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    IMO, don't rent! Asians basically control the housing market in the UK (mainly Pakistani and Chinese). They don't rent! Renting is a hassle. Just save up for a deposit, whilst living at home. Believe me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will consider moving out for the first year, while I settle into my new job. After that I will try to get a job nearer to home that pays higher (unless I get a promotion) and then i will stay at home and commute. Good idea?
    Settling into your job is important of course, but you don't want to mess around too much during the probation period (usually first 3 months at least) - try to get your accommodation sorted prior to the start date. The other reason for living independently first is to take a measure of how well you do, how you handle yourself and your place - truth is, you won't know until you've tried it - think of it as a personal test before going straight to a house of your own. It will also help prepare you in other ways e.g. handling your finances, remote work at other sites of the business etc.

    Also, if you're not licensed to drive, you need to get on board ASAP. This is important and should have been done before you even started university.

    I'd say, settle in, and see where your job takes you. Could be a promotion or you might just enjoy it enough to stick with it, or find yourself looking at other opportunities online closer to home. Just don't screw up, you want a good reference so make a good impression in your first role. Get on LinkedIn while you're at it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    IMO, don't rent! Asians basically control the housing market in the UK (mainly Pakistani and Chinese). They don't rent! Renting is a hassle. Just save up for a deposit, whilst living at home. Believe me.
    Reckon I can do a 1 hour 20 minute commute each day though? Have to wake up at 6am :/
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Settling into your job is important of course, but you don't want to mess around too much during the probation period (usually first 3 months at least) - try to get your accommodation sorted prior to the start date. The other reason for living independently first is to take a measure of how well you do, how you handle yourself and your place - truth is, you won't know until you've tried it - think of it as a personal test before going straight to a house of your own. It will also help prepare you in other ways e.g. handling your finances, remote work at other sites of the business etc.

    Also, if you're not licensed to drive, you need to get on board ASAP. This is important and should have been done before you even started university.

    I'd say, settle in, and see where your job takes you. Could be a promotion or you might just enjoy it enough to stick with it, or find yourself looking at other opportunities online closer to home. Just don't screw up, you want a good reference so make a good impression in your first role.
    When you moved out, how long would have your commute been if you had lived at home?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When you moved out, how long would have your commute been if you had lived at home?
    Moving out, my commute was about 10mins drive to the office. Staying home, would have been almost 2 hours - thinking about it now, the stress of doing that would have been way OTT in a first role and the cost savings difference would have been for the most part negligible. Moving away, gave me the energy and peace of mind to focus on my career, network, find my own path, pick up the soft skills, socialise and build confidence both personally and professionally etc.

    Sometimes - during weekends, bank holidays, annual leave (I would sometimes book a few days off around national holiday periods) and such I would visit home and stay the nights there. I would also call my parents each week by phone, just to give them some peace and assurance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can't say on here...

    Are you in a similar position as me with the commute/saving money decision?
    you're using anonymous so you might as well say . And no but as an asian I'm sure we probably can relate with other things
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you're using anonymous so you might as well say . And no but as an asian I'm sure we probably can relate with other things
    Gonna be working as a network analyst

    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Moving out, my commute was about 10mins drive to the office. Staying home, would have been almost 2 hours - thinking about it now, the stress of doing that would have been way OTT in a first role and the cost savings difference would have been for the most part negligible. Moving away, gave me the energy and peace of mind to focus on my career, network, find my own path, pick up the soft skills, socialise and build confidence both personally and professionally etc.

    Sometimes - during weekends, bank holidays, annual leave (I would sometimes book a few days off around national holiday periods) and such I would visit home and stay the nights there. I would also call my parents each week by phone, just to give them some peace and assurance.
    Isn't there a lot of hassle with living out though? Like moving stuff across and then having to adjust to new environment

    For you it was 2 hours but mine is gonna be like 30-40 mins less than that. like my journey is certainly feasible but I'm not sure if that should justify paying a lot of rent each month
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Gonna be working as a network analyst

    Isn't there a lot of hassle with living out though? Like moving stuff across and then having to adjust to new environment

    For you it was 2 hours but mine is gonna be like 30-40 mins less than that. like my journey is certainly feasible but I'm not sure if that should justify paying a lot of rent each month
    That's the whole point of living away... the hassle and dealing with it. How can you expect to manage your own house, taxes, insurance, bills and all the other hassles when you can't even manage yourself in a rented apartment? You only have to move stuff across and back twice. It doesn't have to be everything either, just some essentials and clothes. Look - I was renting a small furnished en-suite apartment with all bills and internet inclusive and private parking available at £495 a month - I only brought with me my computer/laptop & hardware stuff and enough clothes to last 2 weeks with the idea of doing laundry every weekend. If I needed anything else, I would visit home on the weekends, maybe stay the night and then leave with what I needed - or I would go out and buy it or order online.

