXTS IS RUDE!! 😡😡
    I treasure friendships a lot. I am never the one to crap out of it. I'm always up for hanging out or chatting etc. I'm always though on the giving end never the receiving end and I'm so tired of it. I still wishing for a group of friends to come along who I can actually be happy with. How sad is that?

    I'm in university for Christ sake. Isn't uni suppose to be time for making life long friends and going out having fun. I'm also in London!!! London!! Of all places there could be fun stuff to do there's no excuse not to. And I'm doing medicine! One of the largest courses and supposed party animals and I feel my year as as dull as soup. I cannot get along with them. What's wrong with them or me? I'm starting to feel like this now because everyone I come across is the same: don't care for close relationships. I can't even find one. Yet some people on my FB gets like 300 likes!!! on a not so special everyday post and I am lucky to get double digits . That in a way indicates how much friends like u and keep up with u. I'm not even doing anything much differently from them but don't get nearly enou likes or acknowledgement.

    Now I have read these kinds of threads before and most likely u will give the same answer of find better friends but it begs the question of how???? Literally everywhere I turn I'm confronted by hollow f***ers who I wish I never met bc they all turn out to be just as boring and worthless building on my picture of the human race as growingly disconnected. It makes me even more depressed. I seriously can't be any nicer to people but I just can't build a connection with anyone.
    I fully agree with you. Luckily kanzev and I aren't like that
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    (Original post by asif007)
    This is a long post so I've put it in a spoiler.
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    Let me tell you - you're not alone in this. Medics are the most shallow, self-centred, two-faced, superficial and narcissistic people you will meet at uni. I found that out the hard way after spending 4 years at medical school. I considered myself a fairly popular person even though I don't drink, but regardless I made an effort to go out clubbing with people and I did my best to fit in. There's a huge stereotype that uni is the time for making life-long friends, and I believed it until I got kicked out of medical school for failing an exam. But that's when the people I considered my closest friends at uni (including other Muslims who don't drink) all started ignoring me. They have all heard through the grapevine that I left uni early (cos medics also gossip a lot) and yet none of them made an effort to find out what I am doing. All year they have been ignoring my messages when I try to arrange a quick catch-up. I put up with rude people ignoring my messages while I was studying with them, but now I'm fed up of it. These people are going to be doctors FFS but they can't even work out that one of their peers might need a bit of support or a few kind words after suffering a huge shock like I have. How the **** can you be a doctor when you don't even treat a colleague nicely? I haven't been back to that uni in nearly a year - I just stopped turning up one day and even the people I was in contact with every day didn't even wonder what had happened to me. I could be dead for all they know even though I'm living within walking distance from them. I live in the same apartment block with some other Muslim medics I used to be friends with. I worked with them while we were revising for OSCE's, we worked together on placements and had good fun in a group. Now they just ignore me when I pass them in the street. People who I was friends with and socialised with for 4 years just didn't give a **** about me any more. I can cope with the fact that I got kicked out after 4 years and left with nothing - but all these people in my former social circle pretending that I don't exist is completely unforgivable. Out of hundreds of friends I had at uni, only two medics who I've known since before uni made an effort to stay friends with me and give me some support this year. The handful of other people who were there to help me out are all studying on other courses - Dentistry, Engineering etc. What more evidence does anyone need to understand that medics are only concerned about themselves?

    Trust me when I tell you that you're in a better position than all these other nasty people. You know the value of friendships and I presume you will do your best to return the favour to those who support you. You also have studying to keep you busy, and you should treasure that. I can tell you honestly that I have had the lowest, most depressing experiences this year only because I am not studying. Having something to focus on was all that kept me going, and since last year I have just felt lonely and vulnerable after having to cut out the last few years of my life. So use Medicine as motivation to nurture your friendships and relationships, be kind to others and treat people how you would like to be treated. These are simple social skills but they easily demonstrate how so many medics lack social intelligence - they should be able to work out simple courtesy and manners for themselves. I blame it on personality disorders and inflated egos - medics in this country let success get to their heads, they are always told how they are the top x% in the country for getting onto a competitive course etc. People become arrogant, egotistical and selfish (if they weren't already before). And obviously those personality traits don't go well with making friends.

