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    • #2
    #2

    Have you ever been to the gym? it will give the person a completely different thing to focus on, and having problems such as body dysmorphia wont have that much of a negative effect on you. If anything, it strengthens your drive to become better.

    The whole point of the gym in this scenario is to distract OP, who is somewhat depressed. Its obviously not an immediate solution and may not work with everyone but he's already said he goes to the gym and therefore wants to improve himself, why not commit fully to it? Setting personal goals at the gym, and achieving them will give you so much more confidence, and will make you not depend on getting that girl or being approved by those mates to get your confidence.

    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Sure it will. Because gym goers can never suffer from issues such as depression or body dysmorphia.

    At any rate, good luck with it OP, hopefully it helps you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1.decides he is going to change his life in terms of taking care of self,social life and academics
    2.kind of motivated
    This is a great start but MINDSET IS ONLY HALF THE BATTLE

    MAKE QUANTITATIVE CHANGES

    Say youll start a conversation with others 5 times today or with 5 girls today
    Start meditating for 10 mins a day
    Track calories if thats a relevant goal
    Exercise for a set amount of mins if thats your goal

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    4. Decent start, then **** goes down i either see this girl who i kind of like, seeing her pisses me off, because i am so hopeless with her and yep she probably doesnt like me.
    THE WORD PROBABLY SHOWS YOU HAVE A CHANCE

    Do you have similarish intrests?

    Does she not hate you?

    THEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE GODDAMMIT

    Ok maybe youre not mr popular but you have to try OR REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

    At least talk/msg her this week about her plans for the summer or how her exams went ANYTHING START IT MAN!!!



    (Original post by Anonymous)
    5. Cba in lessons especially as we done exams :/
    Then study harder next time, theres no excuse for this one unfortunately...


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    6. Thinks about how awkward and unconfident i am :/. Even though i try
    Then build confidence, say youll talk to 1 stranger a day then 2 then 3. Simple hi's or how are you, then how was your weekend/holiday and then compliment their clothes/style it will all build up!!


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    7. Thinks about how none of my friends are close with me and dont care what i say. Maybe im boring **** knows.
    Maybe your intrests are just rare or you need to try more things?



    (Original post by Anonymous)
    8. Throughout the day thinking about and telling myself how i will one day make it and find myself.9. Goes to cry anon on TSR.10. Build up motivation againRinse and repeat
    8-TODAY IS THAT DAY AFTER YOU READ MY REPLY

    9-At least you asked for help and youve got it now

    10-THIS TIME IST PERMANENT NO RINSING OR REPEATINGIT STARTS NOW!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMug2TPuWAE
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    #1

    omg i love you all
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Dude, Im not hating myself. I just know for a fact that I can become much more confident and less socially awkward.
    I imagine practice and experience socialising would be better for that than bigger biceps. Glad to hear you don't hate yourself, your OP somewhat suggested you did.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ForestShadow)
    This is a great start but MINDSET IS ONLY HALF THE BATTLE

    MAKE QUANTITATIVE CHANGES

    Say youll start a conversation with others 5 times today or with 5 girls today
    Start meditating for 10 mins a day
    Track calories if thats a relevant goal
    Exercise for a set amount of mins if thats your goal

    THE WORLD PROBABLY SHOWS YOU HAVE A CHANCEDo you have similarish intrests?Does she not hate you?THEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE GODDAMMITOk maybe youre not mr popular but you have to try OR REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFEAt least talk/msg her this week about her plans for the summer or how her exams went ANYTHING START IT MAN!!!]
    I have tried speaking to her a few times, but I always screwed up and its litreally like urgh, now if i try to approach it she doesnt even want me to talk to her now 90%sure and i know this for a fact. She literally does not give me a chance to talk to her, if I try she will say hi and then look at her phone or something. I swear I thought I was over her and then whenever I see her I think about her pretty she is :/. Even though I know there are so many other girls and she isnt even the best one in my eyes but still like 50% of me likes her ffs.


    Then study harder next time, theres no excuse for this one unfortunately...
    Yes i fully understand this!

    Then build confidence, say youll talk to 1 stranger a day then 2 then 3. Simple hi's or how are you, then how was your weekend/holiday and then compliment their clothes/style it will all build up!!
    Working on this

    Maybe your intrests are just rare or you need to try more things?
    my interests are very common (football,video games,)


    8-TODAY IS THAT DAY AFTER YOU READ MY REPLY9-At least you asked for help and youve got it now10-THIS TIME IST PERMANENT NO RINSING OR REPEATINGIT STARTS NOW!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMug2TPuWAE
    I know its possible and i believe in myself
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Have you ever been to the gym? it will give the person a completely different thing to focus on, and having problems such as body dysmorphia wont have that much of a negative effect on you. If anything, it strengthens your drive to become better.

    The whole point of the gym in this scenario is to distract OP, who is somewhat depressed. Its obviously not an immediate solution and may not work with everyone but he's already said he goes to the gym and therefore wants to improve himself, why not commit fully to it? Setting personal goals at the gym, and achieving them will give you so much more confidence, and will make you not depend on getting that girl or being approved by those mates to get your confidence.
    Yes, several. I fully disagree that going to the gym assists with overcoming or ignoring the "negatives" of body dysmorphia, having seen guys who can never be "big enough".

    Incidentally, I've nothing against the OP going to the gym or setting himself gym targets as a way to focus himself and distract himself. I just disagree with the mentality of "feel like a loser? Go to the gym, it fixes everything".

    If you are in an unhealthy place mentally, the gym is not going to fix this. As it happens, the OP doesn't appear to hate himself as much as I initially thought, so if he feels building some muscle will help him, more power to him.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Yes, several. I fully disagree that going to the gym assists with overcoming or ignoring the "negatives" of body dysmorphia, having seen guys who can never be "big enough".

    Incidentally, I've nothing against the OP going to the gym or setting himself gym targets as a way to focus himself and distract himself. I just disagree with the mentality of "feel like a loser? Go to the gym, it fixes everything".

    If you are in an unhealthy place mentally, the gym is not going to fix this. As it happens, the OP doesn't appear to hate himself as much as I initially thought, so if he feels building some muscle will help him, more power to him.
    I dont mean to say the gym will literally solve his problems, but it can definitely give you confidence to solve your problems yourself instead of complaining etc

    Same can be done by any other competitive sport i guess, gym is just something which has worked for me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont mean to say the gym will literally solve his problems, but it can definitely give you confidence to solve your problems yourself instead of complaining etc

    Same can be done by any other competitive sport i guess, gym is just something which has worked for me
    You perhaps didn't, but it's a common knee-jerk response I see and it irritates me. There is of course nothing wrong (and plenty good) about going to the gym, but lets not pretend it's going to cure cancer and instantly make you grow a beard.

    Anyway, I feel ForestShadow pretty much nailed the subject, and I've nothing to add over and above it, so I'm going to withdraw myself from the topic.

    Have a nice evening all.
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    (Original post by Elivercury)
    There is of course nothing wrong (and plenty good) about going to the gym, but lets not pretend it's going to cure cancer .
    http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fit...re-cancer.aspx

    http://www.menshealth.com/health/how...lp-cure-cancer

    :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah i agree, i think im just going through a phase to be honest.
    Dont worry man, we all do! Just be yourself bro, and do what you want
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    omg i love you all
    Thanks.

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