    Any commute over an hour is still pretty long if you're new at this IMO, unless this is not your first role, you have a fair amount of experience and you're well aware of your own long-term capabilities and limitations.

    I work in the IT field as a developer and DevOps. Sometimes networks and servers as and when required too. Sounds like you're starting with computer networks, unless I misinterpreted 'network analyst'.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    That's the whole point of living away... the hassle and dealing with it. How can you expect to manage your own house, taxes, insurance, bills and all the other hassles when you can't even manage yourself in a rented apartment? You only have to move stuff across and back twice. It doesn't have to be everything either, just some essentials and clothes. Look - I was renting a small furnished en-suite apartment with all bills and internet inclusive and private parking available at £495 a month - I only brought with me my computer/laptop & hardware stuff and enough clothes to last 2 weeks with the idea of doing laundry every weekend. If I needed anything else, I would visit home on the weekends, maybe stay the night and then leave with what I needed - or I would go out and buy it or order online.

    Any commute over an hour is still pretty long if you're new at this IMO, unless this is not your first role, you have a fair amount of experience and you're well aware of your own long-term capabilities and limitations.

    I work in the IT field as a developer and DevOps. Sometimes networks and servers as and when required too. Sounds like you're starting with computer networks, unless I misinterpreted 'network analyst'.
    I'd most likely share a flat with others to be honest, I think it would be cheaper.

    Well I did do a placement, the commute for that was 40 minutes. This is double the length.

    You know the pressure from Asian parents, wanting to save money and all that. I think it's a good idea to save for my own place eventually though

    And yes, working with computer networks. Not quite developer/devops but I think I do interact with people in that field so who knows we might work together
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would like to save money and the rent will cost me well over a grand as I would need to find my own food and stuff.

    The problem with the commute is that I need two trains (each 20-35 mins) a walk in between trains and then a walk to the office (that is if my mum does take me to the station every day, if not then i need a bus from home to the first station). Does the fact that I need to interchange at least once, still make it doable?
    While the walk between stations is annoying, if it only takes you an hour to get to work it can't be that bad. I woke up at 6am daily for secondary school, and for Uni when I live at home. If you can drive, drive to work. If you lived out for Uni, living away for work is hardly a novel experience.

    I don't see the point of moving out, when you can effectively do the exact same thing 2 years later on a permanent basis and get some revenue out of it. But ultimately it's your choice
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    I'm not being funny that commute isn't unheard of! A lot of people do that or more.

    She's only saving you 15 mins each way? not worth it. She is trying to hold on for dear life.

    I'm not interested in how old you are or anything but what you need to see is that you've done pretty well!

    There comes a time when parents just need to take a step back.

    Can you imagine getting your mum to drop you to the station and then pick you up after work? It wouldn't even be the same. She may as well sit at your desk and feed you lunch as well.

    When you want to stay behind to talk/see work mates you're going to have to ring/text her and tell her your whereabouts so she can pick you up later? Or skip picking you up? Do you want that?

    Then on top of that (as amazing as mum's are) not only are you seeing her to and from work you'll also be with her at home too.

    You can still save money for your house deposit..sacrifices have to be made but you also don't want to sacrifice too much so that it becomes stressful and unpleasant.
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    (Original post by MaseratiJay)
    I'm not being funny that commute isn't unheard of! A lot of people do that or more.

    She's only saving you 15 mins each way? not worth it. She is trying to hold on for dear life.

    I'm not interested in how old you are or anything but what you need to see is that you've done pretty well!

    There comes a time when parents just need to take a step back.

    Can you imagine getting your mum to drop you to the station and then pick you up after work? It wouldn't even be the same. She may as well sit at your desk and feed you lunch as well.

    When you want to stay behind to talk/see work mates you're going to have to ring/text her and tell her your whereabouts so she can pick you up later? Or skip picking you up? Do you want that?