    You say you've noticed lots of medics posting pictures on FB about going out with other people. I know how frustrating that can be - when you make an effort to organise a catch-up with someone and they fob you off to go out drinking with other medics or whoever. I've seen medical students overdo it on nights out and end up in A&E when they are supposed to be role models to other students. In my uni city, there is **** all to do apart from nightclubs which are all just the same generic ****. You know that medics are party animals and their lives revolve around alcohol. It's especially hard to fit in when you don't drink because medics only make friends with people who drink and get wasted with them on nights out. People who don't are immediately labelled as boring. It's funny how medics have such a one-dimensional view of people when the whole course involves studying how people behave and interact.

    Honestly the fact that you live in London works massively in your favour. Go to events that aren't very popular with medics, make friends with people on other courses and go to lots of social events. Find non-alcohol events at all the major universities if that's what you prefer (medics won't go anywhere where there isn't alcohol, lol). Keep in touch with people you know from school/college and most importantly, make an effort to organise catch-ups with people who are actually going to return the favour and not ignore you like medics will. If you find someone not pulling their weight, consistently backing out at the last minute or ignoring your messages - cut them off and don't talk to them again. Let people come to you. Life is too short to waste your time on selfish people who don't know how to say thank you or value other people's effort. Eventually you will be the one posting lots of pictures with your other friends and getting lots of likes. Having said that, Facebook can be quite depressing to look at when you find yourself rejected by other people, hence why I haven't been using it much at all this year. I would highly recommend cutting back on your Facebook usage and dedicating more time to your hobbies and interests.

    It's at times like this when you find out who your real friends are. People I met outside uni (who I have only known for 1 year or so) and my friends from college (who I barely see very much) have all been better, more supportive friends than people I knew and saw every day for 4 years at uni. That should tell you just how little medics care about important things like maintaining friendships. All you should do now is focus on your studying, make it to the end of medical school in one piece and you can avoid all the heartache I went through. Barely any medics will be able to stay friends with each other after uni because they'll all be moving to different parts of the country anyway. Use that to your advantage and meet more people outside uni (e.g. through part time jobs). Medicine is known for being a closed profession where lots of doctors are only friends with other doctors - if you want to counteract that, now is the time to meet people on other courses and from other backgrounds who will become better friends with you than any medic can. People who lead normal lives and don't solely focus on studying or drinking alcohol will be more receptive to someone who makes an effort to meet people they wouldn't normally socialise with. And in London it's easy to be self-confident with doing new things because it's such an awesome city (my home and I miss it every day). Lots of things are going well for you and you're not in a hopelessly desperate situation like me - you have options, I suggest you experiment with different ways of meeting people and see what the results are. I hope it all goes well for you.

    Firstly wow thank u so much for such a relatable and supportive response. And I'm sorry about your situation. I really do hope things get better with u. And yes!! Everything u say is my situation as well. Medics have inflated egos and think they're gods and only think u r worthy of their attention if u r one them and drink. F*** them all. The medics in my uni r playing the apprentice or thrown into a lions cage, every man for themselves to reach the top and become the best doctor which apparently in modern times just means whose smartest. I hate them all with a passion. But it's not just medics I'm also not too enthusiastic about all of the past friends I've made from secondary school or college basically all of my friends and people I come across suck. So I'm doing things right. I'm the genuinely kind and treasuring person yet no one want to be my real friend. I'm surrounded by medics all the time and don't have time to meet many other people. I don't know people from other courses nor do I have a means to properly meet em and build a solid relationship. Struggling to find time in all the studying.
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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    Maybe they don't like you?
    Have genuinely wondered about that and if its true then it will be one of the greatest mysteries of my life. I'm not horrible. I know I'm the one saying it but I'm seriously friendly to everyone I meet, suggest to do things and take an interest in other people's lives. The only thing is everyone only bonds by drinking, having sex and gross stuff which I completely object to cos it's stupid. I couldn't be nicer to people so if they don't like me people must just want to be friends with *****es. Lord help them.
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    The problem is that these days, far too many people associate socialising with just heavy drinking. Even those who go on holiday together often spend the whole time just binge drinking.

    Imo, any 'socialising' you do while drunk shouldn't count, because you're not acting like yourself, and you probably won't even remember anything you talked about by the next day. So I hate that the only thing that so many people do to 'socialise' is to go out drinking. It's really just pathetic, and it's a problem with people in every field of work, not just medicine. It's just a problem with most of modern society.

