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In love with a guy I met on-line Watch

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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    But i love him
    Do you? I beg the question how can you actually love someone you have never met? You might think its love (you did state this would be the first person you loved and hence you haven't experienced this before) but realistically it is far from it, sounds more like an attachement to me because you sound desperate to be in a relationship with somebody.

    You have never met in real life, so please dont be niave and start planning a wild trip to see him, he is older with a job so if he cares enough he would plan a trip to see you.

    I promise you, you will get there with this ideal man in your head (because you have never met you will have filled in the blank details with your ideals, thats exactly why your so smitten and it will be so far from the truth i can tell you now) and he will not be what you imagined or loved or wanted. If he is he is so far away, you cant bank everything on him moving here, save your jeart and end your very short relationship and stay as friends until you can meet, don't get why anyone would agree to an online relationship, thats no relationship at all...



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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    When he does come over to teach, he will be coming down to visit me, but we down know when that will be.

    Deep down i don't think he loves me as much as i do him, i cried myself to sleep over him last night.

    Okay well maybe ask your sister a few more questions about him see what she says nobody can make your decisions for you life is for the living so do what you want when you can.
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I'm not entirely sure, she said they are friends but I'm not sure how they met
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Do you never speak to your sister? Surely it's a simple question to ask, especially if you love this guy/want to know about him? I mean you could ask him also.

    How long exactly have you been "together"?
    yeah hold up, this whole situation is sketch. Why have you never asked your sister that? he's from mexico? what does he want to teach at cambridge? how is he gonna afford this? you have to be pretty ****ing qualified to teach at oxbridge js..
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I mean, relationships with age differences can work, but they're usually harder work and require the elder to be fairly immature and the junior to be extra mature. Only you know how accurate that is in this case.

    How do you know he's speaking to students/colleagues? Could just be family members. Why's he calling you at work anyway? I have teacher friends and they barely get enough to time piss and grab a coffee, let alone have protracted phonecalls with distance lovers.

    I'm assuming he's planning to come teach Spanish? Why at Cambridge? I mean if he wants to move for you surely he'd move nearby and the secondary schools in Cambridge are no better than anywhere else in the country I would imagine.

    You also appear yo have ignored everything else I said/asked.
    Not ignored just don't know what to say.

    He calls me during lunch or when he is marking papers. The people i hear in the background are asking questions about schoolwork, exams etc.

    He isn't going to be a Spanish teacher but i understand why you assumed that. He was planning on moving to Cambridge before we started talking


    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Do you never speak to your sister? Surely it's a simple question to ask, especially if you love this guy/want to know about him? I mean you could ask him also.

    How long exactly have you been "together"?
    I do ask my sister but she is very vauge when i ask about him. She knows how i feel and just said that he is a good person and that i shouldn't be woth someone that makes me cry.

    Together? A few months but I've known him a bit longer.
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    I can't do that!

    (Original post by SeanFM)
    You think you do, but I do not think it is possible if you have never met.

    If I were you, I would let this one go.
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I can't do that!
    Seems like you dont really care what everyone else has to say anyway, so why this thread. I honestly think you are making one of the stupidest decisions which you will later come to regret.

    How old is this guy? How old are you? How long have you been together? What are your plans in life?


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    and what does he teach in mexico?
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    Seems like you dont really care what everyone else has to say anyway, so why this thread. I honestly think you are making one of the stupidest decisions which you will later come to regret.

    How old is this guy? How old are you? How long have you been together? What are your plans in life?


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    I'm 18 he is 41,

    I just wanted people opinions. And maybe some support and advice, but everyone is being so negative.

    I am talking note of all the comments I'll ask to Skype when text him later.
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    (Original post by Alextaylor6)
    and what does he teach in mexico?

    Computers and Robotics. He is an Tech geek
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    The fact that your sister is being so vague when you ask her how does she know him is a massive red flag.
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I'm 18 he is 41,

    I just wanted people opinions. And maybe some support and advice, but everyone is being so negative.

    I am talking note of all the comments I'll ask to Skype when text him later.
    Everyone is being so "negative" because we are concerned about your fixation and "love" (but not real love) for a 41 year old mexican man which you have never met, not even skyped. Your holding out what could be false hope for him moving here to teach, and your 18!!! please please please go and live your life, when you will be 28 he will be 51, when your 38 he will be 61 and when your 48 he will be 71... Think of it that way, the age gap is significant and very unlikely to work as at different times in life people want and require different things.

    Were not trying to be mean, were trying to help you see how ludicrous and niave this all sounds to us. Your coming across incredibly immature for an 18 year old and its so unhealthy to bw fixated on a man you have never met, let alone be in love with him.

    Honestly its not worth it!


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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I'm madly in love with a guy i met on-line. He is friends with my sister, she introduced me to him We text everyday and i call him or he calls me nearly everyday.

