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Is being a 'good guy' a bad thing? Watch

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    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    Plus there's the fact that most girls just don't get wet for nice blokes. I expect this to be an unpopular assessment, but it's largely true.
    Girls like guys get wet over what they fancy and like sexually. A girl can have a great personality and be a lovely person, but I am not going to like her if she doesn't make me hard. Though the making me hard thing is like 10% of what matters. The other 90% is way more important. My guess is that it is the same for girls too. We know men and women both want sex really bad and it matters, but other things matter more.
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    There is being nice and then there is coming across as desperate. We would need to know more about your attempts to get a girl before we can really pass judgement. You basically have three types of girls those who just want a bang, those who want to be your friend and those who want a relationship. My guess is there have been girls who wanted a relationship with you, but you didn't want them and didn't make a move. Really there is no such thing as a "nice" guy, as we all hurt or upset girls who like us by not liking them back or understanding how they feel.
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    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    Some absolutely shocking advice in here.

    Focus on yourself, mate. Pursue your goals with diligence and vigour. Take care of your body by eating well, going to the gym. Focus on making money and getting to where you're hopefully headed. Don't get too caught up about what others think of you, particularly women.

    You might find that womens' attitudes towards you change once you improve your general aura.

    Also, treat women with respect, but don't be a complete lapdog.
    Thing is I'm 100% sure that the OP want to attract a particular girl RIGHT NOW.

    The advice you given is what he needs to do but wont do due to time

    Going to the gym and focusing money are long term goals to getting girls.

    OP wants instant confidence booster

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by nerdling_CompSci)
    Thing is I'm 100% sure that the OP want to attract a particular girl RIGHT NOW.

    The advice you given is what he needs to do but wont do due to time

    Going to the gym and focusing money are long term goals to getting girls.

    OP wants instant confidence booster

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Such is the sense of entitlement within our society. People feel like the world owes them a certain look, career, or in this case, a girlfriend.

    I'm jumping the gun, but I would surmise that the OP needs to work on himself a little before going to try and find someone. So, so, SO many people I know have wilfully hopped into relationships when they have very little to no self-value to begin with. Subsequently, when one relationship ends, they jump into another one because they can't bear the thought of not having that emotional tampon.
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    (Original post by Clockrice)
    Girls like guys get wet over what they fancy and like sexually. A girl can have a great personality and be a lovely person, but I am not going to like her if she doesn't make me hard. Though the making me hard thing is like 10% of what matters. The other 90% is way more important. My guess is that it is the same for girls too. We know men and women both want sex really bad and it matters, but other things matter more.
    Yeah but little girls and little boys have quite a different criteria when it comes to what turns them on.

    For us simple blokes, youth and beauty (looks) are the main two. For women it's more broad, but if you can take the lead/ initiative, that's half the battle. Having an edge helps, as does having money, of course.

    The above is vague, but goes some way to explaining why you see many ugly and or old blokes with hot girls, but rarely the other way around.
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    No; but if that's your defining attribute, then it's probably just a polite euphemism for 'suggestible', 'ineffectual' or 'sycophant'—whereas if your seeming benevolence were legitimately altruistic, e.g. the product of introspection and ethos as opposed to a faintly disingenuous and altogether distasteful means of ingratiating yourself to women you ultimately hope will feel obligated to have sex with you, then the question posed in the OP is not one you would sully your integrity by asking.
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    (Original post by Clockrice)
    You basically have three types of girls those who just want a bang, those who want to be your friend and those who want a relationship. My guess is there have been girls who wanted a relationship with you, but you didn't want them and didn't make a move. Really there is no such thing as a "nice" guy, as we all hurt or upset girls who like us by not liking them back or understanding how they feel.
    They are all the same girl. Which version of said girl you get to meet depends wholly on your demeanour. If you're passive and nervous, there's a very good chance you'll end up in that coveted (naat) friendzone.
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    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    Some absolutely shocking advice in here.

    Focus on yourself, mate. Pursue your goals with diligence and vigour. Take care of your body by eating well, going to the gym. Focus on making money and getting to where you're hopefully headed. Don't get too caught up about what others think of you, particularly women.

    You might find that womens' attitudes towards you change once you improve your general aura.

    Also, treat women with respect, but don't be a complete lapdog.
    I like this response!
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    (Original post by raepatricks)
    I feel like the idea of being a "good guy" is just an excuse for guys who get rejected by girls to make themselves feel better about the situation. You cannot expect girls to like you just because you are a so called good guy.
    Incorrect.

    There are good guys, but these are often misconstrued with these so called "nice guys" that believe being nice to a woman is all you need to do to win them over, that their "niceness" entitles them to a woman's affection. These "nice guys" aren't nice; they are desperate, they are manipulative, they are fake and they are spineless.

    A good man is kind, caring, but respects others and respects himself. He is genuine, hard-working, displays dignity and value, and perhaps above all else he is honest.

    Unfortunately, it does appear as though genuinely good men get mixed up with the lesser desirable "nice guys" because some of the attributes/behaviors are shared.

    (Original post by Clockrice)
    Nice guys get best girls though, in the end. All depends if you prefer quality over quantity.
    Do they?

    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    Some absolutely shocking advice in here.