    Hopefully you can find some people who actually know what real socialising is eventually, and become friends with them. It'd be hard to find people like that these days though /:
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    I think the right people will come into your life at the right time. Just like with any other relationship. I know it must feel horrible, but those "friends" of yours sound very shallow and self obsessed. I think in a way you should count your blessings they don't initiate the activities with you. They probably sense you have more depth than them, and apart from all studying for the same career, probably have very little in common with them as far as morals and values are concerned. You come across as being a decent,caring person. Is there no way you could get to meet students on different courses? Perhaps starting off getting to know and befriend people on something like The Student Room? The best of luck to you.
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    its life,we have to accept and move on... if they don't value ur friendship well it isn't a true friendship... you will have better friends who acc care and look out for u in the future, there are some people like that...
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    Have genuinely wondered about that and if its true then it will be one of the greatest mysteries of my life. I'm not horrible. I know I'm the one saying it but I'm seriously friendly to everyone I meet, suggest to do things and take an interest in other people's lives. The only thing is everyone only bonds by drinking, having sex and gross stuff which I completely object to cos it's stupid. I couldn't be nicer to people so if they don't like me people must just want to be friends with *****es. Lord help them.
    If you think having sex is gross then I imagine you're quite prudish, perhaps a buzzkill.
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    I hope u don't mind me ranting a bit I've been soooo frustrated by this that I've had nightmares where I woke up screaming about all of the "friends" I have. WHY DOES NO ONE VALUE RELATIONSHIPS ANYMORE?! Simple question. And it is sooooo utterly DEPRESSING and makes me weep for the world. Everyone doesn't seem to give a crap about keeping up with other people and just seems to move on with life as if that person never existed. I am a very nice person. I socialise. I enjoy going out etc. But none of my friends or ANY new people I come across ever want to do anything!! I'm not even exaggerating. If I don't suggest a plan I'll never hear from them again. They r very nice people but *****y if u know what I mean. Not in a mean way but just boring as f***. Even when I suggest a plan they all crap out in the end. Then I see all the other people in my feeds with tonnes of other friends (who aren't always my friends) going out eating or days out or even holidays together. Ha!!! It'd be impossible getting my friends to go on holiday together. But everyone else seems to be doing life right. 😭😭😭😭

    Noticeably my closer friends always ignore my texts whenever I'm suggesting to do something! I literally develop high blood pressure. IGNORING TEXTS IS RUDE!! 😡😡
    I treasure friendships a lot. I am never the one to crap out of it. I'm always up for hanging out or chatting etc. I'm always though on the giving end never the receiving end and I'm so tired of it. I still wishing for a group of friends to come along who I can actually be happy with. How sad is that?

    I'm in university for Christ sake. Isn't uni suppose to be time for making life long friends and going out having fun. I'm also in London!!! London!! Of all places there could be fun stuff to do there's no excuse not to. And I'm doing medicine! One of the largest courses and supposed party animals and I feel my year as as dull as soup. I cannot get along with them. What's wrong with them or me? I'm starting to feel like this now because everyone I come across is the same: don't care for close relationships. I can't even find one. Yet some people on my FB gets like 300 likes!!! on a not so special everyday post and I am lucky to get double digits . That in a way indicates how much friends like u and keep up with u. I'm not even doing anything much differently from them but don't get nearly enou likes or acknowledgement.

    Now I have read these kinds of threads before and most likely u will give the same answer of find better friends but it begs the question of how???? Literally everywhere I turn I'm confronted by hollow f***ers who I wish I never met bc they all turn out to be just as boring and worthless building on my picture of the human race as growingly disconnected. It makes me even more depressed. I seriously can't be any nicer to people but I just can't build a connection with anyone.
    everyone is selfish and shallow. What's new? If you didn't know,the only person who actually cares about you is you.
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    Firstly wow thank u so much for such a relatable and supportive response. And I'm sorry about your situation. I really do hope things get better with u. And yes!! Everything u say is my situation as well. Medics have inflated egos and think they're gods and only think u r worthy of their attention if u r one them and drink. F*** them all. The medics in my uni r playing the apprentice or thrown into a lions cage, every man for themselves to reach the top and become the best doctor which apparently in modern times just means whose smartest. I hate them all with a passion. But it's not just medics I'm also not too enthusiastic about all of the past friends I've made from secondary school or college basically all of my friends and people I come across suck. So I'm doing things right. I'm the genuinely kind and treasuring person yet no one want to be my real friend. I'm surrounded by medics all the time and don't have time to meet many other people. I don't know people from other courses nor do I have a means to properly meet em and build a solid relationship. Struggling to find time in all the studying.
    Another long post so I've put it in a spoiler haha

