My mum has put me off my dream job!

Can't say on here...

Are you in a similar position as me with the commute/saving money decision?

you're using anonymous so you might as well say . And no but as an asian I'm sure we probably can relate with other things

I would like to save money and the rent will cost me well over a grand as I would need to find my own food and stuff.

The problem with the commute is that I need two trains (each 20-35 mins) a walk in between trains and then a walk to the office (that is if my mum does take me to the station every day, if not then i need a bus from home to the first station). Does the fact that I need to interchange at least once, still make it doable?

I'm not being funny that commute isn't unheard of! A lot of people do that or more.

She's only saving you 15 mins each way? not worth it. She is trying to hold on for dear life.

I'm not interested in how old you are or anything but what you need to see is that you've done pretty well!

There comes a time when parents just need to take a step back.

Can you imagine getting your mum to drop you to the station and then pick you up after work? It wouldn't even be the same. She may as well sit at your desk and feed you lunch as well.

When you want to stay behind to talk/see work mates you're going to have to ring/text her and tell her your whereabouts so she can pick you up later? Or skip picking you up? Do you want that?

Then on top of that (as amazing as mum's are) not only are you seeing her to and from work you'll also be with her at home too.

You can still save money for your house deposit..sacrifices have to be made but you also don't want to sacrifice too much so that it becomes stressful and unpleasant.

So what you're saying is stay at home but travel myself? Or are you saying live out?

I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

Am I overreacting? What can I do?

I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

Am I overreacting? What can I do?

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling under pressure.... if you took away what your mum, colleagues or anyone else wanted, what is it that would make YOU happiest?

Mum's ALWAYS hate when their kids move out as they don't their children to fly the nest but I do think you will enjoy living with your peers more than staying at home but you've got to do what is right for you

Personally if I were you I would move out and try it - what's there to lose? If you don't like living away from home, you can move back.

If you're commuting an hour somewhere, I expect that train ticket will be really expensive and that money could go towards a rented flat or room in a flat sharing. So you won't be saving a great deal anyway by living at home.

Beyond all of that, I agree with others, if you have graduated, it is time to move out and give life on your own a whirl. Have some freedom. If you're only an hour away, it's super easy to visit your mum.

The horror stories of moving out are not real, your mum is just worried for you and worried she will miss you. She's looking out for you.

So perhaps you can offer her some reassurances that you're only an hour away, you'll call every day etc. She won't be happy initially, but the sooner you decide you move out and stick to that, the sooner she can start accepting it.

I commute 1 hr 30 mins to work and the same back, if I could move to be nearer to work I would 100% do that. Commuting sucks your life away in the week and it isn't fun.

Don't give up on the job, it sounds really well paid and good - move out and give it a try

You can tell your colleagues you've changed your mind, that won't be a big issue but if you wanna move out then move out. You can easily rent somewhere and still save plenty on 30k.

I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf

It's your money, not hers, so her opinion is irrelevant

Surely though, as a parent she should be trying to offer me the best path to my future though? I get that saving money is important.

I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

Am I overreacting? What can I do?

I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf

I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf