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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just want to forget him, even no contact doesn't work, and he sometimes starts conversations with me too
    he sometimes really flirted with me a lot
    we talk for hours about everything and it's so hard
    Tell him you need to move on and he needs to give you some space until you're over it. If he doesn't respect this, block his ass and call him out for being a manipulative ****. Don't dilly dally or you'll just make life harder for yourself

    he told my friend I was nice
    Red flag

    started to be into other people .. then he started being into me again
    Red flag

    but he didn't want a relationship
    Red flag

    I went on a date with someone else and .. made him realised he really liked me
    Red flag

    I was more 'quiet and calm' than him and he just felt like it 'wouldn't work
    You didn’t stimulate him on that level. Opposites do not attract when it comes to key personality types

    he admitted he was still in love with his ex
    See above red flags FYR

    he'd been interested in me and then changed his mind twice
    He was never that into you, he was just initially motivated to chase, ****, and sexually territorialise you. It was never meant to be, and he’s not the right guy for you. It really is that simple

    I am really depressed and have been for a while; I don't enjoy things anymore and I am obsessively checking whether he's been online; whether girls have posted anything on his wall etc
    You seem like a reasonably intelligent girl. You must realise that you have a choice in this. You can chose a life of misery, pining over a non-committal douchebag, or you can chose a different path

    I think life is too short to play games and it's not like I said I was in love and wanted to marry him, but I did tell him I liked him a lot
    Does indeed sound as if you handled things reasonably sensibly and gave him no reason to run for the hills, he just wasn’t right for you. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you will be able to move on, and heal. Here are my general pointers for bouncing back:

    • Engage emotionally | Let yourself grieve the loss of the partner/relationship. This is only natural vs. unnatural to repress it

    • Acceptance | If it's ended then it's likely because you are not 'supposed to be together' e.g. at least one of you isn't right for the other

    • Forgive and forget | Not always possible but almost always healthy to use the experience as an opportunity to show dignity/humanity

    • No contact rule | Depending on the nature of breakup, it's often a good idea to give them/yourself some space, for a while at least

    • Out of sight, out of mind | Depending on how emotionally vulnerable/insecure one is, it can be helpful to remove all traces of one's ex

    • Watch out for manipulation | Human nature being as it is, it's rare for young people to make a totally clean break. Don't get sucked into games

    • Avoid revenge mentality | Apart from anything else this is a total waste of energy and you risk losing the moral high ground if things get petty

    • Listen to your gut | Also listen to reason e.g. consider patterns of behaviour over time, rather than just salient events/your own insecurities

    • Staying friends | See above comments - few can hack it but in certain circumstances it can actually be healthy/helpful to stay on friendly terms

    • Be around people | Also busy yourself, and do reach out to dependable friends and family who can support you as you bounce back

    • Time heals all | What seems like the end of the world one week can be just a drop in the ocean the next. Life goes on

    • Avoid alcohol/substance abuse | This is unlikely to bring you either physical or psychological stability, which is just what you need!

    • Talk to other potentials | When you're ready (not if you're still full of angst/in a beta or 'victim complex' mindset)
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    thanks very much, I'm going to take into account everything you've said
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    He's being friendly again online; starting to 'like' my pictures again and makes more of an effort with conversation. He hasn't been flirty, but he's been friendly and making an effort to keep the convo going..
    Like the other day, I told him I was 'going out now, bye, have a good weekend' (to end the convo) and he just carried it on by asking me another question :s
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    I do feel a little bit better but part of me still loves him... I know I just need to move on but I can't :s
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do feel a little bit better but part of me still loves him... I know I just need to move on but I can't :s
    Well, I have no experience with this but I think what you've done so far has worked really well so you should try continuing. Foo's obviously more knowledgeable so I guess continue working in the tips and advice he gave and hopefully things will get a bit easier. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to stay friends with him? It's all up to you though. Just go with what you feel would make it easier

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    Thank you, I am going to do that yes

    I do want to stay friends; I am much happier when we speak than when we don't, even though we're not seeing each other.

    However, I'm going to be in the local area in about 10 days' time, and I'm unsure whether I would see him or not. He told me to let him know if i'd be there, and I said I would, but my friend says it's a really bad idea as it won't help me move on.

    However, he's moving to the U.S in september for at least a year so that's it, we're not going to see each other after this anyway
    (maybe that was part of the reason for him not wanting to get into a relationship, but i'm not entirely sure...)
    anyway, unsure as to why he's contuing to talk to me and such.. maybe he just wants to be friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, I am going to do that yes

    I do want to stay friends; I am much happier when we speak than when we don't, even though we're not seeing each other.

    However, I'm going to be in the local area in about 10 days' time, and I'm unsure whether I would see him or not. He told me to let him know if i'd be there, and I said I would, but my friend says it's a really bad idea as it won't help me move on.

    However, he's moving to the U.S in september for at least a year so that's it, we're not going to see each other after this anyway
    (maybe that was part of the reason for him not wanting to get into a relationship, but i'm not entirely sure...)
    anyway, unsure as to why he's contuing to talk to me and such.. maybe he just wants to be friends.
    No worries

    Then that's what I'd suggest you do.