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    Trust me dude, I've been through all the same experiences as you. I'm actually glad I don't have to go back there and I hope I never see any of those two-faced medics again. Karma is a ***** - these people will get what they deserve and one day they will ask themselves why they didn't treat you better. People want to be there when you're successful but they won't support you through your failures, and I would expect student doctors to be the last people to behave so cruelly and indifferently especially to one of their peers. But all you can do is turn the other cheek, keep up your own hobbies/interests and study hard. As harsh as it sounds, you're not at uni to make friends - you're there to get a degree and become a doctor. Who cares if you leave without any friends, you'll be a doctor which is a massive accomplishment for anyone.

    Dude, if I'm being honest I think it's perfectly achievable to meet other people and get all your studying done. If all the other medics can make time to go out drinking every day of the week, there's no reason why you can't spend that time going to other events away from them. You live in London FFS, the best city in the UK with no shortage of things to do or people to meet. I wish I lived there where all my family and friends are. It's a lot harder to get away from medics in cities where there is **** all to do apart from alcohol and clubbing. But in London you have so many different universities, student unions, clubs, social events and entertainment open to everyone. It's hard not to meet new people! I'm sure there are non-alcohol events happening everywhere. Honestly, so many different things to do - all you need to do is work out what you like and go find where it's happening. Try going to events with uni's that don't have any medics. Go to socials which won't be very popular with medics. Play sports, go travelling, organise your own socials. Go to places on your own if you have to - you always have to start somewhere and you'll get more involved in things as you meet more people.

    Honestly, there's no point wasting your effort on medics who don't appreciate your friendship. It sounds like you want to keep your professional and personal lives separate, which is fine - by all means you can work with medics during the day, meet friends outside uni in the evenings and never have to see medics in your personal time. Transport is so easy and reliable in London. But I don't believe for a second that you haven't got any friends at all. There will be people who test your patience and are so frustratingly rude and inconsiderate, but the majority of people doing other courses will be open to making new friends. Just start with whatever you enjoy - make time for your hobbies as Medicine is very stressful and you need something else to focus on. Don't just spend all your time studying - you'll burn out and end up depressed, which just isn't permissible in a fantastic city like London where there is so much to do and so many support routes available. I think maybe you're feeling stressed with exams and studying which is manifesting as anger towards others. I would really recommend you going out and finding more opportunities beyond just your own university - you'll feel refreshed and it will build up your confidence again. Especially now the summer weather is here and you're probably coming to the end of exams - now is the perfect time to investigate what London has to offer. It will take some effort and you probably won't see results immediately, but if you're really determined to stay away from medics then there are plenty of things for you to do. You know yourself best - ask around, look out for flyers and Google events you would be interested in.

    Put it this way - compare yourself to someone like me. I don't just hate all the other medics for ignoring me in my time of need - I hate my uni city (and I still live here), I hate the medical tutors who ridiculed and made fun of me after I failed my exam, and I hate that there's nothing else for me to focus on because I've struggled all year to find a job in a city where no one is hiring. I've had no one to talk to and I was so angry I was punching holes in my walls. I wanted to butcher all those people to death with an axe for how they treated me. And honestly I wouldn't wish anyone to sink as low as I did. You have studying to keep you busy and that's more beneficial for your health than you realise. You don't need those medics to be your friends, because they're only concerned about themselves and I suppose that's a reflection of how dedicated they are to being successful in Medicine - at the expense of other people. You need to look after yourself, take care of your own health and work hard to finish medical school so you can graduate and leave these people behind. I'm actually glad I'm not graduating here any more, as I won't have to see those two-faced people every day or at my graduation. You can't help the fact that you have to work with medics on your placements, but don't let them get on your nerves or you'll let them win. Do your best to put on a brave face and let people come to you. If you see someone is struggling, help them out cos at least then you've done your part. People take each other for granted and don't return the favour - that is especially true of medics. Let them enjoy their alcohol cos eventually they'll drink too much and end up in hospital - serves them right. The onus is on you to keep in touch with your friends outside uni and maintain better friendships with them than you would with medics. Like I said, people are happy to make new friends - you just need to have patience and eventually everything will work out. It's impossible not to have a good time with friends in London.