    Focus on yourself, mate. Pursue your goals with diligence and vigour. Take care of your body by eating well, going to the gym. Focus on making money and getting to where you're hopefully headed. Don't get too caught up about what others think of you, particularly women.

    You might find that womens' attitudes towards you change once you improve your general aura.

    Also, treat women with respect, but don't be a complete lapdog.
    Ya'know, this is perfectly good advice and I strongly recommend the OP follows this, but...

    ...does he really want to settle for women who FINALLY find him attractive because his physique has improved and he's got a solid career/financial situation? I know I wouldn't. For me, personally, if I start attracting women the moment my professional life gets off to a good start (which it will), then I will not ever be interested in dating ever again.

    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    Depends whether you're actually a good guy or one of those dudes who labels themselves "good guys" but just rude and put on an act of goodness to fool good girls looking for good guys. Bad boys are good for short term and when you want to have fun and feel adventurous. Good guys are great for marriage, and long term relationships.
    So basically, in your eyes good men are not fun and adventurous and what women should settle for later in life when the bad boys no longer want them?
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    If you mean by a good guy someone who treats people with respect, then no, it's not a bad thing.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Do they?
    Well I did. Lol.
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    No! Even if more girls became interested in you, you could really hurt someone's feelings. Is having more girls attracted to you really worth hurting people?
    • #5
    #5

    I have found two things.

    Being a 'nice guy' has never lead to anything more than having friends that are girls. That for me is not the most desired eventuality. I have found although that being friends with a girl opens up many more options in the sense that I can meet other girls. Being a 'nice guy' has sometimes given me girlfriends of substance, which I suppose is good. My main problem is that being a 'nice guy' is too time consuming and energy draining.

    Being a 'Bad guy' is much more fun. Have had countless flings at house parties with girls who I ironically met through girls that I was 'nice' to. Being a bad guy feels more rewarding in my opinion and as a result is my preferred style. Its not being bad to them, its having a generally laid back attitude. When there is a timid good guy, I am the one who swoops in and takes the girl simply because of sheer confidence.

    Moral of the story, decide which one is best for you and if you are like me in any way, learn how to do both. get best of both worlds.
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    You must have heard the saying "nice guys finish last"? Motivational words, my friend. Stop wasting time trying to "get to know" girls and trying to be friends with them because they'll just sideline you. The friendzone is not a place you want to end up in. Go to the gym, make some gains, get some self-confidence and have a bit of attitude - make sure b******* know that you're a fun guy and you know how to have a laugh, especially at their expense. Make fun of them, put them down, give them underhanded compliments etc. As harsh as it sounds, girls are shallow about these things - all they want is someone with a built body and someone who can keep their attention by giving them a "challenge". By all means be horrible to her but do it in moderation. If you're just after p***y, no use hiding it - go out and chase it. Be honest about your intentions and don't be afraid of p*****g a b**** off cos they just make a big deal out of anything. Girls want a guy who is an alpha - make sure you assert your status and eventually the girls will come to you.
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    Being a nice guy is different to being a "nice guy". Chances are if you have to constantly legitimate your niceness by constantly saying you're a nice guy, you're not that nice a guy. Being nice is one thing. Being a pussyfooter who puts women on a pedestal instead of treating them like people is a totally different type of person.

    Forget about what personality gets you girls, be yourself so when you get a girl you'll have one that appreciates you for who you actually are. If that hasn't worked so far then you need to work on your outlook towards life in general, not what's gonna get you laid.
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    Nope.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never had a girlfriend before and I'm 22 years old. All through secondary school and university though I have made efforts to speak to girls, get to know them but always unable to secure a date with them.

    I have some close female friends and I asked them for some dating advice from a girl's perspective and they said that when I'm getting to know girls (relationship wise) I shouldn't be 'too nice'. So many times during university have I been labelled a nice guy by girls that I want to date. Why exactly is this a bad thing?

    Should I start being an A-hole and laugh at girls in their faces or start calling them the B word or insult their parents? What is wrong with being too nice?
    You cant just go off what these stupid girls are telling you... be yourself that's the main thing gheez surprises me how in this generation people have misconceptions about thing such as your question Think about it some girls don't like A-holes where as some girls do. it all depends on the person. Don't be a fool and listen to some stupid replies
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    It's not a bad thing strictly speaking, you just have to realise: (a) you don't have an entitlement for being nice, (b) you have to stand up for yourself and your thoughts both when approaching new girls and during the relationship as well (it will get boring for her if you're "too nice" and want to let her make all the decisions out of fear of doing something she doesn't want to), (c) being "too nice" can be seen as being too easy, and (d) you just haven't met the right girl for you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never had a girlfriend before and I'm 22 years old. All through secondary school and university though I have made efforts to speak to girls, get to know them but always unable to secure a date with them.

    I have some close female friends and I asked them for some dating advice from a girl's perspective and they said that when I'm getting to know girls (relationship wise) I shouldn't be 'too nice'. So many times during university have I been labelled a nice guy by girls that I want to date. Why exactly is this a bad thing?

    Should I start being an A-hole and laugh at girls in their faces or start calling them the B word or insult their parents? What is wrong with being too nice?
    I believe you'll find your answer at r/theredpill
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    I rather be with a nice guy than a **** tbh
 
 
 
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