    Then on top of that (as amazing as mum's are) not only are you seeing her to and from work you'll also be with her at home too.

    You can still save money for your house deposit..sacrifices have to be made but you also don't want to sacrifice too much so that it becomes stressful and unpleasant.
    So what you're saying is stay at home but travel myself? Or are you saying live out?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what you're saying is stay at home but travel myself? Or are you saying live out?

    I think personally either stay but travel alone (independence etc, 15 mins each way is really nice to save but just imagine it 5 days a week getting dropped to and picked up by a parent - we all need room to grow)

    Or move out

    Whichever one suits you best

    If you wish to move out, no joke don't let anyone stop you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

    I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

    But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

    Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

    Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

    I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

    Am I overreacting? What can I do?
    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling under pressure.... if you took away what your mum, colleagues or anyone else wanted, what is it that would make YOU happiest?

    Mum's ALWAYS hate when their kids move out as they don't their children to fly the nest but I do think you will enjoy living with your peers more than staying at home but you've got to do what is right for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

    I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

    But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

    Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

    Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

    I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

    Am I overreacting? What can I do?
    Personally if I were you I would move out and try it - what's there to lose? If you don't like living away from home, you can move back.

    If you're commuting an hour somewhere, I expect that train ticket will be really expensive and that money could go towards a rented flat or room in a flat sharing. So you won't be saving a great deal anyway by living at home.

    Beyond all of that, I agree with others, if you have graduated, it is time to move out and give life on your own a whirl. Have some freedom. If you're only an hour away, it's super easy to visit your mum.

    The horror stories of moving out are not real, your mum is just worried for you and worried she will miss you. She's looking out for you.

    So perhaps you can offer her some reassurances that you're only an hour away, you'll call every day etc. She won't be happy initially, but the sooner you decide you move out and stick to that, the sooner she can start accepting it.

    I commute 1 hr 30 mins to work and the same back, if I could move to be nearer to work I would 100% do that. Commuting sucks your life away in the week and it isn't fun.

    Don't give up on the job, it sounds really well paid and good - move out and give it a try
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    You can tell your colleagues you've changed your mind, that won't be a big issue but if you wanna move out then move out. You can easily rent somewhere and still save plenty on 30k.
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    (Original post by Queen Cersei)
    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling under pressure.... if you took away what your mum, colleagues or anyone else wanted, what is it that would make YOU happiest?

    Mum's ALWAYS hate when their kids move out as they don't their children to fly the nest but I do think you will enjoy living with your peers more than staying at home but you've got to do what is right for you
    (Original post by Captain Jack)
    Personally if I were you I would move out and try it - what's there to lose? If you don't like living away from home, you can move back.

    If you're commuting an hour somewhere, I expect that train ticket will be really expensive and that money could go towards a rented flat or room in a flat sharing. So you won't be saving a great deal anyway by living at home.

    Beyond all of that, I agree with others, if you have graduated, it is time to move out and give life on your own a whirl. Have some freedom. If you're only an hour away, it's super easy to visit your mum.

    The horror stories of moving out are not real, your mum is just worried for you and worried she will miss you. She's looking out for you.

    So perhaps you can offer her some reassurances that you're only an hour away, you'll call every day etc. She won't be happy initially, but the sooner you decide you move out and stick to that, the sooner she can start accepting it.

    I commute 1 hr 30 mins to work and the same back, if I could move to be nearer to work I would 100% do that. Commuting sucks your life away in the week and it isn't fun.

    Don't give up on the job, it sounds really well paid and good - move out and give it a try
    (Original post by doodle_333)
    You can tell your colleagues you've changed your mind, that won't be a big issue but if you wanna move out then move out. You can easily rent somewhere and still save plenty on 30k.
    I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf
    It's your money, not hers, so her opinion is irrelevant
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    It's your money, not hers, so her opinion is irrelevant
    Surely though, as a parent she should be trying to offer me the best path to my future though? I get that saving money is important.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Surely though, as a parent she should be trying to offer me the best path to my future though? I get that saving money is important.
    Yes, but as it is your money you have the final say. From what you've said she's attempting to control and oppress a grown adult instead of simply giving them guidance.

    It is your life-you need to grow up and make a decision YOURSELF about YOUR money and YOUR life.
 
 
 
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