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    (Original post by Jebedee)
    If you think having sex is gross then I imagine you're quite prudish, perhaps a buzzkill.
    No ofc I don't! What I meant was people now only seem to "bond" doing tonnes of reckless and over the top stuff. No one gets to properly know people anymore, they're just interested in who can get pissed with them, shag as many people as possible and whatever thing they probably won't remember in the morning.
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    No ofc I don't! What I meant was people now only seem to "bond" doing tonnes of reckless and over the top stuff. No one gets to properly know people anymore, they're just interested in who can get pissed with them, shag as many people as possible and whatever thing they probably won't remember in the morning.
    Maybe try hanging out with different people then.
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    I understand man, no one cares about talking to you. When my brother is home from collage, my parents forget I exist, I start talking to them and they ignore me and look at my brother instead. I try and talk to friends and they would only do so for about 30 minutes of snap chatting and then I send them stuff but they don't respond. I understand that they probably look at it and laugh but when I see that someone opened my snap and they don't respond, it just gives me a bad feeling that makes me want to be locked up inside my room for eternity that no one else can enter. It doesn't make it easy that I get social anxiety from talking to girls and have depression and a.d.d. This type of **** makes me suicidal and the worst part is that if you died, people would forget about it and you would be forgotten and ignored just like you have been. I just want to be a hermit and stay in bed all day because I don't have a true friend I can talk to about problems so I just post it on the Internet hoping for solace.
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    Is it telling that I read your nickname as "Jizzyflower"?

    Anyway, I sort of agree especially when it comes to romantic relationships. It's not "cool" to want a girlfriend anymore - at least if you're a guy (dunno about girls). You should have a fwb and then **** as many girls as you can. That's esteemed and "admired". Wanting a monogamous relationship with a girl you have a connection with is considered "lame".
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    How do I get not boring friends then? I'm surrounded by them. It's not the image of my friends r geeky and hermits like being indoors to themselves. They r actually social people but never with me or the rest of the friend group. No matter what activity we all suggest.
    What's wrong with being a hermit?
    #Hermit4Life
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    Because your's is a generation overloaded with information. You are forced to care on a second-by-second basis for all of the world's ills, and you internalise all of it, as they tell you to. They throw pictures of dead five year old refugee children in your face and tell you, because of this, you're not permitted to have a country. Your country is the world's country. You have no refuge.

    Every appeal ever made to you has been an emotional one, and you find it debilitating and exhausting to the point you just have to switch off. Your politicians and leaders don't want to talk to you about principles, or values, they merely want to exploit you, and your identity, as a proxy for class warfare and to pit you off against other groups in society. The whole world views you as a means, not an end. They want incessant change, not unity - you find it utterly exhausting.

    Because you have been reared on guilt, manipulation and shame for the entirety of your life, to the point you expect nothing less from your interactions with humanity; you have never known anything else.

    You are taught by your liberal arts professor that altruism, not self-interest, is the state of nature and that nurture, not nature, is the order of the day; you supress every biological instinct to fit in with your repressed, socially optimised and utterly disingenuous peers.

    For the few hours of interaction you have with real life, or the very limited experience you have interacting with the economy or taking genuine personal responsibility, or being in a position where only you can sort a seemingly impossible problem, you come to realise, in this short amount of time, that your liberal arts professor is a professor for a reason.

    Deep down you know it's all meaningless; that you don't have a personality, merely mood swings; that love isn't tangible or real but merely mutually compatible self-interest. Deep down you are beginning to realise that there is no possibility of happiness but merely contentment; that the world will change faster tomorrow than it did yesterday, and will continue to do so until the end of your existence.