    He lives in Mexico so we've never met, he tells me that he is planning to come to a teaching job in Cambridge, i want to believe him, but part or me doesn't. He is older than me but i don't care, i want to be with him. I've considered taking a gbap year before uni to go to him.

    I don't know what to do he is the first person i've ever loved.
    Remember the American show called Catfish ?
    That’s all i'm saying
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    Not ignored just don't know what to say.

    He calls me during lunch or when he is marking papers. The people i hear in the background are asking questions about schoolwork, exams etc.

    He isn't going to be a Spanish teacher but i understand why you assumed that. He was planning on moving to Cambridge before we started talking




    I do ask my sister but she is very vauge when i ask about him. She knows how i feel and just said that he is a good person and that i shouldn't be woth someone that makes me cry.

    Together? A few months but I've known him a bit longer.
    Do you speak Spanish or is he informing you they're asking about schoolwork?

    What does he plan to teach then? Is it at university or secondary school level?

    I suspect if your sister is being vague the way they met is probably online and they probably had their own brief online fling. Has your sister ever been to Mexico? If not it is highly unlikely she met him in person.

    You don't fall in love with someone in a couple of months, you lust after someone within a couple of months.
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I'm madly in love with a guy i met on-line. He is friends with my sister, she introduced me to him We text everyday and i call him or he calls me nearly everyday.

    He lives in Mexico so we've never met, he tells me that he is planning to come to a teaching job in Cambridge, i want to believe him, but part or me doesn't. He is older than me but i don't care, i want to be with him. I've considered taking a gap year before uni to go to him.

    I don't know what to do he is the first person i've ever loved.
    Age is not important it's how that person treats you that is. Lots of people are in long term successful relationships with partners who have a big age gap
    I have seen so many documentaries on tv about it where one person is 18 or 26 and their partner is 50, 60, 70 or 90
    It does look sick but if their happy together that's all that matters
    You have to try before you buy ( No , i'm joking about that )
    It could work, you never know but he could also be dodgy but it's your decision but you should never give up doing anything for anyone else. You definitely should not take a gap year for him. If he's serious let him come to you and you can still go to uni and meet him
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    Everyone is being so "negative" because we are concerned about your fixation and "love" (but not real love) for a 41 year old mexican man which you have never met, not even skyped. Your holding out what could be false hope for him moving here to teach, and your 18!!! please please please go and live your life, when you will be 28 he will be 51, when your 38 he will be 61 and when your 48 he will be 71... Think of it that way, the age gap is significant and very unlikely to work as at different times in life people want and require different things.

    Were not trying to be mean, were trying to help you see how ludicrous and niave this all sounds to us. Your coming across incredibly immature for an 18 year old and its so unhealthy to bw fixated on a man you have never met, let alone be in love with him.

    Honestly its not worth it!


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    I do get everything you are saying, trust me, and i'm reading everything, I am partly concerned about getting hurt.

    I was trying not to mention this but i was bullied my whole school life due to so called friends, all because i wanted to study and do well in life. José is the 1st guy that liked me for me, he likes that i'm a study nerd (our words) we get on so well.

    Again he is my first boyfriend and first love.
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    Computers and Robotics. He is an Tech geek
    He's a tech geek who teaches about computers and robotics but you've never skyped together? It can't be a tech issue.

    I mean, do you see the red flag here?

    Incidentally, what would he teach over here at secondary school? We don't learn robotics here at secondary (in fact I am highly sceptical that mexicans learn robotics at secondary).
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    I do get everything you are saying, trust me, and i'm reading everything, I am partly concerned about getting hurt.

    I was trying not to mention this but i was bullied my whole school life due to so called friends, all because i wanted to study and do well in life. José is the 1st guy that liked me for me, he likes that i'm a study nerd (our words) we get on so well.

    Again he is my first boyfriend and first love.
    I experienced the exact same thing in school for the exact same reasons and can understand why you latched onto him, but you need to enjoy your life right now rather than getting held down and crying all night over somebody, he just doesnt seem worth it at all. We all have first loves and letting them go is going to hurt, but you will thank yourself.


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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    He's a tech geek who teaches about computers and robotics but you've never skyped together? It can't be a tech issue.

    I mean, do you see the red flag here?

    Incidentally, what would he teach over here at secondary school? We don't learn robotics here at secondary (in fact I am highly sceptical that mexicans learn robotics at secondary).
    Yes i see the flag, but we've never done it because neither of us have asked and believe it or not I'm incredibly shy.

    Its a private college so it's university.
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    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    Wish I'd been told this last year
    Aww :console:
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    (Original post by Bekkiblu)
    Yes i see the flag, but we've never done it because neither of us have asked and believe it or not I'm incredibly shy.

    Its a private college so it's university.
    how can he speak perfect english, and holy **** he's 41? by the time you want children his ball bag will be shrivelled up and dead
 
 
 
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