    Personally, I think you need to think, if he were to say that he'd want to make out or have a one night stand before he goes to America, would you be able to retain self control and not agree to it, even though you feel as if you still love him. If you feel you could resist and keep it platonic, then by all means, meet up. It'd be a nice thing to do before he leaves. However, if you don't think you could, then I'd agree with your friend.
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    That's a good point, thanks, I'll have to bear it in mind

    To be honest, I don't imagine him trying anything, but who knows. I feel that i'd be able to resist, and I just think it'd be a shame not to see him. he says he'll come back every 6 months, but yeah, who knows if we'll see each other again.

    I'll suggest it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's a good point, thanks, I'll have to bear it in mind

    To be honest, I don't imagine him trying anything, but who knows. I feel that i'd be able to resist, and I just think it'd be a shame not to see him. he says he'll come back every 6 months, but yeah, who knows if we'll see each other again.

    I'll suggest it
    Not a problem.

    Good choice, I think. Have a great time, I hope it all goes well

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    OP going through the same thing ATM*
    *
    Foo,could your advice be helpful?*
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    OP going through the same thing ATM*
    *
    Foo,could your advice be helpful?*
    I'm sorry to hear that What's happened?
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    OP going through the same thing ATM
    God loves you, my child :jebus:

    Foo, could your advice be helpful?*
    See top of this page, for the pearls I dispensed, FYR
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    God loves you, my child :jebus:

    See top of this page, for the pearls I dispensed, FYR
    God loves us all but it's not just god's loving I want,it sucks being in an unrequited love situation*

    Oh the move on from them pointers...*
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    God loves us all but it's not just god's loving I want,it sucks being in an unrequited love situation*

    Oh the move on from them pointers...*
    God loves you and nature loves you. Stay happy be happy. Chances are theres someone in unrequited love with you, so once you be with them you will both be happy. God blessU
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    I'm going to see him again in September.. I think that will be better and I could handle it then.

    I suggested meeting next week; bad idea I know.... basically, i'm going to be visiting a city which is about 2h30 from his by train. I said i'd be there and suggested just on the off-chance that we could catch up. He first asked me why I was going.... and then after that he said that it'd be far for him to come, which I understood. I then suggested meeting halfway and he said that'd still be far, and that it'd be better for us to meet when he comes in September.

    So, I guess he didn't really want to meet; I think he could have at least made the effort to meet halfway, but there you go, he didn't really want to.

    Maybe I won't even see him in September, who knows. Anyway, i'm disappointed but I know this is for the best....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm going to see him again in September.. I think that will be better and I could handle it then.

    I suggested meeting next week; bad idea I know.... basically, i'm going to be visiting a city which is about 2h30 from his by train. I said i'd be there and suggested just on the off-chance that we could catch up. He first asked me why I was going.... and then after that he said that it'd be far for him to come, which I understood. I then suggested meeting halfway and he said that'd still be far, and that it'd be better for us to meet when he comes in September.

    So, I guess he didn't really want to meet; I think he could have at least made the effort to meet halfway, but there you go, he didn't really want to.

    Maybe I won't even see him in September, who knows. Anyway, i'm disappointed but I know this is for the best....
    It's good to hear this. That sounds like a good idea It does sound like he's not too keen on meeting but maybe he's just nervous after everything that's happened.
    I think this may be for the best too:hugs:
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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    It's good to hear this. That sounds like a good idea It does sound like he's not too keen on meeting but maybe he's just nervous after everything that's happened.
    I think this may be for the best too:hugs:
    Posted from TSR Mobile

    It could be that, yes I admit it would have been weird/awkward anyway given that we had a few arguments and stuff last month about it... I suppose it's not like we can just see each other and be like heeey bro what's up.. lol

    I suppose that he didn't want to get attached to anyone either; knowing that he was moving to the states.
    Sadly I think he will be one of those people I always have some kind of soft spot for. I would never sleep with him again now or anything.. and even though I feel like he led me on and everything, if he asked me out tomorrow, I'd consider saying yes

    I'm trying to meet someone else at the moment.. I don't see myself forgetting him completely, but, we'll see.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It could be that, yes I admit it would have been weird/awkward anyway given that we had a few arguments and stuff last month about it... I suppose it's not like we can just see each other and be like heeey bro what's up.. lol

    I suppose that he didn't want to get attached to anyone either; knowing that he was moving to the states.
    Sadly I think he will be one of those people I always have some kind of soft spot for. I would never sleep with him again now or anything.. and even though I feel like he led me on and everything, if he asked me out tomorrow, I'd consider saying yes

    I'm trying to meet someone else at the moment.. I don't see myself forgetting him completely, but, we'll see.
    Haha yeah

    Well, I think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all As your friend said, it probably will just take a bit of time but it's improved so you're getting there.

    That sounds great. Good luck with that!

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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    Haha yeah

    Well, I think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all As your friend said, it probably will just take a bit of time but it's improved so you're getting there.

    That sounds great. Good luck with that!

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    thanks again for everything, appreciate it so much
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks again for everything, appreciate it so much
    No worries. I'll always be here if you need

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