    You yearn for something bigger than yourself, but that age is over - the state is our moral arbiter, not religion, and the individual is God. Morality has been privatised, and belongs to the people; and the state will tell you who you are, how you should feel and when you should feel it.

    You have grown-up in the age of the internet. You live in an age where, just 20 years ago, if you wanted to make a phone call in public, it would be customary to try and hunt down a phone booth; just 20 years later and you can now contact anyone, at anytime, anywhere. You are switched on, you are plugged in, and you have no means to pull the wire. If you do, you feel like you may reset.

    You have the world's information at your fingertips, everything the world has ever said, thought or done; everything you do, as a result, is under a perennial microscope: every decision you make, every action you take, every thought you think. The slightest possibility that they may be conceived of as offensive is enough to make some 16 year old girls hang themselves.

    All it serves to do is emphasise how utterly meaningless you life is when compared relative to a burgeoning global population which has never been closer yet never further away.

    That, or you're too needy.
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    (Original post by JazzyFlower)
    I hope u don't mind me ranting a bit I've been soooo frustrated by this that I've had nightmares where I woke up screaming about all of the "friends" I have. WHY DOES NO ONE VALUE RELATIONSHIPS ANYMORE?! Simple question. And it is sooooo utterly DEPRESSING and makes me weep for the world. Everyone doesn't seem to give a crap about keeping up with other people and just seems to move on with life as if that person never existed. I am a very nice person. I socialise. I enjoy going out etc. But none of my friends or ANY new people I come across ever want to do anything!! I'm not even exaggerating. If I don't suggest a plan I'll never hear from them again. They r very nice people but *****y if u know what I mean. Not in a mean way but just boring as f***. Even when I suggest a plan they all crap out in the end. Then I see all the other people in my feeds with tonnes of other friends (who aren't always my friends) going out eating or days out or even holidays together. Ha!!! It'd be impossible getting my friends to go on holiday together. But everyone else seems to be doing life right. 😭😭😭😭

    Noticeably my closer friends always ignore my texts whenever I'm suggesting to do something! I literally develop high blood pressure. IGNORING TEXTS IS RUDE!! 😡😡
    I treasure friendships a lot. I am never the one to crap out of it. I'm always up for hanging out or chatting etc. I'm always though on the giving end never the receiving end and I'm so tired of it. I still wishing for a group of friends to come along who I can actually be happy with. How sad is that?

    I'm in university for Christ sake. Isn't uni suppose to be time for making life long friends and going out having fun. I'm also in London!!! London!! Of all places there could be fun stuff to do there's no excuse not to. And I'm doing medicine! One of the largest courses and supposed party animals and I feel my year as as dull as soup. I cannot get along with them. What's wrong with them or me? I'm starting to feel like this now because everyone I come across is the same: don't care for close relationships. I can't even find one. Yet some people on my FB gets like 300 likes!!! on a not so special everyday post and I am lucky to get double digits . That in a way indicates how much friends like u and keep up with u. I'm not even doing anything much differently from them but don't get nearly enou likes or acknowledgement.

    Now I have read these kinds of threads before and most likely u will give the same answer of find better friends but it begs the question of how???? Literally everywhere I turn I'm confronted by hollow f***ers who I wish I never met bc they all turn out to be just as boring and worthless building on my picture of the human race as growingly disconnected. It makes me even more depressed. I seriously can't be any nicer to people but I just can't build a connection with anyone.
    These days a lot of people have become fake
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    (Original post by Slaughter King)
    I understand man, no one cares about talking to you. When my brother is home from collage, my parents forget I exist, I start talking to them and they ignore me and look at my brother instead. I try and talk to friends and they would only do so for about 30 minutes of snap chatting and then I send them stuff but they don't respond. I understand that they probably look at it and laugh but when I see that someone opened my snap and they don't respond, it just gives me a bad feeling that makes me want to be locked up inside my room for eternity that no one else can enter. It doesn't make it easy that I get social anxiety from talking to girls and have depression and a.d.d. This type of **** makes me suicidal and the worst part is that if you died, people would forget about it and you would be forgotten and ignored just like you have been. I just want to be a hermit and stay in bed all day because I don't have a true friend I can talk to about problems so I just post it on the Internet hoping for solace.
    SAME
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    It only gets worse when you leave uni, better get useto it.
 
 
 
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